It felt kinda odd in the middle of the night. When Abby woke up at 7, it still felt strange. Went to the toilet, then I found myself calling out to Ben, "Love, I'm bleeding!" Rather profusely. Went to lie down, could still feel the bleeding continue. Would my baby be alright? God, please protect my baby!
Ben called for Dr Yap and he told us to get me down to his clinic asap. While getting ready, I smsed Eve, Charlotte (my cell leader) and called my mum to let her know what's happening. Mum prayed with me over the phone. Ben prayed and Eve replied also. Charlotte mobilised the cell to cover us in prayer while Ben prayed. I prayed like never before... God, protect the baby!!
I felt the bleeding stop soon after. No more trickling. Praise the Lord. Ben drove us to Mt E and Dr Yap did a scan. Saw a 2cm blood clot. Put on one week of bedrest. Li-fung mentioned about a low lying placenta and gave me a progesterone jab. Warned me about it being oil-based (meaning: painful). Ben saw the whole needle go into my butt. I saw the crucifixion of Jesus and didn't feel any pain at all. If Jesus could endure that, this is nothing. No pain.
No school for one week. Bedrest. Can't even carry Abby, can't let her jump on my belly. Li-fung advised us *not* to rub the belly (mine, not Abby's) coz it would stimulate the uterus (meaning: contractions). We really don't want contractions at 15 weeks plus.
Thank God the bleeding stopped. No reason for the bleeding - not cooling/heaty foods, and whatever conjectures people can come up with. I really don't care about the 1001 superstitious laws. I just know that God is my refuge, and He'll hide me under His wings. I know many will start hypothesising about why this happened, but just leave me alone. I don't need any more fear-inspired superstitions. I'd prefer courage and boldness. And I thank God for the faithful few who was praying alongside with us in our time of need.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Victory!
I survived the night. Victory is sweet.
*zombie*
There's a presentation tomorrow and the day after. Another deadline coming up to bite me in the butt.
*zombie*
There's a presentation tomorrow and the day after. Another deadline coming up to bite me in the butt.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Tenjewberrymuds!
From an email... :D
To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G : "You're very welcome."
To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G : "You're very welcome."
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Eventful start of a new term
The one week hols finally ended. It just zoomed past. I was productive for about one hour throughout the whole week - when I was clearing my table on Sunday night, in preparation for the hectic week ahead. I have two deadlines and one presentation due. One's due tomorrow, and I'm still reading the article I'm supposed to respond to. Pray that I'll be coherent.
Witnessed two near deaths today. As I was driving to school towards Adam Road, I saw something on the road, something small. Suddenly, I realised what it was and I quickly swerved (slightly) to the left. It was a kitten, crouching on the second lane of the filter lane - still alive! It's about the size of an adult's palm, and just very frightened and frozen. About 10m ahead, I saw a guy get out of the car and walk towards the kitten. Hopefully he's the hero of that poor little one, and got there before any careless driver ran over it. The driver behind me swerved as well...
When I got to school, I saw a couple of guys putting this red and white tape, cordoning off blocks 2 and 7. Saw a plastic bag on the floor, thought it might be some bomb hoax. Everyone seemed to be going somewhere, on their mobiles talking. Walked into LT5 and then when the rest started streaming in, I overheard - 'on the latch', 'blue jeans', 'seated', 'going to jump'. Later, our lecturer came in and got us to observe a minute's silence (in prayer) for the guy up there who's severely depressed and is about to jump. From admin block. I was wondering, "Where on earth are all the psychologists in NIE?" (Later, Ben told me they might be probably rushing assignments... how sad. He could be right.)
After lecture, everything was gone. No tape, no police tentage, thank God. The guy didn't jump. Read from some blog that he'd have broken his toenail if he tried to jump coz NIE buildings are probably 3cm tall... :P Found out his name and which year he's in from a friend. Also, I was told that a female trainee teacher jumped to her death last year and her mum still has to pay off her bond!! Apparently they were passing a petition around to help her poor mother be free from this horrid debt... dunno the outcome though.
Probably that's why the guy didn't jump? Nevertheless, thank God he didn't.
Went for Nokia Starlight Cinema at the Padang in the evening to watch Madagascar. Didn't stay through the end coz Abby seemed like she'd finished watching the movie... about 40 minutes of it, and we were ready to go. (I've a deadline due tomorrow!!) She was absolutely adorable! Dancing to the movie soundtrack, amazed by the lion (she said 'RAI-ON!' today when my MIL pointed to a toy lion on the bookshelf) and puzzled by the zebra (never seen one before). She kept wanting Ben & I to sit close together and just enjoyed cuddling up with us during the movie. Later, I asked her if she wanted to go home, and she shook her head! :D Ben & I both witnessed it! Amazing! :) We know she declines offer for more food by shaking her head, but to our questions? Astounding. :) But she started playing with her toys and sucking her thumb, so we kinda knew it was time to go. It was definitely a sweet aftertaste.
