In loving memory of Ong Bee Ling

We'll miss you, Ling...

The funeral will be held on Monday, at Kampong Arang. Please keep praying for Wei-En and family.

Closure

Her body's been found. After 4 days. At least we know what has happened. In a way. Please pray for my aunt's family who's stuck in sweden coz there aren't any train tickets to the airport to take a flight back for the funeral. Thanks.

Also, please contribute any useful items - clothes, sandals, shoes, disposable syringes, milk bottles, milk powder, surgical masks, medicine, antiseptic lotion/wash, biscuits, blankets, water purification tablets etc to the agencies who are publicising their efforts now. Oh. Best to donate money.

Christmas Tragedy

My deepest condolences go out to the families and friends who have been affected by the recent earthquake that struck off the coast of Sumatra triggering tsunami waves that terrorises Sri Lanka, India, Maldives, Myanmar, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Thailand and Malaysia.

Some friends saw on yesterday's news that a 3yo boy, Tan Wei En, was rescued by a tour guide. His father is also safe. Wei En's mother, 42yo Ong Bee Ling, whom we affectionately call Ah-Leng, is still missing.



Her parents have just flown over to Thailand to wait for the latest news. Let's just pray that it's just due to the chaos that the family has just been temporarily separated. This family's my third aunt's (the one who went to Sweden recently) in-laws.

Please pray for the family. Thanks.

Also, please donate to:
Doctors Without Borders
Mercy Corps
Red Cross Society
Mercy Relief
to help the victims & survivors.

It's Christmas!

This year's Christmas has been different. Last year, when I was pregnant with Abby, I thought how it'd be like with her this Christmas. Well, I've experienced it, and it's been the most delightful! :D Although she's totally terrified of my grandma (still), she's a total cutie. :D

This morning she was making sucking sounds... not the normal kind, but the breastfeeding sucking kind. It's kinda different, like you're sucking your tongue. So I asked her if she'd teach other babies how to suckle so that they'll be round round cute cute like her! And she laughed! This carried on for quite a while and she taught her pet teddy/dog how to do it!! Heh! Okie, it takes a bit of imagination, but there really was a decent conversation going on! :D Later she woke her dad up intentionally coz we had to get ready for cell luncheon celebration. It was a great Christmas morning! :D

Well, as for last nite, it was a strange nite. We were at my dad's side for celebration and bro, ben and I felt that one of my uncles had changed for the better... until i heard this evening that he actually announced to the crowd that everyone could only take a packet drink and have it labeled WITH THEIR NAMES so that there won't be 'numerous' half-consumed packet drinks lying all over the place, like last year's party. Well... He's *still* stingy. :P BTW, his annual income is about 100 beginning teachers' salary... not much hor? :P And when it was gift exchange time, his wife opened up a package (we're still speculating who bought her the bag - him or his in-laws). It was in a black paper bag. Within the black paper bag contained a soft black bag... u know those types that sell for $8 on Y! Auctions? Heh. ;) Yah, that soft black bag that's worth at least $8 that holds a cream and beige leather bag rumoured to be about $6k apparently. (What kinda cows do they use man?!?) From G U C C I. Of course. :P


"Wah... very ah mah hor?" comments his wife when she opens the package.

Should have just given her the $8 bag. At least it bears the brand and doesn't look ah mah.

Note: I've checked. It's US$625. Don't ask what we gave them this Christmas. Heh. :P

A Realisation and A Confession

Yesterday's blog has been posted after much hesitation. I'm glad I hesitated. Because I did, Ben and I came to a realisation regarding the person I had some issues with.

Well. Yesterday Ben and this person had a discussion. A loong discussion. From about 1pm to dinner time. After dinner, I asked Ben - do you find yourself repeating the same things over and over to her again? After some clarification of my question, he said No. That today's topics/issues were totally different and he went on to elaborate what they spoke about. In conclusion, he said his energy bar went up after talking to this person. Wow. The last time I remember, after talking to this person (one session after about a year of no in-depth conversation), I was TOTALLY DRAINED. SQUEEZED DRY. Exhausted like many others before me. The temptation to condemn had been so great because nothing had changed. Nothing was done.

But when Ben elaborated on their conversation, something struck me. During the last session, Ben said that whatever I had said just flew over his head. He didn't understand most of what I had said to this person. I assumed this person understood. Then I realised. The big realisation. I HAD BEEN SPEAKING GREEK.

Seriously. Ben has this uncanny ability to talk to children and youth. He is able to relate to them at such a level that it's just purely amazing. I've never seen anyone connect with them at a level like he does. And because they connected yesterday, he was recharged. I was drained because all the passion and heart I put into speaking to this person went unheard. Not because this person didn't want to hear. Just because I was speaking a different language from this person. Ben thought I had given up hope on this person. I haven't. Never. My desire for this person is to grow up into a well-adjusted adult amidst the difficult and confusing circumstances that this person has been placed in. But because I've been so exhausted - totally dry - I sounded like I had totally given up hope and had conveniently condemned this person, like how many others had.

So I explained to Ben what I realised, and he saw it as well. It can be really exhausting when after numerous hours of heart-to-heart talk, no change is made. And on the receipient's end, I haven't contributed much... or helped much. Simply because communication is so distorted!! The heart's desire is there, but communication has to be worked on. After explaining, Ben understood the exhaustion that comes from being disconnected. So many years already, now then the realisation sets in. But thank God it's still early, for there's a long way more to go. Now we tango. I continue speaking my Greek while Ben will explain what I'm saying to this person. For I supposedly provide Ben with the main points to expand on. Wow. :)


Okie. Confession time. Today's the day. I'm a die hard Stephen Chow fan. Even though I hardly laugh at his jokes, I really appreciate his humour. Takes the stress of my life. :P It's KUNG FU HUSTLE TIME!! :D

More random thoughts...

The newspapers don't really bear good news. Cyclist gets pinned under wheel of bus. Maid throws 5 month old baby down and jumps to her death after being reprimanded by Grandfather. When Ben goes out for his midnight cycling, I can't help but worry. Until he returns home safe and sound. I'd jolt out of bed suddenly to make sure that he's back in bed before I fall back to sleep again.

Approaching 2005 with a heavy heart, yet gearing to go. School is starting. I've always liked school. I'm one of those crazy ones who'd buy tons of assessment books and do before the school term starts. Well. I still enjoy it actually. Now school's slightly different. Just churned out my almost personalised timetable FOR THE THIRD TIME. THE PEOPLE AT NIE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN KEEP UPDATING THE BLARDY TIMETABLE!

I'm not sure how I'm going to juggle 2005 and beyond. I'm not sure how Ben's gonna juggle either. Work. Studies. Relationships. Ministry. It's all coming at once. Wow. Can you feel the wind yet?

Ben and I had a serious conversation regarding a person we've been helping for a couple of years. I think I'm just quite tired saying the same things over and over again. Also very wary of the person being dependent on us. But more so, I think all this talk, if they were supposedly so effective, this person would've moved on. The fact of the matter is - one year later, things are still the same. So many people are already helping this person. We're all doing the same thing. We all want to help this person. Yet, running in circles is really very tiring. I'm tired. I've had so many 'cold wars' with this person I've stopped counting. Things are not healthy. They are not right. Within me I just want to be totally honest. Yet I know when I am 'honest', I am deemed as harsh and not caring. Then the person will go elsewhere looking for comfort and tlc. Well. I cannot provide that kind of motherly/sisterly love that the person is looking for. I am not this person's SAVIOUR. And I never will be. Because of the background, many have attempted to save this person. Yet, we can take one out of Egypt, but we can't take the Egypt out of one. I don't wish to condemn, for I have once been condemned. I just wish this person well, and I can no longer help this person. For I am totally exhausted. I am zapped.

So Many Thoughts, So Little Time

~ Life has been so busy!!! Abby's been having diarrhoea and the gas from undigested milk that's stuck in her digestive tract apparently is causing quite a bit of problems. Pray that she gets better.

~ Now (still) revamping Ben's old room! :D It's become a 'sort-of' office, when things settle, I'll post some pictures up!

~ I've sold TWO items on Yahoo Auctions! Will be taking more photos of items and posting them up and getting my allowance from here as I clear the things I no longer need! :)

~ Christmas @ Orchard parade is on this Sunday! :D Oh, that's tomorrow! This year, celebrations along Orchard will be hosted by the churches in Singapore. Pray that the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ be reached in the hearts of the people! :)

~ NIE registration's taking place this Monday.

~ Thinking about how to continue breastfeeding when I go back to school. NIE is NOT pro-breastfeeding definitely.

~ Still thinking about how to clear my junk...

~ Shopping online is exciting! Especially when I find items that are pre-owned in a fantastic condition at a steal!

~ How ON EARTH DID I STUDY during my Dip Ed years? Gosh, the amount of notes I have is amazing... And some have gone missing! >(

~ Need to go continue packing. It's been draggin too long.

