Haven't had time to blog. Nor the energy. I'm just glad Ben took the day off yesterday (he had a statistics quiz) and we just spent the day together. It's been a whirlwind managing two-under-two (even with help!), with assignment deadlines reminding me of the other reality - NIE. Anyway, mum thinks Abby's way more independent now that Shalom's arrived, and I'm just glad that angel has been a great sister to Shalom. This morning (at 3am), Shalom was crying (wants to be picked up - guess who's been carrying him around all day? :S) while I was in the washroom. Then I heard Abby's voice outside the toilet door! "Mummy, Didi." She was telling me that Shalom was crying - she actually woke up and walked to the bathroom to tell me that Shalom was crying! :) How sweet! :D Also, when Shalom cries, she'll ask, "Why?" and walk to him. Very big sister indeed. :)
Back to yesterday. Had an awesome day with Ben. It's been such a long time since we had our 'bubble' all to ourselves, just being ourselves - silly jokes, kisses, hugs, and little things couples usually do. We were simply minding our business and just enjoying tonnes of self-/couple-care. :D We went to NIE for his test while I went to the library to get some books for my assignment and apply for maternity leave. Then we met up after his test and had a snack - I was famished and had a craving for waffles! Later, we went to Suntec to get a cooler bag for pumping milk. Ben even bought me an Osim uZap! :D My legs were crashing on me at Suntec, so upon arriving at Osim, I zoomed straight for the iSqueeze! Heh. Ben was so disappointed at first coz he wanted to get the uZap for me (which I knew :D) but I had no choice but to go for the iSqueeze coz my legs were getting cramps as I was walking (lousy shoes lah). The promoter tried selling us both, but I didn't want the iSqueeze, only the uZap (have been hinting to Ben since I was pregnant... heh, kept egging him to try coz I didn't dare due to the pregnancy) and it's finally here! We've got the iPamper, but that thing's really heavy so the uZap's a much better alternative.
I just haven't had time yet to use it coz i've been a human pacifier to Shalom. Right now I'm working towards a pumping relationship - I pump and he drink via bottle coz he can suckle non-stop! Hopefully it can work out fine... :)
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
My Little Princess
Since Shalom's arrival, it seems that all the spotlight has been on him. Thankfully, even Abby is shining her spotlight on him. :) She's been an absolute darling - very loving towards everyone, especially towards her little baby! A couple of days ago, Ben was carrying Shalom at the dining table. Abby wanted to kiss Shalom (she kisses him many times throughout the day) but couldn't reach him. So she walked away, went to get this IKEA turquoise step/stool and placed it next to Ben. Next, she stood on it! :D It was totally her own idea! :) With that, she managed to reach her little bro and gave him plenty of kisses! :D
Also, she likes to pat him on the head - which we are very cautious of. She knows that she's gotta do it gently, but I think her fine motor skills control isn't that refined yet, so she pats him on his head and says, "Qing qing!" (My MIL keeps telling her to stroke gently and she repeats after her granny while patting Shalom!)
She's such a happy child who's picking up too many new things! :D She's learning new stuff at an incredible fast rate and I think she's impressing her grandparents quite a bit... and with that, she knows how to get what she wants. She's into this fake cry - the 'like real' kind which would really get her grandma's attention - then sober up when she gets what she wants. Quite bothersome, but if the adults permit her to do that, she'll definitely resort to that. With Ben and I, we help her to phrase what she wants which usually succeeds. For instance, we break the sentence down into 'bite size' pieces and she would happily repeat after us (which happens when she's about to whine/fake cry).
Unfortunately, because the house is so big, I hardly get to see her. My hands are already full with Shalom, and Abby's just shipped downstairs for most of the time. If she's upstairs, either my helper or her granny would be too. My helper can't stay long coz she's got other tasks to do downstairs and I can't spend enough time with Abby, esp when I'm either feeding the lil' one or changing his diapers. If the house was smaller - our Paradise in the East - I'd be able to see Abby more... :D
Soon, soon. We'll be able to move there soon. The place is almost done, and till now we have no idea how we managed to pay off most of the renovation costs - especially with a growing family and on a single income. Thank God for His miraculous provisions - especially when we need it the most. And He's shown Himself faithful once again. I was just telling Him we're ready for another miracle - i.e. we're very dry liao - and He's provided financially! :D We're more than blessed. Even though times are challenging - remember this is a blog, not my entire life; if I were to document everything, it would be too much of an ordeal - God is faithful. Our plates are really full and overflowing (with responsibilities), and only through His guidance and provision are we able to get through everyday. As much as I would like to lament, I can only give thanks to a faithful God who has blessed me with a loving and wonderful hubby and two awesome and precious children. Thank You Jesus! :D
Also, she likes to pat him on the head - which we are very cautious of. She knows that she's gotta do it gently, but I think her fine motor skills control isn't that refined yet, so she pats him on his head and says, "Qing qing!" (My MIL keeps telling her to stroke gently and she repeats after her granny while patting Shalom!)
She's such a happy child who's picking up too many new things! :D She's learning new stuff at an incredible fast rate and I think she's impressing her grandparents quite a bit... and with that, she knows how to get what she wants. She's into this fake cry - the 'like real' kind which would really get her grandma's attention - then sober up when she gets what she wants. Quite bothersome, but if the adults permit her to do that, she'll definitely resort to that. With Ben and I, we help her to phrase what she wants which usually succeeds. For instance, we break the sentence down into 'bite size' pieces and she would happily repeat after us (which happens when she's about to whine/fake cry).
