Emmanuel AOG Christmas Food & Fun Fair

Yesterday was our church's food and funfair! We had great fun and the weather was absolutely gorgeous! Everyone's been praying for fine weather especially when the event's smacked in the middle of the monsoon season.

We sold hotdogs with mashed potatoes and fruit & marshmallow fondue. Everything was sold out by the time the funfair was over, which is absolutely amazing. One praise point - all glory to God for directing in making mashed potato gravy - which I'd NEVER done before! :) With ingredients ALL from home - and it's really just bare essentials. I thought my trusty cookbook would have the recipe, but it disappointed me. However, thank God - I found one online! Ingredients are a hassle, especially when my cell friends actually ran all around the island looking for the elusive ready-made mix. It's challenging also because most recipes required brown sauce, which meant we had to go to the supermarket - and we didn't have time for that. We only had one hour to churn it out.

I can't seem to find that recipe now, but if I can recall my experience - not the recipe, it is:

30g butter (look in fridge)
30g plain flour (look in cupboard)
300-320ml chicken stock (look in fridge for Knorr and pray that it's there)
1 tbsp beef granules (don't bother to look in fridge coz it won't be there. Substitute with BOVRIL!)
salt & pepper (Bring along - but salty enough, so don't have to add salt)
1 tsp mustard (You must be kidding. Although recommended, I didn't dare. And I didn't have also.)
10g Cornstarch (Maid will suggest.)

I multipled all ingredients by x3. Coz we were selling one whole pot of mashed potatoes.

Steps:
Heat butter. To get 30g butter, put knife in hot water to cut butter.
Mix in flour. Stir continuously till brown.
Pour in chicken stock. (VERY BAD IDEA.) Better to mix butter and flour INTO the stock instead - unless you like oily and painful fireworks.
Stir and stir. Hope it'll turn out the way it's supposed to.
Add in huge teaspoon of Bovril. (Huge teaspoon coz tablespoon cannot go inside the Bovril jar.)
Keep stirring. Mixture will thicken.
When it looks like it's not going to thicken anymore, maid will suggest to put in corn flour mixture. Then it'll thicken.
Taste. Pray. Cannot complain.
Then be surprised by the miracle. :)

I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY PRAISE GOD. We were praying very hard in the car because it was quite an impossible task. But God is good. He is the God of all! Even mashed potato gravy! :)

My bro & Jacque came to the funfair! It was amazing seeing them there. And we took 3 shots - well 2, and for the final one, there was some miscommunication, and we almost didn't take it. I'm glad we did - coz it was the BEST shot! :)


From left: Jacque, Randy, Mum, Me, Ben

Shalom when he was about 6 months old - I think

Was looking through some photos in my youtube collection - only a handful - and I found this classic. Our dear boy is some great actor! Winner of the Granny Award 2007! :)

Enjoy!

Dec Hols (Updated)

It's about the halfway mark for the holidays. It's been jammed packed, partly doing the activities I planned, and doing those I didn't plan and not doing those that I planned. :P

It's going to be another 3 weeks (or less) before I return to school, so here's the checklist:

Planned & Did/Doing:
1. Bake cookies
2. Go zoo
3. Go Jacob Ballas Children's Garden
4. Lose weight
5. Manicure/Pedicure
6. Go Pasir Ris Park
7. Dinner with granny (she came over to cook)
8. Church funfair
9. Revamp entire year's worksheet (almost done!)
10. Massage(s)
11. Facial(s)
12. Reading through 2 Timothy 30 times (I've read about 11 times this hols)
13. Re-reading Harry Wong's First Days of School
14. Reading Transformed by the Renewing of Your Mind by Robert Shirock
15. Read Second Dawn
16. Financial Budget for 2008
17. Prepare calendar (of events)
18. Science Club Workplan
19. Go Ikea to shop for couch and bookcase
20. Made homemade Playdoh (excellent stuff! Recipe here.)
21. Go Gogo Bambini
22. Prepare EL dept CD for P4 2008!
23. Get set of facial products
24. Prepare for getaway


Planned & Not done:
1. Shu'e's wedding
2. Science Club 30 week schedule
3. Get couch
4. Get bookcase
5. Pack study
6. Pack wardrobe shelves
7. Neaten messy hair
8. Get new clothes (current ones are dying/dyed or won't fit)
9. Get new shoes (all are worn out!)
10. Bake muffins
11. Catch Island Princess
12. Go Gogo Bambini
13. Go Birdpark
14. Go Underwater World
15. Personal Vision for 2008
16. Holiday getaway with Ben (coming soon)
17. Tint windows
18. Collect photos
19. Christmas presents (!!!)
20. Prepare EL dept CD for P4 2008!

I refuse to add anymore. I've got less than 15 11 days left and I won't be able to do all! :P

Didn't planned but doing:
1. Get hooked on Facebook
2. Find all my long-lost primary school friends eversince I lost touch with them 2 decades ago. (I left school earlier.)

I Cut My Hair!

Warning: Bimbo Post

After many weeks of fussing over my hair, I stepped into One Salon @ Century Square and was at the mercy of a very nice hairstylist, Alex. After 3 hours of hair cut and treatment, I finally stepped out - poorer, but feeling better. :)

Even Ben noticed that I looked different... and paid slightly more attention to me. :)


See the back? I didn't realise that this shot allowed the back to be seen too. :)

The Aftermath

Haven't been able to load the photos - a million things to do, it seems. Anyway, the baking was quite a success, with edible yummy cookies that has tons of chocolate chips, mini m&ms, rainbow rice, etc. It's really sweet! But the sweeter part was watching the girls enjoy themselves, plus Shalom eating more (chocs and cookies) than he was helping. The scary part, however, was the clean up, which Lina did almost right away. She enjoyed herself baking too. The buttery smell lingered overnight, and thankfully, by this evening, it's mostly gone.

Will post photos when I can find the cable to the digital camera which I'm finally using. Have been using my phone to take photos, and I know I'll kick myself for being lazy and not use the digital camera coz when I look back, I'll see only poor quality shots. :P

Am feeling less down these few days, thanks to the kids, Eve & Elise's company. I'm seriously re-thinking my Stay At Home Mum option in four years' time. If I were to do that, my social life would dwindle to - BEN. And that actually means zilch. We hardly see each other, meet up once in a while, and while we're at that, we talk about work and kids and him. I really hope this trip to Malacca and KL in 2 weeks' time will strengthen the marriage. If we continue the way we are, it will continue to be challenging. I'm glad that we're both looking forward to the trip, but lately I've been feeling very isolated; like I'm in a vacuum. When I talk, there seems to be no sound coming out, because there's no response. I can't even be honest with myself, with anyone, definitely not here. I'm dying inside.

But life still goes on.

Pretty Pretty!

Just came back from a classic manicure+pedicure appointment ($58 for trial, usu. $68) at Pretty Pretty at Eastpoint Mall. Made an appointment after reading the rave reviews in Simply Her mag, and since I wanted to do up my nails (in the midst of a total makeover without any drastic results... go figure) why not?

Am impressed. Equipment is sterilised for each use, and file, buff and toe separators are disposed of or given to customer after each session. Plus, the other quality products used, and that emphasis on hygiene! Customers to wash their hands with soap before treatment, feet soaked in disinfectant, micro-antibacterial something applied before nail polish... Great for clean freaks like me. And the place is so lovely! Nice waiting area, comfortable chairs, excellent service.

The service processes were very nicely thought through, and every single detail has been taken care of, right up to putting on my rings and watch before painting my nails. If that's the norm, then I've been to the wrong places. I thought it'd be nice if they had a tv, but later when I walked past another nail place which had a tv, I thought it wasn't as classy as Pretty Pretty with a local chinese channel being aired.

I was very surprised when I realised that the guy that'd walked in was the boss. When I saw him, I noticed his shirt - stripes, like the wallpaper and the decor. Hmmm... the in-thing? He's very professional, has excellent service, and even offered to get lunch for me, which obviously I declined.

