Wah, today's trip was fast! :D We managed even to park at Mt E and the whole consultation took less than 1/2 hr! :D
It's just been good news - sugar level normal (YIPPEE!!!), blood pressure normal, doc din complain about my weight (heh! i put on 1kg :P) and he kept asking if I felt any contractions. Hmm. Still told him I felt mild cramps. But nothing severe.
Did a VE and he said i'm about 1+cm dilated liao! :D Thank God no infection!!! :D Even medical report came back and there're no traces of Strep B! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! :D Woohoo!!! :D Everything's okie! :D
Thought I had infection coz things didn't seem regular (details too graphic to put here), but Freddie checked and said there's nothing to worry about and most likely it's in preparation for birth or something - the mucus plug? He din mention that though. Hmm. :) But he kept asking me if I was having contractions. Even when I was trying to get off the exam bed, I winced coz hippos can't get off that swiftly, then he asked, "Got contraction uh? :)" Hehe... I told him, "erhm, no, just trying to get off the bed." hehe...
Going back at 3pm on tues for CTG! :D Meanwhile, can feel my abdomen hardening once in a while, really really praise God. Coz 1 cm dilated would mean contractions have started (I think, still gotta check up) but God's been faithful. Praying for painless labour and delivery and only by His grace will I be able to receive it! Okie, for those who think I'm bonkers, check out 'Supernatural Childbirth' by Jackie Mize for testimonials. It's amazing! Not that I'm a superwoman, but God's a SuperGod! :D Yeah! :D
And His timing is great too! We were concerned that Abby would arrive earlier (even though I would like her to... :D) Ben hadn't completed his stuff at SCC, so better for her to arrive after he's wrapped up at SCC. Well, here we are at SCC - he's tying up all the loose ends. :) He's really really a great man! :D People will definitely miss him dearly! Him being here really has shown me what it means to be the salt & light of the place - not the talk but no walk, but the talk & walk - if u know what I mean. :)
Tonite going Suntec for Food Fest with Eve... :) Heheh... whack liao! :D
Saturday, July 31, 2004
My Hubby's Boss's Appreciation...
Dear all,
Today we bid farewell to one special person in our family - Ben.
Ben started his journey with us since 2001. Being a young graduate from a Psych degree, Ben was first associated with us when he volunteered at our student care centre. Then he approached Phyllis for a job at SCC. Of course we would be most happy to grab him (male teacher is an extinct creature!). Indeed Ben has been a God-sent angel to our centre, as well as the children and their parents. Not only because of his gender, or his educational qualification (of course I must admit that these are value-added factors), but more importantly his genuine love for children. The work at SCC (be it as a teacher, or as asst supervisor), Ben did not take it as a mere career, but seeing it as a mission field for him to extend the love of God. In Phyllis' words, "With Ben around, we can entrust the heavy responsibility of SCC to him without any fear. When Ben took over the leadership at SCC, I can sleep very well at night."
Ben has been a good male (father) role model to the children. He managed to instill discipline and sense of responsibility to the children (especially those from dysfunctional families), in a caring and yet firm manner. I am sure the children and their parents will miss Uncle Ben dearly.
He is also a good handyman to our teachers Violet and Hui Ling. Violet asked, "Who is going to fix the light bulbs for us when Ben leave?" :) Joke aside, I think Ben could gel very well with the teachers. Sure there were disagreement, but both Violet and Hui Ling treated him like their son.
Now that Ben will begin a new chapter in his life (an eager father-to-be), we want to say a big "THANK YOU" to him. Thanks for deciding to "volunteer" with us, thanks for shouldering the responsibility towards the children, thanks for taking the SCC as your home, and most importantly, thanks for your genuine love that touches many of the children, and the quiet but dedicated journey that you have given to us for the past few years.
Dear friend, Dear Uncle Ben, take good care. May the unfailing love of God continue to guide you, Audrey and your child. We look forward to you coming back and visit us, and taking up the role as a volunteer, so our tie and friendship can continue.
All the best to you, Ben!
Samuel
Today we bid farewell to one special person in our family - Ben.
Ben started his journey with us since 2001. Being a young graduate from a Psych degree, Ben was first associated with us when he volunteered at our student care centre. Then he approached Phyllis for a job at SCC. Of course we would be most happy to grab him (male teacher is an extinct creature!). Indeed Ben has been a God-sent angel to our centre, as well as the children and their parents. Not only because of his gender, or his educational qualification (of course I must admit that these are value-added factors), but more importantly his genuine love for children. The work at SCC (be it as a teacher, or as asst supervisor), Ben did not take it as a mere career, but seeing it as a mission field for him to extend the love of God. In Phyllis' words, "With Ben around, we can entrust the heavy responsibility of SCC to him without any fear. When Ben took over the leadership at SCC, I can sleep very well at night."
Ben has been a good male (father) role model to the children. He managed to instill discipline and sense of responsibility to the children (especially those from dysfunctional families), in a caring and yet firm manner. I am sure the children and their parents will miss Uncle Ben dearly.
He is also a good handyman to our teachers Violet and Hui Ling. Violet asked, "Who is going to fix the light bulbs for us when Ben leave?" :) Joke aside, I think Ben could gel very well with the teachers. Sure there were disagreement, but both Violet and Hui Ling treated him like their son.
Now that Ben will begin a new chapter in his life (an eager father-to-be), we want to say a big "THANK YOU" to him. Thanks for deciding to "volunteer" with us, thanks for shouldering the responsibility towards the children, thanks for taking the SCC as your home, and most importantly, thanks for your genuine love that touches many of the children, and the quiet but dedicated journey that you have given to us for the past few years.
Dear friend, Dear Uncle Ben, take good care. May the unfailing love of God continue to guide you, Audrey and your child. We look forward to you coming back and visit us, and taking up the role as a volunteer, so our tie and friendship can continue.
All the best to you, Ben!