Unfortunately, because the house is so big, I hardly get to see her. My hands are already full with Shalom, and Abby's just shipped downstairs for most of the time. If she's upstairs, either my helper or her granny would be too. My helper can't stay long coz she's got other tasks to do downstairs and I can't spend enough time with Abby, esp when I'm either feeding the lil' one or changing his diapers. If the house was smaller - our Paradise in the East - I'd be able to see Abby more... :D
Soon, soon. We'll be able to move there soon. The place is almost done, and till now we have no idea how we managed to pay off most of the renovation costs - especially with a growing family and on a single income. Thank God for His miraculous provisions - especially when we need it the most. And He's shown Himself faithful once again. I was just telling Him we're ready for another miracle - i.e. we're very dry liao - and He's provided financially! :D We're more than blessed. Even though times are challenging - remember this is a blog, not my entire life; if I were to document everything, it would be too much of an ordeal - God is faithful. Our plates are really full and overflowing (with responsibilities), and only through His guidance and provision are we able to get through everyday. As much as I would like to lament, I can only give thanks to a faithful God who has blessed me with a loving and wonderful hubby and two awesome and precious children. Thank You Jesus! :D
Monday, March 20, 2006
Finally: Shalom's Birth Journal
Monday, 6th March 2006 11:30am
I went to NIE for lessons, happy that I only had 4 weeks of school left. Which means, if I pop, I wouldn't have to go school anymore because I'm entitled to (only) four weeks of maternity leave. At about 11.30am, while looking for a carpark lot, I felt a contraction, felt like serious cramps, but not the death-defying kind. So I started timing my contractions. Ben had sent the Ford for check-up/repairs, and was on the way to NIE to meet me and try to get his work done. I tried to time the contractions during my tutorial (which pretty much gave my tutmate a scare - "are you going to give birth now?!?!") but couldn't really time it well. Sort of there, sort of wasn't. So I thought, maybe go Dr Yap and check. However, we stayed in the library for ben to get some work done, and for me, some reading. But I was excited to see my baby! :D
Contractions were supposedly getting closer, and by dinner time (we were at Taka with my MIL, SIL, her son, Ben, Abby and Lina attending the Baby Fair) the contractions were approximately about 10 mins apart (we were supposed to ring my gynae at this point but we decided to wait). After dinner (we told my MIL that I was going to pop soon, which got her quite happy/surprised/a bit kan cheong) and shopping, we had to decide between waiting at Taka which was opposite Mt E vs going home and having to drive back again if anything happened during the night. We even considered waiting at Coffee Bean at Mt E. Thank God we went home and had a good rest instead.
Tuesday, 7th March 2006, 7am
The sun rose, and no further action. :( Made an appointment early in the morning to see Dr Yap. I was expecting either for my waterbag to break or at least a "show" (or see my mucus plug), which means that effacement and dilation would have begun. My contractions were still on and off, and could feel them only if I paid good attention, which was pretty odd. I suspect massaging the acupressural points on my ankles had something to do with these weak contractions. :P Anyway, I was hooked up on to the CTG machine that measures contractions, and it didn't reveal anything much. So much for the squiggly messy lines (lower lines). :(
It was pretty frustrating, especially for Ben. He had to choose between accompanying me for the day in case the real action began (and having to explain to his office that I'm in labour but not really yet, which could be quite difficult to understand) vs going back to work. So the darling husband chose to be with me until he could witness the birth.
Dr Yap then examined me and found that I was about 3cm dilated with a bit of show, which meant great news! :D He asked us to go back home and wait (instead of waiting at the hopsital which could be pretty agonising) for more action. We gave up timing the contractions and kept praying for more signs. We were thinking, the little one had better come out either today, otherwise he'll be born on 8th March - International Women's Day. Sounds horrid in Chinese - san ba! :P
So we came home and did our stuff (we were really stranded and didn't know whether to go home or to stay within the vicinity). So we decided to go home and snooze. Which was a great idea. By evening there was still no action. Sigh. Went Haagen Daz in the evening with Eve and had fondue to destress a bit. It helped, but still longing to see my baby. (Thanks mum for the treat! :D)
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 8am
Still no action except for an occasional contraction. It was getting rather frustrating. Dr Yap's clinic called in the morning and told me they forgot to tell me to go for another CTG scan. (Each costs more than $77 and I keep thinking I could have gotten at least 2 massages instead! :P) This was my 3rd CTG scan and I was hoping for good news instead of no news.
CTG scan revealed irregular contractions and Dr Yap measured me to be 3-4cm dilated (still). He was quite puzzled as to why I didn't feel any pain. I felt tightenings but no pain. I was quite down by then and he asked me if I wanted to deliver soon, which I replied "YES!" So he said to go have a good lunch (which we did, at Bakerzin) and then admit to the Delivery Suite. We admitted around 2plus and Dr Yap broke my waterbag to induce labour around 3plus, or 4. From my last labour, I remembered the intense contraction after the bag broke and asked for epidural after that coz I felt I wouldn't have the energy to go through the whole labour plus delivery. But this time round, even as the nurses asked if I wanted the epidural, I asked them to KIV. I wanted to try without epidural and the awesome nurses there understood and were very affirming. :) Thank God for them, esp Nurse Angie. Awesome lady. :) Pity we didn't take a photo with her. Hmm. She was really attentive and even started preparing for Shalom's arrival very quickly. She also made sure that the CTG machine was working properly when it didn't seem like it was detecting my contractions. She had suspected there was something not right, so she marched right in and announced that she was going to stay by my side and manually observe my contractions. After a number of contractions (some were anti-climaxes), she changed another transducer, hoping to get better signals.