~ Spent Thursday re-hauling Eve's room so that Vic will finally be able to snooze with her! :D She really threw away ALOT OF things! :O FOUR BAGS of rubbish from 1 bedroom! Wow. She's inspiring - I'm going back to throw away more stuff...

FACTS

Just visited this site, an online petition site against casino idea in Singapore. Well. What can I say? My family has been torn apart by gambling. Not just the usual tale. My dad has been blacklisted by most of the casinos in the world apparently. It's just that bad. Well. Broken family. Bankruptcy. Fatherless children. And the government wants to go ahead because of the 'gaming duties' they can collect. Newspapers report that they already collect $1.3billion in revenue from other resources - 4D, toto etc. Well. If Singaporeans are throwing their money elsewhere, why not collect it? But don't they realise that more people will throw their money away? We're talking about - retirees with their retirement fund, college students with their university fund, young working adults with fresh salaries, mothers with their allowances... and not including working businessmen who claim that they go casinos for BUSINESS PURPOSES. Yah. Right.

Just a fact. When my dad was gambling for business purposes at home, they used to open up 2 mahjong tables. His regular kakis was Mr Lim, his wife, his mistress, (sometimes both), and some other friends. And my parents *cannot* lose to Mr Lim. Or else he'd fret and throw tantrums. Yup. A 30plus man throwing tantrum. Someone the size of Moses Lim throwing tantrums. So each night my parents would lose at least a thousand dollars, and if they are brave enough, they'd win abit. BUT. Mr Lim would then decide NOT to buy insurance from my dad. Multiply a thousand a night by at least 3-4 times weekly, by 52 weeks a year, and that's quite a lot of money gone. And not forgetting the $2 million debt.

Sigh. It's all about him again. Dowan to bitch about him anymore. What's done is done. Just don't want to see another family ruined because of gambling. That's all.

Sick

Have been getting chills. Feel sick. No time to blog. Rehauling study room. Shiok. Incoherent. Melissa's (brudder's gf) birthday just passed. Missed Presiding Officer's training today at MOE. Too sick to go. Missed wedding dinner. Still too sick to go. Blogging in a half-way set up study with stuff all over the place. Check out my Yahoo! Auctions k? Contribute to the HAFA Fund! (Help Audrey Feed Abigail Fund!) Heh. :)

A very touching story

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want to divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?". "I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!"

At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember". "You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other like strangers. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.

I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now."

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."

I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our lives lacked such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious."

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."

Quickie

A quick blog and I'll run (off to the bed to catch up on my sleep)! It's been exactly FIVE years (05.12.99) since Ben & I first Pak-Tored, and we had a very interesting celebration. So much details, but in essence, I'm really glad he persisted in believing in me even though during a certain pre-marital period I had hurt him real badly. Melted my heart so many times tonite. We had a great heart-to-heart talk about how lives, about how much God has changed us, and about what we believe about and in other people.

I'm really glad that he is a buddy I can openly share anything with. Also, he's still free to do whatever he wants. (It's 2.42am on Monday morning and he's gone cycling! :D) I'm still dizzy from our conversation. :)

Mum took care of Abby tonite(!). It's her first and she beat around a big bush before i managed to probe her real intention. Ben & I went for Meiyin & Siew Fai's wedding service. So sweet! :D Enjoyed it very much. Met up with a couple of NIE friends. Was just sharing with Ben that I'm really glad Jeremiah is such a good friend. If not I think there'll be many days I would have shed buckets of tears and not want to go to school because, simply put, I don't make people comfortable around me. Well well. Thank God for him. Praise God. He's a real good friend. And I'm glad Ben & Jeremiah finally met tonite. It's been more than 2 years. I've been constantly talking about the both of them to each other but they've NEVER met. So it's been my desire to have them meet. (It's not v nice to talk about another guy to ur hubby u know...) Ben agrees that Jer's a really nice guy! :D

Ben & Siew Fai also hit off really well! They both like torchlights and mobile phones, so they're instant best buddies! For a moment (a long time ago), Meiyin & I thought they were both the same person! :O Ok, abit exaggerated. Maybe twin brothers...? Heh. We've self-invited ourselves to their place so that Ben can ogle at Siew Fai's collection! :D And I can go yak with Meiyin! :D Thank God for her too! She's been an angel at NIE during my down days there. :D

Okie, gotta go. :D will blog again soon.

RECRUIT ABBY REPORTING SIR!

Abby's 4mths old today

Hullo world! I'm 4 months old today! I'm starting on my fifth month, and life has been a happy one so far! Except when I bonked my head on the horn of the steering wheel in my daddy's car and when I can't seem to recognise my surroundings (this started at uncle reno's house and most recently, at my granny's place) and yelled really loudly (i've got POWERFUL lungs!), I've been really happy! :)

I wake up gurgling and sucking my wrist coz it's really yummy, but I really think it's because I'm hungry. Mummy says that the PD says that I'm almost overweight, but I can't seem to sleep well unless I eat properly! Mummy says since i'm four months old already, I'm ready to start solids! Hooray! :D

Mummy has thrown away the growth development chart already and she dussen use it anymore. Daddy says that I should develop at my own pace unless the doctor says otherwise. That's when I'm in trouble. :P I still dowan to do turn or do mini-pushups when I'm on my belly! :P I just lie there and struggle... mummy says i used to fall asleep pretty quicky when she puts me on my belly, but she stopped because my skin started getting rashes from my saliva! So now she puts me on my back, and i also fall asleep very very quickly! Grandma says I'm a very good baby and keeps asking daddy and mummy to have more of me! But I'm special! :D I think I'll teach all my di-dis and mei-meis to do the same! *chuckle*

I like to laugh out loud and thrill my grandma because she's very easily excitable! Auntie Huiying says that she can hear my voice from downstairs and it sounds like a toddler! (Mummy, wat's a toddler?)

Okie, mummy says I need to sleep already. It's naptime, hooray! :D

Love, hugs & kisses,
Abby baby!

Newsflash

I caught the flu bug.

Abby's happier than ever.

Taufik won the Singapore IDOL!!! YesH!

Shaan's wedding

Ben's melbourne uni fren got married yesterday. It was held at Four Season's, with the most fantastic dessert I've ever had. :) It was the wedding cake, and boy was it FABULOUS!

Needless to say, we sat at table 16 - for the Melbourne University/Trinity College friends. Beside me was Claire Teo, an Associate working with MAS. She looked alot like Julia and Vaness's onscreen girlfriend in Meteor Garden. Very nice girl with regular concerns regarding marriage, children and just waiting for her partner to pop the question. Her partner looked like Kenny Bee. So strange. Next to him was Dr Ong or something, with his wife, Shirley. Strange thing was - she looked very familiar, but I still can't recall where I've seen her before. Very irritating feeling. We had an unoccupied seat which was frequently occupied by different people - there was Yining, who looked like Dorine, I think. But she also looked familiar. Then there was Daniel Heng. He lives at Jalan Hock Chye. We were trying to recall the street name - Chye something, Hock something - before the dinner. I realised it was Jalan Hock Chye. Then sudden it clicked as Ben was talking to him. Suddenly I erupted, "SYBIL HENG IS YOUR SISTER!" Hahah... I was so strange. And he went - Yah. She just delivered a couple of days ago. Sybil was my secondary school classmate. Co-netballer. And one of the last few we expected to get married. Well, she got married and is now a proud mother of a baby girl. Then there's Felix between Daniel and Ben.

Shaan flew in from Melbourne last Wednesday and put together a wedding with the help of her girlfriends. Michelle, a.k.a. Princess Lala, was her co-ordinator. She's is just simply amusing to watch. Totally kan cheong spider and gets upset really easy, she's just amusing lah.

Well, now to the story of the amazing cleavage. Told Ben I definitely had to blog about this.

I wore a black halter neck to the wedding, totally accessorised. My dress revealed a little cleavage at the start of the dinner. Midway, the cleavage was more pronounced. Finally, at the end of the dinner, I had quite a cleavage, thanks to breastfeeding. I took a risk and wore a strapless bra (Yah. that's a risk. so sad right? Risk because i may develop blocked ducts due to prolonged wearing.) So i wore wat i wore and by the time the dinner ended, Abby's food source was pretty filled and puffed up. Very strange occurence. All my life I've only encountered drooping cleavages... adjust bra before the dinner and have nice cleavage, then by the time the dinner ends, bra drops abit and cleavage also vapourises. Hahah... Think last nite's event must have gotten stares from breastmen (men who like breasts). They must be thinking - how come this cha-bor's cleavage is getting more and more as the night passes? Well, I dare you to come near and touch them. They'll explode in your face and shoot across the room. They are missiles in disguise my friend.

Well well. The joys of breastfeeding.