Overall, I'm just very impressed by the level of service with this place. Seriously considering taking up a package - just that my annual budget for 2008 is supremely tight, and it's not really for a good cause. :P Great session nevertheless. :)

Attempting to Bake

We've got a cookie Christmas party on Saturday, and the kids will be baking them on friday! :) I'm searching around for a few recipes (with ingredients available locally!) and will jot a few here:

FIRST CHOICE FESTIVE COOKIES
Recipe By Chef Celian Leong

Ingredients (A)
1.75 cup Ghee oil
0.75 tsp Salt
1 tsp Vanilla extract
1.5 tsp Baking soda
2 nos FIRST CHOICE Egg yolks

Ingredients (B)
1.25 cup Icing sugar
2.5 cup Plain flour
2 tsp Baking powder
0.5 cup Crushed FIRST CHOICE Jackfruit Chips
0.5 cup Crushed FIRST CHOICE Cornflakes
0.5 cup Toasted FIRST CHOICE Almonds


Method of baking:
1. Place all ingredients from (A) into mixer, stir till light and fluffy. Hand-mix thoroughly ingredients (B) - flour mixture with First Choice ingredients (crushed Jackfruit Chips, Cornflakes and Almonds).
2. Fold in all ingredients from (B) into fluffy ingredients from (A) and mix into semi-soft dough. Place the dough in the refrigerator until it is slightly firm.
3. Divide dough equally, shape dough to desired cookie shapes and arrange cookies in line on the baking tray. Preheat oven before baking cookies. Bake the cookies at 180ºC for 12 to 15 minutes depending on size of cookies till golden brown.


Chef's Tip
Brush the cookies with egg white and sprinkle First Choice Chopped Macadamias nuts for a nutty taste.

My Two Angels

Without these two angels, my first year of teaching would be horrendous. They have been my trustworthy aides, my support and my help. I am just so thankful for them. They have helped me without reward for the longest time, and through their helpfulness and perserverance, I have learnt a lot. :)

Thank you Phyllis and Siok Khim. You have made 2007 a wonderful one for me. :)

Jacob Ballas Children's Garden

So in the end we trotted off to Jacob Ballas Children's Garden. We made a sudden detour after heading towards Vivo and went straight for JBCG. Needless to say, Abby was thrilled coz she's been asking to "go to the garden" eversince we brought her there once.

We stopped by the Kids' Cafe at the entrance, and sadly, the food isn't too fantastic; service wasn't all that great either. But when we went in, the water play area was quite a madhouse with the kids on a Friday afternoon. The water seemed uncontrollable, but the kids went all out to have a good time.


Abby and Shalom experimenting with the tempermental water spray. Vic was very suspicious of it initially.

Shalom was just mingling around with groups and observing what they were doing, and occasionally dipping his hands into their tubs, much to their annoyance. But he, he's one who can charm the socks of a caterpillar! :P


Watching the bigger girls do their thing.


Getting more up close and personal, much to their annoyance...


Dipping his fingers into where they aren't supposed to be...

Well, they aren't caterpillars, so they weren't really charmed. Simply put, they told him to buzz off.

Vic was rather cautious at the beginning, I guess from the short nap and frightening bigger kids, but after a while, she started warming up to the place. By the end of it all, she started having a great time! But by then, Shalom had run through the showers countless times and was standing at a spot, not really moving. I got quite scared. He was just looking at the kids, but this time round, his teeth were chattering. He was freezing! Quickly, I sprang into action, rinsed him up and got him wrapped up nice and warm. I grabbed his jacket and gave him hot milo. Soon he defrosted and came back to life. (The last time I tried to get him out of the water at the zoo, we almost had a fight. This time round, he was very willing.) Taught him how to tell me if it's really cold. I think he kinda got the idea.


After defrosting...about to head home.

We went back to the garden to touch the Mimosa plants, but Abby had to go to the loo. So after that, we ran out of time and had to leave.


Two pretty flowers at the garden. :)

We'll definitely be back again; it must take at least half a day of good weather to explore the whole place! :)

Vivocity! Here we come!

We're heading off to Vivo in a couple of hours' time. But, kids are having runny noses, so they might not get into the water after all, PLUS, the weather! *boohoo*

Science Centre perhaps? :)

My Inspiration

Both Ben (Underwood) and his mum. May I be like his mother, whose attitude is amazing. She has given him life, twice over.

Watch it.

We went to the Zoo today!

After dropping Ben off at work this morning, we headed for the zoo. Since we paid for the zoo membership, we had better make good use of it! :) We've been going quite regularly, and I'm glad that this time round, we saw more than just the Elephant Show.

We managed to catch the Splash! Safari show - with penguins, manatees and sea lions as the kids took their lunch. Abby was, as usual, whingy, coz we were seated very near the speakers. She doesn't like loud noises. After her ears were covered, she was much better.

Thereafter, we headed to the Children's Playland. After we grabbed lunch, I asked the kids if they were keen to head into the water play area. At first they were quite hesitant, then after their feet got the first taste, they were hooked. After I removed Shalom's tee and placed it at the stroller, I was shocked to find out that Abby had removed her top as well! She got really wet and didn't like the wet tee, so note to self: BRING SWIMWEAR, BIKINI AT LEAST! Sigh. Shalom, on the other hand, roamed freely around topless.



The kids knocked out soon after they rinsed up, and Shalom was so tired he fell asleep right after he saw his favourite - giraffes!



He was really very tired. They really enjoyed themselves. :) I know I did. ;)

Wine Appreciation

I did something I never dared to do last night. I stepped into a wine cellar, or shop rather. Shalom looked like he wanted a change of scenery after he put Peking duck into his hair and spitting out whatever food we put in his mouth. He had more than enough.

So I took him for a walk. As I stepped out of the restaurant, I saw the shop. One of the list of things to accomplish for 2008 is to get to know wine better. So I stepped in to enquire for courses. And I was in for a surprise. :)

The boss was very welcoming and replied that they don't usually hold courses, but I was most welcome for a glass of whatever's opened. So I joined in the party there. And in the course of doing so, I met two teachers! :) One of them initially asked what we thought her profession was, and I guessed correctly! :) It's just the vibes I guess, then the gentleman who guess that she was an engineer said that his partner (wife?) who was there is also a teacher, and fianlly it ended off with me revealing that I, too, am a teacher.

I learnt a lot last night, and most importantly, I made some new friends. I think I'm close to dying of loneliness if I don't break out of my rut soon.

I am now certified!

Was feeling kinda bored with all those after-school-term meetings, so I decided to join in one of the courses which came through the school's email. I thought since it'd be just a few hours event of learning something new, why not? My life's a li'l stagnated right now.

So I decided to go Sports Climbing.

Usually people call it Rock-climbing, but since it's known as such, you actually need... erhm, rocks, or a rock at least. Real ones. Those moulds they mount on walls, that's Sports Climbing. I seriously didn't know the difference, until yesterday.

So after 5 hours of setting up, learning to tie figure 8 knots, understanding that karabiners are NOT Carribenas (erhm, something close to the Carribean Sea?), put on the harnass, getting my flesh jammed in the ATC while belaying my colleague, overcoming my mental obstacle and reaching the top of the school wall TWICE!, wrapping up and getting inspired by all the mountaineering videos, I AM CERTIFIED!

Sports Climbing Certificate Level 1.

No big deal, but it's my FIRST ever climb! The only thing I usually climb is up onto my bed. Not trees, definitely not moulds on walls. I wanted to give up, really give up, and just polish up my skills as a belayer. But no... this session provided an excellent opportunity to bond with a not-so-familiar colleague whose going to be in the same level next year. With her help and support, I managed to press on and reach the top, which I never thought I could do it. I just wanted to cross the red line - about 2.5m off the ground. But the top, it's about 3 stories high I think!

But the catch which came later - now since we're certified, we'll need to be on call for kiddos who need to boulder or sports climb. Supervise; be their belayer. There's talk that there's going to be Level 2 training.