7:30pm
Contractions were getting stronger. Thankfully, I wasn't on epidural so I could have dinner! :D (One of the perks... heh.) I got out of the bed and had my sandwich. As I did so, contractions suddenly were way much stronger than when I was in bed. I could only take a few bites and then pause when each contraction hit. I LOVE THOSE CONTRACTIONS!!! It wasn't painful. It was even very 'shiok' to experience them! :D So I was happy like bird but when the contraction came, I just kinda paused till it passed. Was focusing on each one, the sensation and the experience. :) After the meal, the nurse recommended that I walk around (only within the Delivery Ward). I was happily chatting with them and experiencing awesome regular contractions! :D They were also very glad that I was experience such close regular ones. Everyone was just smiling happily especially when the contractions hit! :D
But...
when I got back to bed, the contractions kinda slowed down. Which was quite odd. And frustrating. But somehow, after a while, the contractions started getting regular. Which was great news! :D
11pm
Contractions were pretty regular, and I started to experiment with the gas mask. It was quite fun using it. I had to know when to take, and when not to. If I took it too late, then it wouldn't have any use. If I took too much of it, the room would spin. Ben even tried!! Heh! But it's not like the alcohol-high feeling. In fact it was quite nauseating if I took too many breaths. So max I could take was 4 breaths before I started feeling sick (which was only temporary). Even without it, the contractions weren't that murderous. I think my contractions were rather mild, according to the charts. Mine peaked around 40, while some actually hit 100! (Apparently that happens when epidural is used, I think...) Anyway, it finally started getting regular (see the bottom line - the 'mountains' are the contractions, while the valleys are the rest periods between each contraction). I also asked for Pethedine - pain relief which didn't relief any pain but made me really groggy instead. It was between epidural and Pethedine and the latter only reduces the 'pain' by about 40% while the former simply numbs the lower half of the body, giving the patient the full load of icy cool ants crawling up and down your legs.
Anyway, it was fast approaching 9th March, and I was hoping that he would be born after 12mn. In fact between 12mn and 6am. Somehow I like the idea of being born between that time. Strange right?
Thursday, 9th March 1:30am
Happy that 8th March was over and done with. :D I told Ben that I was going to deliver within the next hour or so... somehow I had that feeling. The nurses kept coming in and asking me if I felt like pushing, and I kept replying no. But when I kept going for the mask, I felt that something wasn't normal. I asked Ben to check the screen if I was having a contraction because usually the contraction would just come and go after a while, about 30-45sec. But this time, even when the contraction had gone, I was still going for the mask because something was just uncomfortable there. I was pretty groggy by then - very distracted by the grogginess while still experiencing the contraction - and so I asked Ben to get the nurse. I was examined and was about 9cm dilated. The nurse asked me to give a push and she could feel the baby's head! :D That was when the action all started. They got prepared and started the delivery process. It was about 4-6 pushes (of 10sec each) when Shalom was born exactly at 2am!
The Pethedine was quite irritating actually... I couldn't really focus although I wasn't that knocked out. Just that being on epidural allowed me to be more conscious while being on P made me high on some drug while trying to focus on the first few moments of my precious' arrival. Wished so much for the drug to wear itself out asap!
Anyway I did not have any 'post-birth withdrawal symptoms' like my first one - all that nausea, shaking, chills, fever etc. Praise the Lord! :D Also, I didn't have swollen feet! :D heh... was reading Supernatural Childbirth and it said that the Israelites walked in the desert for forty years and their feet didn't swell, so can claim that my feet wouldn't swell, and they didn't! :D heh. Although I did use pain relief, I realised that the whole birth process was bearable instead of fearing that it would literally take my life or feel like it was 'pulling my lower lip over my head'!
I'm just glad that Shalom is well now, and happily guzzling tons of milk and putting on weight! :) Initially he dropped too much weight (more than 10% of his birth weight) and was quite worrying because of jaundice/dehydration/etc. But thank God he's alright now. After his feed, he acts like a drunkard! :D Must record sometime and show him when he's older! :D
I went to NIE for lessons, happy that I only had 4 weeks of school left. Which means, if I pop, I wouldn't have to go school anymore because I'm entitled to (only) four weeks of maternity leave. At about 11.30am, while looking for a carpark lot, I felt a contraction, felt like serious cramps, but not the death-defying kind. So I started timing my contractions. Ben had sent the Ford for check-up/repairs, and was on the way to NIE to meet me and try to get his work done. I tried to time the contractions during my tutorial (which pretty much gave my tutmate a scare - "are you going to give birth now?!?!") but couldn't really time it well. Sort of there, sort of wasn't. So I thought, maybe go Dr Yap and check. However, we stayed in the library for ben to get some work done, and for me, some reading. But I was excited to see my baby! :D
Contractions were supposedly getting closer, and by dinner time (we were at Taka with my MIL, SIL, her son, Ben, Abby and Lina attending the Baby Fair) the contractions were approximately about 10 mins apart (we were supposed to ring my gynae at this point but we decided to wait). After dinner (we told my MIL that I was going to pop soon, which got her quite happy/surprised/a bit kan cheong) and shopping, we had to decide between waiting at Taka which was opposite Mt E vs going home and having to drive back again if anything happened during the night. We even considered waiting at Coffee Bean at Mt E. Thank God we went home and had a good rest instead.
Tuesday, 7th March 2006, 7am
The sun rose, and no further action. :( Made an appointment early in the morning to see Dr Yap. I was expecting either for my waterbag to break or at least a "show" (or see my mucus plug), which means that effacement and dilation would have begun. My contractions were still on and off, and could feel them only if I paid good attention, which was pretty odd. I suspect massaging the acupressural points on my ankles had something to do with these weak contractions. :P Anyway, I was hooked up on to the CTG machine that measures contractions, and it didn't reveal anything much. So much for the squiggly messy lines (lower lines). :(
It was pretty frustrating, especially for Ben. He had to choose between accompanying me for the day in case the real action began (and having to explain to his office that I'm in labour but not really yet, which could be quite difficult to understand) vs going back to work. So the darling husband chose to be with me until he could witness the birth.
