Eh BEE!!

Abby waved Bye Bye today!! :D Yeah! :D

Spent the day today at Sennett's - mum's new place. Not much furniture = big fat echos of Joy's bark. So now, to Abby, Joy is officially known as 'OH'. When she struts along, Abby would 'OH'. Humans qualify for a 'EH'. Yah. Clever girl right?

It's almost June! A few more days and we're off to the camp! I'm actually really excited about KL. I hate to travel without Ben. Eversince that HK trip which I took without him in 1999, I told myself never to travel without him. I wanted to fly back almost immediately when I touched HK. It was *that* bad. Missed him superly.

This week gotta let abby stay at home more, coz she'll not be around next week. Hmmm... I have to plan my time carefully, and most importantly, pack the CARGO which has enough barang for the whole of the Chinese population! Oh, and as of now, she hates whatever she's been eating ever since she started solids. I'm in trouble.

Teaching and Thoughts

Dead tired but have been thinking quite a bit regarding teaching. I see my NIE peers who've graduated and ploughing away in schools and I feel really helpless. I see the overwhelming load, and I think if I'll survive. Although I still do get all excited about teaching (even when I see schools I get a rush. Yes, I'm a lil' mad... :D) I really don't know what's going to happen when I graduate.

I feel like after being so long in NIE, I've kinda lost touch with kids etc. Somehow I think that I had more rapport with my kids before i went into NIE, yet using my practicums as comparison doesn't do me any good either - basically there wasn't time for rapport etc. It was quite task oriented, and hardly any chance for relationship building. It didn't help that I was overjoyed with being pregnant with abby and forgetting everything else... :)

I know the free time I have now is really limited and I'm really making the best of almost every minute. It's so easy to nuah away the time and just lament that all's gone, yet knowing that this 'freedom' will never return makes me cherish it even more. Abby would be the most privileged child we'll ever have I think... the privilege of having mum and dad around. At least for a while. Thereafter we'll really need to stick to our priorities. I love school tonnes... i mean in primary schools. There's an unexplainable adrenaline rush... I must say that God has really granted me favour with my contract and relief school, and by that I've really enjoyed teaching. My Dip-posted school was a different matter - i couldn't wait to get out of there!! (I was accepted by NIE and was looking forward to my one semester off!! :D) My practicum was also very enjoyable... I had great CTs. Very encouraging. Even the one I was afraid of turned out to be really sweet! She bought a pair of socks for abby (i was still pregnant then) and wanted to be abby's godma!! :D heheh... she's real sweet. :)

As for priorities, Ben has really walked the talk. He has challenged himself to prioritise his devotional time as well as family time, and God has duly rewarded him with productivity and excellence in his work. God literally directs him in his work! And as a result, great favour with his bosses and colleagues!! :D He really sacrificed time at work to meet his priorities, and God has been faithful. I'm challenged and awed.

Right now, I know that this is preparation time for the next lap. I don't think I'm really satisfied with my last semester's work (results not out yet) because it was really new territory for me, and I was rather unprepared. I ended up firefighting and procrastinating alot. Not good at all. I pray that next sem, I'll be more organised. :) Like in my dip years... (but looking back at my previous entries, I don't think I was *that* organised either.) Definitely God's grace!

In the midst of packing the study (still...), and I really hope to be inspired coz I'm stuck with many things and alot of space but somehow I need to re-analyse my space allocation. If I'm not happy with the location, I'll have the tendency to keep changing it... and it wastes alot of time. Not worth it!

I miss my aunt and her family. She messaged me the other day and I really wished we were all there with her. Sigh. Today, I hunted for my granny (usually my aunt takes excellent care of her) but couldn't find her. Some problem with her phone, and she also fell down on last thursday, so she complained about her foot. Taking her to the doc tomorrow. Heartpain lah, see her liddat.

Leaving for church camp next week. I really hope Eve will be able to receive from the Lord. I really need to prepare my heart also, especially when I'm easily distracted (esp by abby!!) But to impart life to Abby, I must first receive life from the Life-giver. She has been such a blessing and a joy. Ben managed to share with his mum that during my pregnancy, we really prayed very often that she'll be a blessing to the family! And for her to be sweet-spirited and joyful. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness.