Samuel
Friday, July 30, 2004
Future
Tomorrow will be ben's last day at work. Effectively, it's in 8 hrs time. And he's at Mustafa shopping for farewell gifts right now. Yup. At 2am in the morning. Poor boy, tons of work to do, lots of emotions he's gotta handle. Each kiddo in the Centre means alot to him, I dunno how tomorrow will turn out. Even now, I dunno how his gift-buying will turn out.
Thank God Mustafa is 24 hrs. If not, everyone in MPFSC & SCC will get gifts from 7-Eleven. I'm sure. Hmm. I wonder if that were the case, would the best shopper be able to create special gifts out of 7-Eleven goods? Now, that's what I call a challenge.
Was just thinking about the future. I start, or rather, re-start school in January. Also, if Ben gets through with the Master's application, by God's grace, that means we'll be shuttling to & fro NIE day AND nite. I take the day, essentially from 8am to 6pm, and he takes the nites - 7pm onwards, but not daily. Gosh. And he's thinking of getting a bike/scooter. The last time he mentioned it, we were on NIE campus. He said he was thinking of getting a scooter to get around NIE. I'm thinking, the last person who needed a scooter to get around NIE was on a skatescooter. I'm serious - there's this lecturer that skate-skoots around campus. The thing is - NIE's carpark system is pretty inflexible. Wherever u park, anywhere on NIE grounds is equally FAR from the car. Sigh. Toying with the idea of renting a place in J West. I'm toying with the idea - dun think ben has a clue yet... well, let's just see how things work out. $$'s the most impt issue. It's more time effective and saves petrol and energy - esp with abby around... if i have a 3-5 hr break like this semester's timetable, at least i can go home and let her milk me during the break. Hmm. Let's just see how. :)
Was just reflecting on my relationship with ben. It started out fairytale-like. We met when i was 13, went steady for a month before I scared the shit out of him :P, lost contact for 1 yr plus, contacted each other again, he asked if we could have another chance and I didn't agree to it coz i was blinded, he was heartbroken, met him again in Canningvale in Perth while he was with his then-gf, called me much later announcing the breakup with the suicidal babe, got together after i broke up with a suicidal fella, then that was when the 'enlightening' began. This relationship has seen sunshine and storms, and i think there had been times when either party was tempted to call it quits. However, by the grace of God, it is way much stronger today than it ever was. In fact, I think I've never loved him so much in my entire life as much as I do now. I can remember those times when my bud elise was so afraid for us... coz it was that bad. But now having moulded and gone through the furnace, we can only give glory to God for rebuilding this relationship. I remember that time when I wanted to walk away from everything six months before the wedding, and Proverbs 14:1 screamed at me. Well, it says, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Yup, i was the foolish one.
Since then, after that testing January when our worlds literally spun out of control and nearly crumbled, our relationship took on new life. It was like the Phoenix. My mum told me, "This guy really loves you so much. You've hurt him so badly. From now onwards, you must protect his heart and never hurt him like that ever again." I was so convicted and felt extremely remorseful. How could I have been so foolish? All the reasons I gave to walk away were based on our imperfections, and his imperfections, and I was very unforgiving as I kept harping on his weaknesses. I prayed. Many people prayed for me, and with me. As I prayed and asked God to allow me to love him like never before, and to see him and love him like how God does, our relationship took to new heights. The kind of adoration I thought I was capable of giving became so superficial! God really dealt with my heart. Indeed, as God says in Gen 3:16 - my desire shall be for my husband (and he will rule over me). Praise God! I think I'll be miserable in a marriage if my desire weren't for my husband.
All the negative 'beliefs' I had during the Jan episode were unfounded. Like the other day, after Ben spoke so richly into my life regarding God's will for me, I was brought back to recall a 'lie' - that I'll be trapped in this marriage - like a bird with clipped wings. I'll just be Benji's wife with no life, no aspiration and filled with bitterness that watever calling i had/have had to vanish coz i was 'settled down'. An outright lie. He said that nite - after this time of moulding (of a particular struggle within me), Ben can see that I'm going to soar to great heights as God helps me overcome my fear with Ben's support. Wow.
And having asked God to teach me to love him like never before, I can't help but adore him. But most importantly, as Jesus draws me close to Him, my relationship with Ben is enriched. It's wonderful. Like the analogy of a marriage that has Christ in it - it's a triangle with Christ at the peak and the man and wife at the bottom. As both of us work on our relationship with Christ, we also draw nearer to each other. This unity in heart and in spirit is wonderful. And I praise God that I have been given the privilege to experience such wonder. And I believe that this is only the tip of the ice-berg - the iceberg of how God intended marriage to be.
Although we still have issues to work on, I am so so blessed as I know that this relationship is work-in-progress, in God's hands. As much as we have our ups and downs, like what Ben once said, I know that he never intends to hurt me. And neither do I. Well, mushy as it may seem, it is extremely important. Once we start dissing such appreciation, marriages crumble. I've witnessed crumbling before, and at least one party is extensively damaged.
Like in our pre-marital counselling class, we were given this exercise to do. Extremely symbolic. We each took a piece of printing paper and put glue on it. Then we stuck it together. After a while, we had to separate the two pieces of paper. Both were irreversibly torn - beyond repair. That's what divorce does. And we're not even talking about children.
Even as my parents are heading for the big D now, I firmly believe that if both parties were willing to work on their relationship, God can heal ANY damages. Sadly, only one party is willing, but not the other, so God can't do anything also. There's no such thing as 'too late' or 'too blinded', but I do believe that we really have to bare our hearts through talk and love each other and affirm each other frequently and lovingly. It takes time, blood and tears. Landmines and raw nerves will be uncovered, but it'll be all for the better. :) And I believe God can give any marriage a fresh start, be it 1 yr, 10 years or even when it's 60 years already. God is a God of miracles and of wonder.