Dr Yap then examined me and found that I was about 3cm dilated with a bit of show, which meant great news! :D He asked us to go back home and wait (instead of waiting at the hopsital which could be pretty agonising) for more action. We gave up timing the contractions and kept praying for more signs. We were thinking, the little one had better come out either today, otherwise he'll be born on 8th March - International Women's Day. Sounds horrid in Chinese - san ba! :P
So we came home and did our stuff (we were really stranded and didn't know whether to go home or to stay within the vicinity). So we decided to go home and snooze. Which was a great idea. By evening there was still no action. Sigh. Went Haagen Daz in the evening with Eve and had fondue to destress a bit. It helped, but still longing to see my baby. (Thanks mum for the treat! :D)
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 8am
Still no action except for an occasional contraction. It was getting rather frustrating. Dr Yap's clinic called in the morning and told me they forgot to tell me to go for another CTG scan. (Each costs more than $77 and I keep thinking I could have gotten at least 2 massages instead! :P) This was my 3rd CTG scan and I was hoping for good news instead of no news.
CTG scan revealed irregular contractions and Dr Yap measured me to be 3-4cm dilated (still). He was quite puzzled as to why I didn't feel any pain. I felt tightenings but no pain. I was quite down by then and he asked me if I wanted to deliver soon, which I replied "YES!" So he said to go have a good lunch (which we did, at Bakerzin) and then admit to the Delivery Suite. We admitted around 2plus and Dr Yap broke my waterbag to induce labour around 3plus, or 4. From my last labour, I remembered the intense contraction after the bag broke and asked for epidural after that coz I felt I wouldn't have the energy to go through the whole labour plus delivery. But this time round, even as the nurses asked if I wanted the epidural, I asked them to KIV. I wanted to try without epidural and the awesome nurses there understood and were very affirming. :) Thank God for them, esp Nurse Angie. Awesome lady. :) Pity we didn't take a photo with her. Hmm. She was really attentive and even started preparing for Shalom's arrival very quickly. She also made sure that the CTG machine was working properly when it didn't seem like it was detecting my contractions. She had suspected there was something not right, so she marched right in and announced that she was going to stay by my side and manually observe my contractions. After a number of contractions (some were anti-climaxes), she changed another transducer, hoping to get better signals.
7:30pm
Contractions were getting stronger. Thankfully, I wasn't on epidural so I could have dinner! :D (One of the perks... heh.) I got out of the bed and had my sandwich. As I did so, contractions suddenly were way much stronger than when I was in bed. I could only take a few bites and then pause when each contraction hit. I LOVE THOSE CONTRACTIONS!!! It wasn't painful. It was even very 'shiok' to experience them! :D So I was happy like bird but when the contraction came, I just kinda paused till it passed. Was focusing on each one, the sensation and the experience. :) After the meal, the nurse recommended that I walk around (only within the Delivery Ward). I was happily chatting with them and experiencing awesome regular contractions! :D They were also very glad that I was experience such close regular ones. Everyone was just smiling happily especially when the contractions hit! :D
But...
when I got back to bed, the contractions kinda slowed down. Which was quite odd. And frustrating. But somehow, after a while, the contractions started getting regular. Which was great news! :D
11pm
Contractions were pretty regular, and I started to experiment with the gas mask. It was quite fun using it. I had to know when to take, and when not to. If I took it too late, then it wouldn't have any use. If I took too much of it, the room would spin. Ben even tried!! Heh! But it's not like the alcohol-high feeling. In fact it was quite nauseating if I took too many breaths. So max I could take was 4 breaths before I started feeling sick (which was only temporary). Even without it, the contractions weren't that murderous. I think my contractions were rather mild, according to the charts. Mine peaked around 40, while some actually hit 100! (Apparently that happens when epidural is used, I think...) Anyway, it finally started getting regular (see the bottom line - the 'mountains' are the contractions, while the valleys are the rest periods between each contraction). I also asked for Pethedine - pain relief which didn't relief any pain but made me really groggy instead. It was between epidural and Pethedine and the latter only reduces the 'pain' by about 40% while the former simply numbs the lower half of the body, giving the patient the full load of icy cool ants crawling up and down your legs.
Anyway, it was fast approaching 9th March, and I was hoping that he would be born after 12mn. In fact between 12mn and 6am. Somehow I like the idea of being born between that time. Strange right?
Thursday, 9th March 1:30am
Happy that 8th March was over and done with. :D I told Ben that I was going to deliver within the next hour or so... somehow I had that feeling. The nurses kept coming in and asking me if I felt like pushing, and I kept replying no. But when I kept going for the mask, I felt that something wasn't normal. I asked Ben to check the screen if I was having a contraction because usually the contraction would just come and go after a while, about 30-45sec. But this time, even when the contraction had gone, I was still going for the mask because something was just uncomfortable there. I was pretty groggy by then - very distracted by the grogginess while still experiencing the contraction - and so I asked Ben to get the nurse. I was examined and was about 9cm dilated. The nurse asked me to give a push and she could feel the baby's head! :D That was when the action all started. They got prepared and started the delivery process. It was about 4-6 pushes (of 10sec each) when Shalom was born exactly at 2am!
The Pethedine was quite irritating actually... I couldn't really focus although I wasn't that knocked out. Just that being on epidural allowed me to be more conscious while being on P made me high on some drug while trying to focus on the first few moments of my precious' arrival. Wished so much for the drug to wear itself out asap!