When I told Ben I was now certified Level 1, he asked me, "So how many more thousand levels to go before being fully certified?" :P

Actually, 2 more - Level 2 then Supervisor or Instructor Course. The latter is very expensive.

He was quite impressed I think. :)

Well, here's a video to inspire! However, Dan Osman's not around anymore - equipment failure. Watch the video! :)

Regaining Momentum

As most can see, i've hardly been blogging. Not that there isn't the motivation to do so-i've so many things to record- but i've gotta consider too many factors before i post anything. It's getting too crowded in here.

Not that i don't welcome readers reading my blog, but it's just that there are also who snoop around and criticise every single thing that is said. If this place irks you so much, i highly recommend a detour to the other blogs listed on my right.

Hopefully with the holidays coming up, i'll be able to post more. Just for the record, i'm stopping Diane. She's screwing up my life big time.

Last Week of School

The school year's almost coming to an end. I'm up in the middle of the night wondering what i'm going to bring for the class party tmw. Hopefully the canteen's got some party-worthy stuff to contribute.

The kids asked for mac's, but would breakfast suffice? I did think about that, but the b'fast sets don't seem too exciting. May check pizza out too-but do they deliver at 8 in the morning? Who eats pizza at 8 in the morning anyway?

I'll be having a mini prize giving ceremony before the party commences, thereafter followed by a Spring Cleaning Party, which the kids are excited about too. Really quite heartening, the way they love the class, except one or two aristocrats who think the rest is too lowly for them.

Need to sleep now...

Eyes...aiks!

Since the start of our SONbeam toddler ministry, we've been celebrating what God has created for us - our eyes, ears and mouth. So, for the start of the new month, we revised what we had learnt for the previous month by consolidating the activities - for the eyes, ears and mouth.

So for this particular activity, we were supposed to search for eyes in a woman's magazine, cut it out and then paste it on a piece of paper. So as I was happily cutting the eyes out, I decided to do something. I placed the cut outs over my face. The kids were strangely amused. Even Shalom was really amused. So I put it over his face and took a photo.


When he saw it, he went, "EEE!"

On Turning 30

I had a few gatherings last month- secondary school friends, poly friends, and that big topic arose-turning 30. Quite a few of them had already reached that milestone, while later ones like myself could buy a little more time before reaching there.

I reached there yesterday (technically 2 days ago). Thanks to technology, i received more birthday greetings than ever before. :) Lest i sound ungrateful, i was very touched when i received each one, appreciating the effort that was taken to send the message. :)

One of them asked how i felt turning older. I thought I'd feel over the hill since the twenties are now officially gone, but even i was surprised by my own answer. I said that i finally feel like i've grown up, that i'm no more a little girl. I am excited about the things that lie ahead of me. There are so many things to be done, so much to see, to accomplish.

i had a rather quiet affair, considering Ben & my birthday is just a day apart. We had a small celebration at home, just the four of us plus lina. Unfortunately, S wasn't too well so we cancelled dinner at Hanabi. Ouch. Although i was really looking forward to it, i really couldn't bear to go seeing S so uncomfortable. I really didn't have the heart or the appetite after seeing him throw his dinner up.

Towards the end of yesterday, I wasn't the most pleasant person to be around with. I was just feeling so down. I haven't been well myself and was so exhausted. In fact, i went to e doctor on thursday coz i felt generally unwell but wo pain, yet when the doctor checked my throat, he said it was very inflammed and that i was also running a fever. I didn't realise i was ill. Only when i found myself slurring in class a few days ago then i realised something wasn't quite right.

i really hope to rest well and be able to wrap up the academic year well plus keep the house in good order. I'm now 30, and it's time for me to take action.

Our Regular Weekends at Great-Granny's Place

contributed and edited by cousin Claire! :)

My Kids

When I see my students, I see directors, majors, businesspeople, salespeople who'll make it big, salespeople who shouldn't be in sales, teachers, accountants, accounts assistants, tai-tais, homemakers, drivers, shop assistants, shop owners, athletes, police officers, unemployeds, people who'll forever be trying to fulfill their dreams.

I speak to people, I hear stories. Stories of how they've exasperated their teachers countlessly. Stories of how much trouble they've gotten themselves into. Stories of how they've overcome themselves and moved to a higher level.

And the biggest problem I see in kids: their self-perception.

When they think they are hopeless, they act up terribly. When they see that they have hope, to never give up trying, they act according to the expectation placed on them. Although they might fall and fail at times, they get up and do't give up trying.

My worry is not for the troublemakers and the kids who often fail. My worry is for those who never make trouble and never fail. For when they taste failure, they might hate its unfamiliar repulsive taste and throw away their whole life - at a late age. Then it might be too late.

I celebrate and comfort when my kids fail. For it makes them stronger. They hate it, of course, but they have learnt to affirm themselves in other ways - ways that are often frowned upon in traditional school settings.

They talk a lot. They'll become great salespeople.

They move about a lot. They'll never stop coming up with ideas to get out of life's occasional rut.

They get into trouble for breaking rules. They'll go against conventional norms and break new ground as they think of things never thought of by those who are well-trained for school.

I love my kids.

My Own Place

I had such an awesome weekend! :) Finally, we managed to spend some quality time together as a family, and more importantly, as a couple. Finally, we managed to heave a sigh of relief as our transitions for this phase of our lives are coming to an end. We've done so much in the last 4 years it's amazing... marriage, in-laws, TWO KIDS, new jobs, bleak finances, studies, studies AND work, church, ministries, etc.

As we sat in the living room appreciating the overall design (of our home) that we came up with together (will post pictures up), I had the familiar sense of my childhood all coming back to me. The wind, the feel, the emotions. It was great to be home once again.

I am no longer displaced.

Shalom and the 28 Piece Puzzle

He's been very intrigued by how his sister assembles the puzzle together. So he's been trying to help. Usually his role is just to pass the next puzzle piece for his sister to place. However, he decided to do it on his own.

His concentration was amazing. His focus was unfaltering.

As I guided him to place each puzzle in their rightful slot, he got more and more excited. We cheered each time as he managed to put every piece in. Finally, he did it. All 28 pieces.



And he posed for this picture too! :)

My Happening Dotter

We went to her best friend's birthday last month and the birthday girl had a performer who did tricks, balloon sculpting and tattoos. Ab, who've never had a tat before, wanted one. Usually little girls would want flowers, sparkles, or anything frilly or pretty. So while she was waiting in line, Eve asked her what tattoo she wanted.

"Lion!"

Eve was surprised. But Ab was very sure. We thought she'd change her mind when it came to her turn.

When she was next, the tattoo-er asked her nicely, "What would you like?"

"Lion!"

So she got her lion.














A close up...


Can you see the lion? :)

Kids say...

I bought a pair of earrings from a colleague's friend yesterday. I showed Abigail when I got home.

Me (showing her the earrings on my ear): Look Abby, Mummy's got new earrings!
Abby (delighted): WoW! That's NICE!

Then out of the blue,
Abby: Auntie uh?

I was absolutely speechless.

Spending Time with the Kids

I've managed to ship the kids to their rooms after dinner for the past three evenings - with or without their gramps around - and we've been having a great time. We've developed some sort of a routine (but not in strict order) - writing, reading, puzzles, counting, drawing, music, animal play, doctor play - all within about an hour and a half. Even Shalom now understands that before we pull out another toy to play, we put the previous one back to its original position. He's quite good at putting those containers back into the drawers. The boxes look like three-quarters his size.

Both of them will sit on my lap during reading time and i'd have to squeeze my head between their heads to see the words on their books. Shalom loves to read - just like Abby. He's actually more endearing - he'd plonk himself on my lap with a book and get me to read. Actually he'd plonk himself on my lap anytime i'm cross-legged and sit there... :)

Just now we were getting a little wild, and I was puckering my lips asking for kisses. Abby smiled cheekily and continued playing. There was no response from Shalom, until I saw him raise his toy giraffe to kiss me! I kissed a giraffe! And a COW! :S I was really amused - this fella is so cheeky! :)

Filled up my deployment form today. I wanted to go PM session, but after speaking to Ben, I'm going for AM instead - mostly because of the kids and my time management. Hopefully everything works out well.