Thought of the day - it doesn't matter how good or bad the appetiter, soup of the day, main course tastes; what matters is the dessert and its sweet aftertaste.
Back to my assignment.
Witnessed two near deaths today. As I was driving to school towards Adam Road, I saw something on the road, something small. Suddenly, I realised what it was and I quickly swerved (slightly) to the left. It was a kitten, crouching on the second lane of the filter lane - still alive! It's about the size of an adult's palm, and just very frightened and frozen. About 10m ahead, I saw a guy get out of the car and walk towards the kitten. Hopefully he's the hero of that poor little one, and got there before any careless driver ran over it. The driver behind me swerved as well...
When I got to school, I saw a couple of guys putting this red and white tape, cordoning off blocks 2 and 7. Saw a plastic bag on the floor, thought it might be some bomb hoax. Everyone seemed to be going somewhere, on their mobiles talking. Walked into LT5 and then when the rest started streaming in, I overheard - 'on the latch', 'blue jeans', 'seated', 'going to jump'. Later, our lecturer came in and got us to observe a minute's silence (in prayer) for the guy up there who's severely depressed and is about to jump. From admin block. I was wondering, "Where on earth are all the psychologists in NIE?" (Later, Ben told me they might be probably rushing assignments... how sad. He could be right.)
After lecture, everything was gone. No tape, no police tentage, thank God. The guy didn't jump. Read from some blog that he'd have broken his toenail if he tried to jump coz NIE buildings are probably 3cm tall... :P Found out his name and which year he's in from a friend. Also, I was told that a female trainee teacher jumped to her death last year and her mum still has to pay off her bond!! Apparently they were passing a petition around to help her poor mother be free from this horrid debt... dunno the outcome though.
Probably that's why the guy didn't jump? Nevertheless, thank God he didn't.
Went for Nokia Starlight Cinema at the Padang in the evening to watch Madagascar. Didn't stay through the end coz Abby seemed like she'd finished watching the movie... about 40 minutes of it, and we were ready to go. (I've a deadline due tomorrow!!) She was absolutely adorable! Dancing to the movie soundtrack, amazed by the lion (she said 'RAI-ON!' today when my MIL pointed to a toy lion on the bookshelf) and puzzled by the zebra (never seen one before). She kept wanting Ben & I to sit close together and just enjoyed cuddling up with us during the movie. Later, I asked her if she wanted to go home, and she shook her head! :D Ben & I both witnessed it! Amazing! :) We know she declines offer for more food by shaking her head, but to our questions? Astounding. :) But she started playing with her toys and sucking her thumb, so we kinda knew it was time to go. It was definitely a sweet aftertaste.
Thought of the day - it doesn't matter how good or bad the appetiter, soup of the day, main course tastes; what matters is the dessert and its sweet aftertaste.
Back to my assignment.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Suddenly! Teeth!
I was playing with Abby in the afternoon as she refused to go down for a nap and mindlessly sticking my fingers into her mouth. (Yup. DON'T do that. It's the same as doing it to a shark.) Suddenly! I felt A LOT OF TEETH!! All coming out! I wandered around her mouth and found her:
* Upper Right Cuspid (Canine)
* Upper Right First Molar
* Lower Right Cuspid
* Upper Left First Molar
all coming out at the same time... Teething is *never* funny. She's been drooly for quite a while, but after this brave attempt of venturing into her mouth, I found all the pointed edges of these pearlies peeping out. She found it funny. I found it scary. All her incisors are out already, and we've been brushing them religiously. (Must form habit from young mah...) Now got somemore! Really pray that this time will be fuss-free. It's been so, but she's been delighting herself in bouts of screaming sessions - partly to her the maximum of her own voice, and partly to get our attention. :P
Wait... a minute! She's only 13 months old... the Cuspids are due only much later! It's definitely a conspiracy! :S
Monday, September 12, 2005
Service on Sunday
Finally things have settled down into somewhat of a routine during church service. When Abby was first born, I remember just shuttling in and out of the hall, breastfeeding, changing diaper, breastfeeding again, and changing diaper again. It was neverending, especially during service. I knew I desperately needed God's word, but just simply couldn't manage myself. However, by observing the parents around me - like the Wilsons, Siew Fun & Daniel, Chloe & Desmond, Li Har & hubby, now Tim & Adeline, they've set a good example for me to follow - to have my heart at God's word yet still be able to manage the little one. (Some of them have quite a few little ones.)