Anyway I did not have any 'post-birth withdrawal symptoms' like my first one - all that nausea, shaking, chills, fever etc. Praise the Lord! :D Also, I didn't have swollen feet! :D heh... was reading Supernatural Childbirth and it said that the Israelites walked in the desert for forty years and their feet didn't swell, so can claim that my feet wouldn't swell, and they didn't! :D heh. Although I did use pain relief, I realised that the whole birth process was bearable instead of fearing that it would literally take my life or feel like it was 'pulling my lower lip over my head'!
I'm just glad that Shalom is well now, and happily guzzling tons of milk and putting on weight! :) Initially he dropped too much weight (more than 10% of his birth weight) and was quite worrying because of jaundice/dehydration/etc. But thank God he's alright now. After his feed, he acts like a drunkard! :D Must record sometime and show him when he's older! :D
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Shalom's Update II
Went to visit Shalom and saw that he's a happy contented baby. The nurses even 'complained' he poops alot which is a GREAT sign! That means that his body is expelling the bilirubin (the stuff that's causing the jaundice) and the toxins so that he can get back to normal. He's no longer the screaming, angry, hungry and frustrated baby. We had a difficult time initially when he first came home with us because he was really a very tough cookie to handle. Then we realised what the problem was.
We were about to return home when the nurses had a change in shift. One of the 'fresh' nurses who was about to start her duty came over to speak to us and shared that Shalom had difficulty in sucking, especially when he was first admitted. He didn't know how to suck, so he wasn't getting his milk. Worse was, I didn't have enough for him. The nurse realised that instead of sucking, Shalom was chewing the bottle's nipple. She even commented she didn't know how I survived the first few days. I never knew he had a problem with sucking. I just thought it would be painful initially, but never thought that it was a real problem. Anyway, she explained that the nurses had to coach him to learn how to suck and he's now very successful! :) Initially when he was first admitted, he only drank about 1/3 of what he's taking now. Now he's much rounder, beefy and fairer! (Before that he was losing weight and very red and angry.)
Really thank God for his hand of protection on Shalom (even from us)! Thank God that there was intervention in time to correct what needed correction even though we didn't 'detect' any problems. Also thank God that Shalom isn't distressed in the hospital, like how he was at home. Also thank God that his bilirubin levels have been steadily dropping, and for GREAT LOVING nurses at Mt E neonatal ICU. They have been excellent. Shalom isn't red, screaming and angry anymore! :) In fact, he's one of the better behaved babies in the NICU :) heh. :) Also thank God that the routine that we were 'wishing' for (didn't have the strength to help him establish after going through stresses from all sides) is now established by the nurses! :) Shalom wakes up every 3hrly (almost to the dot!) to take his milk. Thank God for everything, for bearing our burdens when it gets difficult to bear.
We were about to return home when the nurses had a change in shift. One of the 'fresh' nurses who was about to start her duty came over to speak to us and shared that Shalom had difficulty in sucking, especially when he was first admitted. He didn't know how to suck, so he wasn't getting his milk. Worse was, I didn't have enough for him. The nurse realised that instead of sucking, Shalom was chewing the bottle's nipple. She even commented she didn't know how I survived the first few days. I never knew he had a problem with sucking. I just thought it would be painful initially, but never thought that it was a real problem. Anyway, she explained that the nurses had to coach him to learn how to suck and he's now very successful! :) Initially when he was first admitted, he only drank about 1/3 of what he's taking now. Now he's much rounder, beefy and fairer! (Before that he was losing weight and very red and angry.)
Really thank God for his hand of protection on Shalom (even from us)! Thank God that there was intervention in time to correct what needed correction even though we didn't 'detect' any problems. Also thank God that Shalom isn't distressed in the hospital, like how he was at home. Also thank God that his bilirubin levels have been steadily dropping, and for GREAT LOVING nurses at Mt E neonatal ICU. They have been excellent. Shalom isn't red, screaming and angry anymore! :) In fact, he's one of the better behaved babies in the NICU :) heh. :) Also thank God that the routine that we were 'wishing' for (didn't have the strength to help him establish after going through stresses from all sides) is now established by the nurses! :) Shalom wakes up every 3hrly (almost to the dot!) to take his milk. Thank God for everything, for bearing our burdens when it gets difficult to bear.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Shalom's Update I
An update on Shalom:
He was almost able to be discharged today, but still borderline jaundice. So back in there for one more day. :'( we had a choice of taking him back (as well as the phototherapy lights for 3 more days of continuous tanning) but nurses cautioned that since abby would be staring at the lights most of the time, it would be a VERY bad idea amongst other reasons. So hopefully he'll be bright and cheery tomorrow! :)
He was almost able to be discharged today, but still borderline jaundice. So back in there for one more day. :'( we had a choice of taking him back (as well as the phototherapy lights for 3 more days of continuous tanning) but nurses cautioned that since abby would be staring at the lights most of the time, it would be a VERY bad idea amongst other reasons. So hopefully he'll be bright and cheery tomorrow! :)
Forgiving Those Who Don't Ask
The Word for Today With Bob Gass
Forgiving Those Who Don't Ask
If you have anything against someone, forgive.
