First, Second & Third Baby

Picked this up from Karen's blog, and wanted a keepsake. It's really funny! (Btw, I'm not pregnant with No. 3.)

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The Evolution of Parenthood

Your Clothes -

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. (I couldn't wait then, honestly.)

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. (Very true.)

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. (I hope not! :P)

The Baby’s Name -

1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favourites. (Not true - Abigail's name surfaced before the pregnancy. :D )

2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. (Not true either - no one in the family named Shalom.)

3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect! (I hope not!)

Preparing for the Birth -

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. (I went for ante-natal classes! But didn't remember how to breathe though. Too complicated.)

2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing. (Yup. There's the epidural.)

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. (I went w/o epi for 2nd birth! Woohoo!)

The Layette -

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau. (Yes, yes...)

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. (Yes too...)

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they? (All my baby clothes have been passed around.)

Pacifier -

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. (Thumbsucker...)

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle. (No. 2 - Apply rule from No. 1 above.)

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. (Eeps.)

Diapering -

1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not. (No... Only poop time.)

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed. (Yes.)

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. (Eeew! Hmm... I might. Who knows?)

Worries -

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
(Not exactly... but I did peek and stay alert!)

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. (He's a loudhailer loudwailer, so need to pick up quickly.)

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. (Tempting!)

Activities -

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. (Yes yes...)

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. (No I didn't. He grew up too fast. By the time I wanted to, he was too old.)

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out -

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. (Once I think?)

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. (Yup.)

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. (Oh man...)

At Home -

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. (Quite a bit.)

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. (Yes. True.)

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children. (I hope not!)

Baby 3 sounds scary! But hilariously funny! :) and possibly true... :'(