So the last two Sundays, I've managed to keep my butt planted on the seat and resist going to the nursery to 'check on Abby' knowing she's well in the hands of Lina. (I'm not at home most of the time and Abby's doing fine also.) And through being still and knowing that God is God, He has spken - personally, corporately and through the sermon.
I shared a few posts ago about being on the altar. Yesterday, God showed me another vision. He revealed to me His heartbeat for the lost - and I just kept crying and crying. He showed me a multitude of people worshiping Him - kneeling in praise - in the heavenlies, and I was in the middle of the crowd, kneeling and worshiping also. I couldn't see the end of the crowd. Masses of people but very orderly, all worshiping - in spirit, in truth and in unity.
Then God revealed the land around me, around church. The people who have not heard the good news about Jesus Christ. We're often so blinded by our own 'responsibilities and busy-ness' and we think some supersonic evangelist will reach the unreached. Yet God showed me otherwise. As He showed me the land unreached - just in the neighbourhood - not some place in Swahili - He revealed to me His heartache. And it was a tremendous heartache. I just wept uncontrollably. Then through a prophetic revelation - the ministries need to be unity to reach the lost - it shed new light. To me, unity has always been - everyone hold hands, sing song. That superficial. Yet, when the leaders just went up and received prayer from the body of Christ, I comprehended the full purpose of unity - it's not simply to worship God. It's to reach the people through these ministries. It's for the people - reached and unreached - besides worshiping God through our ministry - because - everything we do, we do it unto the Lord.
The sermon was equally impactful. It was about people who run away from their problems. I was pretty amazed at how Rev Harvey Walker, a guest speaker, was able to preach a sermon from the context of the book of Ruth in the bible, rather than conventionally preaching from the meat of the story - where Ruth meets Boaz and they live happily ever after and become the ancestors of the Lord Jesus Christ.
The sermon - about people who run away from their problems - was based on Naomi (Ruth's mil) & her family running away from the famine. That's it. Well, they depended on what they saw with their physical eyes to solve their problems instead of allowing it to become a testimony of God's faithfulness and living by faith by trusting God for His direction; they live for their physical needs and not their spiritual needs. Lastly, they ignore the real source of the problem - which is - their hearts did not trust God. The pastor ended with asking us what types of soil our hearts were - one that cannot be planted with God's word, one which can be planted but is robbed away quickly, one that can be planted but gets choked up by the worries of life and the deceitfulness of wealth or one that's well-maintained and cleared of weeds?
God once revealed to me my heart's condition - one that's often choked up by the worries of life, Mark 4:18-19 "Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful." Then, He showed me the heart to desire for (in verse 20): "Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown."
With an unfertile heart, I can only head for disaster. But with a heart that is fertile, I will have a life that's pleasing to God. It's by God's grace that I'm alive today, and I can only live purposefully, instead of being worried, deceived and tempted by desires which is not for me. I pray I remember this for years to come.
So the last two Sundays, I've managed to keep my butt planted on the seat and resist going to the nursery to 'check on Abby' knowing she's well in the hands of Lina. (I'm not at home most of the time and Abby's doing fine also.) And through being still and knowing that God is God, He has spken - personally, corporately and through the sermon.
I shared a few posts ago about being on the altar. Yesterday, God showed me another vision. He revealed to me His heartbeat for the lost - and I just kept crying and crying. He showed me a multitude of people worshiping Him - kneeling in praise - in the heavenlies, and I was in the middle of the crowd, kneeling and worshiping also. I couldn't see the end of the crowd. Masses of people but very orderly, all worshiping - in spirit, in truth and in unity.
Then God revealed the land around me, around church. The people who have not heard the good news about Jesus Christ. We're often so blinded by our own 'responsibilities and busy-ness' and we think some supersonic evangelist will reach the unreached. Yet God showed me otherwise. As He showed me the land unreached - just in the neighbourhood - not some place in Swahili - He revealed to me His heartache. And it was a tremendous heartache. I just wept uncontrollably. Then through a prophetic revelation - the ministries need to be unity to reach the lost - it shed new light. To me, unity has always been - everyone hold hands, sing song. That superficial. Yet, when the leaders just went up and received prayer from the body of Christ, I comprehended the full purpose of unity - it's not simply to worship God. It's to reach the people through these ministries. It's for the people - reached and unreached - besides worshiping God through our ministry - because - everything we do, we do it unto the Lord.
The sermon was equally impactful. It was about people who run away from their problems. I was pretty amazed at how Rev Harvey Walker, a guest speaker, was able to preach a sermon from the context of the book of Ruth in the bible, rather than conventionally preaching from the meat of the story - where Ruth meets Boaz and they live happily ever after and become the ancestors of the Lord Jesus Christ.