Thank God Mustafa is 24 hrs. If not, everyone in MPFSC & SCC will get gifts from 7-Eleven. I'm sure. Hmm. I wonder if that were the case, would the best shopper be able to create special gifts out of 7-Eleven goods? Now, that's what I call a challenge.
Was just thinking about the future. I start, or rather, re-start school in January. Also, if Ben gets through with the Master's application, by God's grace, that means we'll be shuttling to & fro NIE day AND nite. I take the day, essentially from 8am to 6pm, and he takes the nites - 7pm onwards, but not daily. Gosh. And he's thinking of getting a bike/scooter. The last time he mentioned it, we were on NIE campus. He said he was thinking of getting a scooter to get around NIE. I'm thinking, the last person who needed a scooter to get around NIE was on a skatescooter. I'm serious - there's this lecturer that skate-skoots around campus. The thing is - NIE's carpark system is pretty inflexible. Wherever u park, anywhere on NIE grounds is equally FAR from the car. Sigh. Toying with the idea of renting a place in J West. I'm toying with the idea - dun think ben has a clue yet... well, let's just see how things work out. $$'s the most impt issue. It's more time effective and saves petrol and energy - esp with abby around... if i have a 3-5 hr break like this semester's timetable, at least i can go home and let her milk me during the break. Hmm. Let's just see how. :)
Was just reflecting on my relationship with ben. It started out fairytale-like. We met when i was 13, went steady for a month before I scared the shit out of him :P, lost contact for 1 yr plus, contacted each other again, he asked if we could have another chance and I didn't agree to it coz i was blinded, he was heartbroken, met him again in Canningvale in Perth while he was with his then-gf, called me much later announcing the breakup with the suicidal babe, got together after i broke up with a suicidal fella, then that was when the 'enlightening' began. This relationship has seen sunshine and storms, and i think there had been times when either party was tempted to call it quits. However, by the grace of God, it is way much stronger today than it ever was. In fact, I think I've never loved him so much in my entire life as much as I do now. I can remember those times when my bud elise was so afraid for us... coz it was that bad. But now having moulded and gone through the furnace, we can only give glory to God for rebuilding this relationship. I remember that time when I wanted to walk away from everything six months before the wedding, and Proverbs 14:1 screamed at me. Well, it says, "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." Yup, i was the foolish one.
Since then, after that testing January when our worlds literally spun out of control and nearly crumbled, our relationship took on new life. It was like the Phoenix. My mum told me, "This guy really loves you so much. You've hurt him so badly. From now onwards, you must protect his heart and never hurt him like that ever again." I was so convicted and felt extremely remorseful. How could I have been so foolish? All the reasons I gave to walk away were based on our imperfections, and his imperfections, and I was very unforgiving as I kept harping on his weaknesses. I prayed. Many people prayed for me, and with me. As I prayed and asked God to allow me to love him like never before, and to see him and love him like how God does, our relationship took to new heights. The kind of adoration I thought I was capable of giving became so superficial! God really dealt with my heart. Indeed, as God says in Gen 3:16 - my desire shall be for my husband (and he will rule over me). Praise God! I think I'll be miserable in a marriage if my desire weren't for my husband.
All the negative 'beliefs' I had during the Jan episode were unfounded. Like the other day, after Ben spoke so richly into my life regarding God's will for me, I was brought back to recall a 'lie' - that I'll be trapped in this marriage - like a bird with clipped wings. I'll just be Benji's wife with no life, no aspiration and filled with bitterness that watever calling i had/have had to vanish coz i was 'settled down'. An outright lie. He said that nite - after this time of moulding (of a particular struggle within me), Ben can see that I'm going to soar to great heights as God helps me overcome my fear with Ben's support. Wow.
And having asked God to teach me to love him like never before, I can't help but adore him. But most importantly, as Jesus draws me close to Him, my relationship with Ben is enriched. It's wonderful. Like the analogy of a marriage that has Christ in it - it's a triangle with Christ at the peak and the man and wife at the bottom. As both of us work on our relationship with Christ, we also draw nearer to each other. This unity in heart and in spirit is wonderful. And I praise God that I have been given the privilege to experience such wonder. And I believe that this is only the tip of the ice-berg - the iceberg of how God intended marriage to be.
Although we still have issues to work on, I am so so blessed as I know that this relationship is work-in-progress, in God's hands. As much as we have our ups and downs, like what Ben once said, I know that he never intends to hurt me. And neither do I. Well, mushy as it may seem, it is extremely important. Once we start dissing such appreciation, marriages crumble. I've witnessed crumbling before, and at least one party is extensively damaged.
Like in our pre-marital counselling class, we were given this exercise to do. Extremely symbolic. We each took a piece of printing paper and put glue on it. Then we stuck it together. After a while, we had to separate the two pieces of paper. Both were irreversibly torn - beyond repair. That's what divorce does. And we're not even talking about children.
Even as my parents are heading for the big D now, I firmly believe that if both parties were willing to work on their relationship, God can heal ANY damages. Sadly, only one party is willing, but not the other, so God can't do anything also. There's no such thing as 'too late' or 'too blinded', but I do believe that we really have to bare our hearts through talk and love each other and affirm each other frequently and lovingly. It takes time, blood and tears. Landmines and raw nerves will be uncovered, but it'll be all for the better. :) And I believe God can give any marriage a fresh start, be it 1 yr, 10 years or even when it's 60 years already. God is a God of miracles and of wonder.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Waiting
Waiting is hard. Especially when you have hardly anything to do. Well, especially when you don't want to do anything hard. I'm waiting for Abby to come out. Now, I am gainfully unemployed. Means that, I am on someone's payroll, but I'm not getting paid. Infact, I won't be seeing another payslip with my name on it for the next 2.5 years. But that's alright. Scary thought, but don't really want to think too much about it.
