The Disease to Please

The Word for Today With Bob Gass
Thursday, 16th February 2006

The Disease To Please

I'm not trying to be a people pleaser ...I am trying to please God.
Galatians 1:10 NLT

A talented young musician studied under a famous violin teacher. Now it was time for his first recital. He performed magnificently and received numerous "Bravos!" Strangely he seemed not to hear them, but kept glancing anxiously at the front row. It wasn't until a white-haired man rose and nodded graciously, that the young violinist started to smile. His master had praised his work! He'd received the only approval that matters! Whose approval do you seek? Be honest! It's important to know how far you're willing to go in order to win the praise of others, or let their opinion influence you. Paul said, "We speak as messengers... approved by God...Our purpose is to please [Him], not people" ( 1 Thessalonians 2:4 NLT). He also said, "I'm not trying to be a people pleaser...If I were...I would not be Christ's servant." Tavis Smiley says, "Take your focus off how others see you. Cease being obsessed with the need to impress. Don't allow the approval of others to obstruct your view of yourself." Concerning Jesus we read, "Some...Jewish leaders, believed in Him. But they wouldn't admit it...because of their fear that the Pharisees would expel them...For they loved human praise more than the praise of God" ( John 12:42-43 NLT).

Remember, any time you set goals, establish boundaries, or change old patterns, you're going to get criticism from those who are used to you behaving in a certain way. Have the courage of your convictions. Don't let that stop you from doing what you know is right!

I blogged, but my iBook gave way and. CRASHED. ON. ME. Sigh. Anyway, I'll try to recall what I wrote. (I can't recover the post either...)

I was once very prone to telling people the things I thought they would like to hear. Well, most of the time, it worked well. Why did I do that? It was essentially the 'fear of man'. Well, this fear of man also got me into sufficient amount of trouble. Why? When two different groups came together, they would see two different 'me', because I proclaimed different things to different people. Some may think it's hypocritical, but when we tend to say things that we think people want to hear, we tend to ignore what we really believe or how we really feel. Well, it takes a bit of convincing to believe it isn't a hypocritical action. Well, it was just motivated by the fear of man, a fear of their rejection if I said things which I believed but didn't please their ears. Essentially, I think I lived on the approval of man - what's known as the 'Approval Junkie'.

Well, God convicted me of that fear of man. I'm still learning tonnes, but being a people pleaser really got me into a lot of trouble. However, right now, as I am learning to speak the truth in love, I am also STILL getting into trouble. But there is a key difference. Now the vision of running this race for Christ, this vision of myself, and others running, is so clear I cannot ignore it. The bible also says that sin ultimately leads to death. So I have a choice - to continue to please people and not highlight potential dangers in the bid to please them (and not ruffle their feathers), or be my brother/sister's keeper.

Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Am I my sister's keeper? Yes.

Well, some may say, why don't you just mind your own business and leave me alone? Wooh, I'd love to! What's the point of ruffling people's feathers, offending them and stepping on their toes? I'd loved to say the things you wanna hear and please you, make you feel good about yourself and have an ally instead of an offended person. Like I so free to keep making enemies. But when God entrusts people in my life, can I just please them, mollycoddle them and say what I think they would like to hear? I would. But. I am my brother & sister's keeper.

It's really much easier saying things to please people, then speaking the truth in love (i'm still learning) and and risk offending them and getting them all riled up. I've been a people pleaser all my life. But seems like it has changed.

Whom do I really want to please?

As much as I feel *guilty* and would rather be a people-pleaser, I know that I have to account for the lives in my hands. Unless I choose to live for myself, be totally self-centered and just not give a damn about others. It's really quite easy and pleasurable I must say. What for get involved in people's lives? By nature, I am one who'd rather mind my own business and be stuck in a puzzle book. I prefer *not* to socialise and step on people's toes. My mum believes I'm high 'S' - like a dove, a peace-maker. So why do I keep getting myself in trouble by saying things people don't want to hear?

Well. Because all of us are running this race for Christ. And we are each other's keepers. Whether we like it or not.

P.S. I must qualify my post - after doing what must be done, but if it's not received well, life goes on. No point saying anything when it won't be heard...