He's in hospital

My char-siew bao (Ben says calling him sweetie-pie makes him sound like he's a girl, and anyway Shalom's as red as anything which pretty much contributed to the situation) has got pretty serious jaundice (it was 'more serious' at the Paragon lab - screwed up machine that registered super-high levels) and is in Mt.E again. Initial levels recorded 441 or something, (to be hospitalised above 200, yah, quite bad) and 2nd tests show a level of 350.

We were supposed to go for the PD check up today, but felt that we had better go yesterday after the weekend - red-stained nappy which we thought was blood but was uric acid crystals instead - not enough fluids, lump in the neck which seems like it's grown slightly bigger - PD think it's a cyst and will monitor and get it removed if surgeon thinks so - and burst veins in the eyeballs which PD assures is caused by the high pressure during delivery and is the least of the concerns because it will fix itself in a couple of months' time.

My heart is completely shattered. As we left Mt.E, I felt as if my umbilical cord was being extended - from Mt.E all the way home (while detouring to some places). Didn't have appetite and was just longing for him. And to think: before his birth, I was worried whether I could love another being as much as I love Abby. Now I just can't wait to see him. We went to our new place coz the laminate flooring was almost done but I just wasn't excited at all. Worse - when I went to see our kids' room, I just broke down and cried and cried.

It is indeed faith-testing time. A time of trials = a time for miracles to take place. I know that jaundice is 'no big deal' but I really shudder to think about Abby's time- she looked more yellow than Shalom, but we didn't take her to any test. It is only by God's grace that nothing's happened to her.

Parental visitation hours are from 8am to 8pm. We're fortunate that Mt.E allows parents to accompany the baby from 8am to 8pm; grandparents limited visitation tho. Friends and relatives to view only from the fish-tank outside.

Anyway, when we returned home after a quick dinner of I-have-no-idea-what-I-ate, my MIL, Abby and helper were waiting quietly at the main door. Ben & I were really very touched by their quiet gestures. It was already quite late, but Abby was still up, I think my MIL thinks she'll be a comfort to us, which she was. Abby kept looking at me, smiling and leaning forward to give me kisses on her own accord. She knows her mummy is really down and kept putting her arm around my shoulder (me sit, she stand) and was very obedient even when she wanted to do otherwise. She wanted to get off the bed and was in the midst of doing so when I said no. She looked at me, frozen in mid-descent while I repeated no. She didn't know what to do. At first I didn't think she heard me, or I thought she'd ignore me. But she just froze there. And then I asked her to get back up, and helped her. No struggle. She came up, I gave her a hug and she was all happy once again (instead of looking frozen).

She's really a darling. I thank God for her. And Shalom's blessed to have her as a sister.