Ben's last day is on this Friday. And he firmly believes that Abby will arrive after that. I've to wait some more??? But I better dun complain so much and just relish in the waddling mobility I still have, before my nether regions get multilated just so that we can free Abby. Now I still have her within me, and me intact. After this, she's outside of me and the ride of our lives starts.
As much as my body has been practising Braxton-Hicks, I dun really know if they are that. In fact, I still am not sure what's happening. Just pretty zombified, and I think I'll pop a champagne once I have regular contractions. Well, will I be fortunate enough to have my water bag break 1st? Hmm. Depends on whether Abby has a fetal needle. They ought to come with one. Or simply have n inverted air-stopper like those we see on the floats. Release it and out comes the air! So the bb just has to learn how to operate one of those. If the kiddo can do that, then he/she can graduate from the comfortable womb and be responsible for his/her own swimming floats immediately.
Also have been practising 2 hr naps. Day and night included. I'm not sure wat to expect when Abby comes out, but I know that the only thing I look forward to is Ben coming home each nite. That's the best thing that happens everyday. And I thank God for that.
I was just sharing with him the other day about being slightly disturbed by his heavy breathing when he sleeps (yup, he's a heavy breather when he's a heavy sleeper, i.e. when he's really tired). I was wide awake staring at the ceiling, trying to coax the whale who has taken over my body to go comatose, while just getting more and more disturbed by every sound I heard and insamely jealous that Ben can sleep even before his head touches the pillow.
Then the Holy Spirit prompted me, "Be glad that your husband is with you every night. He is very tired and is resting well." Oops. Heh.
Honestly, I've been falling in love with him everyday over and over again, more and more each day. All glory to God!
Ben's last day is on this Friday. And he firmly believes that Abby will arrive after that. I've to wait some more??? But I better dun complain so much and just relish in the waddling mobility I still have, before my nether regions get multilated just so that we can free Abby. Now I still have her within me, and me intact. After this, she's outside of me and the ride of our lives starts.
As much as my body has been practising Braxton-Hicks, I dun really know if they are that. In fact, I still am not sure what's happening. Just pretty zombified, and I think I'll pop a champagne once I have regular contractions. Well, will I be fortunate enough to have my water bag break 1st? Hmm. Depends on whether Abby has a fetal needle. They ought to come with one. Or simply have n inverted air-stopper like those we see on the floats. Release it and out comes the air! So the bb just has to learn how to operate one of those. If the kiddo can do that, then he/she can graduate from the comfortable womb and be responsible for his/her own swimming floats immediately.
Also have been practising 2 hr naps. Day and night included. I'm not sure wat to expect when Abby comes out, but I know that the only thing I look forward to is Ben coming home each nite. That's the best thing that happens everyday. And I thank God for that.
I was just sharing with him the other day about being slightly disturbed by his heavy breathing when he sleeps (yup, he's a heavy breather when he's a heavy sleeper, i.e. when he's really tired). I was wide awake staring at the ceiling, trying to coax the whale who has taken over my body to go comatose, while just getting more and more disturbed by every sound I heard and insamely jealous that Ben can sleep even before his head touches the pillow.
Then the Holy Spirit prompted me, "Be glad that your husband is with you every night. He is very tired and is resting well." Oops. Heh.
Honestly, I've been falling in love with him everyday over and over again, more and more each day. All glory to God!
Sunday, July 25, 2004
My Amazing Husband
My husband has been craving for his kau lak the whole day.
He wanted to take the packet (which he left for this evening's supper) to my granny's place so that he could enjoy it earlier.
He demonstrated self-control. He left it at home.
When we returned, he embraced his packet of kau lak cheerfully.
Suddenly, a lizard popped out from his kau lak packet!
He was astounded. He was upset. He was very angry.
He wanted to eat the kau lak still! Because he loved his kau lak. But he didn't want me to eat kau lak from a lizard-contaminated packet. So he couldn't either.
He threw his kau lak away.
And he went all out for the lizard with a vengence. A real vengence. While I just sat on the bed counting Hershey's kisses, wondering if the lizard kissed my Hershey's. (I HATE LIZARDS, BY THE WAY. My husband's my hero.)
He went for the bin. The lizard hid there. He smashed the bin. The lizard got away.
The lizard took refuge behind the Docent cabinet. My husband did not relent.
The Docent is big. It hid the lizard well.
But my husband is bigger. He relocated the Docent.
The lizard and my husband played hide-and-seek for the next half hour or so.
Finally. The lizard perished in my determined husband's hand.
And he said, "That'll teach u not to come into my room again." As if the lizard ever will.
He wanted to take the packet (which he left for this evening's supper) to my granny's place so that he could enjoy it earlier.
He demonstrated self-control. He left it at home.
When we returned, he embraced his packet of kau lak cheerfully.
Suddenly, a lizard popped out from his kau lak packet!
He was astounded. He was upset. He was very angry.
He wanted to eat the kau lak still! Because he loved his kau lak. But he didn't want me to eat kau lak from a lizard-contaminated packet. So he couldn't either.
He threw his kau lak away.
And he went all out for the lizard with a vengence. A real vengence. While I just sat on the bed counting Hershey's kisses, wondering if the lizard kissed my Hershey's. (I HATE LIZARDS, BY THE WAY. My husband's my hero.)
He went for the bin. The lizard hid there. He smashed the bin. The lizard got away.
The lizard took refuge behind the Docent cabinet. My husband did not relent.
The Docent is big. It hid the lizard well.
But my husband is bigger. He relocated the Docent.
The lizard and my husband played hide-and-seek for the next half hour or so.
Finally. The lizard perished in my determined husband's hand.
And he said, "That'll teach u not to come into my room again." As if the lizard ever will.
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Transition
Have been having Braxton Hicks and backache. Reviewed the past ultrasound scans last nite, and realised that when Abby was younger, she was pretty much 'on time'. In other words, Dr Yap may be RIGHT!! Argh. that means I deliver on or after 20 August. Personally I was 2 weeks late, which means if Abby was also 2 weeks late, we could be looking at 1 Sept.