Tomorrow's the big day - Goodlife's second anniversary. They've got this grandparent-grandchild lookalike competition, and Eve & I - 2 ahsohs bearing Miss Singapore titles - have been helping these folks put together a show. Let's hope they have a great time tomorrow and not die of stage fright. :P

Nothing much to blog about...

Days have been passing back and like those slow mo effect where the centre character just goes slowly while the world whizzes pass? Yup, that's life right now. Too many things happening, but too tired to blog. In fact, the good thing out of all these events is that I'm spending more time with God, reading the bible and pumping milk.

Yup. I'm trying to get letdowns by staring hard at the breastpump and it's accessories. Boy it's hard work.

Let downs are a good thing. For those who aren't breastfeeding, letdown is a sensation probably never felt before in your breasts/chest. Intense pins & needles? Or like some books write, "a tingling sensation"? Let downs are a good thing because 1) you know that you're burning fat as you produce breastmilk 2) the baby has something to drink when you're not around to feed her 3) it's a rare phenonmenon.

Someone teach me how to get multiple letdowns.

As you can tell, I really have nothing much to blog about. Except that I'm going MAMMA MIA with ELISE TOMORROW!!! Very honoured to be her guest. :) Thanks dear! :D And that I'm teacing in the mornings. Yes. Being back in the classroom is a good feeling. Exciting! :D

Looking for this song

Come Holy Spirit
fall on me now
I need your anointing
come in your power

I love you Holy Spirit
you're captivating my soul
and everyday
I grow to love you mor

.::ChOrus::.
I'm reaching for your heart
you hold my life in your hands
drawing me closer to you
i feel your power renew
nothing compares to this place
where i can see you face to face
anoint me Lord
in spirit and in truth

Hari Raya Celebration

Went to aunt michelle's place with Eve & Vic on Monday. She invited them coz she had been wanting to visit them but couldn't find the time. Also, Her heavenly culinary skills tipped the choice towards her side - that is, going to her place instead and pigging out! :D It was really mothers-at-work. Breastfeeding, feeding Mattie, changing diapers, trigger happy mummies snapping shots of the 2 princesses. But, see, there's a problem. It isn't really very advisable to use flash, so we had to have really steady hands and the subjects, i.e. babies, had to stay really still. (Yeah, right.)

When we first starting shooting, both of them were really excited! Smiles were abundant, poses were frequent and both looking at the photographer! But because there were movements, there weren't any good shots. Only when after the excitement died down could we get a decent shot of the both of them.



Well. As you can possibly tell, the excitement had died down, so they could keep still to take the shot. Sigh.

Ex-bimbo?

The power of the media. First, the line up of the nominated MPs - and Eunice Olsen is included in the 9. Well, the government wants 'fresh blood', and her blood's in her line up. She appears amongst executive chairpeople, lecturers, and 'successful' people in 'Ex-beauty queen in new line-up of NMPs' (Nov 13, 2004 Straits Times) (have to login in to read story I think). After reading today's article in The Sunday Times first, then yesterday's, I can't help but feel that her title is a hinderance to her. In the Nov 13's line up, it goes like this:

Mr Alex Chan Meng Wah, Executive Director, MMI Holdings
Dr Geh Min, Nature society president, Environmentalist
Mr Lawrence Leow Chin Hin, Executive Chairman, Cresendas Group
Dr Loo Choon Yong, Executive Chairman, Raffles Medical Group
Ms Eunice Elizabeth Olsen, Former co-host Wheel of Fortune
Ms Ong Soh Khim, Asst Prof, Mechanical Engineering Dept, NUS
Prof Ivan Png Paak Liang, Dept of Information Systems and Dept of Business Policy, NUS
Dr Tan Sze Wee, Managing Director Rockeby Biomed Corporation Ltd
Mr Teo Yock Ngee, General Secretary Amalgamated Union of Public Employees.

She's a political science and philosophy graduate. She volunteers 'one third' of her time... hmmm... 8 hrs a day?... with trouble youth etc. She's a former title holder. And co-host on the Wheel of Fortune. And the media chooses to focus on the most newsworthy angle - the Alphabet Flipper. Hmm. Maybe it's to do with the international fame of the programme. Maybe it's got something to do with Vanna White's 5 to 6 figure dresses she wears everyday on the show. Maybe it's got nothing to do with any of these at all... but just a weak attempt by the media to hit below the belt. If the paper wasn't that regulated by the government, they'd have put 'hotel pianist' as her description under her pretty photo. This only goes to show the level of respect the newspaper has for the youth that has been chosen to represent the youth of today. As expected, the next day, the newspaper runs a full-length article on her to put her on the showcase and let everyone come to their conclusion. With such an interesting headline that says "Who says an ex-beauty queen can't be an NMP?", some may say 'yes', others may say 'no', while my relative of mine comments, "Who says she can?" with such cynicism that smarts the eyes.

Being politically correct (no pun intended), I'd say this is the time to hone her potential and demonstrate to the rest of the world what she is made of. She has to overcome the treacherous stereotype the title has cast on her. If not, the stereotype is tragically further reinforced. She's got a tough journey ahead. For her views to be heard, she's gotta do more than just offer a couple of hours to community service. (I know of a couple of youths who are doing more community service work than her.) True, not many titleholders are able to do that, but her resume needs to be way more impressive for people to pay attention to her. Being a title-holder with a pretty face and a megawatt smile is not going to do the trick. Brigette Ow (Mrs S'pore Int'l 1998), who works with Eunice, has my respect though. She lost her husband to cancer recently and set up a relatives of cancer victims support group. (But then again, I don't really know much about the support group. It could simply be a yahoogroups thingey.)

I've learnt that these portfolios are just a facade. For instance, recently I was roped in to organise a fashion show for the elderly. I further roped Eve in coz I knew this was different from the last time, which was for the elderly only. This time, it's gramps and kids. Just a couple of hours of work and we're done. But that could also be termed as community work with the elderly and children, isn't it? Not Mother Theresa material, and honestly, I don't even think it's worth mentioning in any resume.

People only see with their physical eyes, but not their hearts. All the facades blind people. That's why I HATE to talk about 1997. Only after a long time when people get to really know me, then I am less anal if they find out about my deep dark secret. If people do find out before they know me sufficiently well, surely enough, "BIMBO" will automatically be carved on my forehead - Ally McBeal style.

I was just reflecting: imagine the headline - Paradox: Ex-beauty queen awarded Valedictorian". Then they'll think - gosh, either the whole cohort hasn't been working, or more naturally, the ex-beauty queen slept with the dean! Sigh. I wonder who the real bimbos and himbos are. Just wondering, if I had gone up stage as a valedictorian and was introduced as an ex-Miss Singapore, I wonder how insulted the rest of the cohort would feel. That would illustrate how intense the stereotype of this bloody title is.

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PDFers & Em2lites

Met up with the other PDF parents today. It was a great gathering... really enjoyed the sharings and dun really feel so alone in this entire parenting discipline. Blanca mentioned that the mum must be really determined, or failure rate will be really high. I think it's quite an amazing gathering. There were 3 3-month old babies (Abigail 2nd August, Joan 14 August & Daniel 9 August), and one 11-month old Noel. And all 10 adults still managed to sit at the table to have jolly good conversations!!! The 3 babies are on a similar cycle, so all slept at & for about the same time... fed Abby at 1pm but she was really tired coz she was up from about 12, so she koed at 1.30pm in the car seat while Joan and Daniel also koed around the same time (both of them sleep on their tummies.) Joan was awake most of the time while during the 'Sleep' part of the routine, but she was left on her own. She was crying on and off but Abby just slept through... Daniel too! As for the 11month old Noel, he was with the adults coz his wake time was longer, but he sat really well in the high chair! Just as we have been advised to teach our babies - hands by the side, no struggling!

Jessica (Noel's mum), shared about how she went out with her friend with a 15mth old son who had to be entertained by many objects during feeding time and how the mum and Jessica herself couldn't eat WHEN the toddler was eating or else he'd want their food. That boy's mealtimes were also very unpredictable - lunch can range from 10am to 2pm. So Jess fed Noel in less than 15min while her friend took a long time! The friend, because she had run out of things to entertain her son, gave him her lipstick, and guess what - he opened it and stuck his finger inside and ruined it! That's 'normal' for Jessica's friend's life.

Our group also discussed about how PDF is really frowned upon by tonnes of people. It's really controversial. Type 'Gary Ezzo' and you will hardly find any good thing regarding it. However, we the 'converts' are really glad that we've been exposed to it coz we see results which are pretty unheard of. A 3month old baby that sleeps from 7pm to 7am? But we all agreed that the mummy must be really strong and be able to face up to criticisms. We also noticed that the Ezzo underlying principle is supported (usually) by SAHM (stay at home mothers) which subsequently lead to homeschooling.