Mark 11:25 TM
Most people who hurt us do it unintentionally. They aren't aware of how we feel (which probably means we've done the same). R.T. Kendall writes: "When I was minister at Westminster Chapel...the people who betrayed me didn't think they'd done one thing wrong. You could've hooked them up to a lie detector and they'd have passed with flying colours. My friend Josif Tson, whom the Communist government of Romania imprisoned and beat for his faith, came to me and said, 'Unless you totally forgive them you'll be in chains.' I never went and told them I forgave them (this would've insulted them). It happened in my heart. Once you forgive in your heart it ceases to be an issue whether they repent or not. The blessing I got from this was incalculable." When Jesus told His disciples, "Love each another...as I ...loved you" ( John 13:34 CEV),
He knew Peter would deny Him. When He said, "I go to prepare a place for you" ( John 14:2), He knew He was addressing men who'd forsake Him. And when He appeared to them after the resurrection He didn't say, "Why you do it?" No. He said, "Peace be with you" ( John 20:21 NIV), like it never happened. Why forgive those who don't ask? Because God's forgiven us for stuff that's just as bad, or worse! And He said, "If you have anything against someone, forgive - only then will your heavenly Father...wipe your slate clean." You'll know you've succeeded once you:
(a) stop rehearsing your grievances to others;
(b) quit trying to get even;
(c) can honestly ask God to bless them.
Forgiving Those Who Don't Ask
If you have anything against someone, forgive.
Mark 11:25 TM
Most people who hurt us do it unintentionally. They aren't aware of how we feel (which probably means we've done the same). R.T. Kendall writes: "When I was minister at Westminster Chapel...the people who betrayed me didn't think they'd done one thing wrong. You could've hooked them up to a lie detector and they'd have passed with flying colours. My friend Josif Tson, whom the Communist government of Romania imprisoned and beat for his faith, came to me and said, 'Unless you totally forgive them you'll be in chains.' I never went and told them I forgave them (this would've insulted them). It happened in my heart. Once you forgive in your heart it ceases to be an issue whether they repent or not. The blessing I got from this was incalculable." When Jesus told His disciples, "Love each another...as I ...loved you" ( John 13:34 CEV),
He knew Peter would deny Him. When He said, "I go to prepare a place for you" ( John 14:2), He knew He was addressing men who'd forsake Him. And when He appeared to them after the resurrection He didn't say, "Why you do it?" No. He said, "Peace be with you" ( John 20:21 NIV), like it never happened. Why forgive those who don't ask? Because God's forgiven us for stuff that's just as bad, or worse! And He said, "If you have anything against someone, forgive - only then will your heavenly Father...wipe your slate clean." You'll know you've succeeded once you:
(a) stop rehearsing your grievances to others;
(b) quit trying to get even;
(c) can honestly ask God to bless them.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
He's in hospital
My char-siew bao (Ben says calling him sweetie-pie makes him sound like he's a girl, and anyway Shalom's as red as anything which pretty much contributed to the situation) has got pretty serious jaundice (it was 'more serious' at the Paragon lab - screwed up machine that registered super-high levels) and is in Mt.E again. Initial levels recorded 441 or something, (to be hospitalised above 200, yah, quite bad) and 2nd tests show a level of 350.
We were supposed to go for the PD check up today, but felt that we had better go yesterday after the weekend - red-stained nappy which we thought was blood but was uric acid crystals instead - not enough fluids, lump in the neck which seems like it's grown slightly bigger - PD think it's a cyst and will monitor and get it removed if surgeon thinks so - and burst veins in the eyeballs which PD assures is caused by the high pressure during delivery and is the least of the concerns because it will fix itself in a couple of months' time.
My heart is completely shattered. As we left Mt.E, I felt as if my umbilical cord was being extended - from Mt.E all the way home (while detouring to some places). Didn't have appetite and was just longing for him. And to think: before his birth, I was worried whether I could love another being as much as I love Abby. Now I just can't wait to see him. We went to our new place coz the laminate flooring was almost done but I just wasn't excited at all. Worse - when I went to see our kids' room, I just broke down and cried and cried.
It is indeed faith-testing time. A time of trials = a time for miracles to take place. I know that jaundice is 'no big deal' but I really shudder to think about Abby's time- she looked more yellow than Shalom, but we didn't take her to any test. It is only by God's grace that nothing's happened to her.
Parental visitation hours are from 8am to 8pm. We're fortunate that Mt.E allows parents to accompany the baby from 8am to 8pm; grandparents limited visitation tho. Friends and relatives to view only from the fish-tank outside.
Anyway, when we returned home after a quick dinner of I-have-no-idea-what-I-ate, my MIL, Abby and helper were waiting quietly at the main door. Ben & I were really very touched by their quiet gestures. It was already quite late, but Abby was still up, I think my MIL thinks she'll be a comfort to us, which she was. Abby kept looking at me, smiling and leaning forward to give me kisses on her own accord. She knows her mummy is really down and kept putting her arm around my shoulder (me sit, she stand) and was very obedient even when she wanted to do otherwise. She wanted to get off the bed and was in the midst of doing so when I said no. She looked at me, frozen in mid-descent while I repeated no. She didn't know what to do. At first I didn't think she heard me, or I thought she'd ignore me. But she just froze there. And then I asked her to get back up, and helped her. No struggle. She came up, I gave her a hug and she was all happy once again (instead of looking frozen).
She's really a darling. I thank God for her. And Shalom's blessed to have her as a sister.
We were supposed to go for the PD check up today, but felt that we had better go yesterday after the weekend - red-stained nappy which we thought was blood but was uric acid crystals instead - not enough fluids, lump in the neck which seems like it's grown slightly bigger - PD think it's a cyst and will monitor and get it removed if surgeon thinks so - and burst veins in the eyeballs which PD assures is caused by the high pressure during delivery and is the least of the concerns because it will fix itself in a couple of months' time.
My heart is completely shattered. As we left Mt.E, I felt as if my umbilical cord was being extended - from Mt.E all the way home (while detouring to some places). Didn't have appetite and was just longing for him. And to think: before his birth, I was worried whether I could love another being as much as I love Abby. Now I just can't wait to see him. We went to our new place coz the laminate flooring was almost done but I just wasn't excited at all. Worse - when I went to see our kids' room, I just broke down and cried and cried.