The sermon - about people who run away from their problems - was based on Naomi (Ruth's mil) & her family running away from the famine. That's it. Well, they depended on what they saw with their physical eyes to solve their problems instead of allowing it to become a testimony of God's faithfulness and living by faith by trusting God for His direction; they live for their physical needs and not their spiritual needs. Lastly, they ignore the real source of the problem - which is - their hearts did not trust God. The pastor ended with asking us what types of soil our hearts were - one that cannot be planted with God's word, one which can be planted but is robbed away quickly, one that can be planted but gets choked up by the worries of life and the deceitfulness of wealth or one that's well-maintained and cleared of weeds?
God once revealed to me my heart's condition - one that's often choked up by the worries of life, Mark 4:18-19 "Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful." Then, He showed me the heart to desire for (in verse 20): "Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown."
With an unfertile heart, I can only head for disaster. But with a heart that is fertile, I will have a life that's pleasing to God. It's by God's grace that I'm alive today, and I can only live purposefully, instead of being worried, deceived and tempted by desires which is not for me. I pray I remember this for years to come.
Hullo world!
S/He's about 13 weeks now, moving smoothly into 2nd trimester. Very exciting! Abby was at Dr Yap's today also, and was thrilled at seeing the tv monitor! Actually she wanted to whack on the keyboard and fool around with the rollers. But Ben & Abby saw our new member of the family! :D
We think the foetus was very excited too! Kept bopping up and down in the womb! :D
P.S. Can you make heads or tails of the ultrasound scan? :)
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Today
Finished one presentation and one semantics assignment. Presentation didn't go too well... didn't put in enough effort, quite obvious I was smoking my way through. :P It's just a research proposal presentation, so lotsa tweaking to do. Cannot slack liao.
I love Tuesdays. It's fully packed and miraculously, somehow by the end of the day, I still have energy to hold a decent conversation. Because of wednesdays, thursdays and fridays. Two hour classes on wed, three hour session on thursday, and although a full day on friday, there's a nice lull in the middle of the week so that my system won't be scared into work.
But that's the trouble.
The pace has been so nice, I can't seem to get to work. I need to spend more time in the library and enjoy myself instead of rushing off home and just waste time doing dunno what. It's really not productive.
Have been thinking about going swimming regularly. My tummy's quite obvious, and sadly, it's still not the baby. It's really quite sad. I really hope that I won't put on too much weight by the end of this pregnancy. But most importantly, healthy baby, healthy mummy. :)
I gotta go k.o. Abby's been an absolute darling with her cute antics the whole day. Even when she didn't want to sleep just now, and Ben & I just pretended (okie, i pretended while Ben really did) to fall asleep while Abby was dancing away. Trying to con her to sleep lah. :) Heh. Anyway, I picked her up knowing she'd probably never fall asleep in her own bed, and gave her an absolutely ridiculous 'Beauty & The Beast' pop-up book (I'll talk more about that the next time - it's from Grandreams. Dun get from that publisher. It's bad.). She flipped through the book, then fell asleep. On her own. Lights out everyone! :)
I love Tuesdays. It's fully packed and miraculously, somehow by the end of the day, I still have energy to hold a decent conversation. Because of wednesdays, thursdays and fridays. Two hour classes on wed, three hour session on thursday, and although a full day on friday, there's a nice lull in the middle of the week so that my system won't be scared into work.
But that's the trouble.
The pace has been so nice, I can't seem to get to work. I need to spend more time in the library and enjoy myself instead of rushing off home and just waste time doing dunno what. It's really not productive.
