Flying Thoughts

Playing the role of a homemaker these few days has knocked my breath out, especially with Shalom sick again. Also, with the setting of the P5EM3 SA2 paper at the back of my mind (vetting on the Wed of the first week when school reopens!!) it's been challenging. I've bonded really well with the kids, and Abby's whining less.

But...

MIL and helper has been coming over since Wednesday because Shalom was falling ill - difficult to take care of one fussy and sick kid and the other one wanting a playmate all the time - and I can't say it's been easier. For one, when we play, I try to get the kids to pack before moving on to something else. But with the other adult around who's also pullling things out and wanting to do something with them and then abandoning it halfway (like pulling out Abby's PJs and wanting to go through them to see which are too small in the midst of their winding down period which is usually a mad time) it's been messy.

Really messy.

But the most frustrating - is the part where she's screaming at the maid so often. And I can tell that the poor maid really can't understand bahasa malayu because she's indonesian, and my MIL keeps raising her voice in frustration in an effort to EXPLAIN CLEARER to the maid. Doesn't she understand that BY SPEAKING LOUDER IN A LANGUAGE SOMEONE ELSE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WILL NOT MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND ANY BETTER?

Try loud Hainanese with a non-Hainanese Chinese speaker.

Sigh.

Another trivial incident - wanted to give Shalom medication. Bottle said "3q of a teaspoon". Standard teaspoon is 5ml, so mathematically it is 3.75ml right? Nooo... MIL's logic - must use the teaspoon given by clinic and get 3/4 (mind you, the base of the teaspoon has less surface area than the top) because 3/4 of a teaspoon is less than 3.75ml using a syringe. "3.75ml too much. 3/4 teaspoon ok!" argh.

I tried explaining to her.
Me: Three quarters of a teaspoon is 3.75ml.
She: No, the syringe too much. I feel that the spoon just nice.
Me: You see, half of 5ml is 2.5 right?
She: ...
Me: and half of 2.5 is 1.25 right?
She:...
Me: Add 1.25 and 2.5 up that's 3/4 of 5ml.
(As I'm blogging this I think I should have just saved my breath.)
She: No, I think too much. 3/4 of teaspoon just nice.
Me: (knock head on wall)

I even showed her. I used water in a syringe and placed 5ml onto the teaspoon given by clinic. I proved it to her. But still. No no. Cannot.

This kind, if my Science student, I die.

Sigh.

Camp's coming up next week. On the final night of the camp, we're supposed to dress up and "Live our Dreams". What's my dream? I've been asking myself. A businesswoman? Nah. A librarian? Maybe. But I see myself carrying two kids, in charge of the household and homeschooling them.

And through these few days, I realised that I need household help to be able to homeschool them effectively. Otherwise they'll just end up learning how to do the housework for 6 years. Not very good for a homeschooling syllabus.

I need to get in touch with myself once again. To get alone and gather my thoughts. Ben's been far too busy and I'm all alone in this no-Lina period. He does try to help but I can tell it's really stretching him. Work's just cruel to him. I think he's really missing out on the kids' childhood at the rate he's working. I'm sure there are those jobs which do actually knock off at 5. Shan't say too much about his work, lest he gets into trouble.

As for myself, from next term onwards, I want to work decent hours instead of 7 to 7. I hope to leave at 4 and spend time with the kids, despite the messy house and noisy environment. Blardy frustrating.