She's amazing. She'll lean forward to hug Vic, they'll exchange toys (one's coming 10mths while the other's coming 9), they'll kiss each other, and today, according to my mil who gave her a rusk, she was eating it, then she offered my mil! :) She then declined and abby went on eating, and then offered again!! :) My fil was so impressed! And they both know she hasn't been taught to offer yet. :) Wow. Praise the Lord. :)

She's learnt how to 'Eh'. Like Ben's buddies. Really cute. She'll be playing with her granny, laughing and all, and when Ben steps into the room, she'll turn to him and then 'Eh!' him. :) Heheheh... Keeps doing that to people. And she'll keep smiling sweetly at Eve! Heheh.. Quite amazing. Both the babies look alike (and the helpers also!) And we keep swopping babies, people around us (my relatives coz vic and eve were over at my aunt's 'house cooling', and church friends) are so confused! :D I really hope we'll all have a fantastic time at the church camp! :)

Transition & Thanksgiving

Mum's moving over to Senett soon... the movers *have* shipped some stuff over although Choo E.E. did ask today when the movers were coming when she stopped by at Bedok Reservoir. My sentiments exactly. That place still looks polluted. And messy. I really pity the new tenants. We really have to clean up that place before it can be rented out. :)

Mike, Michelle & Mattie are really leaving soon. It's really not a joke after all. Ok. I'm not *that* in denial. I know they're leaving. But it's just slowly starting to hit me. Although I don't like to think about it. Still I have to come to terms with it. And I am slowly doing that. Well. It's only Sydney right? :S

Likewise, we've started our 'building fund' officially. Soon. The time is coming.

We've also agreed that we'll turn Abby in for her bedtime after the Family Altar at least twice a week, aiming for nightly, if at all possible. :) Well, we've gotta start the family tradition somehow right? :D

Also, I've been so blessed by my mum. She bought a massage treatment by Slimcare for me and we went for their services today. Mum couldn't do hers coz of her heart problem, so she went for a facial instead (although she just had one on Sunday). I did mine - scrub, steam bath and aromatherapy massage. My therapist - Gina - was great! (Although she looked really fierce at first and seemed really peranakan without the sarong kebaya but with the bun etc.) She unknotted my muscles and didn't engage in small talk till much later (thank God). And the post-consultation a.k.a. the sales talk was really brief coz my mum had that firm look on her face and we told them we're rushing for time. That worked! :D

P.S. Thanks guys for ur notes, esp to hy and Nadir - thanks ;) *touched* Love you too! And Vince - you've been most affirming and encouraging. Ben & I are eternally grateful for a cheerleader like you! :)

Holidays & Blessings

It's almost close to a month since the holidays started end-April. It seems like I've been trying to pack so many activities in for Abby and myself that stuff at home has been neglected. We've got so many toys at home, but very little time for Abby to play with them. It might not be a bad thing though; when I'm not around, she can have fun with them. :)

I'm glad Ben & I have straightened some stuff out regarding issues that have been left undiscussed thoroughly. Meaning: One of us knows what's happening/what the plans are, but not the other party, or we've undefined expectations. I'm really glad we've been able to stay on track to resolve issues rather than be diverted and then not settle stuff. It may sound ambiguous, but since it's rather confidential, I can't really say right? :D

We've ironed out our priorities - our relationship with God, then with each other (and our own family), then work. Not easy - because work always expands to fill whatever time available. Two weeks to deadline? We'll take two weeks. Two hours? Then die die must finish in two hours' time. *That* kind of logic.

We've also ironed out our expenses. That's an area God's been challenging me also - to put my faith in Him. So far we've been so blessed - things big and small. I was just sharing with Ben and Eve that the toys, which I've been wanting to get for Abby but coz I need to learn to spend wisely, have all come in! :D It's been great, and we're really overflowing. :)

Also, Ben's been really stretched, yet blessed workwise. He's been having great favour with his colleagues and bosses, and though he has been putting in alot of time in his work, his efficiency level has been increasing, and so has his confidence. :) Although there've been nites which he works till like 5am in the morning, he really tries to put in the effort to spend time with us so that he won't miss out on Abby's babyhood. :)

Abby's been a joy also. She seems like she's not so anxious about strangers already! :) I've been taking her out, and she's been initiating contact with strangers - smiles, giggles, etc with people at the next table or just passers-by! :D Also with her great-grandma, which is a huge relief to me. She has been rather grouchy whenever her great-grandma greets her, so that really affects the old lady alot. Yesterday I brought Abby to her place, and she was just superly happy! :)

Probably will continue penning thoughts down when I return this evening, coz I'm running late for my next appointment. :)

Oh, by the way, if you've been visiting my blog, thanks for visiting, and do leave a note if that's fine with you k? :)

Broken

Haven't been blogging awhile. Have been running around like a headless chicken, bringing Abby and my helper out. To where? Sometimes I don't know either. Just out of the house. Well, that doesn't stop Abby from missing people at home - really obviously. And this mother of hers is just so stranded. So many emotions have been rushing through me... Thank God Ben has been truly supportive and nurturing although he's just sooooo busy.

I've got so much to blog about, yet I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I'm just thinking: can I still vent here when my real world is reading my blog? People whom I care about - and people who may reject me for knowing who I truly am?

Ben told me, "Don't forget that I love you." I replied, "Often, I even have difficulty remembering that God loves me."
"Why?" asked Ben.

