Finally things have settled down into somewhat of a routine during church service. When Abby was first born, I remember just shuttling in and out of the hall, breastfeeding, changing diaper, breastfeeding again, and changing diaper again. It was neverending, especially during service. I knew I desperately needed God's word, but just simply couldn't manage myself. However, by observing the parents around me - like the Wilsons, Siew Fun & Daniel, Chloe & Desmond, Li Har & hubby, now Tim & Adeline, they've set a good example for me to follow - to have my heart at God's word yet still be able to manage the little one. (Some of them have quite a few little ones.)
So the last two Sundays, I've managed to keep my butt planted on the seat and resist going to the nursery to 'check on Abby' knowing she's well in the hands of Lina. (I'm not at home most of the time and Abby's doing fine also.) And through being still and knowing that God is God, He has spken - personally, corporately and through the sermon.
I shared a few posts ago about being on the altar. Yesterday, God showed me another vision. He revealed to me His heartbeat for the lost - and I just kept crying and crying. He showed me a multitude of people worshiping Him - kneeling in praise - in the heavenlies, and I was in the middle of the crowd, kneeling and worshiping also. I couldn't see the end of the crowd. Masses of people but very orderly, all worshiping - in spirit, in truth and in unity.
Then God revealed the land around me, around church. The people who have not heard the good news about Jesus Christ. We're often so blinded by our own 'responsibilities and busy-ness' and we think some supersonic evangelist will reach the unreached. Yet God showed me otherwise. As He showed me the land unreached - just in the neighbourhood - not some place in Swahili - He revealed to me His heartache. And it was a tremendous heartache. I just wept uncontrollably. Then through a prophetic revelation - the ministries need to be unity to reach the lost - it shed new light. To me, unity has always been - everyone hold hands, sing song. That superficial. Yet, when the leaders just went up and received prayer from the body of Christ, I comprehended the full purpose of unity - it's not simply to worship God. It's to reach the people through these ministries. It's for the people - reached and unreached - besides worshiping God through our ministry - because - everything we do, we do it unto the Lord.
The sermon was equally impactful. It was about people who run away from their problems. I was pretty amazed at how Rev Harvey Walker, a guest speaker, was able to preach a sermon from the context of the book of Ruth in the bible, rather than conventionally preaching from the meat of the story - where Ruth meets Boaz and they live happily ever after and become the ancestors of the Lord Jesus Christ.
The sermon - about people who run away from their problems - was based on Naomi (Ruth's mil) & her family running away from the famine. That's it. Well, they depended on what they saw with their physical eyes to solve their problems instead of allowing it to become a testimony of God's faithfulness and living by faith by trusting God for His direction; they live for their physical needs and not their spiritual needs. Lastly, they ignore the real source of the problem - which is - their hearts did not trust God. The pastor ended with asking us what types of soil our hearts were - one that cannot be planted with God's word, one which can be planted but is robbed away quickly, one that can be planted but gets choked up by the worries of life and the deceitfulness of wealth or one that's well-maintained and cleared of weeds?
God once revealed to me my heart's condition - one that's often choked up by the worries of life, Mark 4:18-19 "Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful." Then, He showed me the heart to desire for (in verse 20): "Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown."
With an unfertile heart, I can only head for disaster. But with a heart that is fertile, I will have a life that's pleasing to God. It's by God's grace that I'm alive today, and I can only live purposefully, instead of being worried, deceived and tempted by desires which is not for me. I pray I remember this for years to come.
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2 comments:
I will ask my heavenly Daddy and my earthly mummy. :D Wat do you recommend?
Don't worry about being too aggressive. Regardless of my pregnancy, my calling will still not change. I believe if I honour God, He will honour me likewise and help me to manage. However, if it's to advance my own kingdom, then I might possibly be over-stretched. The vision of the remaining gold after the burnt ashes is really very vivid in my mind - the remaining gold representing eternal fruitfulness while the ashes representing things that are of lesser value (which we invest our time in).
I definitely need to be challenged - I don't want to finally meet God then regret many things I didn't do after He's 'indulged' me in such intimate moments. I definitely need the spurring on instead of being indulged in the flesh. Thanks for being a friend. I've been thinking about your question - now what will I do? It's now getting the foundations right (quickly) and building forth. My purpose - to be an intercessor and a worshiper; to be the salt and the light. Now with this purpose, I need concrete steps which the Lord wants me to take, and encouragement and commitment to follow through. Pretty much that's that. :)
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