It is indeed faith-testing time. A time of trials = a time for miracles to take place. I know that jaundice is 'no big deal' but I really shudder to think about Abby's time- she looked more yellow than Shalom, but we didn't take her to any test. It is only by God's grace that nothing's happened to her.
Parental visitation hours are from 8am to 8pm. We're fortunate that Mt.E allows parents to accompany the baby from 8am to 8pm; grandparents limited visitation tho. Friends and relatives to view only from the fish-tank outside.
Anyway, when we returned home after a quick dinner of I-have-no-idea-what-I-ate, my MIL, Abby and helper were waiting quietly at the main door. Ben & I were really very touched by their quiet gestures. It was already quite late, but Abby was still up, I think my MIL thinks she'll be a comfort to us, which she was. Abby kept looking at me, smiling and leaning forward to give me kisses on her own accord. She knows her mummy is really down and kept putting her arm around my shoulder (me sit, she stand) and was very obedient even when she wanted to do otherwise. She wanted to get off the bed and was in the midst of doing so when I said no. She looked at me, frozen in mid-descent while I repeated no. She didn't know what to do. At first I didn't think she heard me, or I thought she'd ignore me. But she just froze there. And then I asked her to get back up, and helped her. No struggle. She came up, I gave her a hug and she was all happy once again (instead of looking frozen).
She's really a darling. I thank God for her. And Shalom's blessed to have her as a sister.
Monday, March 13, 2006
He's here! :)
Shalom Teo Zhi En arrived at 2am sharp on the 9th March 2006, weighing 3.67kg! :) We're trying to adjust to normality again, so won't be updating as regularly. (I have deadlines at the back of my mind... sigh... will have to complete them!)
Saturday, March 04, 2006
My Little Sweetheart
Abby's aunt did a really sweet thing and posted her photo for a competition! :D Do support Abby k? :D To vote, just send your vote via EMAIL to vote@yourlittleones.com and enter I06036 Abigail Teo in the SUBJECT heading (one vote per email add only). It's that simple! :D It's a monthly competition, so for those mummies, we take turns join and vote for each other k? :D heheh...
You can win money some more! :D hehehe.. erhm, but $5 only... :P
Friday, March 03, 2006
Life's Choices
Was reading dooce's blog and she mentioned about having the luxury of making the choice of being a Stay At Home Mum (SAHM). Well, she mentions this person who believes that staying at home is copping out, and personally, I couldn't disagree more.
It's been my dream to be a SAHM since I don't know when. In fact, I used to think (and I still believe) that the first seven years of a child's life are the most important foundational years. So if I have three kids, I would be a SAHM for at least 10 to 15 years. BUT. I signed up with MOE. And the rest is history. Ironically, when I complete my bond, Abby would be seven. How ironic.
I've been on MOE's payroll since July 1999, while my elder SIL asked me to help one of her pals relief teach. That was a half-year stint, followed by another couple of month's worth of relief teaching (in 2001?) coz she had to go on maternity leave. I think after that, I got posted to my contract school for about 9 months before I got 'enlisted' into NIE. Starting the school year with my class is probably one of the most enjoyable aspects of school life - setting positive expectations, seeing the kids rise up to the positive expectations, and just helping them appreciate and enjoy themselves. One of my pals even commented that my class is very loving! Quite a surprising comment actually, coz I never thought we could describe a class that way. Hmm.
Anyway, instead of four years away from teaching, it's now 4.5 coz I deferred one semester in 2004 for Abby. Although I do enjoy NIE, I never regretted making that choice of deferring my studies for Abby. I can't imagine having to go to school full-time just after one month after delivery. Scary thought. Likewise, this time round, God has been real good. I said in my previous post that I've got four weeks of school left, and if I deliver from this point onwards, I just need to complete my assignments and go for my exams, which is way much lesser commitment than having to go to school fulltime. Effectively, my 'maternity leave' will last till probably 24 July 2006 when the new semester begins. That actually means it's 20 weeks of maternity leave! By the time I get back to school, Shalom would probably be at least 4 months old. Abby was about 5mo when I returned to school. I consider this a luxury already. :) Some people actually feel sorry for me for missing out on the maternity leave pay, but I would gladly take that and trade it for 9 months of anger-free pregnancy! I don't think shouting at kids in school is going to do well for the foetus; likewise, with the hormonal assaults on my system, I could turn real ugly. :P Pay me 3 extra months of 9 months of agony? I'll skip that option. At least I still have that luxury of skipping that option. Which means, if I persist in abiding by that decision, I probably won't be pregnant till I finish my bond, which would be in 2011, which makes me 34yrs old. Could try for No.3 if I'm still fit and healthy and financially stable and the marriage & family strong enough, which I believe God will help us to excel in. :)
Although I don't have the luxury of becoming a SAHM, having Ben's support in that area helps tremendously. In fact, we're thinking of just completing the bond and not teaching anymore after that. We'll see how things go. Right now, we have to decide if I need to apply to schools, just for one simple reason - Abby will enrol in that school to keep things simple. :) I'm still hoping, after so long, that I might be able to go back to PCS. Have been to a couple of other schools - relief teaching, practicum and final posting after diploma - but somehow my most enjoyable days have still been at PCS. But we'll see how things go. :)
It's been my dream to be a SAHM since I don't know when. In fact, I used to think (and I still believe) that the first seven years of a child's life are the most important foundational years. So if I have three kids, I would be a SAHM for at least 10 to 15 years. BUT. I signed up with MOE. And the rest is history. Ironically, when I complete my bond, Abby would be seven. How ironic.