Well, our instructors has just given birth to their SIXTH child. All PDF babies and their schoolage kids are being homeschooled by their mother. *kowtow* Apparently, Gary & Anne Marie Ezzo personally visited Petrina and Seng Kiat (our instructors) and are in pretty close contact with them. Hmm. The group also talked about their kids - all very well-behaved. Ben (Glen's husband) shared about how the children, when their mum comes out and claps 3 times - all put back their toys promptly. The kids all have their own temperaments, but all are very well behaved. The third one - about 5-7yo - cleans up the table after dinner. All the kids do housework! (Except those who can't walk yet.) It's an incredible household. Petrina's really a Proverbs 31 woman.

And they have no maid.

Alvin was sharing about how he once casually asked one of the kids (while he was having his dinner at their table) whether she had her dinner. She refused to answer. Cuiling (one of our course helpers with no. 3 on the way) told Petrina when the mummy walked past that her girl had ignored Alvin. Petrina then held her daughter's face very firmly and faced it towards Alvin and made her respond. Gosh. Very strict. But the children all love her. Alvin also shared that when the cell gathered to pray for Pet, all the kids went and hugged their mum. We've seen their kids... really very wholesome! Unlike the kids ben & i have seen.

Am really very encouraged after today's outing. Sometimes when what I do seems so different from the rest of the world and the world doesn't really see eye to eye with it, I can get quite discouraged. But when I gather with like-minded people, it is rejuvenating. Really look forward to such meetings in future. :)

~~~

Last nite, the em2lites went for block 85 bak chor mee after cell. It was really fun! Oh, and we saw Maia Lee. Tattoos all over. Hahah... I saw her back, didn't need to see her face to recognise her. Poor thing. Even go eat BCM also gotta dress up. Andrew and Charlotte shared their testimony of how God provided great weather for them. Roland and Chellie were going fishing this morning. Min's going Vietnam - mission trip. (But she was down today, big time! Must pray for her!) Edna was organising an outing this evening. 6 of them went. We stayed at home instead. There's wedding lunch tomorrow. Such a strange date - It's a working day for those who did not take leave.

Cell was short and sweet yesterday. Wat impacted most was Roland's sharing about the Holy Spirit. Jesus told his disciples - prior to his ascension - that they'll receive the Holy Spirit, and then go make disciples. (Acts 1:8) When Roland's feeling really down, he shares with people about Jesus. He liken it to Lupin's favourite activity - computer gaming. When Lupin is not allowed to play on the computer, he feels down. But when he's allowed, his spirit is uplifted and he is happy. Likewise, according to Acts 1:8, the Holy Spirit is given to us to empower us to make disciples for Jesus. But when we don't, we grieve the Holy Spirit, so to speak. But when He is allowed His favourite activity, He is no longer grieved, and our spirits likewise is uplifted. (Of course, when we defile our bodies, we grieve Him as well.) I appreciated what he shared. So often, we're so self-absorbed and self-centred that we fail to recognise that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit and it is He that works in us. When we swear, smoke or have unclean thoughts, it affects Him. Tall order to live a godly life, but I'm glad God is the one doing the work and I am called to obey. So whenever I'm tempted, I sense His prompting and make the choice to either obey or otherwise. Well, i'm still work in progress and I'm glad I'm so, if not i'll be dead. :) Heh. The thing I've learnt is - when I obey His prompting, the next time He prompts, He becomes 'louder' and I am more sensitive. The opposite also holds true. When I ignore His prompt, the next time, His voice gets softer until it is barely audible. Simply because our own voice overrides His. We become too self-absorbed in hearing our thoughts, our emotions, and our self-justifications. We ought to quieten our defenses and just listen to His voice. :)

Amore

Wat a day. Because I had a spa appointment at Amore (got the spa package for $57!), travel arrangements had to be made to ship me out of the house. Major booboo, and my SIL got a scolding from my MIL. :( Next time, better communication, lesser assumption.

Finally, Ben sent me there. There was an erratic driver in a blue van next to us who threatened to knock down a girl, and crash into our car. Unfortunately, as I got out of the car, yet to close the passenger door, Ben reversed to avoid the van, and almost knocked me down with the open door instead. I almost died. But I didn't have any flashback of life events, so I knew my time wasn't up yet. Instead scenes of a program, "What went wrong?", flashed across my mind. It was of an elderly woman who was stopped by the police. She stopped on a descending slope and put her car in neutral instead of park. She got out of the car (releasing the foot brake in the process) and the car started rolling and dragged her down. The car ran over her shoulder. All these caught on the police tape and reeled in my head. Scary.

Went to the spa and was greeted by a stern looking supposedly savvy looking auntie with straight fringe and funky eyeglasses. She showed me to my locker, gave me my towel, robe and slippers and waited for me as I changed out from my clothes. I asked for the bin to dispose of my breastpads (yes, breastfeeding makes u leak elsewhere) and she was quite kancheong coz she thought I was menstruating, thus I would dirty the entire spa. :P And that place has only ONE bin. Irritating. After that, she asked me to take my own sweet time to take a shower, which I did. And she waited outside. Like a principal u know?

When I emerged from my shower, she showed me to the 'Steambath' which effectively is the sauna. Well, I was a li'l puzzled when i was released into the room. Was I supposed to be butt naked because it's a steambath, or like a sauna, modestly robed in a towel? I chose the latter, and took a steambath in my towel. It took a loooong time, and I was starting to wonder if they were going to get me or I was supposed to end it on my own...

They got me. Another lady, (she really resembles this actress who co-starred with Chow Yun Fatt - the actress had supernatural powers - te yi kong neng - and could pass a ring through a wall... small eyes, anyone knows who this actress is?), called for me, auntie style also, and directed me to the 'Hydrobath', which effectively is a bathtub with jets. As I descended, my mind was thinking - my SIL has this at home... :P

Spent good time with God though, and thought about a few things. :) Other than that, I waited patiently for my Aromatherapy massage. It was good... strong strokes, and no conversation. Just the way I like it :), unlike the St. Gregory's Spa experience.

After the massage, I got up and realised that my masseur was pregnant. SIX MONTHS PREGNANT. If I had notice she was pregnant, I don't think I would have enjoyed the experience at all! Instead, I would have been so worried for her climbing all over me! Gosh! I was really very impressed!

After changing, the package talk started as I drank my tea. I managed to piss the principal-looking-savvy-ah-soh-with-straight-fringe-and-funky-eyeglasses off with 'no I've no pay/no credit card/trying another company (shouldn't have said that).' She got really peeved, and I got away with $880 in my pocket, unscathed. :D

HY picked me up and I gobbled my sandwich on the way to Jazz for Beginners (or Idiots/Dummies rather) at Bugis Amore. Abit like my Jazz ballet class, but more contemporary. I enjoyed it even though my big left toe gave me problems due to my cuticle, but nevertheless I still enjoyed it tremendously. But I'll be alone, coz HY didn't really enjoy herself. :P Well, at the rate I'm going, I'm going to max out my lessons really soon! Minimum going for classes at a rate of twice per week, i think this will be the first time I'll use ALL the lessons! :D Yesh! :D

The Weekend

Abby (3mo 6days) is 7.14kg. That's 15 over pounds. That's heavy. She's only 3mths old. The pd mentioned that she'd be overweight soon if she continues to put on at that rate. Well, my objective is that she lasts more than 3hrs after each feed. She seems to like feeding alot.

Eve, Vic, Ben & I went for the Food Expo last saturday after a disappointing visit to the Grand Roxy Hotel at Marine Parade. Very disappointing. Supposed to be $17+++ per pax. Also, when I called in the afternoon, they said they were fully booked. Later when I called again to book for Sunday tea, they said we could just walk in. And after some confusion, I found out that we could walk in on Saturday evening itself! So we did. And we were truly disappointed. The spread was littleand I was thinking, if 3 of us ate, the $50 we would spend would get us ALOT OF good chocolate and Famous Amos elsewhere!!! So we politely declined and headed for the Singapore Expo where delicious food awaited us. Abby was at home asleep with granny while Vic was with us. Abby slept the whole time when we were out! From 6plus all the way to about 11! Granny's room must have been a nice place to snooze... :)

Randy came back from Tekong and is eagerly awaiting upgrading to a higher Pes status. He is bored stiff and was so close to tears because he could do the stuff the other fit guys were doing. He realises that he's been taking shit advice from people with less than positive attitudes and love to slack... hahah... am glad my bro wants to give his best. Mum & I are prepared also, and support him all the way. :)

Gave Ben a notebook... I love the cover!

"Nothing is more beautiful than the love that has weathered the storms of life."
-Jerome K Jerome

Last nite...

Ben's finally back from reservist! Yes! Many great things happened during this reservist - his safety, talking on the phone in the wee hours of the morning like silly teenagers in love and then refusing to put down the phone, rain (becoz of that, the exercise was called off and he could go back camp to charge his phone!!), my productivity boost (yeah! I'm back in business! No longer an ultra sluggish cow... heheh) and a renewed relationship! :D All that constant praying does wonders for the relationship I must say... each time I looked out the window and saw the heavy grey clouds, I would really pray for his safety, and also pray that there'll not be any freak lightnings in open ground. (My bro almost got hit once!)