Have been thinking about going swimming regularly. My tummy's quite obvious, and sadly, it's still not the baby. It's really quite sad. I really hope that I won't put on too much weight by the end of this pregnancy. But most importantly, healthy baby, healthy mummy. :)
I gotta go k.o. Abby's been an absolute darling with her cute antics the whole day. Even when she didn't want to sleep just now, and Ben & I just pretended (okie, i pretended while Ben really did) to fall asleep while Abby was dancing away. Trying to con her to sleep lah. :) Heh. Anyway, I picked her up knowing she'd probably never fall asleep in her own bed, and gave her an absolutely ridiculous 'Beauty & The Beast' pop-up book (I'll talk more about that the next time - it's from Grandreams. Dun get from that publisher. It's bad.). She flipped through the book, then fell asleep. On her own. Lights out everyone! :)
Monday, September 05, 2005
Eventful Sunday (Warning: Long Post)
GKGW
Went for CE (GKGW) class in the morning. Really glad we're out of the previous one and in this one. It's really very different. No one's claiming to be an expert; the facilitators believe that this is just one of the hundreds of parenting courses so we don't have to take it hook, line and sinker; it is not law so we don't have to feel guilty just because it's not working for us - they openly admit, some stuff works, some doesn't. So if something doesn't work, don't have to fret. They prayfully consider the principles presented and don't just take everything as gospel truth; there's no 'rebuke' when our children are out of line (like a 9mo going to another room without 'permission'- gosh! The poor parent from the previous course got a neat rebuke from our expert instructor because the child was supposed to hand-sign for permission. We were like, but that kid's less than a year old! But the instructor insisted that they could do it and should. Otherwise it's the parents' fault. :S)
We're just really glad that this current group (which is waaaaay cheaper than the previous one - they charge like about 2% of what we paid for the previous course!!) is a group that's teachable - even the instructors. You don't really get that with Ezzo-fied people because of the 'confidence' they have with parenting which can come across as otherwise. Instead of a 9-course meal where u must eat your portion of everything otherwise people will accuse you of wasting food, it's now a buffet where we can pick and choose. The onus is really up to us to prayfully consider the teachings instead of taking it as gospel truth. It's already hard enough when the book is of such a standard. It's even more difficult when the instructor has 'perfected' the art of child-rearing and expects perfection from the group - with their own additional 'fail-proof' techniques added in. Although initially it did give us a sense of confidence knowing that we were 'in the hands' of people who knew what was happening, later we realised that it wasn't such a wise move after all. Imagine after feeling all that horrendous guilt (we didn't perfect 'Preparation for Parenting' at all and felt an invisible oncoming rebuke during our reunion at previous course's first session of GKGW), I was really at my total defense at the 'new' (but cheaper) course. I was on all guard, but later, when I saw the attitudes of this new bunch, I was less afraid to be vulnerable. The facilitators are great. They come from a position of humility and don't thumb people down for doing wrong (well, then again, it's still too early to tell). But by not exalting this course to its highest has given me the confidence listen to what's being offered and be able to frown at what I think is unacceptable. Most importantly, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us, provided we're willing to listen to Him and not shut Him out of the class (and the course).
Service
Paid attention during service today. It's really quite rare - eversince Abby's been born, somehow I never had the perseverance to sit through the whole sermon. It really takes self-discipline to sit through and trust my helper (as well as those committed people at the nursery) to take care of Abby while we - the parents, listen to God's word. Charlotte was sharing with me that the folks at the nursery love the kids to bits. It's just that it's the parents who are holding on to their kids so tightly, so the people in charge can't and don't have to perform their duties. I believe it's really important for the parent (at least one - instead of none if both are in the nursery) to listen to God's word and impart to the family after that. If the child becomes all that important and becomes 'god', then what's the point of going church? Might as well stay at home! It is really my responsibility as a parent to receive then impart to my children. If I don't receive, then what will I impart? I've realised that it helps to be prepared for sermon - like how we're supposed to prepared for lectures. Download the sermon outline that's available on the website and then listen accordingly. The teachings we get in school is only to get us through our projects, assignments and exams. But the teachings in church are to get us through life. Otherwise, we'll find ourselves often frantic and frazzled, living by our own strength. I must say, it really takes alot of self-discipline to keep the mind focused and the butt planted on the chair duriing service. The temptation to run to the nursery, even just to check on Abby, is really great. But I need to trust that Lina will be able to take care of her. If not, she'll tell me so. We all have our parts to play, and we need to do it well.
Audition and Late Lunch
Had music audition after service. It's really rigorous! So many tests! During our fast and slow song solo, I panicked. Kinda didn't know how and what I was singing. I was really off...:P But thank God the testers were kind and gave us positive and constructive feedback. We'll be put on probation and see how we progress - especially in our conduct and commitment. I've been contemplating for a long time whether and where to serve in ministry - for a long time because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to juggle my commitments. But I also realised that commitments will get more demanding, whether I choose to serve or not. It's really up to me to invest my time well, instead of letting the demands around me rip me apart. It's just investing in the Quadrant 2. Last week, I had a vision - I was in the outer courts and was slowly drawn to the inner courts. Next I saw an altar. After that, I saw myself on the altar, lying down, untied. It was pure trust that I didn't run off the altar - that trust in the Lord that God was showing me. I knew within me I had the choice whether to stay or to go. I wasn't tied. Strange thing is - this is all from a 3rd person perspective. Next, a fire swept all over me. I was burnt. Burnt offering. And what was left was just a bit of gold. Not much. Just a bit - a handful. The rest became ashes.