Long pause.

"Because I'm unlovable."

And to think the person who shows me the most love is leaving for Sydney soon. When I was at their house on Thursday, I saw the place being emptied. And I couldn't stop my tears from falling. I cannot believe iit. A big part of my foundation taken away right from beneath me. I am broken once again.

Everytime I think about it, I can't help but break down. I don't know if I can say farewell. The one who has loved me the most, and even gave me my name, is leaving. How I wish I could leave with her. Help. I am broken once again.

When I was born,
people rejected me.
Yet, you were there,
Young.
Yet you loved me,
Like your own.

When I grew up,
when I went through life,
You were there every step of the way.
You loved me
even when I was unlovable.

When you got married,
you gave me the honour
of being your bridesmaid.
A true honour
which I can't reciprocate.

When you had your baby,
you gave me the honour
of being his godma.
An even higher honour
which I can't reciprocate.

You have given so much,
loved so much,
and suffered so much.
Yet, you still gave
so freely.

I can only say,
God has blessed me with this angel
He calls,
"Michelle".

Quiz

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart

Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome

Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand

And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?


What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)


Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

05.05.05: Singapore Zoological Gardens

I'm so glad I managed to take Abby to the zoo today! Lina went along to look see as well as to help me! :) Hehe... I dunno if I can manage without her. It's a rather odd day. When we were preparing to go out, I sensed some tension. Well, I've been guilty of going out with abby almost everyday, but what to do? Really wanna make up for lost time! :P Anyway, so today my mil bathed abby and then asked where we were going. Well, to the zoo of course! :) She asked if it was with eve. Well, I said, just the three of us - abby, lina and me. Then she asked why go when the weather's so hot? Hmm... think she abit reluctant to let us go out. Well, I replied - either it's hot, or it's raining. Then she laughed abit. Break the tension lah. Then she asked, abby so young dun need to go zoo. (See she quite reluctant coz I think she miss abby lah...) Well, I explained to her aobut Mattie my godson. His mum has been taking him to the zoo before he could even walk, and now, when his UK brothers come to visit, he can take them on a guided tour of the zoo!! And he's only 3!! His mum bought the zoo membership and they go there *very* often. And I added, the daily walks that my aunt and uncle take with mattie has resulted in him knowing all the various species of plantlife along the stretch they take every day. So, my mil relented. :D Well, think we'll be at home tomorrow morning and go run errands in the afternoon! :D

So we headed off to the zoo. The driver (me) didn't know how to get there so I kinda scared Lina into reading the street directory. Heh. So notti of me! :P Anyway, I told her no need about a minute later and just keep an eye out for the zoo signage. :)

Glad Abby took a nap on the way there. We took quite a while because I had to grab breakfast and Lina had to return to the house coz she had forgotten something.



See how grumpy she was when we left the house? It was way past her nap time.

This is when she just woke up when we finally arrived at the zoo!



It was scorching hot, and as we fed her, we were dripping in perspiration. She was really intrigued by the sounds the gibbons made! :) We walked around and had a rather good time. Saw quite a few animals (what else do you see at the zoo?) and abby was really excited! She was in a jolly good mood throughout! :) Kept talking, even to strangers and even let a stranger hold her! It was quite scary actually, coz before we barely sat down at the Elephant Show arena, this Indian lady offered to carry her and I just let her! GOD! What was I thinking! Well, I was hoping abby would cry, but she didn't, and I was ready to pounce of her if she ran off with abby! Thankfully the announcer came on and I took abby back. She was just a nice lady, thank God. Scary!!!

Abby really enjoyed herself!





She was such an angel. Stuck even closer to the routine then normal! Usually she'll knock out about after 3 hrs of wake time, but this was about 2 hrs plus later! :) We had our lunch in peace while she slept in the comforts of KFC airconditioning which was about 19deg Cel... soon, it started raining!



And stranger still, this Korean family came in with a baby about roughly the same age as abby or younger after Abby woke up from her nap. It was still raining. He was drenched from playing water at the Children's Playland and was topless. The mother didn't even bother to towel him dry or wrap him in anything! Just sat there and ate her lunch while her baby was sitting there dripping wet in only a pair of shorts. (Can you see them in the upper right corner?) It was only after when the mother finished her lunch then an elderly lady (presumably the mum or mil) dressed him in his t-shirt. Korea must be damn cold. The father just sat there eating his lunch while their two older kids (can see the daughter) ate theirs. Really strange. And really strong baby. Maybe that's why the baby's so strong. *scary!*



Anyway, the Playland looked really fun! :)