I've been taking pictures and videos of both the kids but haven't been able to upload them. They've really grown! :)

Dedicated to her

Jewel
Hands

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all ok
And not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these
I won’t not be made useless
Won't be idled with despair
I’ll gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I’m never broken

Poverty
Stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
Heartache came to visit me
but I knew it wasn't ever after
We will fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
Cause where there's a man who has no voice
there ours shall go singing

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I’m never broken

In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters

I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I’m never broken

We are never broken
We are
God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart

We are
God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's hands
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Under Pressure

Shucks. I just lost my most recent post.

Argh.

Abigail & Time

Abby was supposed to meet my godson on Friday, and she was really excited about it. Her nap time's usually from 12 to about 3, but that day, she woke up at 1.20 and tried to stay in bed till 2. She was really trying her best, but just like me, we can't go back to sleep once awaken. So when it was two, I decided to show her how 2 o'clock looked like on the clock because I mentioned that she could only get up at 3. She was amazed and went, "Oooh!!" Then she hopped back in bed.

When it was about 3 and we were done trying to sleep, I showed her the clock again. She went "WOW! That's...ELEPHANT!" She was truly amazed; I was truly amused. "What?" I asked her.

Then, once again, with utmost sincerity and wide-eyed amazement looking at the clock, "WOW, THAT'S EXCELLENT!"

Updates

The last entry was June 28, about some mindless entertainment with the mouse. About 2 months later, I look at my life and wonder what has happened since that entry. I took a personal 40 day journey (not literally) and adjusted my values. It has made quite an impact; I wonder how life would be from now on. Anywayz, back to the updates...

Ben & I
We've been busy. Real busy. His Masters programme has resumed, so Friday nights are lessons. He's got practicum, and is starting a fellowship where he's having it, which is absolutely awesome! So that leaves only one weeknight free, besides the weekly bible study. Weekends are for family, and so are mine.

I've been getting to school real early eversince we moved back to my in-laws for the upgrading. That's because I've been driving to school. Today was record time. I reached at 6.30a.m. and sat in the car, wondering how I got here so early. I used to arrive just before the flag raising. I like this kind of arrangement better.

We're readjusting our finances to make sure that we won't land ourselves in unfavourable predicaments. The pastor who preached last week really made an impact. What he said ministered greatly to me. It's really a different season of life now. I look at my bookshelf and it's loaded with books - and quite a number of them deal with finding a direction in life. Now that doesn't seem to be the question anymore, and after hearing his sermon on Sunday, that message really appealed to me. That's good news. :) In summary, biblical financial management in its entirety. :)

Abigail
She's talking a lot more and is code-switching rather well. She's asking Whys as a form of conversation extension and it's really enjoyable talking to her. She can draw really well and can colour well too! :) I like her art. It seems that she's doing really well in school also; her teachers are really fond of her and she gets along great with her classmates. Ben saw her play 'Scissors Paper Stone' with 3 other classmates moments after dropping her off in school. There were 2 obvious leaders in the group; she was one of them. :) I'm just really glad she's getting along well with Shalom too, instead of the usual tug of war and big wails. Shalom loves to tag along with her wherever she goes and loves her company! He mimics whatever she does, which is both good and not good.

I gotta go. Update again if there's time! :)

Now I Know How My Cursor Works...

Do you really want to know too? Click here! :D

First Day Back At School

I'm just so so glad to be back at school. Not because I'm away from my darlings, but work's been lingling on my mind for the WHOLE month of June, and I'm just glad to be back to FOCUS on what has to be cleared.

I just moved tables because my cubicle and my colleague's had an 'en bloc sale' for nothing. Now I've taken over Abby's godma and it's a lovely place surrounded by great colleagues. Now I understand why she's reluctant to relocate. :'(

God was really with me the whole day today. I managed to carry out whatever I had planned to do in PEACE. Though the kids were rather unsettled, given that it's the first day back at school and it's a new seating arrangement which I think most of them are thrilled at their new positions except for a handful, I could literally sense God's presence in the classroom. I was almost worried sick about today, and I really didn't know how I was going to pull it off. I stayed till about 2am in the morning just preparing the lesson plans and had to wake up at 6. I prayed that I would wake up on time. Was rather worried and couldn't fall asleep properly. Ben hit the sack and knocked out straightaway even though he turned in later than me. He's really tired, my poor boy.

Anyway, I broke the news to my class today that I'd be taking them Maths. Prior to that, I'd warned them that I had news, and that that news could either be good or bad. But if it's bad news to them, they had to keep their reactions to themselves... and maintain a straight face... hahaha... :) Many cheered when they heard the EMS news! :) Praise the Lord! :D I really hope I can help them... please God, let me be a blessing to them especially in their studies...

I'm all excited and geared up to go! Although my backlog is horrendous, I thank God that He is helping me soar! It's really all glory to God! I still have my unbelievable deadlines, but I believe that with God, all things are possible! :D

Church Camp, Kids Sick, Lina's Back!, Approaching Avalanche

Haven't been able to blog coz my hands (and feet) are tied with overwhelming responsibilities. Nevertheless, I'm glad life's almost back to sanity. We returned from church camp on the 15th and it was AMAZING. When I first arrived there, I was spent. Tired. Fatigued. During the first session, Ps Martin Steel spoke about coming with a heart of expectancy. I just expected to survive the camp. Nothing else. But God just was amazing. Actually, I was anything but enthusiastic. I was bitter, fatigued, worried, aching, miserable etc... so when Ps Martin asked us to get into groups of 2s and 3s to pray for one another, I wasn't that excited about it. In fact I wanted to go back to the room. However, it seemed like God had other plans. This lady turned around and smiled at me after the instructions, and so I went up to her and joined hands with her. She just said, "Let's pray as the Holy Spirit leads." I was like, hmm... alright. I felt this strong anointing on her, but since I was so out-of-shape emotionally, spiritually, etc, I just went along with her.

When she started praying, she was spot on for every single bug in my life. From that coldness in my heart, to the fatigue, to that silent isolation which I hardly told anyone, and even healing for the backache which I have been having. God was indeed alive and kicking, through her I felt heard and alive. I cried like a baby and just simply couldn't stop. She understood. I had not even said a word and she understood.

The next evening, when she saw me again, she rejoiced. She saw that I was completely different. Indeed I was. With that divine encounter, I couldn't stay the same - cynical and embittered. In fact, upon hindsight, I believe it was because I had to serve on the worship team the next morning that I had this 'clean-up' so that I could worship Jesus without hindrance and to help lead His people to worship Him. Anyway, she said that she had such a huge burden for me the evening before that when she returned to her hotel room, she continued praying in tears for me. God really works wonders.

Besides this encounter, my cell-groupmates had the burden for everyone to come together before the day starts and after the day's activities to pray together. Every morning at 6.40am before the 7am prayer service and 10.30pm after the evening service. It was very exciting! In fact, as we gathered around outside the conference room to pray, our dearest pastor Mark was moved to tears at seeing that passion in our cell. Everyone has been ignited. And we need to protect our fire and fan the flame. Usually after each church camp, when the fire is not well-protected, it would perish due to neglect. However, when we united and close ranks, the fire keeps on burning. In fact, the cell now gathers at 7.30pm to have a pre-cell prayer before cell at 8.20, and yesterday cell was radically different! In fact our worship leader said that of all the cell meetings she's attended, yesterday was the most exciting so far! It was amazing! :D Praise God!

I'm so glad the kids have bonded so well with the cell group, especially with Eileen, Soks, Jeremy, Chellie and Anderson. Usually the kids would be rather shy, but after this camp and now that we're meeting so regularly, they are family to the kids!