After that, a prophetic word was released. About sacrificing ourselves on the altar of God. Wow. God showed it to me even before the release of the word. He was showing me that the gold was what I chose to invest my life in - things that will survive the fire and are purified. The rest is pretty much ashes. It's quite sobering - can you imagine, at the end of your life, you are told that it didn't amount to much actually? To me, my life has a purpose - simply because I was unwanted as a child (well, foetus actually), I know that God wants me here, not humans, and for that, I owe my life here to Him. Yet, so often, I waste my life away - giving excuses etc. And contributing only sporadically. I'm just glad there's just time for redemption.
Anyway, back to the audition. After the audition - which was about 2.30pm, our cell (who waited for Patrick and myself) went for lunch together. They all waited for us and cheered us on! :D I was really very touched. We usually finish around 12.30pm, but auditions started close to 1, and they all waited for us. I was really glad to see so many familiar faces while on stage. Abby was happily playing with them! :)
Granny's Place & Lina
We went to granny's place (after a long hiatus) for her nasi lemak. Just glad to be there. I realised that her Sunday 'boycott' had a target! She usually cooks for her youngest daughter and her son, so on Sundays, the additional people are us and my mum. Coz my mum returns from Sawang late and we are not openly enthusiastic about Sunday dinners, come eat then go, Granny stopped cooking on Sundays. But on other days she'll still cook for the rest of the family. So it's really our terrible attitudes and lack of visible gratefulness that caused her to stop cooking. Thank God Abby's there to make peace (and score redemption points). She'll loudly and endearingly call out 'AH-MAH!' (well, this term applies to quite a no of people, possibly much to my MIL's dismay, but she doesn't know :P) and my granny's heart just melted. :D That happened last Sunday when we dropped my mum's purchases for my granny off at her place, possibly that's why this Sunday she cooked dinner! :D
Well, after we had dinner, we were playing with Abby. My aunt told me that Lina was having a toothache. When I saw Lina, I was astounded. She had such a huge swell on her lower right jaw! I never noticed it! Later, I asked to see her tooth and saw a HUGE cavity. Her jaw just swelled throughout the day and we didn't even noticed! At first we said we'd take her to the polyclinic dentist the next day, but Ben felt we should get it checked asap. So we went hunting around for a dentist at 9pm on Sunday night. We found one but had closed at 9pm - we were there at 9.18pm. Ben called the Serangoon Central Branch and found they were still opened. The not too happy nurse was telling ben they had two other patients, and asked why we have to come so late, cannot come earlier. :P Ben described Lina's condition to her and asked if it was serious - if not we could go the next day. The nurse replied - swell so big already, of course very serious! So we zoomed down to the clinic. Thank God for the doc - Dr Yap Kin Wai. He's excellent - very patient and described everything in detail in Mandarin to Lina. Poor girl - never extracted a tooth in her life! Took an x-ray and saw the huge cavity! She's got an impacted tooth as well. Dr mentioned that she had quite a bit of gum problems - potential swelling eruptions anytime. So he labouriously yanked out her tooth after a ten-fifteen minute struggle. She's got super long roots! Dr mentioned to her that if the roots break, may have to do surgery. I was there praying for God to help remove the whole tooth intact! Otherwise it'll be expensive! It was a really very tough extraction.
As he made the diagnosis initially, I asked the dr if the swelling would go down after the extraction. He had a very worried and serious look on his face. He said that he'll remove the tooth and clear the whole lot of pus that was causing the swelling, but if it doesn't improve and the infection continues (like in the middle of the night), Lina needs to notify us because it may continue swelling and suffocate her! It could have been fatal! Imagine if we hadn't taken her to the dentist... She's given a lot of medication and has to return for a review next Sunday evening. Meanwhile, we're praying. Last nite was okie, she's still alive but the swelling hasn't gone down though. Huge bump.
Others
As that was happening, I was quite worried for my assignment - deadline on 5th Sep 4.30pm. I wanted to do my assignment Sunday evening, but by the time we returned from the clinic, it was 11pm. Then I received a mail from my lecturer - the deadline's been postponed to 6th Sept 12nn!! :D Praise the Lord! Time to start on my assignment! Well, got a presentation due on the 6th as well... :P back to work!