This pregnancy is indeed forever...
So was just thinking, if I'm considered unfit for school when school commences in a couple of days' time, chalk up the absentism plus 4 weeks leave, I could be 'entitled' to leave of absence for 1 semester! :D Sigh. Actually I would like to defer for 1 semester. Although I'll join in halfway (which is January 2005), at least I would compromise either side - Abby & my studies. Also, I might finish NIE and join a school at the START of the year which sounds more appealing than joining the school midway... :P
Will be going to Dr Yap this Sat for another checkup (it is already 36 weeks according to his calculations - and checkups r weekly now...) and see how my deferment goes. I've gotta hurry though. School starts next monday. U can tell I'm really looking 4wd to it.
The Final Quest is really a paradigm shifter. I've come to realise that we may do even the noblest task with great sacrifice, but as long as we are self-centred, it is still dead works. It's a fine line... E.g. doing charity coz WE feel good doing it. It then becomes about ourselves. Like how the previous belief system of 'chalking up good deeds' - it's basically for our own credit, which is no credit at all. I'm about to finish the book and have come to realise the importance of God's grace. It's not a flippant thing anymore, neither is it head knowledge. Words are indeed futile in attempting to describe it, unless the Holy Spirit reveals it to us.
Ranz's bed is coming in today! A Queen-sized King Koil. Heard from my mum that he's been sleeping on his own creaky bed for the past donkey years, since he was in Primary School. His back hasn't been in tip top condition, and he's been asking for a bed for a long time now. Right now he's paying it off partially as his pay comes in. I'm proud of this kiddo lah. :)
Really appreciate Ben for taking pictures and videos of eve & myself last week after a short session at a seminar. :P Went through the pictures and thought they were pretty cool. :) especially the video. :) It's great. :)
Anyway, Ben's last day is coming soon - next Friday. it is indeed a crossroad, and I pray that God will lead him through this time :) and open doors for him. :)
This pregnancy is indeed forever...
So was just thinking, if I'm considered unfit for school when school commences in a couple of days' time, chalk up the absentism plus 4 weeks leave, I could be 'entitled' to leave of absence for 1 semester! :D Sigh. Actually I would like to defer for 1 semester. Although I'll join in halfway (which is January 2005), at least I would compromise either side - Abby & my studies. Also, I might finish NIE and join a school at the START of the year which sounds more appealing than joining the school midway... :P
Will be going to Dr Yap this Sat for another checkup (it is already 36 weeks according to his calculations - and checkups r weekly now...) and see how my deferment goes. I've gotta hurry though. School starts next monday. U can tell I'm really looking 4wd to it.
The Final Quest is really a paradigm shifter. I've come to realise that we may do even the noblest task with great sacrifice, but as long as we are self-centred, it is still dead works. It's a fine line... E.g. doing charity coz WE feel good doing it. It then becomes about ourselves. Like how the previous belief system of 'chalking up good deeds' - it's basically for our own credit, which is no credit at all. I'm about to finish the book and have come to realise the importance of God's grace. It's not a flippant thing anymore, neither is it head knowledge. Words are indeed futile in attempting to describe it, unless the Holy Spirit reveals it to us.
Ranz's bed is coming in today! A Queen-sized King Koil. Heard from my mum that he's been sleeping on his own creaky bed for the past donkey years, since he was in Primary School. His back hasn't been in tip top condition, and he's been asking for a bed for a long time now. Right now he's paying it off partially as his pay comes in. I'm proud of this kiddo lah. :)
Really appreciate Ben for taking pictures and videos of eve & myself last week after a short session at a seminar. :P Went through the pictures and thought they were pretty cool. :) especially the video. :) It's great. :)
Anyway, Ben's last day is coming soon - next Friday. it is indeed a crossroad, and I pray that God will lead him through this time :) and open doors for him. :)
Monday, July 19, 2004
Hullo? Anyone there???
The latest question on my mind, "Abby, r u ready to come out yet???" Well, I've been asking her VERY often... but she seems to prefer counting and re-counting the number of ribs I have, with her toes, of course! Sigh.
Can't wait for her to be out. Actually, it'd be nice if she could come out BEFORE NIE starts. Well, Ben & I talked about deferment tonite, and seems like I may have the luxury of defering ONE semester! YESH!
Honestly, I am so sluggish at thinking of picking up my other balls which I have to juggle that the thought of it makes me sick. My focus has changed. I just wanna make sure that Abby settles down well, and the family is familiar with the routine which we'd like to set.
Meanwhile, I've been catching up on my reading.
It's been sobering. As much as critics have put in their two cents' worth, still, as I allowed it to minister to my life, I've realised that I prolly may have been wasting my life away and have been totally self-centered. Also, it has provided a glimpse of the GLORY of the Lord Jesus Christ and I must say, I believe His glory is truly magnificent! More than what we could ever imagine, with our warped and tiny minds. Read it if possible.
Can't wait for her to be out. Actually, it'd be nice if she could come out BEFORE NIE starts. Well, Ben & I talked about deferment tonite, and seems like I may have the luxury of defering ONE semester! YESH!
Honestly, I am so sluggish at thinking of picking up my other balls which I have to juggle that the thought of it makes me sick. My focus has changed. I just wanna make sure that Abby settles down well, and the family is familiar with the routine which we'd like to set.
Meanwhile, I've been catching up on my reading.
It's been sobering. As much as critics have put in their two cents' worth, still, as I allowed it to minister to my life, I've realised that I prolly may have been wasting my life away and have been totally self-centered. Also, it has provided a glimpse of the GLORY of the Lord Jesus Christ and I must say, I believe His glory is truly magnificent! More than what we could ever imagine, with our warped and tiny minds. Read it if possible.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Ob-switch-trician...