God's really so good. In spite of challenges like Shalom's 40.3 deg Cel fever, we continued praying as well as giving med, sponging, and miraculously, today he's all well! Yesterday he was still above 39.5. Unfortunately, Abby's now down with fever, hovering around 39 plus, so it's really back to prayer, medication and sponging. As the cell prayed for healing for the two kids, we were expecting healing. Shalom's healed! Now's Abby's turn!

Praise God that Lina's back! Ben and I have learnt to appreciate her way much more, as we've had experience with other helpers during her absence, and the way she works is absolutely commendable. I'm just glad God's blessed us with her.

The hols are coming to an end, but God's proven Himself faithful. Although I feel like I'm treading into an absolutely chaotic territory come Monday, He has promised that He will see me through it all. Through Anderson's testimony during cell, I am encouraged by how the seemingly huge workpile was easily dealt with. I really pray for supernatural time management and efficiency so that I will meet my deadlines and be a responsible and proactive teacher. This really calls for a miracle!

Flying Thoughts

Playing the role of a homemaker these few days has knocked my breath out, especially with Shalom sick again. Also, with the setting of the P5EM3 SA2 paper at the back of my mind (vetting on the Wed of the first week when school reopens!!) it's been challenging. I've bonded really well with the kids, and Abby's whining less.

But...

MIL and helper has been coming over since Wednesday because Shalom was falling ill - difficult to take care of one fussy and sick kid and the other one wanting a playmate all the time - and I can't say it's been easier. For one, when we play, I try to get the kids to pack before moving on to something else. But with the other adult around who's also pullling things out and wanting to do something with them and then abandoning it halfway (like pulling out Abby's PJs and wanting to go through them to see which are too small in the midst of their winding down period which is usually a mad time) it's been messy.

Really messy.

But the most frustrating - is the part where she's screaming at the maid so often. And I can tell that the poor maid really can't understand bahasa malayu because she's indonesian, and my MIL keeps raising her voice in frustration in an effort to EXPLAIN CLEARER to the maid. Doesn't she understand that BY SPEAKING LOUDER IN A LANGUAGE SOMEONE ELSE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WILL NOT MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND ANY BETTER?

Try loud Hainanese with a non-Hainanese Chinese speaker.

Sigh.

Another trivial incident - wanted to give Shalom medication. Bottle said "3q of a teaspoon". Standard teaspoon is 5ml, so mathematically it is 3.75ml right? Nooo... MIL's logic - must use the teaspoon given by clinic and get 3/4 (mind you, the base of the teaspoon has less surface area than the top) because 3/4 of a teaspoon is less than 3.75ml using a syringe. "3.75ml too much. 3/4 teaspoon ok!" argh.

I tried explaining to her.
Me: Three quarters of a teaspoon is 3.75ml.
She: No, the syringe too much. I feel that the spoon just nice.
Me: You see, half of 5ml is 2.5 right?
She: ...
Me: and half of 2.5 is 1.25 right?
She:...
Me: Add 1.25 and 2.5 up that's 3/4 of 5ml.
(As I'm blogging this I think I should have just saved my breath.)
She: No, I think too much. 3/4 of teaspoon just nice.
Me: (knock head on wall)

I even showed her. I used water in a syringe and placed 5ml onto the teaspoon given by clinic. I proved it to her. But still. No no. Cannot.

This kind, if my Science student, I die.

Sigh.

Camp's coming up next week. On the final night of the camp, we're supposed to dress up and "Live our Dreams". What's my dream? I've been asking myself. A businesswoman? Nah. A librarian? Maybe. But I see myself carrying two kids, in charge of the household and homeschooling them.

And through these few days, I realised that I need household help to be able to homeschool them effectively. Otherwise they'll just end up learning how to do the housework for 6 years. Not very good for a homeschooling syllabus.

I need to get in touch with myself once again. To get alone and gather my thoughts. Ben's been far too busy and I'm all alone in this no-Lina period. He does try to help but I can tell it's really stretching him. Work's just cruel to him. I think he's really missing out on the kids' childhood at the rate he's working. I'm sure there are those jobs which do actually knock off at 5. Shan't say too much about his work, lest he gets into trouble.

As for myself, from next term onwards, I want to work decent hours instead of 7 to 7. I hope to leave at 4 and spend time with the kids, despite the messy house and noisy environment. Blardy frustrating.

Learning from the Children

As I watch the children growing up, I am learning, re-learning and realising things about myself and the people around me.

I see the quiet confidence in Abby, and I realise that I was made like that as well. The insistence, reactions to things around her, all remind me of my childhood. What truly amazes me about her is that once she has chosen something, she usually will stick to it. I on the other hand, have been trained NOT to trust my preferences and instincts. Instead, I have been 'trained' to do what I am told to do, or else...

The breaking of my will has led to rather undesirable consequences. For one, it took me a really long time to find my confidence again, to live by my decisions rather than regret it - as always, I would regret my decisions as I often made them based on what the 'majority' wants. Terribly indecisive, because being 'nice' was the right thing to do. Offending people was frowned upon, like how I was brought up, so I had to avoid nasty confrontations, like plates of rice flying into my face if I dared defy parental authority.

Quietly, I respect Abby's stubbornness and determination. Although she must learn to be obedient, yet at the same time, I must not allow her to go unheard. As a result of suppression and going with the flow, I lost myself and didn't know myself anymore. I just went along and did not know what I wanted. As a result, I lost precious time and respect from others and myself, for myself.

Through Abigail, I have once again rediscovered myself. To let my yes be yes, and my no be no. In the past, I would do things simply because it was the right thing to do especially when the world was doing it. Like going into Mass Comm. Just because it was difficult to get in, I had to get in. Stupid. After getting in, I almost drowned because that just wasn't me. I should have gone into engineering. Or try my best to get into a JC or something.

Or getting to my secondary school. I went there coz everyone else went there, even those who had better scores than me. So I assumed it wasn't too bad a school. I was never guided to get to a good school. My parents were too busy. I remembered a phonecall from my mum asking me to speak to some older girl who was supposed to help me choose a secondary school. Yah right. I couldn't remember the conversation, but just that my mum's effort in guiding me was to shove the phone to some unsuspecting girl who had no idea what she was supposed to say.

I recognise the Abigail's resistence within me. I hear that almost inaudible voice, muffled whenever I don't like something, yet I am not supposed to voice my displeasure. Because I would face the "or else".

Conditioning.

It is rearing its ugly head in the marriage. As I keep silent on some matters, I am not truly silent. Ben is helping me create an 'equal partnership', but because the man is supposedly to 'lead' the family, I end up quiet. He is trying to get me to speak. And I am learning how to.

Today, a colleague asked me if I was taking my Masters. A lot of people in the staff room are taking their Masters. Under previous circumstances, I would probably have followed suit soon. Besides the fact that we have been undergoing through numerous life changes which are highly stressful, I would probably have started toying with the idea of doing my Masters.

Except that - it is not part of my life-goal to do Masters. I know I am not going to do it. I have studied for so long - more than 20 years in education and I see no point in doing it anymore. I want to homeschool the kids, and I don't need a Masters to do so. Unless one day, I find an area I am so passionate about that I want to do my Masters in it. Until then, I am glad I am not pressured into doing it.

So I told my colleague that I wasn't going to do it, plus my reasons. She said that she was considering. However, until now, she can barely cope with the workload. I see myself there. I see myself not coping and yet wanting to pile on more. But I forget that the pressure will mount. Limited capacity to deal with unlimited workload. Somehow, something will give. What will it be? My marriage? My health? My family? My life?

With Abby's strong personality, I am encouraged. Because I know I was once like that. That is my 'nature'. Although my 'nurture' has made me into who I am today, I know I am not as spineless as I think I am. Especially when it comes to dealing with older women.