Didn't watch Singapore Idol last nite, went out for dinner with Ben and Abby instead at Jack's Place. Ben was extremely disappointed with their level of professionalism and service. We were seated next to a serving station in a corner (thought we'd haf some privacy so I could nurse whenever) but to our disappointment, the auntie waitresses and manager was gossiping, talking pretty loudly, slamming drawers and making sure their cutlery clunked the loudest WHILE ABBY WAS ASLEEP. So after a very loud CLUNK, Abby woke up and we stared at the waitress. She came over and COOED at Abby, asking, "Oh, she woke up alredi uh? So cute hor, sleep how long alredi? Blah, blah, blah..." while we told her a couple of times it was SHE who woke the baby up, and that the baby was supposed to be ASLEEP. Gosh. Some people are just real dense. And we weren't smiling.

As for their gossiping, a non-Chinese manager had to come over, look them straight in the eye and say "Eh, no gossiping." The Chinese Gossiping Manager laughed, and the other Chinese Gossiping Waitress was like, "HARRH? What he say uh?" "No gossiping." "Gossiping? *Gibberish* *Gibberish* *Gibberish*" (In some Taiwanese/Chinese dialect.) It was indeed Jack's MisPlace and more of Jack's Taiwanese Restaurant.

I had venison medellion and some scallop thingey which looked suspiciously like mussels on scallop shell... well, I've seen scallops in their 'original packaging' before when I was in Australia, and last nite's dinner didn't resemble scallop one bit. :S Oh well...

So the feedback time came. We were pretty upset by the whole dining experience (they handled the billing badly too...) that we gave our feedback. While Ben was writing on the Comment Card, the Chinese Gossiping Manager tried to make amends but sarkaring* Ben. Well, For the comments section, he was pretty objective about it. I shan't comment about his comment any further. Hm.

Should've just gotten take-away and go home watch SI instead. :P Abby would've gotten better rest. Well, we kicked the dust off the sandals of our feet and vowed never to return to that outlet.

*Sarkaring means bootlicking

Psalm 23 (For the Work Place)

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without murmuring and complaining.
He reminds me that HE is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions that I might honor him in all that I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop------ for He is with me!

His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.
He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens to let me go.
His faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check.
His retirement plan beats every 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that,

I BLESS HIS NAME!

Quote of the Day

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children (or babies).

How true. :)

20 Questions to a Better Relationship

eXpressive: 6/10
Practical: 7/10
Physical: 2/10
Giver: 4/10


You are a XPIT--Expressive Practical Intellectual Taker. This makes you a Manager.

You are cool, thoughtful and intelligent. Your approach and your sense of humor are under-the-radar, your charm is undeniable. You keep everything under control. You have distinctive vocal mannerisms. You may not have much interest in approaching strangers, but when you do, you are successful.

You will probably end up with someone beautiful, fascinating and off-balance. While your partner may steal the limelight, it's you that keeps things running smoothly and provides stability in your relationship. If you are with someone as contemplative and hard-headed as you, you can have a tough time.

Your greatest asset is that you tackle conflict as it rises -- you don't ignore it and let it brew. If you have a partner that *does* let it brew, it will make you crazy! You can find yourself fighting for two -- trying to anticipate your partner's needs and draw their feelings out -- which is exhausting and, well, not your job.

You would never cheat. You would make an excellent spouse. When your spouse's friends met you, they would think, "Crap, why couldn't I get that one?"

Of the 146000 people who have taken this quiz, 6.2 % are this type.

Abby's 3mths old today

She's alredi 3 mths old! Vic's licking fingers, while Abby loves to slurp on her wrist! She looks like she's eating a drumstick! Well, our chicken drumstick girl posed for this photo to show daddy that she's wearing what he bought in JKT. :)

Today we had our usual routine - drop Lina at mum's place, go Breakthru for foot massage with Choo E2 and Ryan, go grab lunch, go E2's house makan and feed Abby, fall asleep there, then go mum's place for dinner. Except tat Benji wasn't around. :'( Missed his call!! Argh. But he knew I'd feel rather bang, so he massaged me saying that he'll call later. :)

Abby got pretty traumatised today though. Her cousin Ryan patted her. Usually it isn't that traumatising, but when she's patted ON THE FACE, well, it's a different matter all together. So she wailed. And wailed. My poor baby. My aunt picked her up after that. The massage was finishing, so I thought let the fella finish first then I go pick her up. Then she cried and cried. And then she calmed down considerably. When my massage finished, I took over from my aunt and Abby complained to me!! She started crying again. And went on for quite awhile! But after that, she fell asleep in my arms. Happy that her mummy knows the trauma she just went through.

Well, I'm not supposed to be online too much coz I'm not very productive elsewhere as I spend most of my time reading online stuff. I need to be more selective now, and read material that is uplifting. :) If not, everyone's moods get affected. It's not fair to the people around me. :)

Mmm. Marshmallows in hot milo is delicious. :D

Well, I need to backup the material I've written online esp regarding Abby and present it to her when she's older. This mummy wants to keep a journal for her, but I prefer typing than writing. Terrible hor? :P

Today, she vocalised some words, amongst her Ahhhs! and smilely sighs. When my mum was asking me if I wanted to stay overnight at her place or go home, at that point, Abby let out a very loud "Doh Wan!" Mummy n i just stared at each other and laughed! We were so astonished! Later I asked mum if she could ask Lina if she wanted to attend our church's Bahasa service, then mum commented that Lina's reading of the bible is better than some of her students in Sawang, Indonesia. She later said that their standard is similar to her reading the Bahasa bible -then she asked a rhetorical question - ni shou hao bu hao? - (u say good or not?) and at that point, Abby let out a "HAO!"

Wah.

Birdy Park?

I just found out that Birdy is short for Abigail! Anyway, we were supposed to go Bird Park today. But because of bad weather, we stayed at Bugis Junction and then went to Suntec Carrefour. Gosh. I'm defintely a bargain hunter. And there isn't any in Carrefour. :P Dove Shampoo/Conditioner $12.20 at Carrefour, but $7.10 at Swanston. FOR THE EXACT SAME THING. I dun care if I"m auntie - with this discount, i can do more things with my $$!

I'm glad we had a family day today. It's been awhile - most outings have been functional - get stuff, fill stomach, fill petrol, etc. Yup, we're together, but it's just different. U know, when people say - they suddenly wake up one morning and find themselves waking up to a stranger? That phenomenon happens when people simply exist together, but they cease to know each other. Knowing each other requires effort - and disarming 'landmines'. This is not tosay that Ben & I dun spend time with each other - but when extra effort is involved - a special day set aside, a special hour, or even simply half hour, and then we just pay attention to each other - to his & her needs - the relationship is refreshed. :)

Watched Singapore Idol. Was glad that Chris is out - the competition finally begins - sorta. But when I saw Olinda cry over his departure, I realised that this is not only a competition. I was reminded of my pageant days. To the audience, it may be a competition, but to the contestants, it is a production. So when the SI contestants leave one by one, it's pretty hard to take, unless the fella in there is so bent on winning and has a horribly selfish attitude. Pui.

Praise the Lord! Now I have a renewed attitude towards school after the roller coaster ride. :) Now I'm excited to go back school. Regardless of what I have to study. :) Oh, I received a letter from some government department stating that they are really pleased to inform me that I've been selected to be in some position which I know nothing about. How come lucky draw also not so heng uh? :D Anyway, regardless of what position I'm placed in and what responsibilities I have to undertake, I pray that I will commit myself to it with the right attitude. I'm pretty sick of negative attitudes and being affected by people with negative vibes. I also pray that I will not produce such vibes either.

I need to pack the room. Again. :S Also need to do my QT. :D

Phhooooossshhhh!!!!!

Time just flew by! Did u feel that?

So many things have taken place, and as usual, I'm not sure I know where to start, as usual. I'll write anyway...

Uploading Abby's photos onto her album now. Have been wanting to do that for quite some time, but haven't had the mood to do it. So now even no mood die die have to upload, or else will pile up even more. :P Looking at these photos really make my heart melt... she's growing up so fast! :D I love those of hers with her daddy. It's my prayer that my children will have a dad who loves them wholeheartedly and shows that. God is good, He's blessed my children with a great dad! I've never experienced that, so through him, I rejoice that my child can have what I didn't. I'm not even sure if my dad has ever changed my diaper before. But it doesn't really bother me anymore. It doesn't change the fact that he's still my dad, and like my mum asked me the other day, if my dad gets really old next time and no one wants him anymore, would we, as his children, take him in? Of course! :D

