Abby Starts School

Today marks the fourth day of Abby going to school. It has been very eventful. Let me try to recall (before I fall asleep at the keyboard)...

Ben took leave to accompany Abby (and I) to school on the first day (Monday, 3rd July 2006). New green uniform with funky pink shoes (we didn't realise they didn't match the uniform - oversight on my part) with funky Hello Kitty schoolbag. The arrangement was for her to go halfday, which is from 7am to 1pm. We reached around 9am and was greeted with a health checkup to look for signs of HFMD and other illnesses. There were about 3 crying kids in the greeting area (all from the Play Group). Malay teacher (Teacher S) signaled for Chinese teacher (Mdm L) to take care of one of the crying kids while another one sat sobbing in her lap as she tried to read a story. Teacher J was trying to console another one. We then headed for the PG classroom.

The kids had to sit at the table and Mdm L had a very stressed looking face. She was trying to make the drink water and tried to sound friendly. But impatient. Lotsa impatience oozing out of her every pore. But she was trying to show restraint. Ben saw that I was horrified. I think she was stressed by our presence - a TEACHER and an MCYS OFFICIAL - as well as the 2 to 3 crying kids.

The classroom's decor's simple - nothing too fanciful. They are 'flexible' and don't normally follow the timetable. So they missed outdoor play on Mon and Tues. Also, typical activities include story-reading, puppet show, singing along to the tape recorder, brick-building and some other building set, colouring, pasting and painting (well, at least I witnessed these activities). It's quite impossible to get ALL the kids attending to the current activity, so another teacher would be at another 'station' conducting a different activity - typically hands-on stuff such as painting, colouring or pasting coloured paper on cats' faces by individual kids.

I didn't know Teacher J's face till much later. I got the sense that she seemed frightened of me. Really odd. In fact, it was only on the second day that we spoke. In fact, I was supposed to stay out the second day, but Abby cried so hard during my temporary departures that I had to return to class. In the end, I had about 3 kids on my lap as I read a book to Abby (she shoved one under my nose and asked me to read).

There came some point after the first day that Ben & I both wanted to take her out of school - partly because it was agonisingly boring for us - we were bored to tears and time passed really slowly, and also because Abby wasn't overly enthusiastic about it - not like her swimming sessions. However, we started to notice redeeming stuff which are making us change our minds.

Firstly, Teacher J is pretty soft-spoken and gentle. Though she seems terrified of Mdm L, she's really young and sweet. Abby doesn't like boisterious sounding people, so naturally Abby takes to her pretty well, which is good. Abby seems not to be able to appreciate Mdm L as well.

Secondly, about 80% of the kids in her class (there are about 10 of them, or even more actually) are really very advanced. They are not the 'brain-whiz' kind but in terms of independence, how well-adjusted they are, speech, confidence, etc, they are really impressive. They really remind me of kids in my P2/P3 classes. After Abby cried on the second day, one of them actually came up to me and said, "I never cry you know?" This, coming from a 2yr old plus girl. (The oldest is born in Jan. 04). They know how to go toilet themselves and do the whole routine and most of them are toilet trained. They also know how to put on their own shoes very quickly - like, now you see them barefeet, and suddenly they're heading towards the playground with shoes on their feet. Either I've been looking away for very long, or they are fast. Oh, and there's this girl, when it was time to go for lunch and shower (and they have to take their backpacks with them, know how to carry her own backpack without assistance! Some kids I know still need help in 'retrieving' the second shoulder strap!) One particular kid in the class, E. E., is like the GRO of the school. He's really cheeky and charming, and quite a no. of parents (of kids in older classes) know him. This place gives me the sense that everyone knows each other on pretty familiar terms! Really strange.

Anyway, most of Abby's playmates speak in sentences and it seems most of them 'graduated' from the infant care. They are one amazing lot of toddlers. LIke P2 P3 kids in miniature sizes. I can actually have conversations with them - in sentences.

Although Ben & I weren't overly impressed with the activities conducted, but whatever these kids have acquired reveal that ordinarily, the teachers, when not stressed, do have an enjoyable time with the lil' ones. Most kids are there on fullday care (Abby's one of the rare ones on halfday) coz it's only a $45 difference in monthly fees.

We realise that Abby's been really sheltered by the adults at home - she can't really feed herself very well yet, but after these few days in school, we can tell that she's encouraged to be independent just like her friends. She seems like one of the less independent ones although she's not the youngest. Her speech seems to have developed more, with more Subject-Verb-Object sentences.

Anyway, on the 3rd day of school, we weren't allowed to hang around, and I tried leaving at 9am. By 9.30am I couldn't take her persistent loudly wailing, so I told Mrs L (the P) that I was taking her back. Gosh, all my maternal instincts were flooding out and I was ready to claw out the eyes of the people who were making my baby cry. Me. The superly-overprotective parent. The night before, to prepare for the 'ordeal', I read an article online regarding Attachment Parenting's view on Separation Anxiety. The take-home message was: Listen to your instincts. So I did. Yet, after I took the bag and bottle from the teacher (with Abby sobbing in my arms), I put her down and tried to encourage to play at the school's playground. Soon, the kids from her class came out and all started playing with her at the playground. It then began to look promising. I disappeared, but she came looking for me about 3-5mins later, close to tears. The first time when I 'disappeared' at 9am, I was still at the school grounds and she cried continuously. Teacher S advised me to leave the compound coz she said the kids usually know that parent is still around. Poor Abby was trying to open the gates to get out of the place, crying, "Opem! Opem! MUMMY! Home!" Very heartbreaking. As for the second 'departure', I left and waited in the car. The crying ceased much faster and by the time I returned around an hour later, she was actually having a conversation with her friends during lunch! She was even willing to sit on the teacher's lap! (That's progress!) During my absence, the P called me and told me that Abby asked for milk (in the midst of her sobs). It was really strange as Abby doesn't drink milk anymore - she doesn't like ebm nor formula and drinks only UHT and not very much, about half a packet. So I got a six-pack for her and sneaked in to drop it off. The P must think that I really don't know my daughter.

Oh. MIL didn't realise that we're only allowed to be with her for the first two days (I was waiting in the car yesterday) so when Ben dropped Abby off at school today, MIL thought he was on leave and accompanied her. When I told her she was unaccompanied, she got quite worried and asked to go to the school. I was fine with it (I wanted to see how she was doing also) but told her that Ben was going to pick her up at 12.30pm, so Abby mustn't see granny acting like a commando, hiding behind the flight of stairs while standing on a kiddy chair. Some kid actually took the chair away from the commando granny later when he saw her standing on it. At least she can 'pang sim' and not bug me about going to see Abby in school. :) Actually she couldn't see much also coz Abby was out of sight.

When Ben & I picked Abby up, we saw her teary-eyed. But she was really happy to see us! Oh. Teacher J said that Abby seems to be running a slight fever, but perhaps it's caused by the crying. Or either that (IMO), it is because Abby accidentally took a sip from a water bottle who belonged to a green-mucused boy. Sigh. It was too late when I saw it. Now it gets even more challenging to stop Abby from sharing stuff with people who are not well. Which is expected in school. Now Abby's nose is runny. Oh, she took her MMR last Wed and supposedly may cause a raise in temperature 5-7 days later, but I think the side effects package doesn't come with runny nose. Oh well.

Anyway, we'll give school a two-week trial to see how well she can adjust. Her cousin took one month to settle down, so maybe two-weeks may still be too premature. Hope everything works out fine.