I had a conversation with Ben yesterday. He said that he was concerned about my treatment of Abby's resistence. I tend to take the authoritarian approach instead of the authoritative way - the former a controlling adult vs the latter, a controlled adult. I recognise it myself too, as it was often the way I was treated when I displayed such stubbornness when I was young. However, there is a difference. I was too often left emotionally abandoned after the 'treatment'. No explanations or reassurances were given. In fact, I had to seek forgiveness and made to feel bad about myself. On the other hand, Abby is given instructions, explanations and reassurances. If that had been done for me, I would turn out a very different person.

Abigail is highly talented. Although initially she was rather unsure about herself and needed a lot of assurance, lately she has developed a quiet confidence. Although it would drive us nuts because as efficiency would be compromised, after when we explained the situation to her, she would understand and relent or compromise.

I really pray that I would not exasperate the children but provide a firm yet assuring presence in their lives. I pray I would never stifle their true selves, yet at the same time, be able to help them become disciplined individuals who care for the people around them.

Lina-less month

It's Day 3 of No-Lina Month. She almost didn't make it home. We checked the night before her departure and realised that AdamAir flights out of Singaproe to Jarkarta had been cancelled. As it was past midnight, we could not contact the office here. Thankfully, we managed to contact the handling agent (I think) of/at Changi Airport (we called some number on the airport webpage) and they made arrangements for us.

Finally she boarded ValuAir-Jetstar after the lady whom we liaised with removed the ticket of the flight that was cancelled. Lina survived the transit at Jakarta between international and domestic airport, but was told that she could NOT return to Singapore coz she did not have the air-ticket. She was close to tears when she called Ben. We got that sorted out - either it's the travel agent's fault or that lady - I'm not sure, but I'm glad she's looking forward to coming back. She called Ben the next day and told him that she was really keen on coming back. Anyway, we were supposed to be informed of the cancellation but the phonecall never reached us. Either the travel agent's fault, or the maid agency, or simply inconsiderate behaviour.

Today started at 7. I set the alarm and it also woke Shalom up although it's quite soft - a clip of Abby singing Happy Birthday - or maybe he really likes that song? And he woke Abby up. So Ben had to wake up too. Made breakfast, bathed the kids, did laundry, cooked lunch, Ben mopped the floor, we washed up and packed the kids up for church. Then fed them in church with the very first meal I cooked especially for them. Although the first meal seemed presentable, it was not as easy to eat coz the corn was quite indigestable. I thought since they like the Mac's corn-cup so much, I'd add corn to the porridge. Only that the kernel had this tough bit which made it quite tough to swallow. Thankfully the next meal which was this evening- Salmon porridge - was quite alright. But then again, Shalom eats anything. :)

After church, we brought the kids back. They napped and woke up around 3plus. Abby started feeling sluggish and started running a fever later. Nevertheless, we entertained her request of the weekly Macker's meal as we were on our way to Kallang Stadium for GDOP, but she wasn't too thrilled. Fussy throughout. Fed Shalom at Stadium, Abby slept. She didn't eat. Had a drink and threw up in the car. She was dozing on and off, and I was worried as fever accompanied by lethargy is a cause for concern. We brought her to the GP and she suddenly came alive. Even started chatting with me happily. But when she got home, she started getting fussy and whiney again. Sigh.

I asked Abby yesterday if she missed Lina. She thought for a while and smiled, "I want Mummy...!" :) My heart melted. Both the kids know that Lina's not around, yet they haven't really asked for her.

I found a note from Lina to my MIL's helper today in one of the drawers. Although in Bahasa Indonesia, one sentence touched us - it read (in English), "Dewi please could you take care of the two kids, Shalom and Abigail." So sweet. :) Her sense of responsibility is very rare. :)

I spoke to my granny's helper yesterday and she told me that it is not easy to live in Indonesia once their contract ends. The conditions cannot be compared to here, and since they've been so conditioned to our kind of hygiene and lifestyle, they find it difficult to adjust to their former conditions. She could only stay up to 4 months before she requested to work overseas again. She wanted to go Hong Kong, but it seems that paperwork takes a long time, and Singapore's much faster, so she returned here instead.

These few days have been thoroughly physically exhausting, yet I really do enjoy it. Ben said that it isn't as hectic as this at work, and I told him that I quite like it - with all the childcare, household, laundry (with my mother's handwash methods - I can't use the machine to wash lah, except to spin dry... psychological barrier) cooking, cleaning, packing, etc, and he said that I really do like motherhood. Of course.

My only struggle? My backlog of work that's awaiting to be done this June hols. Oh well.

Am I Dreaming or What?

It's been such an awesome weekend. Although most people would complain about the pain, it's been great. It's all glory to God.

I've been under the weather since the start of the week, but since it's post-exam madness - marking of exam scripts, tallying of marks, entertaining the kiddos with work and going through marked scripts, checking OAS and exam papers for errors, making sure those suspected 'editors' would edit their marks by photocopying the script before returning to them, uploading marks, making sure books and files that are due for checking are in order (that still not done), attending a FULL DAY COURSE in the midst of the madness on Thursday, dealing with disappointment from a Band 1-der getting a Band 3 for Science, taking my Science club sweeties mixed with one-sixth of my 'highly adventurous and energetic' form class to the Singapore Science Centre, dealing with 2 kids who threw up on the way there because of the horrible bus ride, having a whale of a time at the Singapore Youth Science Festival (glad the kids got to run around the Science Centre legitimately), seeing my form class sweeties learning so much through hands-on activities. AND THEN, when the weekend started, we (BEN & I! The Parents!) took Abby to her Saturday playgroup and thereafter mobilised the maid to zoom to ICA coz Ben was stuck there in a 800-people long queue collecting his & Shalom's passports while Abby & I were at the Playroom. Abby & I took a train three trains there (had to transfer etc) and finally reached Lavender. Waited some more, but had Mac's (weekly affair) latest at Kallang with an indoor playground, then returned to ICA again to wait some more. Spent so much time with Abby & Shalom - in fact never so intense before - that I can literally sense the bond between Shalom & myself. Previously I was simply the child-producer and the milkmaid. We played and played. He was even comfortable enough to sit on my lap today to watch telly! :) Oh, and last evening Abby actually finished her fishball bee-hoon soup ALL BY HERSELF! No struggles, nothing whatsoever. We were having a very simple meal, eating together as A FAMILY. OUR FAMILY. I was so grateful for that moment. Abby didn't go into her Granny vs Mummy mode by using one against the other and we had such a great time. :)




Abby at the Playroom paper cutting and craft work on 'Long' and 'Short'. The teachers say that she's able to stay on task for a long time. :)

We went church today, Ben served with cell for ushering, I took care of the two kids in the nursery while Lina had her off day. Fed both kids. After church, they took a 45-min nap in the car and we went for lunch at California Pizza Kitchen at the Forum. Raved about as a kiddy place, wanted to check it out, but it wasn't as fancy as I thought. Food was pricey and they had parsley with their Original BBQ chicken. Even Shalom was trying to remove the greens from his food. :S Probably won't go back there again. The only child-friendly stuff was the kids' menu, some activity sheet to scribble on, crayons and a kiddy cup (actually a takeaway plastic cup like what Mac's uses). About 4 times the price though, of a Value Meal. We went to one of the pizza restaurants in Sydney and it was really child-friendly. They had a smaller kiddy cup which was great for small kids, activity sheets for kids also, and they had DOUGH for everyone to knead and then they would bake our creations! :D Pricey also, but fun. :)

After lunch, we went to the 2nd level playground. Abby made a new friend and was quite affected when she disappeared suddenly without saying goodbye. :'( Her name's Clara (before I forget).

It was a random shot I took coz I wanted to MMS eve about the place. Too bad phone not enough memory to mms. :P

They played really well, even held hands when Abby was looking for Shalom. We hid in a corner coz my li'l prince toppled and needed comfort via a quick fix. They played for a long time, and Shalom could crawl up the rock-climbing slope! :) Very garang, that boy. But still doesn't like the ball-pit. He charmed the lady-in-charge who gave him a Mac's wedge when she saw us later.