Even though he's got another family, ironically, he feels rejected by us. When we went to sent Randy off to be enlisted on the 20th, we met my dad at Pasir Ris MRT station. Before he left, he asked us to msg him whenever, and jokingly commented that it seems like he's been deleted off our contact list! :P Anyway, I thank God that there isn't hostility between us, unlike many years ago when it got real bad. *Shudder* Well, about 3 weeks ago, he msged me and asked if I was having a celebration for my birthday. I was like, "Huh? So far away!" He still thinks I'm a li'l girl who gets excited about my birthday and starts drawing up a guest list THREE MONTHS before my birthday!

Ben was supposed to go reservist yesterday after our birthday celebration, but thank God he managed to be excused and go in only next week. By God's grace. So on the 26th, which was BEN's day, we went to Tung Lok's My Humble House.




We sat on this couch! It could fit both of us side by side!



We really enjoyed dinner, and really splurged on ourselves. Also, we received a complimentary birthday dessert. Well, they call it "Speak Softly Love - Strawberries with Chocolate Fondue and Ice Cream. They really have fanciful names for their food - Elixir of Life – Double-boiled Soup of the Day, The Balmy Breeze Beckons –Oven-baked Five-spiced Pork Loin, Chef's Blended Sauce amongst MANY other items. The decor is pretty amazing - very artistic. I must be honest though - I spent the first 3 minutes trying to figure out the orientation of the menu, and the next TEN minutes trying to read through all the items in the menu. It's really nice though. The food's fantastic. Well, abby as usual, she knows when mummy eats, coz she'll wanna join in too. So during then, I breastfed her for most part of the meal as we ate. :P

When we reached home, Ben got me to put the voucher pouch back in the glove compartment. When I opened it, I saw a bouquet in there! Also, a handmade card - gosh I love his creativity! Benji's back! ;D - and my birthday present!! I've been bugging him for one for most part of the year. Anyone wanna guess wat he got for me?



It was a fabulous evening, to be able to spend our birthday festival together. :) God is good. :) No more lonely birthdays. Many people blessed us with birthday wishes - Dad, Mum, Granny, Choo ee & family, Eve & Vic, Queenie, Charlotte & Andrew, Randy (he called from camp!!), Aunt Mich & family, Aunt Carol, Ps Jonathan, Xiaoyan, Huiying, Carole and Elise! :D

Started the next day without any plans coz Ben was supposed to go in camp. Wanted to go Amore Day Spa with the deal I got, but procrastinated so much that I didn't even make the appointment. So Eve took pity on me - seeing that Ben was going in camp - and offered to visit me. Later on, plans developed and I got the car and went to my mum's workplace to visit her. Thank God she was in Singapore. God revealed a simple truth to me some years ago. Though for birthdays, we celebrate the birthday person, in actual fact, we have to honour our mothers on this day for bearing us. The truth hit me more so after I've become a mother myself. So we skipped down to church for a quick visit and took some photos. :) (it's my first time out with Abby alone! And I feel great! :D)







after that, went over to Eve's place to pick her up. We went down to Parkway, she to Cold Storage while I headed for Isetan's Nursery Room, my hideaway as Abby milks me. :) After that, we went back to Eve's place to check on Vic while Ben headed for her place in a cab after his daily zillion-laps swim (he hit 100 on last sat!). We left for Swenson's and pigged out there. Mmm. Abby had to be fed again. There. :P

Really enjoyed myself... yakking and all. The conversation never seems to run dry, it's really enjoyable. Ben's so amazed at the way the ball keeps bouncing back and forth. Even when the 'ball' drops, a new serve is given and the game continues, so there's very li'l awkward moment. And the things we do... gosh, the tiko pek in the next car would have dropped his jaw... Hahahah... put two breastfeeding women together and u have strange conversations! Engorged breasts, poopy MMS, etc. Yup. Super auntie, but loving every moment of it. :D

Oh, by the way, I scalded myself today while preparing for abby's bath. Cooked my right hand. Sigh.

Abby's able to hold her neck pretty well now, with the occasional flops - whacks rather - and she's smiling so sweetly whenever she's fed and clean! When she's got a dirty diaper, she'd haf an uncomfortable look if it's been too long, or she just won't sleep. Oh, we realised she's sleeping long hours. Yup, blur parents. She sleeps from 11pm to 7am without waking up, and when she does, around 7 in the morning, she feeds for abt 15mins then she goes back to sleep till about 10. So effectively, she's sleeping from 11pm to 10am! Wow! :D

Okie, think I gotta go pump milk alredi... Still uploading photos though... :D

Ultimate Laziness!

I'll let my best pal, li'l Vic (the charming babe on the left!), do the narrating for the day while I snooze... hehe! It's Snoozy Sunday! :D



Luff,
Baby Abby!

Baby News Update

Congratulations to Melissa who has given birth to a healthy 3.6kg baby girl, Athena Ng Dianya, on 18th October 2004.



Also, BIG HUGE CONGRATS to Karen who's expecting BabyTwo! :D Keep the updates coming, girl! :D

Hullo world!

Bozo has finally got it!



Hullo world!

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?
21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?
21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1.

3. Why are his gloves wet?
His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and if not, why not?
He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

5. How often are the guards changed?
Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?
For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10" and 6' 2" tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30." Other requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame.

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!" Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930. We can be very proud of our young men and women in the service no matter where they serve.

Blur

The days are passing by in a blur. Not exactly very energetic, everywhere's still spinning, may go see doc sometime soon. Miss the girls - every single one of them - coz i haven't had much strength catching up with them. Room's still in a mess :P, need new clothes coz I dun haf suitable ones now. Have been repeating my wardrobe - today's outfit is the 3rd time i wore it this week. Need separates. My walk-in looks full but can't seem to find a thing to wear. Well, will clear out the remaining maternity stuff - some are still lingering around! :P Well, everytime i clear them it's always - I think i stil can wear this - even thought it's either too big (maternity) or too small (waaaaaaaaay before pregnancy days).

It was hilarious tonite... Bro took video of Abby imitating him sticking his tongue out and Ben caught a video clip of mum carrying abby and then realising there was a bug on her arm. I freaked out and the phone cam caught that too. In my face. :P Heh.

Oh. It's past twelve. Today is many people's birthday. Quite strange actually. Well, there's Vincent Phang's birthday, Vincent Ooi's birthday, and from what I heard, Del was supposed to be named Vincent also (is that true?? :D). It's officially Vincent Day. Heheh. :) Happy birthday Vincents and a Del!

In seven days' time, my ol' man will be going ICT. So sad. :( Dunno for how long, but praise God my MIL and I are on way better terms now, so I won't be scratching my eyes out. Heh.

Well, still tired. Physically. Will go read abit ,spend time with God, reflect and k.o. G'Nite.

P.S. My dog ate Abby's poop. Eeeeks.

Photos

Yay, the cell's Dinner & Dance (great dinner but no dance, only a night full of corny jokes) photos are up! :D They are here and will last only 2 weeks or so. :)

Spin

The room is spinning. Woke up to a spinning room. I'm fine, just that the room keeps spinning. It's spinning in a rather odd way too. Like that puzzle houses u go to when u haf no where else to go to - the kind where u walk across a mini bridge in the house while circular walls around the bridge spin. Yup. The room is spinning on its horizontal axis.

Spin also. Like how people see a perspective and believe it's the truth. I appreciate family gatherings, I really do. Just that whenever we approach a subject we all love bitching about, I have started to bite my tongue. I think whenever we gather, we just luuuurrrrvve bitching about this topic. And I have to stop. Honour your parents. Even though he's blah blah blah... *censored*, yup, I still have to toe the line when everyone is having a jolly good time bitching. Yup. I'm bitching too. God, help me love this man the way You want me to.

Will see if I'm feeling better. Yesterday, Abby's routine was no routine. She woke up at 3am *sigh* coz she slept from 7pm the evening before - see, 7am to 3pm is 8hrs - and then started her day at 3am, when we were still busy trying to get some work done. So, 3am, 6am (I fed her while i was asleep), 8am (ditto), 9am (scolded myself for falling asleep while feeding her, 12nn (this feed lasted till 1.30 coz I was tat sleepy), 3pm (we din realise this feed was due coz granny carried her downstairs after that long feed), 5.30pm, 8.30pm (she woke up coz it was too steaming hot in her infant seat and thank God, not much earlier or I would have had a chance at aunt michelle's dinner) and 11.15pm. Now looking back, it wasn't tat bad. But the only sleep she had was at the 12nn feed. So from 9am to about 7pm, she was awake. That's really long for a 2mth old. She napped from 7 to 8.30pm, then after feeding her, she slowly dozed off in Ben's arms. Then after he put her down, she was still dreamy until patient relatives went to coo at her. Then she was fully awake. Oh well. Thank God last nite she slept from about 12 to 7 this morning.

Realised because of my ill-discipline, she may be developing a need to nurse to sleep. Like last nite. I went to bathe and she fussed. Ben picked her up and noted that she was still hungry. But then I said that she may be wanting to be nursed to sleep instead. So she fussed abit, din feed her, and then she promptly fell asleep until this morning. Thank God.