Oh another strange incident. We were trying to get out of the Elephant Show arena in the rain because a couple of people were smoking near us, but decided to stop another pavillion instead because our umbrella was too tiny. There was this lady who was rather top-heavy, and from the looks of her physique and her double-strapped black spaghetti top, I guessed she was breastfeeding. Somehow breastfeeders can tell... :P Anyway, her little girl about 2yo ran up to her and then away again (on the bench), and she (the lady) stood up and then called her girl to come to her. As she did that, she just whipped out her left milk producing mammary gland WHILE STANDING UP, from the neckline of her spaghetti strap top!! She was like, Do you want to drink your milk!?! while cupping her glands, missile ready for projectile. It was scary. After her little girl saw it, she ran to her mum and tried to drink while standing up. This is in an area half-filled with people. Yes, breastfeeding is getting popular, but this... Wah. Scary. She then popped in back in again, then scooped her girl up to feed her discreetly. Which lasted for 30secs. Then the girl ran away again. It's really the elephant show man... No photos lah. What were u thinking? :P

So we got caught in the rain, that's why we saw all this. Overall, I had a great day with abby although to upkeep a lifestyle like this is a bit costlly. When we came back, I gave her a bath and really felt like a mother. :) (No one was at home, that's why i could bathe her lah.)

After her bath, we had a bit of tummy time and she can now push herself up on her knees!! :) Check out how she's checking her blind spot and reversing backwards! :D Hahah!! :D



Oh, Cheng San has a baby show coming up, and I quite admire my mil's faith. She enrolled abby in the 6-12mth Baby Crawling Competition! Coz she said it's on the 24th of July, so by then abby would have been crawling! :D

It's been really a fun day, and I really hope there's more to come! :D That is, before I get overwhelmed by teaching... :'(

Baby Banz & Bugis Junction

Mummy bought me sunglasses! We (Vic & I) went out to Bugis Junction coz Vic wanted to get a swimming costume. But just because we can't walk, our mummies had to come along with us. And just because they can't really understand us sometimes, they asked auntie Lina and Tina to help them. So we thought we could just have an easy time - just the both of us - but no... they had to make sure we were behaving ourselves!

Well, our mummies and our aunties took a really long time to eat. We had to yell a bit to get them moving, u know, we can't yell together because that takes too much energy. Anyway, one of us yell can already. Both of us have loud voices! So we took turns. It was quite fun! The uncles and aunties at the next tables really have no manners. Keep staring at us yell... wait till they have their own kids!! :P

Anyway, Vic got her swimsuit finally and auntie Eve is sooo nice! Bought Vic a swimsuit but didn't buy any for herself so that she can save more money for Vic! :)

Psst! If u pay attention carefully to the pictures, do you think we look alike? :D

Abby's 9 months old today!

It's been 9 months. 9 months of initial expectancy have blossomed into nine months of love, enjoyment and learning. You've brought so much joy into our lives it's unbelievable. Because of you I see passion for living. Because of your enjoyment for life I learn to take delight in things which I never took notice of before. You've put up with our nonsense, been absolutely tolerant of our errant behaviour, and marveled at our stupidity. Yet never, for once, have you blamed us. We owe u a great deal.

You've learnt to belly crawl backwards and have become more tolerant of being put on your belly. The way you rock your upper belly to our 'Yao-ah-Yao' is absolutely hilarious, yet it makes me wanna rock with you too. The way you clap is so cute, and we never know when we can catch your toothy smiles. You've got 6 teeth on your upper set and still 2 below. Those who don't pry open your mouth see only the charming pair of pearly whites greet them whenever you smile your lovely smile.

You've been ill abit, all due to our negligence. If only - yah, if only - we have been more vigilant with your cleanliness, especially washing your hands, then you wouldn't have had that horrendous eye infection that has been spread to a couple of other people. You've suffered so much, and we've blamed your fussiness on your unbecoming behaviour. Yet when you've recovered you're back to your angelic status.

You've been such a blessing, I don't know what I've done to deserve you (or daddy for that matter). I just know I've been so blessed because I'm your mother, and your daddy's wife. :)

With love,
Mummy.

Emmanuel Fun Day

Brought abby swimming while Ben played Scrabble today. It was fun! She enjoyed herself even though the sun was scorching hot. Applied lotsa UV protection then we played abit in the water. After that we went to Eve's place. Wonderful afternoon. Ben & I are glad to witness something beautiful unfold and the glow on people's faces (as well as the occasional blush). :D Heh. Well, God is good! :D

The Travelling Document

Thinking of going for church camp this year - 6th to 10th June 2005. But to do so, we have to get Abby a passport. To do that, we have to take a photo of her with a white background. Sounds easy enough, until you actually get down to doing so. Finally we ended up with one that was pleasant enough without her trying to grab the camera!



After that, I applied online. Wow. Ben's impressed at the efficiency of the government system now. In the past, he had to spend half a day at least to get his passport done. Now everything's online. It's a real breeze. Well, just hoping that the photo'll be accepted. :D