We left the playground and went looking at kids' books and toys in the shops. It's so awesome and so fun. We just spent the time, unhurried, checking out stuff. Usually I'll feel like I'm imposing even on Lina as we while away time, coz she'll be there standing, waiting for us. So just knowing that all four of us were having a great time made it all so great! :) Ben was happily checking out the toys also, and even bought a 3D map for Shalom. IF I have the time, I'll snap a shot and post it.

We picked Lina up around 6 and headed off to my granny's place. It was fun. Abby remembered the kittens there and they've grown up so quickly! :) She was so chatty at my granny's place. Shalom, as usual, was eating ever so often. On Sat night, Ben bought grapes. Shalom kept stuffing in his mouth that it was jammed packed! And he kept going on. So dangerous, but yet so adorable! :) Heh. :)

Another week of madness, and then Lina's leaving on Friday. Thereafter, it's going to be a new chapter.

Sun nite - prepare powerpoint slide of How to Create Air-Rocket coz my LR expects it to be a breeze. I am Kia-See. Dowan to die tomorrow explaining to the kids that if they mess up their rockets, it will boomerang and jab them in the eye.
Mon - Get kids to create bottle air-rocket. Prepare for Tues prize presentation and Scrabble competition. Collect star records from pupils.
Tues - Launch air rocket. Conduct Scrabble competition. Conduct prize giving ceremony.
Wed - Go through English Paper with 4A. Prepare Meet-The-Parent session on Thursday. Pray like mad that everything will go well. Attend course in church on Studying the Bible in the evening.
Thurs - Meet the parents. Survive it. Rush book checking.
Friday - CLEAR MY TABLE. (Don't underestimate that task. That includes finishing up all my work... *BIG CRY*)

Oh well. This too shall pass. :) And I'll have another awesome weekend! Or will I?

I'm supposed to blog this so...

A couple of days ago, Ben and Abby were about to leave for school. As usual, she'd bid farewell to didi, Lina-jiejie, the chair, the floor, the tv, the fan, the sofa, the carpet, the door... you get the idea.

So on that day, prior to leaving, she wanted to take her laptop along to school.
Ben: Abby, we can't take that. It's too big, it can't fit into your bag.
Abby (ponders and looks at both laptop and Hello Kitty backpack): Too big? Cannot go in.
Ben: Yes, that's right, we can't bring that.
Abby: Ok, cannot bring.

Later, as they got into the car, which was about 10 minutes or so as they made their way past a playground and offered the daily courtesy hello to a neighbour attending Brighton M., she requested for the toy bag in the car. She started looking inside as usual, then suddenly...

Abby: Oh! It's here!
Ben (looking at her): What? Oh, your phone? (referring to her toy mobile phone a.k.a. the noisy thing)
Abby: Not too big right?

Ben was stunned. She was actually making reference to the laptop and comparing both, and at the same time persuading Ben to let her take that to school.

...

Last night, when we were about to doze off, Ben was on the phone with one of his kids. Then when he ended the conversation,
Abby: Who's that?
Mummy: One of Daddy's probationers.
(a slight pause...)
Abby (repeating herself, directing the question to Daddy): Who's that? WOMAN UH?

We were stunned. Ben exclaimed that even Mummy doesn't even ask that! :D

Paradigm Shift, Elnathan's Full Month, Sunday

It's been quite a life changing period. The books that Ben and I have been reading, the movie we watched plus the audio cds that we've finished and those that we're listening to... Plus the sermon this morning. Am really convinced that our personal agendas need to change. The end days are here. Just look at the calamities. It's occuring at a rate like never before in history. As much as I've been quite an environmentalist, the still small voice I hear within says, "Don't worry. I will create a new heaven and a new earth. The end is coming soon."

With that, I have no idea how to carry on my Science Club. I've been passionately converting the little kiddos to "Save the Earth(!)" and "watch what you do coz that's just gonna kill the earth even more!" until I felt it has almost become a religion. So with a gentle reminder from a kingdom perspective, I see the picture in a different light now. I'll still integrate what they are learning from P4 Science to the environment coz that's what it's all about but to focus on people instead of the planet. As much as we fret about it, I got reminded of someone once telling me, "If the Earth was tilted one degree more, it'll be too hot and we'll all die. Similarly, if it's tilted one degree less, everything will freeze and we'll also die." Hmm... so if it gets too hot, I'm sure it would it be too hard for God to tilt his footstool a little bit so that things can be in order once again? :D Heh.

Oh well. I'm just glad all this will be over soon. The end is coming. :) And we're going home.

I once thought about this analogy: Life is like a foetus in the mother's womb. As a foetus, we think that's it. Until it's time and we're born. Then we enter into this world. Likewise, as humans, we think, "this is it." Until we die and then we enter into another world. And in that other world, it's for eternity.

Cheem eh?

Anyway, after church today, we went to a friend's baby's full-month celebration. Baby's called Elnathan. We were once all part of the Ezzo group, and I think they aren't really devout followers... sounds like a cult? But I caught up with another mother and she's all struggling with her soon to be 3 yo. She said that she really can't manage to get her girl to be 'First Time Obedient' as much as she's trying so hard. (FTO is part of the Ezzo syllabus.) As she said that, I tried comforting her by saying, "Even when God asks us to do something, we don't usually respond with First Time Obedience. What more with little kids (who are so fond of testing boundaries)?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that we aren't Ezzo-followers anymore. It creates really unhealthy expectations and messes up relationships - parent-child and between parents. I also mentioned about my 2 English classes. For my form class, I have higher expectations and usually get way more frustrated. For the other class, I don't expect as much. As a result, with less frustration and tension, the second class is performing better than the first class. I yell more at my form class, and it's really affecting them a lot. I read elsewhere that research has shown that yelling so often at a living thing will actually kill it. I think they used plants. I hope.

I must learn NOT to yell at the kids. I am destroying them. And I'm not supposed to do so.

Back to today. I actually met my primary school good pal! I saw a familiar face and then called out to her. She took a moment before she recognised me. We actually hung out very often together when we were little girls! And after I left, we lost touch. We lost contact for TWENTY YEARS. So old liao. :P She actually remembers me! :) Must go dig old photos. Heh. She's got a little boy now, and even said that her mum will be so surprised to know that we met. (Her mum? Wow, she'll actually remember me too?)

After that, we exchanged contact and took a group photo. Abby wanted to go swimming coz the celebration was at a condo, so she was offered two choices - Aunt's condo or beach. She wanted the beach because of the sand.


May Day's outing to the beach. The only decent picture.

It was rather early, so we thought we could catnap at home first. She didn't really wanna sleep, but we bribed her with McDonald's plus beach after the nap. We overslept and tried to get her to wake up. We told her we couldn't go to the beach. She was fine with that. But almost immediately, she whined, "McDonald's?" with tears in her eyes. Wah lau.

Oh well. Her daddy got her a corn cup before we reached her great-granny's place. When we got there, she was very terrified of Joy - now my mum's pom. Actually was mine but I really can't manage so many especially with a terribly noisy pom plus 2 babies. She kept crying whenever she saw Joy, until her dad said, "Joy joy is a hamster!"

That was the thing that did the trick. She likes hamsters but really doesn't like Joy. So when Ben said that, she was way much better. She even mentioned her 'Mouster' - her Godma's hamster. It's Mouse and Hamster combined. She keeps calling that. Oh well. Quite cute eh?

So we got back. Because of the late naps, the kids didn't sleep till late. It took almost an hour to lull them to sleep. Shalom kept getting up - almost like the Gremlins which keep appearing! Except that this one is way cuter! :D

Late. Gotta get up early tomorrow later. Back to work.