I've been on MOE's payroll since July 1999, while my elder SIL asked me to help one of her pals relief teach. That was a half-year stint, followed by another couple of month's worth of relief teaching (in 2001?) coz she had to go on maternity leave. I think after that, I got posted to my contract school for about 9 months before I got 'enlisted' into NIE. Starting the school year with my class is probably one of the most enjoyable aspects of school life - setting positive expectations, seeing the kids rise up to the positive expectations, and just helping them appreciate and enjoy themselves. One of my pals even commented that my class is very loving! Quite a surprising comment actually, coz I never thought we could describe a class that way. Hmm.
Anyway, instead of four years away from teaching, it's now 4.5 coz I deferred one semester in 2004 for Abby. Although I do enjoy NIE, I never regretted making that choice of deferring my studies for Abby. I can't imagine having to go to school full-time just after one month after delivery. Scary thought. Likewise, this time round, God has been real good. I said in my previous post that I've got four weeks of school left, and if I deliver from this point onwards, I just need to complete my assignments and go for my exams, which is way much lesser commitment than having to go to school fulltime. Effectively, my 'maternity leave' will last till probably 24 July 2006 when the new semester begins. That actually means it's 20 weeks of maternity leave! By the time I get back to school, Shalom would probably be at least 4 months old. Abby was about 5mo when I returned to school. I consider this a luxury already. :) Some people actually feel sorry for me for missing out on the maternity leave pay, but I would gladly take that and trade it for 9 months of anger-free pregnancy! I don't think shouting at kids in school is going to do well for the foetus; likewise, with the hormonal assaults on my system, I could turn real ugly. :P Pay me 3 extra months of 9 months of agony? I'll skip that option. At least I still have that luxury of skipping that option. Which means, if I persist in abiding by that decision, I probably won't be pregnant till I finish my bond, which would be in 2011, which makes me 34yrs old. Could try for No.3 if I'm still fit and healthy and financially stable and the marriage & family strong enough, which I believe God will help us to excel in. :)
Although I don't have the luxury of becoming a SAHM, having Ben's support in that area helps tremendously. In fact, we're thinking of just completing the bond and not teaching anymore after that. We'll see how things go. Right now, we have to decide if I need to apply to schools, just for one simple reason - Abby will enrol in that school to keep things simple. :) I'm still hoping, after so long, that I might be able to go back to PCS. Have been to a couple of other schools - relief teaching, practicum and final posting after diploma - but somehow my most enjoyable days have still been at PCS. But we'll see how things go. :)
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Ready?
I survived today. What this means is - I only have four weeks of school left, and I am entitled to four weeks of maternity leave (from NIE). Which means? I don't have to go to school anymore IF he appears anytime from now onwards. It's Thursday today, meaning, it was a straight 8.30am to 3.30pm without break. I arrived late for class coz I overslept. Sigh. Abby had her vaccination yesterday and was fine till in the middle of the night when she broke out in a fever. She woke up at 4 calling for me and Ben, and was rather unpacifiable because of her temperature. She finally fell asleep after THREE Bumblebee discs... Ben was too tired, and I couldn't sleep (I had one inside flicking my ribs with his toes - absolutely unbearable!) so I had to watch Abby... prior to that, I went to bed around 1plus. :( So after my alarm rang, I fell asleep and only woke up an hour later. But thank God for that power nap; otherwise I would never have survived the drive to NIE.
The night was pretty uncomfortable. I was feeling cold (rare, coz preggies dun usu feel cold, or rather, I don't feel cold) and just crampy feeling in my womb. But it got slightly better during my drive to school. I was half expecting to drive myself to Mt. E. (Hoping, in fact!) Well, now it's just waiting time. But meanwhile, I NEED TO FINISH MY ASSIGNMENTS!
Oh. I just got back my results for my Pragmatics test. Not too fantastic, but can't really be bothered also - too distracted liao. :P
Anyway, Abby turns 19months today! :) And Shalom is officially later than Abby! Abby's EDD was 20 Aug, while his is 20 March. She appeared on 2nd Aug, and today's 2nd March. Well, 2nd one or boy may not necessarily be earlier than girl/firstborn. But thank God for His timing. :)
Now, Abby can do her number jigsaw puzzle by herself! :) She applauds herself after fitting each in, which is so cute! :) She's really good at that... Ben was so impressed last night when he saw her do it by herself! :) My heart just melts, seeing her develop everyday! :D I thank God for a wonderful child like her. She's indeed a blessing to the family. :)
The night was pretty uncomfortable. I was feeling cold (rare, coz preggies dun usu feel cold, or rather, I don't feel cold) and just crampy feeling in my womb. But it got slightly better during my drive to school. I was half expecting to drive myself to Mt. E. (Hoping, in fact!) Well, now it's just waiting time. But meanwhile, I NEED TO FINISH MY ASSIGNMENTS!
Oh. I just got back my results for my Pragmatics test. Not too fantastic, but can't really be bothered also - too distracted liao. :P
Anyway, Abby turns 19months today! :) And Shalom is officially later than Abby! Abby's EDD was 20 Aug, while his is 20 March. She appeared on 2nd Aug, and today's 2nd March. Well, 2nd one or boy may not necessarily be earlier than girl/firstborn. But thank God for His timing. :)
Now, Abby can do her number jigsaw puzzle by herself! :) She applauds herself after fitting each in, which is so cute! :) She's really good at that... Ben was so impressed last night when he saw her do it by herself! :) My heart just melts, seeing her develop everyday! :D I thank God for a wonderful child like her. She's indeed a blessing to the family. :)
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