Woke up ard 7 and fed and changed her. She fell back to sleep around 8.15am. It's a good day. Next feed due -between 10 and 11am.

Happy Birthday, Mummy!

We celebrated my mother-in-law's birthday today at Kippo, a Tung Luk a-la-carte buffet restaurant at Keppel Club. Family dinners are getting more fun. :) Everyone's laughing and simply enjoying themselves! It's really very heartwarming, everyone just gelling together. Praise God for this unity in the family. As Ben has been believing and saying, Abigail is indeed a blessing to both our families.

I confess I hadn't been giving my mil an easy time. During those tough moments, she has quietly borne my nonsense and stepped aside lest an arguement ensues. I've been constantly praying for God to teach me to love her abundantly, and He has. He has melted my heart and given us a new relationship. There's a newfound respect for her also, as God allows me to see her in a totallly new light.

Perhaps it's the first child thingey and just assimilating into the family, it was quite difficult to relinquish Abby. However, God allowed me to realise that my MIL is Abby's granny, and will forever be. I cannot be selfish and separate them - this i know but emotions are another thing. But thank God for self-control. Although all these emotions were at times rearing its ugly head, thank God that they were just bottled up. Yet the bottle looked pent up at times. Post pregnancy hormones do wreck havoc - so for those who are volatile even before pregnancy, do watch out for hormonal changes affeccting moods during and worse - post pregnancy. But thank God - all these will pass as well. For those who've been pregnant before, i think they'll agree. As much as we say we're prepared, it'll still affect us. But thank God it's over.

I'm enjoying her presence more and more each day, and I look forward to the time when she and abby interacts. Abby loves her granny, in fact both her grannies! :) Abundant smiles and lovely looks - the grannies get them all. And both grannies get SUPERLY excited when they see Abby respond to them!

Haven't got a present for my mother in law yet , thinking of making her something. She's got all the stuff she'll ever need, so i dun think she'll need another massager. Heh. Hope I won't procrastinate in making it - her birthday's on the 12 Oct. :)

Hunting with Sinners

I once went hunting in Colorado with 12 of the biggest sinners you've ever seen. Some of you may say, "Why didn't you just go hunting with 12 Christians?"

But I didn't want to go hunting with Christians. I didn't want to go on a Christian hunting trip. I wanted to go hunting with sinners.

I told one of the men who helped gather the hunters together, "I want to go on this hunting trip with the biggest sinners you've got."

"Son," he said, "we've got a crew that goes every year. They're going to talk about women. They're going to drink booze. I mean, it's going to be bad. They'll be telling dirty jokes from the minute you get there."

"That's the crew I want," I said.

"Well, we're sure not going to tell them you're a preacher," he told me.

"No," I said, "go ahead and tell them." I wanted them to know they were going hunting with a preacher.

Sure enough, everyone was told that they were going hunting with a preacher. They all basically said, "Well, I'll tell you one blankety-blank thing. It ain't going to stop our blankety-blank having fun. We don't care if that blankety-blank preacher is coming. We're going to blank whatever we want to blank!"

That's what they really thought. They absolutely weren't going to change their actions because of me.

So the time came for us to go hunting. All of us got together, and when it came time to introduce me, I was introduced as "Reverend Jesse." As soon as I was introduced to those men, they told me, "Now, Reverend, let us just tell you one blankety-blank thing. We're going to blankety-blank talk the way we want to. Do you understand? We're going to talk about women. We're going to talk about drinking, and all of that stuff. We're going to cuss when we want to, and we're going to drink booze. In fact, we have two quarts of Jack Daniel's right here, and we're going up the mountain. If you want to drink some, we won't tell anybody."

I listened to those guys, and when they were done saying what they had to say, I spoke up. I said, "Guys, you all can talk about anything you want and cuss as much as you want. I couldn't care less." They just looked at me. They were shocked to hear this. They hadn't expected a preacher to say that.

I went on, "If you want to flat cuss, then cuss from the minute you start on the trip to the minute it's over. It doesn't make any difference to me. You can talk about all of your sexual exploits.

Most of them are lies anyway, and you know it." They all laughed when I said that.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, "you're all lying anyway. But you can say whatever you want to say. It doesn't make any difference to me. As a matter of fact, don't let me disturb your lifestyle at all."

"But let me just say this. Since you can cuss when you want and talk about what you want, then if I want to praise God when I want, and if I want to shout praises when I want, then I guess that will be all right."

"That's blankety-blank all right with us," they agreed.

"Well, praise God," I said. "That's what we'll do."

Sure enough, we started hunting that first day, and son, I want to tell you something. They were cussing up a storm. And every time they did, I'd go, "Glory!

Whew! Thank You, Jesus!"

They'd go, "Blankety-blank, really! Why did you do that? And why did you blankety-blank shout it so loudly?"

"Whew!" I said. "Because Jesus is in my life!"

God was with me on that hunting trip. I would wake up in the morning and start shouting, "Jesus, thank You, Lord!" I was praising God, and those guys heard it.

I'd wake them all up by saying, "Whoa, Lord! Jesse's up! Hello, Jesus!"

By the third day into the hunt, none of those guys had shot anything, but I'd already bagged an elk and a deer. And when those guys saw that, they were surprised. They said, "Blankety-blank! Reverend got the biggest blankety-blank elk we ever saw in this place!"

About that time they were getting a little jealous. They wanted what I had, but they didn't know how to get it. They even asked me, "Hey, Rev, can you talk to the good Lord and help us out here on this hunt?"

"Well," I said, "He'd have been here the entire time, but every time He tries to come, you all just shut Him out by using that foul language all the time. Maybe if you changed your conversation a little bit, He might come down here and say something."

"Do you think so?" they asked.

"Well, I got my elk and deer, didn't I?" I said.

They smiled, and one of them opened up and said, "Help us, God."

You see, I knew I was going to get that elk and deer before the rest of them got anything. I also knew that once I got my kill, I was going to spend the rest of my time witnessing. I knew that by the Holy Ghost. That was why I wanted to go on that hunt.

And that's what I would do. After I shot the elk and deer, I walked all around those woods. I'm not the kind of man who likes to wait in a tree stand for the deer to come to me. I have too much energy to just sit there; I'm going to walk. So I walked up and down those mountains, even past the timberline - the point at which trees don't grow anymore. I went up as high as 11,000 feet chasing elk, and I always made sure I would walk past one of the other guy's stands.

When I walked past any of the others, I would usually hear one of them call me over. For example, when I walked past one guy, he said, "Hey, Rev. Hey, Rev, come here."

"Hey, what's up?" I said.

"Did you see anything?" He was talking about the hunt.

"I haven't seen anything yet," I said.

"Hey, listen. I like you, Reverend. Don't tell the other guys," he said, "but what about this Jesus?"

"Well, I like you too," I said.

"This is really real to you, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "It's great just to know God."

"Well, you know," he said, "I was raised ..." And he named his denomination.

"Well, that's all right," I told him.

"I don't know if all this stuff is true."

All of them would say things like this sooner or later. I'd go by their stands, because I knew where everybody was hunting. So I'd walk by, and every one of them would call me over and say something like, "Hey, Rev, I want you to pray with me, but don't tell nobody."

I would say, "I'm not going to say a word to anyone else." And I would pray with each one. I was witnessing to them. The light that was in me was brighter than the darkness in them. They tried to spread their darkness around by cussing and telling dirty jokes, but the Light was stronger.

That hunting trip was years ago. Today, 11 of those 12 guys are deacons in a church. One of them is even a preacher! Those men are in church, serving the Lord.

What does that tell you? When you get around sin, don't let sin pull you in. You pull the person out of sin. Jesus called us to be lights in the world. There's no way we can keep ourselves away from the world. We're not supposed to! Jesus said that we are in the world but not of it. That means that we're not supposed to run from sinners.

Jesus didn't run from sinners. In fact, he had dinner with them. The Bible says that Jesus went over to a man's house and ate dinner with tax collectors and sinners. Why did He do that? Jesus told us why. He said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance" (Mark 2:17 NKJV).

Remember that you are the light of the world because you have Jesus inside you. Light exposes darkness, so let your light shine wherever you go.

(From em2lites mailing list.)

Blessings

Just counting my blessings. God's been real good. :)

Baby Abigail is truly awesome. She has her own character, and is a wonder to watch. Her actions, smiles, mannerisms (especially when she does the "talk to my hand!") really makes hearts melt and tiredness ooze away. She slept 7.5hrs last nite and is slowly stretching. Wow. And I didn't realise, till Blanca called just now, that babies take about 12 weeks to transit to a regular routine. And I thought they were supposed to be routined from 1st week onwards! :p