Panic on Monday morning. Was bleeding so we thought it was time for some action. But common sense made me make Ben leave for work in the morning - would contact him later if there were any 'actions'. :D Anyway, it takes less than 1/2 hr to come home, so would have more than enough time lah. Had backache on and off also - like the PMS kind, so called my obstetrician. AND i found out he was on leave!!! *PANIC* But the clinic referred me to another ob, which was 4 floors down - #06-05. Made appt for 2.15pm.
Informed Ben and he took half day. Gave about an hour's allowance to travel to hospital for 2.15pm appt (I'm impressed :D) and he drove really safely. He's such a darling. :) And I really mean much safer than usual. Hehehe... :) Had an enjoyable time at the clinic. Ben managed to charm a dutch 11mth old bb girl who wouldn't let him go. Heh. Maarle - that's her name. :) Really cute girl.
Met Dr Ann Tan - a very young lady but she knew what she was doing. Very comfortable with her. She checked me and couldn't find out the problem area. Abby wasn't engaged yet but Dr Tan kept asking if we were sure that 20Aug was the EDD coz she mentioned that Abby's big and the placenta seems matured liao. *wonder wat that means* Also, the clinic quite happening - when the scan came on, lights were switched off and there was a big tv for everyone to watch - smart girl! :D We saw Abby - I thought I saw her playing Five-O again :D - and dr pointed out her hair and the fats on her neck! :D Heh. Then Dr asked me if we knew the gender, and I said, "Yup, girl. Better still be a girl or I'll go into shock!" :D Oh, and she was asking why I put on so much weight, then dropped 1 kilo, and we explained, "No more Ya Kun!" hehe... So after saying that I'd go into shock, I mentioned if it was a boy, he'll be named Ya Kun - coz must have been the kaya that manipulated the sex organ!!! hahaha.... super ridiculous yah! :D but fun lah. Did a CTG also - no contractions yet. :(
Apparently, Abby's size is about 37 weeks, which is the same calculation as according to my LMP. So let's just wait and see lah. Going back to Dr Yap tomorrow for MC review. Please please extend my mc... one more week only!!! Although I've gotta go back to NIE the week after, I think I'll survive that better than Maris. The peers in my situation (crossing over) are in similar predicaments also - we're dispensible workers in the school. Helps that I'm preggie, so I'm pretty much off the hook of being a temp staff.
Mtg the girls tonight - finally! Going subway for dinner and catch up on each other's lives. And to see me preggie for the last time before I pop.
Abby's getting real uncomfortable inside liao - can feel her pushing here and there. Poor girl. At least when she's out, I won't get scolded for a skinny baby. You know the folks... argh. I've realised as much as my MIL is a culture shock to me, I am one to her as well. Well, trying to accommodate lor.
Informed Ben and he took half day. Gave about an hour's allowance to travel to hospital for 2.15pm appt (I'm impressed :D) and he drove really safely. He's such a darling. :) And I really mean much safer than usual. Hehehe... :) Had an enjoyable time at the clinic. Ben managed to charm a dutch 11mth old bb girl who wouldn't let him go. Heh. Maarle - that's her name. :) Really cute girl.
Met Dr Ann Tan - a very young lady but she knew what she was doing. Very comfortable with her. She checked me and couldn't find out the problem area. Abby wasn't engaged yet but Dr Tan kept asking if we were sure that 20Aug was the EDD coz she mentioned that Abby's big and the placenta seems matured liao. *wonder wat that means* Also, the clinic quite happening - when the scan came on, lights were switched off and there was a big tv for everyone to watch - smart girl! :D We saw Abby - I thought I saw her playing Five-O again :D - and dr pointed out her hair and the fats on her neck! :D Heh. Then Dr asked me if we knew the gender, and I said, "Yup, girl. Better still be a girl or I'll go into shock!" :D Oh, and she was asking why I put on so much weight, then dropped 1 kilo, and we explained, "No more Ya Kun!" hehe... So after saying that I'd go into shock, I mentioned if it was a boy, he'll be named Ya Kun - coz must have been the kaya that manipulated the sex organ!!! hahaha.... super ridiculous yah! :D but fun lah. Did a CTG also - no contractions yet. :(
Apparently, Abby's size is about 37 weeks, which is the same calculation as according to my LMP. So let's just wait and see lah. Going back to Dr Yap tomorrow for MC review. Please please extend my mc... one more week only!!! Although I've gotta go back to NIE the week after, I think I'll survive that better than Maris. The peers in my situation (crossing over) are in similar predicaments also - we're dispensible workers in the school. Helps that I'm preggie, so I'm pretty much off the hook of being a temp staff.
Mtg the girls tonight - finally! Going subway for dinner and catch up on each other's lives. And to see me preggie for the last time before I pop.
Abby's getting real uncomfortable inside liao - can feel her pushing here and there. Poor girl. At least when she's out, I won't get scolded for a skinny baby. You know the folks... argh. I've realised as much as my MIL is a culture shock to me, I am one to her as well. Well, trying to accommodate lor.
Friday, July 09, 2004
T'nite
Had a great evening with Ben. Went Cafe Cartel for dinner @ S'Gdn. It was a real treat coz I had been eating at home since Sun. :) After dinner, had yummy dessert. Had a heart-to-heart talk regarding children, in-laws, work and how God is putting certain elements in our lives to prepare us for bigger things. Had peace as he was sharing - and he said so likewise. It's really prophetic. Him walking me through this period so that my clipped would be removed and I could fly in due time! Esp about how in difficult situations, I would just compromise instead of reach a resolution. With anyone and everyone in fact - well, it started with not knowing how to deal with my MIL when Abby arrives, but later I came to realise that I dun really enjoy 'hyper-interactions' with her because of the emotions stirred within me, and with me not knowing how to handle my own emotions as well as her. Well, Abby will be a blessing to everyone because she is a heritage from God. :)
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Update
The banner above has been amended. Not much change to the EDD, but I'm following the one shown according to the scan (which is in between Freddy's and my calculation. :P hehe.