Went for CE (GKGW) class in the morning. Really glad we're out of the previous one and in this one. It's really very different. No one's claiming to be an expert; the facilitators believe that this is just one of the hundreds of parenting courses so we don't have to take it hook, line and sinker; it is not law so we don't have to feel guilty just because it's not working for us - they openly admit, some stuff works, some doesn't. So if something doesn't work, don't have to fret. They prayfully consider the principles presented and don't just take everything as gospel truth; there's no 'rebuke' when our children are out of line (like a 9mo going to another room without 'permission'- gosh! The poor parent from the previous course got a neat rebuke from our expert instructor because the child was supposed to hand-sign for permission. We were like, but that kid's less than a year old! But the instructor insisted that they could do it and should. Otherwise it's the parents' fault. :S)
We're just really glad that this current group (which is waaaaay cheaper than the previous one - they charge like about 2% of what we paid for the previous course!!) is a group that's teachable - even the instructors. You don't really get that with Ezzo-fied people because of the 'confidence' they have with parenting which can come across as otherwise. Instead of a 9-course meal where u must eat your portion of everything otherwise people will accuse you of wasting food, it's now a buffet where we can pick and choose. The onus is really up to us to prayfully consider the teachings instead of taking it as gospel truth. It's already hard enough when the book is of such a standard. It's even more difficult when the instructor has 'perfected' the art of child-rearing and expects perfection from the group - with their own additional 'fail-proof' techniques added in. Although initially it did give us a sense of confidence knowing that we were 'in the hands' of people who knew what was happening, later we realised that it wasn't such a wise move after all. Imagine after feeling all that horrendous guilt (we didn't perfect 'Preparation for Parenting' at all and felt an invisible oncoming rebuke during our reunion at previous course's first session of GKGW), I was really at my total defense at the 'new' (but cheaper) course. I was on all guard, but later, when I saw the attitudes of this new bunch, I was less afraid to be vulnerable. The facilitators are great. They come from a position of humility and don't thumb people down for doing wrong (well, then again, it's still too early to tell). But by not exalting this course to its highest has given me the confidence listen to what's being offered and be able to frown at what I think is unacceptable. Most importantly, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us, provided we're willing to listen to Him and not shut Him out of the class (and the course).
Service
Paid attention during service today. It's really quite rare - eversince Abby's been born, somehow I never had the perseverance to sit through the whole sermon. It really takes self-discipline to sit through and trust my helper (as well as those committed people at the nursery) to take care of Abby while we - the parents, listen to God's word. Charlotte was sharing with me that the folks at the nursery love the kids to bits. It's just that it's the parents who are holding on to their kids so tightly, so the people in charge can't and don't have to perform their duties. I believe it's really important for the parent (at least one - instead of none if both are in the nursery) to listen to God's word and impart to the family after that. If the child becomes all that important and becomes 'god', then what's the point of going church? Might as well stay at home! It is really my responsibility as a parent to receive then impart to my children. If I don't receive, then what will I impart? I've realised that it helps to be prepared for sermon - like how we're supposed to prepared for lectures. Download the sermon outline that's available on the website and then listen accordingly. The teachings we get in school is only to get us through our projects, assignments and exams. But the teachings in church are to get us through life. Otherwise, we'll find ourselves often frantic and frazzled, living by our own strength. I must say, it really takes alot of self-discipline to keep the mind focused and the butt planted on the chair duriing service. The temptation to run to the nursery, even just to check on Abby, is really great. But I need to trust that Lina will be able to take care of her. If not, she'll tell me so. We all have our parts to play, and we need to do it well.
Audition and Late Lunch
Had music audition after service. It's really rigorous! So many tests! During our fast and slow song solo, I panicked. Kinda didn't know how and what I was singing. I was really off...:P But thank God the testers were kind and gave us positive and constructive feedback. We'll be put on probation and see how we progress - especially in our conduct and commitment. I've been contemplating for a long time whether and where to serve in ministry - for a long time because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to juggle my commitments. But I also realised that commitments will get more demanding, whether I choose to serve or not. It's really up to me to invest my time well, instead of letting the demands around me rip me apart. It's just investing in the Quadrant 2. Last week, I had a vision - I was in the outer courts and was slowly drawn to the inner courts. Next I saw an altar. After that, I saw myself on the altar, lying down, untied. It was pure trust that I didn't run off the altar - that trust in the Lord that God was showing me. I knew within me I had the choice whether to stay or to go. I wasn't tied. Strange thing is - this is all from a 3rd person perspective. Next, a fire swept all over me. I was burnt. Burnt offering. And what was left was just a bit of gold. Not much. Just a bit - a handful. The rest became ashes.
After that, a prophetic word was released. About sacrificing ourselves on the altar of God. Wow. God showed it to me even before the release of the word. He was showing me that the gold was what I chose to invest my life in - things that will survive the fire and are purified. The rest is pretty much ashes. It's quite sobering - can you imagine, at the end of your life, you are told that it didn't amount to much actually? To me, my life has a purpose - simply because I was unwanted as a child (well, foetus actually), I know that God wants me here, not humans, and for that, I owe my life here to Him. Yet, so often, I waste my life away - giving excuses etc. And contributing only sporadically. I'm just glad there's just time for redemption.