Anyway, as long as Abby's contented, I'm happy. She hardly fusses, dussen suck on anything, sleeps well, eats well and poops like an M16. Yup. She hit my MIL near the belly button with her power poop. :S All diaper changers should be certified that way. Heh.

Relationship with MIL is improving and she's surprisingly extremely easy-going. :) Besides her temperamental nature, she's a blessing to have around. Relationships with sisters-in-law are good too... heard of some which are stormy, and I praise God it's been a smooth journey so far.

Ben n i have been communicating way lots more, and i'm really touched that he set aside an amount of time daily for me. Practising couch time, before the tasks of life overwhelm us. Great conversations, edification and encouragement. :) There's alot of mutual respect as each seek to make the other comfortable in all ways.

Mum's totally mad about Abigail. From that pregnancy and baby-fearing woman to this proud granny, I'm really proud of her. Did i mention that, 2 fridays ago, when we brought abby to the church conference, abby let out a peep and i had to breastfeed her. That peep commanded my mum, who was sitting IN FRONT OF the church, to run behind and persuade me to end the feeding so that she could kidnap abby! Later, she came back again after the initial failed babynapping attempt and took off with abby to show people in front while my senior pastor was sharing the vision. Heh. :) So proud of her. :) She's a gorgeous hot mama! :D

I thank God for Eve, who has been my sanity and shoulder, my edifier and encourager, a true sister-in-Christ. :) Am so really proud of her for being so strong and holding on to Jesus. Also am very glad that God has caused us to value and treasure this friendship very much and allowing the iron-sharpening process to take place. :) I know we'll go a long way, coz we're very very different, yet so similar! :D Heheheh... I really pray that God'll continue to rain down blessings on her life and vic's, and that she'll continue this path and rise up as a woman of God who will storm the gates of hell! :D Yes and Amen! :)

Really happi with cell too... it's multiplied, and i can sense that things are getting serious. We're a whacky bunch. :) Also, our dear friend will be joining us for cell! :) He feels at home in church and that's a great blessing! :) Both his kids are also happy there, so they've finally started to settle down. :)

Young working adults ministry in the works, and I still have no idea what's going to happen. But I know that great things are going to take place. :) Lives will be changed, and I realised that my mission of helping others draw close to Christ may very well be my mission in this ministry. :) It's not a thought out mission statement, but something which God has placed within me. It's so different. It's real. It's amazing.

I'm blessed. This is real living. Life on earth is short, but life in eternity is forever. The kingdom perspective will radically change the way things are perceived right now. And it will change the way life is lived. The time on earth is not even 0.000000000000000000000001% of eternity, so what will i do to ensure that i will enjoy eternity? As it has been said, some people may not even enjoy when they get to heaven when the prospects of heaven are praising and worshiping the true Almighty God all day long. The lie is too great. True worship is heavenly. It's not the music, the vocalist or even the guitarist. It's about Jesus. It's all about Him. Not about how we feel during worship, whether we like the style or the melody.

Praise the Lord. :)

Encouraged

Ben & I had dinner with a friend yesterday... pretty cordial, with half the time looking for a Lebanese restaurant for Ben's business associate who was entertaining a potential business partner from Dubai. I suggested McDonald's since they are found all over the world. :p Seems these business people met up with Mustafa from Mustafa S.C. the day before and had ice-cream together.

Halfway during dinner, Abby started crying and was not easily pacified. We left the Thai restaurant quickly and headed for church. As we left, I realised the shrine of a Thai idol was erected behind Abby. Fed her on the way to church. Prayed over her for cleansing coz she was still abnormally fussy. Daddy also prayed for her midway thru her feed and she calmed down significantly. I spent the whole of Pentecost Friday - Emmanuel's monthly prayer session - in the breastfeeding room. It was unbelievable. Changed her diapers twice, changed her clothes twice, fed her two rounds, spent an hour and a half in the small room. Unbelievable. Serene came in to look for me (she knew where to look for me...) and after a while I asked her, "finished alredi uh?" "Yah, people are leaving alredi!" Fwah. Unbelievable. I had missed the entire session.

Went out and saw our friend mingling with the guys from cell - ben, roland, andrew, jack etc. We saw Ps Mark heading out of the church. The thing is, when Ps Mark is heading out of the church, he will stop and greet most of the people on his way. So it took him quite a while before we could interrupt his journey out of the sanctuary.

Shared with our friend over dinner about how God used ps mark to intervene and save our marriage even before the wedding. I praise God he met Ps mark. They hit off really really well! :) Guessing his age and all, ps mark suggested 20plus. Then roland revealed both his boys going to youth the next day!! Ps mark's eyes were soo soo big!! Hahah... it was hilarious. Ps mark's two yrs older than him, and worked in a similar industry before. Also, before ps mark left, he asked, "You with these guys issit? (Referring to roland and gang.) Good. These are good guys. Stick with them." Heh.

God really has given us favour. We asked him how he found service and all. He explained that he's been bringing his boys around churches, almost 4 or 5!, but haven't been able to settle down because they couldn't compromise - one may like, but the other dussen or vice versa. Until they came to Emmanuel. Both the boys like!!! WoW!!! One likes the worship, while the other enjoys the teaching! WoWoWoWoW... God is good!!! :D Let's keep praying that all will emerge victorious!! And especially when i realised that the boys would most likely be under roland (i.e. good hands), it's really encouraging! :D

After that and the fellowship, he left for home while the rest of cell went for supper at Simpang Bedok. On the way back, we chatted with Serene coz she lived nearby so we gave her a lift. She shared that she was really encouraged by how we manage parenthood. I am similarly encouraged by her words. She's a family friend of the Ngs, and seeing how the family is so child-centred towards the newborn scares her. Yet, as she sees how relaxed we are with Abby, how relaxed Abby is with us and with the rest of the church... (yup, people we know take turns to carry her and she's totally cool about it)... and how easy she is to manage (think about it, we could have supper and fellowship with the cell at Simpang Bedok till 11plus) she's encouraged to be a parent! :D Only by prayer can this happen. Before the wedding. Before the conception. Before the delivery. And during and after too! :D Auntie Aye Lan prayed for Faithe's husband when she was pregnant with Faithe. So it's never too early to start. :)

God's putting another dear female friend in my life. This time it is another powerful friendship. Synergistic and sharing a common vision for God. We're going to start a ministry!! God is good. Ben and I have been stranded for quite a while in terms of ministry and a similar trap for many is to go where the road's been travelled. Ministries that have been in place, such as Youth, Children, Ushering etc. Yet within me I couldn't see myself in any of these ministries. Something just wasn't right. Serene felt that way too. Until last week when we spoke and shared individually the vision God had placed in our hearts! :) I pray for wisdom and efficiency so that my time here on earth is not in vain. Perhaps that's why i've been feeling so stifled. Because I haven't been productive. Not that I dun cherish my time with Abby. No no. I'll never trade it for anything in the world. She is God's gift to me and I'm really honoured to be her mother. She is my responsibility and my joy and nothing can ever replace her. Yet my life should not, and does not pivot around her. It does not pivot around work also, although work expands to fill up whatever time available. I believe God will teach me to manage my time. Even the president of the US has time to exercise. What more a lil' girl like me? :D

I pray that God continues the good work that He has started in all of us, and that He'll bring it to completion. Amen! :D

Pruning

I just had a very interesting encounter. My aunt bought a mozzie plant for abby so that we can open the balcony doors and keep mosquitoes away. The thing is, she bought it about 2 weeks ago, and Ben just managed to collect from her place yesterday. At first I understood that the plant had dried up partially so it was pretty pathetic looking. Then as we were leaving the house to run some errands yesterday, ben mentioned that the other section (??) of the plant is downstairs, and it's a bushy lot! It had overgrown, so he left it downstairs. So I realised that there were actually two parts of the plant!!

So the pathetic lot was upstairs. Not that bad, but just had the right amount of dried up leaves and fresh ones. I took my scissors and started snipping away. At first i removed the clearly gone case leaves... dried up and ready to be preserved, then those that seemed hopeless. Then the Holy Spirit started explaining to me, "The Heavenly Father prunes your life as well, so that nutrients, such as time and resources, are not wasted on activities which produce no fruit. In fact, if left there, they will zap up all your energy and time. In time, u will nto bear fruit, but be so zapped." Indeed, I must allow my Father to prune me. Later I also recalled that even seemingly good branches, the Father prunes. It is because by pruning the good ones, better ones will grow. So in His wisdom, He will prune. So that we will bear fruit. Much fruit. More fruit.

Let's hope God will give me wisdom to prune the mozzie plant so that it will survive. I need green thumbs. If it survives, it'll be the first plant that survives under my care. Heh. :P