On 2 wks mc, and it's the 3rd day liao. Hopefully I'll be able to rest more and rest better. Last nite got up only twice!!! haahaha. If not I'll be stirred like every hour. It gets tiring lah.
Lina has been such a blessing! And Cody likes her! Too tired to blog, when more energised, will say more lah.
Anyway, gotta plan lunch for the next two weeks. Hopefully Lina can cook them all. I cramped up after last nite's cooking by the ol' maid. :P Suspect too much salt.
On 2 wks mc, and it's the 3rd day liao. Hopefully I'll be able to rest more and rest better. Last nite got up only twice!!! haahaha. If not I'll be stirred like every hour. It gets tiring lah.
Lina has been such a blessing! And Cody likes her! Too tired to blog, when more energised, will say more lah.
Anyway, gotta plan lunch for the next two weeks. Hopefully Lina can cook them all. I cramped up after last nite's cooking by the ol' maid. :P Suspect too much salt.
Friday, July 02, 2004
Argh.
I'll be honest. I can't wait for Abby to be out. But then again, I dunno which'll exhaust me more. Lugging my baby around in my uterus or in my arms. Back's aching, and when I wake up, I cannot move my hips. I am waiting for the regular contractions to begin. In fact, I dowanna go school. Not to Maris. Not to NIE either. I just wanna be a stay home mum.
Okie. I'm awake now.
Indeed, the 3rd tri is so different from the 2nd one. Felt up & going and all. But now I just feel like a log. A painful log. I am deprived of sleep. Body needs sleep. But when body sleeps, the blood circulation stops apparently.
I dowanna go school either. I'm a standby relief teacher for now till 24th July. And it sucks coz u dunno the kids, and once u've established some kinda connection, time's up. Also, it dussen really pay to be pally with them the first time u encounter the class. They'll size u up and the next time u go in there, it's hell. So it's strict time all the way. And it's so boring.
I've been missing Poi Ching again. I've been to Seng Kang, Poi Ching, Temasek and Maris. And I still miss Poi Ching. Think most likely it's because there's ownership of the kids. But then again, why do I keep missing Mdm Foo & Ai Lei? Carina's no longer there though. Really appreciated Mdm Foo's guidance. She was frank and straightforward - at least there was communication and a relationship. Right now, (perhaps it's just such a bad time) I think people see the pregnancy more than they see me. Which sucks. My ability to perform is based on how pregnant I am. Sigh. But then again, i dun really have the strength to perform anything lah. Even for practicum, I just taught from the textbook. How original. How boring. I can't wait to soar in class again. Have I lost it?
Went to my GP again. He looked offended coz I said I wanted to extend the MC. So I've said something wrong lah. He did his routine checks plus a urine test. Told him i had a painful infection last week. Gave me this rusty 'sterile' kidney dish and told me to pee in it. Sent sample in for culture testing. Told him I was tested positive for Strep B in my first tri. Other than that, I could tell that he was in quite a difficult position also coz he din really know what to write to certify me unfit for school. So he kept insisting for me to go to my gynae to put me on antenatal leave. At least test for a week or two first (??) until I'm fit for school again. :P Sigh. I really just wanna stay home and sleep. Body not co-operating and my attitude stinks. What a combination. And the consultation cost $45. ~~~$45~~~
Must keep praying lor. Think I'm rotting liao.
Have been having vivid and occasionally sick dreams. Too sick to post here. Anyway, for last nite's dream, I dreamt that we caught the current maid with a pretty young guy at the petrol kiosk outside our place. He was on a bicycle. And she had a kinda ya-ya look. Then when we got back to the house *fast forward* and woke up, apparently the house was 'seized' by the boyfren. We were in a tacky and obiang looking bedroom, and when i tried to get out of bed, this sensor started flashing. The sensor looked damn odd, like those kinda electric chinese wedding lamps but damn tall. So it started flashing like the ambulance flash and the boyfriend and maid were alerted. Anyway, all our moves were being monitored lah. The maid became the queen of the house. Ben's parents weren't home. Think they were still in Thailand or something. Then I thought I had this conversation with Ben alone/or and with his mum about getting rid of the maid coz her true colours have appeared, but she was still rather reluctant to let her go. Hmm. Odd dream.
Okie. I'm awake now.
Indeed, the 3rd tri is so different from the 2nd one. Felt up & going and all. But now I just feel like a log. A painful log. I am deprived of sleep. Body needs sleep. But when body sleeps, the blood circulation stops apparently.
I dowanna go school either. I'm a standby relief teacher for now till 24th July. And it sucks coz u dunno the kids, and once u've established some kinda connection, time's up. Also, it dussen really pay to be pally with them the first time u encounter the class. They'll size u up and the next time u go in there, it's hell. So it's strict time all the way. And it's so boring.
I've been missing Poi Ching again. I've been to Seng Kang, Poi Ching, Temasek and Maris. And I still miss Poi Ching. Think most likely it's because there's ownership of the kids. But then again, why do I keep missing Mdm Foo & Ai Lei? Carina's no longer there though. Really appreciated Mdm Foo's guidance. She was frank and straightforward - at least there was communication and a relationship. Right now, (perhaps it's just such a bad time) I think people see the pregnancy more than they see me. Which sucks. My ability to perform is based on how pregnant I am. Sigh. But then again, i dun really have the strength to perform anything lah. Even for practicum, I just taught from the textbook. How original. How boring. I can't wait to soar in class again. Have I lost it?