Shalom at 13m 3w

He's officially a toddler! His first long distance steps (about 15 at a go?) were taken today when I WASN'T around at his grandparents' place. Sigh. Oh well. :'(

He climbed down - feet first - from his sister's knee-high bed. I've been training him to go feet-first for quite a while - and he kept going palms down from his lower pull-out bed - and suddenly he just started going feet down. Thank God. Just now, he came down from Abby's bed feet first! Woohoo! He must get more used to it. And he helped me put back the books before bedtime! Erhm... I directed him the push the books back into the bookshelf - and tried to get him not to pull the books out again. Not easy, I say. :P

And he's talking quite a bit - he's pretty much parroting whatever people are saying, and I think he's slightly faster than Abby in terms of speech development. I remembered Abby as being comfortable with two-syllable words for quite a while, but this fella is managing more than 2 rather well. Or either that I spent more time with Abby and less with Shalom so it seems that Abby was longer. Hmm... Anyway, he's blabbering quite a bit and is rather shocking at times. For instance...

(at the beach last Sunday)
Abby the cheena girl (picking up the dislocated handle of a pail): Orh!! Didi nong huai de! (Didi damaged this!)
Shalom (almost immediately as he looked up from his sand digging): Mei you! (Don't have!)

It's really scary. And they repeated the scene, which Ben witnessed as well the second time round. Are they supposed to be having a conversation so early?

He can really say quite a number of words. I think I am just not doing enough for him.

Oh well. I am so looking forward to the church camp with Ben & the kids! Not easy, but not impossible I believe! :) I am also looking forward to 'retirement' (if God wills) when my time is up and be able to take care of the kids fulltime. That's always been my dream - to take care of my children myself. Will it ever be possible?

Chrysalis

I am just about a few minutes away from my next class, and in the midst of this pre-exam madness, I am about to explode.

I titled this 'Chrysalis' because that's pretty much what the kids are - THEY ARE CACOONED. ASLEEP IN THE CACOON.

I can talk, demonstrate, let them see, let them touch, let them experiment and play and they still have NO IDEA what they are doing. I am really teaching a special needs class.

Now it's filing season. I replace the worksheets of those who have been irresponsible, and one ultimate BLUR QUEEN writes her name on the worksheet, holds on to it for a few days, and then hands it in. EMPTY. BLANK. Like, "huh?"

ARGH. They are really quite badly labelled by other teachers at this point in time. Behaves 'well' only when I'm around. Yell at the top of their lungs when they feel like it. Gosh. Their self-control button is really jammed.

I need a break.

Beyond Madness

Breathing a sigh of relief. Out of the seven files I owe two classes of kids, I've managed to return two full files and one half file (Science notes only). Had to bribe them with stickers (I use an accumulated stars award system to collate their stars and smiley faces stickers) - one sticker for each completed unit with all corrections done. Took 2 periods each class to get the files straightened out. Note to self: Do not use yellow file for My Pals worksheet even though stipulated by dept. It just doesn't make organisational sense.

I have about 10 more stacks of marking to be done by Monday and then about 10 more to be completed by the end of next week before their exams begin. The classes seem to be changing tides - in the past, it used to be my non-form class that was a handful. Now it's my class. But they don't act up in front of me - only in front of trainees and CL teachers are they rude, defiant and generally non-co-operative. Sigh. Then I have to blast pep-talk them.

I really like this photo. :)


So typical of my cheeky boy! :) He's about to walk now! :) And is repeating lotsa stuff that we're saying. :) Heh. Such a darling! :)

Our Very Important Princess

Here's our lovely princess all dressed in her favourite colour! :D She's such a charm, and she's been up to so much fun lately! :) Love the way she's suddenly sprouting Mandarin. Although she does code-switch between English and Mandarin, I'm just glad she isn't too adverse to her mother tongue (though her mother is really trying to speak Mandarin to her regularly). She's becoming more independent now, and is able to play with kids her age and even younger. She looks forward to going children's church and will ask to pray for people every night before we sleep. She's really teaching me how to pray without ceasing. She's into drawing on walls now :S and will love the brother to bits even as she bullies him into obeying her. He's learnt to defend himself though - his grip is quite secure. She'll try to grab something from him and he'll NEVER let go. We usually let them sort things out themselves (but I can't really say when the gramps are around). Anyway, she gets her way at times coz she's more mobile than him. I hope when they grow up they'll live amicably. My brother and I didn't turn out too badly. :D Anyway, she loves to take photos. Give her a camera and she'll take photos of her favourite object - the tv - besides other stuff that cannot be blogged about. *sheepish*




Oh well.

Fantastic Weekend

I've just had a fantastic weekend. Although I've been sick the entire long weekend - extended by two days because I was on MC since Wednesday and still nursing the cold - it's been amazing. I was knocked out cold on Wednesday; tried to sleep the entire day but was interrupted once in a while by the kids which was fine with me. Anyway, I caught the bug from them and then they wanted it back. So we ended up sharing it.

Was supposed to meet up with Mich and Elise but had to cancel it the last minute because by then I was out cold again by 9pm. I would have been the living dead at the date. :( Sorry babes, we'll arrange again k?

Why was the weekend fantastic? Because Ben helped me put the foot down. As from the weekend, the verdict is - as long as there's an adult (other than the helper) at home, my MIL is free to do whatever she likes on her own. Perhaps the arrangement might sound harsh (to her at least), but honestly, I really didn't give birth to two kids for her pleasure. It was only from this weekend that I'm beginning to recognise the semblance of the family we were supposed to be.

Take for instance - if Ben & I were living on our own, somewhere else in another country, and his mum was there, day in day out, we wouldn't be able to define to coupleship. But if we were on our own, getting the hang of things on our own, we would be able to identify ourselves as a couple. This is a result of boundaries.

Likewise, for these 5 days (4.5 actually coz she was over on Wednesday but left in the late afternoon), I've finally started to bond with the children and together with Ben, be the authority of the household. It's not easy, but it's surely worth it. On Saturday night, the kids ate something I cooked for them for the very first time. Including my granny also. Although the noodles weren't fantastic, still I was glad they could finally have something their own mother prepared. My helper assisted and was very kind to my rudimentary culinary skills. The husband, granny and kids were also very merciful. My granny complimented on my chicken balls though! :)



We trodded off to the zoo on Friday, much to the dismay of my bro and gf coz they wanted to take the kids there, but on Sat. Abby had been looking forward to the trip and due to some miscommunication on my part, we went on Friday instead of Saturday. We wanted to cover Bird Park also, so one on fri, and one on sat. But bro insisted on taking them to the zoo on sat. We offered to go again on Sat coz we bought the Zoo Pass but they didn't want to. We hit the zoo close to 4 and walked till 6. For the first time, we walked without the map. And for the first time, I saw so many parts of the zoo I had never seen before. I used up so many packets of tissue paper that I lost count, and definitely took notice of the bins in the zoo. I died at bedtime. I was so feverish that I was feeling really cold and shivering. Then we prayed and Ben got me two Panadol cold relief tablets. I could not take the air-conditioning so Ben chose not to sleep in the oven with me. The amazing thing was, before he was sound asleep, I woke him up to say that I was fine already. No longer cold, in fact feeling very hot and perspiring! It was really fast! I didn't keep track of the duration, but it was really fast.

We dug up some old photos and were amazed by what we saw. Check them out.

The Boys



Cute right? :) Pity Ben's second photo is slightly damaged. :(

We missed out taking quite a bit of photos. So must be more religious in doing so. Otherwise time will pass too quickly. Anyway, I'm just really glad for this window of opportunity for the family to enjoy one another. It really makes me appreciative of little things like this. Pity that boundaries have to be so clearly stated in the face instead of knowing what to do at the appropriate time. As such, feelings may be soured. I've also learnt that I can't control her mouth - with me and with others, but I can control my words and actions. I always try to be nice to her, not that I am hypocritical, but in the hope that by being nice to her, I can generate positive feelings within myself instead of feeling negative (and showing it) whenever she's here. Sometimes she's nice. But most importantly, I always have to remember that she's my kids' granny. Likewise, I am their mother. She isn't. I need to remember that.

These are a few of my favourite things...

Read my VisualDNA™     Get your own VisualDNA™