Tired. Really Tired.

Haven't been resting well. Too undisciplined. Energy level kicks in only after the kids are asleep - guess the playing helps me to recharge... and by the time I get into the swing of things (ie work) it's past midnight. I get a little done, and it's 1plus, almost 2. Then I have a 8.30 class the next day. I really have no idea how to adjust my body clock. Thank God the term break is here. I MUST HAVE ORDER IN MY LIFE.

Time to re-align my life. Amidst the chaos. Brought my two precious to dr ong (PD) today. Wanted to save $$, so went to polyclinic for the both of them last week and this week. Shalom's finished one course of Amoxyxilin - 7 days, and still unwell. Checked today AND HE HAS BRONCHITIS. Very phlegmy lungs. Brought the nebulizer machine for him to inhale at least 4 times a day, 4 hourly interval. Has a cocktail of medication to take - the BOTH of them. For Shalom, it's especially tricky. Can't take med at least 1/2 hr after his feed coz he tends to spit up quite a bit. For the nebuliser, S can't take any thing 1/2 hr before AND after the inhalation coz he'll most likely be spitting out his phlegm that's being dislodged from his lungs. Poor baby. Heart really break. I was awoken this morning by his wheezing. I was getting frantic coz it reminded me of asthma. When my bro was young, about 3, he was wheezing the whole day. When my mum came home, I got a huge scolding from her because of HIS wheezing! She asked me why I didn't tell her that he was wheezing. All along I thought he had either a blocked or very clogged nose. Never in my life have I heard asthmatic wheezing (I was only 10 years old) but ever since then, I jump whenever I heard any wheezing at all. Anyway, back to money - wanted to save money so brought the kids to polyclinic twice. Plus me twice. But today's pd visit busted everything. $270 total for the both of them. (Could hear MIL's silent grumbling when she asked, "How much?" Coz she complained that dr ong's really expensive. But I'd rather spend this on the kids' health that on another set of pots or typical fancy chinese dinner. Different priorities lah. Anyway not spending her money.) But thank God S doesn't have to be admitted to hospital. I think that'll be traumatising for everyone. I'm so glad to be sleeping with him tonight. He seems to be running a fever though. God please heal him.

As for my messed up life, I'm making a few adjustments. Hopefully they'll be permanent. I need to take more control over my life. As if I'm not a control-freak yet.