Went to my GP again. He looked offended coz I said I wanted to extend the MC. So I've said something wrong lah. He did his routine checks plus a urine test. Told him i had a painful infection last week. Gave me this rusty 'sterile' kidney dish and told me to pee in it. Sent sample in for culture testing. Told him I was tested positive for Strep B in my first tri. Other than that, I could tell that he was in quite a difficult position also coz he din really know what to write to certify me unfit for school. So he kept insisting for me to go to my gynae to put me on antenatal leave. At least test for a week or two first (??) until I'm fit for school again. :P Sigh. I really just wanna stay home and sleep. Body not co-operating and my attitude stinks. What a combination. And the consultation cost $45. ~~~$45~~~
Must keep praying lor. Think I'm rotting liao.
Have been having vivid and occasionally sick dreams. Too sick to post here. Anyway, for last nite's dream, I dreamt that we caught the current maid with a pretty young guy at the petrol kiosk outside our place. He was on a bicycle. And she had a kinda ya-ya look. Then when we got back to the house *fast forward* and woke up, apparently the house was 'seized' by the boyfren. We were in a tacky and obiang looking bedroom, and when i tried to get out of bed, this sensor started flashing. The sensor looked damn odd, like those kinda electric chinese wedding lamps but damn tall. So it started flashing like the ambulance flash and the boyfriend and maid were alerted. Anyway, all our moves were being monitored lah. The maid became the queen of the house. Ben's parents weren't home. Think they were still in Thailand or something. Then I thought I had this conversation with Ben alone/or and with his mum about getting rid of the maid coz her true colours have appeared, but she was still rather reluctant to let her go. Hmm. Odd dream.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Today
Yay. Finally on mc. For no particular reason either. Not enough sleep, too tired to go work. Went to my GP and he did his routine checks. Couldn't find anything wrong, so he asked me to go to my gynae to get me started on my maternity leave. Yay. Apparently we can start going on maternity leave anytime. Just 56 days lah. Well, I won't have the privilege of using ALL 56 days, so might as well do it asap. I go on no pay leave on the 26th July. :P Seeing Dr Yap this Sat.
Went with Eve to Dr Chan today - Vicky's engaged!!! Yay! Praise the Lord! :D Abby v farni... when Vicky appeared on the ultrasound, she kept kicking non-stop. Very excited to see her good friend!! Then when we were having a bite a Baker's Inn, Eve & I really thought both of them were communicating with each other! Hehehe... both moving non-stop. :D It's fun... Hehe...
Have consulted Dr Chan before. A few times. Think after Abby I may return to Dr Chan. Still quite afraid of Dr Yap. But let's just see how lah.
Went for antenatal class today - last session. Watched videos - bathing baby & changing diaper, plus labour & delivery! There were 2 couples giving birth, and if I were one of them - the younger couple - I would be so tempted to wallop the hubby on the head. Dunno why also, maybe coz I could really sense the young mummy's agitation. The older couple fared better. I mean the hubby was really supportive. Alot of cuddling and touching. The younger guy just kept patting his wife's head. Wah lau eh. But when the babies were born, I cried when I saw the younger couple's baby emerge. Maybe coz it was a close-up shot. The older couple's scene wasn't so intense. But to give the couples credit, it's the 4th kid for the older hubby while the first for the younger one, so the older guy knew how to manage himself better.
Moral of the story: When your wife is in labour having one of those intense contractions, don't pat her on her head. You'd get smacked.
After watching the video, we realised that there's quite a bit of preparations still undone. Lina's coming over this saturday. Hopefully things will go smoothly.
Mum is filing for divorce. After 8 yrs. That's a long time. The hubby is still unrepentant. Well, finally there's a closure of sorts. Hmm... Grandparents-to-be getting divorced. Boy. That sounds a lil' odd. Anyway, I told mum, if any guy is interested (and I understand there's a queue... hehe) the guy needs to go through us (the kids) first before they can even paktor. Hahah. Well, mum won't lose her license if she is divorced, but would lose it if she remarries. Her exhorter's license, that is.
If I go to bed early, I think I'd go school tomorrow. Ben was on leave with me today, and it was a fun day. :)
Went with Eve to Dr Chan today - Vicky's engaged!!! Yay! Praise the Lord! :D Abby v farni... when Vicky appeared on the ultrasound, she kept kicking non-stop. Very excited to see her good friend!! Then when we were having a bite a Baker's Inn, Eve & I really thought both of them were communicating with each other! Hehehe... both moving non-stop. :D It's fun... Hehe...
Have consulted Dr Chan before. A few times. Think after Abby I may return to Dr Chan. Still quite afraid of Dr Yap. But let's just see how lah.
Went for antenatal class today - last session. Watched videos - bathing baby & changing diaper, plus labour & delivery! There were 2 couples giving birth, and if I were one of them - the younger couple - I would be so tempted to wallop the hubby on the head. Dunno why also, maybe coz I could really sense the young mummy's agitation. The older couple fared better. I mean the hubby was really supportive. Alot of cuddling and touching. The younger guy just kept patting his wife's head. Wah lau eh. But when the babies were born, I cried when I saw the younger couple's baby emerge. Maybe coz it was a close-up shot. The older couple's scene wasn't so intense. But to give the couples credit, it's the 4th kid for the older hubby while the first for the younger one, so the older guy knew how to manage himself better.
Moral of the story: When your wife is in labour having one of those intense contractions, don't pat her on her head. You'd get smacked.
After watching the video, we realised that there's quite a bit of preparations still undone. Lina's coming over this saturday. Hopefully things will go smoothly.
Mum is filing for divorce. After 8 yrs. That's a long time. The hubby is still unrepentant. Well, finally there's a closure of sorts. Hmm... Grandparents-to-be getting divorced. Boy. That sounds a lil' odd. Anyway, I told mum, if any guy is interested (and I understand there's a queue... hehe) the guy needs to go through us (the kids) first before they can even paktor. Hahah. Well, mum won't lose her license if she is divorced, but would lose it if she remarries. Her exhorter's license, that is.
If I go to bed early, I think I'd go school tomorrow. Ben was on leave with me today, and it was a fun day. :)
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