Anyway, back to the audition. After the audition - which was about 2.30pm, our cell (who waited for Patrick and myself) went for lunch together. They all waited for us and cheered us on! :D I was really very touched. We usually finish around 12.30pm, but auditions started close to 1, and they all waited for us. I was really glad to see so many familiar faces while on stage. Abby was happily playing with them! :)
Granny's Place & Lina
We went to granny's place (after a long hiatus) for her nasi lemak. Just glad to be there. I realised that her Sunday 'boycott' had a target! She usually cooks for her youngest daughter and her son, so on Sundays, the additional people are us and my mum. Coz my mum returns from Sawang late and we are not openly enthusiastic about Sunday dinners, come eat then go, Granny stopped cooking on Sundays. But on other days she'll still cook for the rest of the family. So it's really our terrible attitudes and lack of visible gratefulness that caused her to stop cooking. Thank God Abby's there to make peace (and score redemption points). She'll loudly and endearingly call out 'AH-MAH!' (well, this term applies to quite a no of people, possibly much to my MIL's dismay, but she doesn't know :P) and my granny's heart just melted. :D That happened last Sunday when we dropped my mum's purchases for my granny off at her place, possibly that's why this Sunday she cooked dinner! :D
Well, after we had dinner, we were playing with Abby. My aunt told me that Lina was having a toothache. When I saw Lina, I was astounded. She had such a huge swell on her lower right jaw! I never noticed it! Later, I asked to see her tooth and saw a HUGE cavity. Her jaw just swelled throughout the day and we didn't even noticed! At first we said we'd take her to the polyclinic dentist the next day, but Ben felt we should get it checked asap. So we went hunting around for a dentist at 9pm on Sunday night. We found one but had closed at 9pm - we were there at 9.18pm. Ben called the Serangoon Central Branch and found they were still opened. The not too happy nurse was telling ben they had two other patients, and asked why we have to come so late, cannot come earlier. :P Ben described Lina's condition to her and asked if it was serious - if not we could go the next day. The nurse replied - swell so big already, of course very serious! So we zoomed down to the clinic. Thank God for the doc - Dr Yap Kin Wai. He's excellent - very patient and described everything in detail in Mandarin to Lina. Poor girl - never extracted a tooth in her life! Took an x-ray and saw the huge cavity! She's got an impacted tooth as well. Dr mentioned that she had quite a bit of gum problems - potential swelling eruptions anytime. So he labouriously yanked out her tooth after a ten-fifteen minute struggle. She's got super long roots! Dr mentioned to her that if the roots break, may have to do surgery. I was there praying for God to help remove the whole tooth intact! Otherwise it'll be expensive! It was a really very tough extraction.
As he made the diagnosis initially, I asked the dr if the swelling would go down after the extraction. He had a very worried and serious look on his face. He said that he'll remove the tooth and clear the whole lot of pus that was causing the swelling, but if it doesn't improve and the infection continues (like in the middle of the night), Lina needs to notify us because it may continue swelling and suffocate her! It could have been fatal! Imagine if we hadn't taken her to the dentist... She's given a lot of medication and has to return for a review next Sunday evening. Meanwhile, we're praying. Last nite was okie, she's still alive but the swelling hasn't gone down though. Huge bump.
Others
As that was happening, I was quite worried for my assignment - deadline on 5th Sep 4.30pm. I wanted to do my assignment Sunday evening, but by the time we returned from the clinic, it was 11pm. Then I received a mail from my lecturer - the deadline's been postponed to 6th Sept 12nn!! :D Praise the Lord! Time to start on my assignment! Well, got a presentation due on the 6th as well... :P back to work!
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Week 6
For the past 5 semesters, I've been able to kickstart my engine and be in full swing by Week 6 of the Semester. It's almost the end of Week 6, and I've just been kicking dust. Concentrate... I've got a presentation due next tuesday (*just* got a handle on what to present for my research proposal), 3 weeks of voice production journal writing not done, HUGE stack of reading to do, and a deadline on Monday on Semantics. I need more efficiency & productivity (since I can't ask for more time). Guess I've almost perfected the art of procrastination - busying myself with stuff that really isn't worth it.
Oh. Happy Teacher's Day to all those who've signed their lives away to MOE (myself included - and those who miraculously are still staying on although you've completed your bond!) and to those teachers who aren't from Singapore! =D Enjoy the few hours left.
P.S. Please continue to pray for New Orleans as they recover from the aftermath of Katrina.
Oh. Happy Teacher's Day to all those who've signed their lives away to MOE (myself included - and those who miraculously are still staying on although you've completed your bond!) and to those teachers who aren't from Singapore! =D Enjoy the few hours left.
P.S. Please continue to pray for New Orleans as they recover from the aftermath of Katrina.
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