Only a couple of weeks left to the end of school! :D Hurray! NEver have I looked forward to the holidays so much. Well, I'm captivated by Abby. :D She's been asleep since 8.30pm and I miss her so much already.
Took her to Dr Jr today. He seems to be in a better mood than before. His lines were pretty rehearsed though. I bet his act is, too. Patient and family enters clinic. Dr sees baby, carries baby and shows toy. Then say that wants to take baby home then parents can collect when turn 21. Then return baby to owner. :P Anyway, he was in a much better mood, as I was saying, from the last time.
Told him that SINCE HE GAVE ABBY SMECTA, she hasn't been pooping the same. That was in DECEMBER. Now her backside is a cannon. Shoots cannonballs out. Hard stuff. Not farni. :P Poor baby cry and cry. :'( She tried pooping twice yesterday, cried and gave up. 2 even more feeble attempts today. So Dr Jr gave suppository. She pooped that out in less than 5min. Had to carry her out to a quiet corner of the clinic to help cultivate her poop. Yup, she pooped the suppository out. She had this pained look on her face when the dr meddled with her. Had to sing to her, then dr ask me go join S'Idol, say sure vote for me, ask everyone to vote for me. :S I say I only sing to my darling. :D And of course to God too! :D But din say that. :P Anyway, it was Abby's favourite song, so she didn't cry. Just pained look. :'( poor baby.
Gave stool softener and medication to expel wind. Also gave tin of 400g Similac Excellence. Confessed that I'd been switching brands because have been given free tins. *bad mummy no money to buy formula coz on no pay leave* So have to sitck to Similac Excellence, which is the mildest (least oil) of the lot. The order is - Similac Excellence, Frisolac, Mamil Gold. In terms of how mild it is. Thank God Abby likes the mild taste (he said that babies may not like such mild tasting formula) though I think it's pretty ex. Found 3 tins going cheap online. Unopened. Think my aunt can get at good price, coz from Abbott. But no points though. *MIL frets*
Came back and it was Poopamania! Well, not as much as I expected, but still about a day's worth of poop. When Dr felt her stomach in the clinic, he was quite worried coz she had ALOT of wind in the stomach. Poor abby. Well, hope that she'll get better and poop normally.
Back to school tomorrow. Have to go for 8.30 lecture. School ends at 6.30, and I haven't packed yet. :P Glad for the 1week break. Monday and Thursday went for CEM fieldtrip. Otherwise had the chance to spend wif abby. But MIL not happy when I ddin't let Lina take Abby downstairs yesterday morning. Sigh. Wanna spend abit more time wif my daughter also haf to haf permission. I actually feel bad collecting abby from my PIL. Like it's the wrong thing to do. But I really hope to stimulate her in other ways besides scary electronic toys that torments with singing and the RP - the resident pontianak. That one long story... though can tell she really love abby, but when her hair is down and she goes HWWWWEEEEEEEENNNN!!! It's quite scary. But abby gets thrilled! She's brave. I'm not saying who RP is ... u go guess. ;) Hint: It's not my MIL. I won't talk about relatives that way. :P
K. Need to go soon. Managed to draft out crap for 2 modules tonite. Deadlines approaching soon, and I'm still uninspired. I need laksa, kaya-butter-toast with eggs and kopi, etc. Hmm... maybe breakfast alone tmw morning? :D Sounds good. :) Anyway, my roommate's gotta rush deadline, so won't be seeing much of him. Heh. :P
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sunday, February 27, 2005
An extension of my work...
 | You scored as Hermione Granger. You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out.
Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com |
Oh really...? Hmmm.... Anyway I just realised the layout's really messy. Bear with me. I dun haf the time or the know-how to go adjust. Read and move on yah? :) If not, take the quiz and be entertained. :)
Saturday, February 26, 2005
The Life Story of Abigail's Poop
Every since Abby had runny poo we gave her Lacteofort and some other strange powdery concoction. And every since THEN her poop has protested becoz we meddled with her God-given ability to poop. When she was on breastmilk, she pooped wonderfully. Then the teething started... well, upon hindsight, it looked like her extremely runny poo that lasted for more than 3 weeks was due to excess salivation that comes from teething. Well, none of the three pediatricians we went to told us that. We gave her the 2 powdery sachets a day - half a sachet each feed - and she stopped diahorreaing. In fact she stopped pooping altogether. Then she couldn't poop. For close to a whole week she couldn't. Then she let out a BIG AND HUGE one when we went to pick my mum up at Harbour Front. She cried for about half an hour after that coz I think it was too painful/smelly/shocking/relieving/etc. Well. Eversince THEN, she poops every couple of days. It didn't help when I stopped breastfeeding coz school was madness. (Imagine staying in the loo twice or thrice a day for about 45min each time pumping milk. It's smelly loo.) So I stopped. And she went on formula. Very convenient, but it's bad news for her poop. Started giving her solids, also bad for her poop. Today she cried twice... poor baby had a pained expression and from the diaper sample, you could tell she gave up pooping after a bit. The pellets would kill if they were expelled from a shotgun.
And she refuses to drink water. She'd take a about 5 spoonfuls if it was plain and fed from spoon. If bottled, sippy cup, mixed with prunes, gripe water - NO LUCK. Warm, cold - NO LUCK. Now regret not giving her water from birth. Well, for all that baby fats, I wish we could cut down a bit on the feedings and water parade her instead.
Taking her to the PD either today or tomorrow to see if anything else can be done. When all else fails, change the parents. :'(
And she refuses to drink water. She'd take a about 5 spoonfuls if it was plain and fed from spoon. If bottled, sippy cup, mixed with prunes, gripe water - NO LUCK. Warm, cold - NO LUCK. Now regret not giving her water from birth. Well, for all that baby fats, I wish we could cut down a bit on the feedings and water parade her instead.
Taking her to the PD either today or tomorrow to see if anything else can be done. When all else fails, change the parents. :'(
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Recess Week
Okie. The madness is over. Work has been submitted. From what i heard (i left the work wif rosa and left), it was quite a bit of madness after that. Argh. Seems that the person wanted a evaluation/critique to be done within 15minutes (coz they had to leave for their fieldtrip) and kept asking, why this wasn't in, that wasn't in. FYI, it's unnecessary, that's why it's not in. Critique/Evaluation was required by ANOTHER tutor. NOT OURS. Ours just wanted us to show understanding that we knew what we were talking about. Also, the 'lesson plan' is REDUNDANT. Because it's a repetition of what's already in the report, but in another format.
Sigh. Seems like my impression of her is not unique. Fren heard from others of the SAME behaviours. No need to repeat her. Bitched enough.
Strange thing is - she told Suresh and Rosa that she's afraid of me. That's why all these changes/updates only go to/through Suresh and Rosa. Why uh? I very fierce meh?
Anyway, just came back from spending the nite at my mum's. She's just totally stunned. She met a married lady a couple of months back who was seeing another guy. Refused to break up with him. A believer. Then she developed cancer. Then it went into remission. Then it spreaded to other areas. Within a short time, she died.
Abby's developing into sort of a screamer/semi-crier. She dussen haf to scream long and hard. Just at a certain pitch, and people will pander to her whims and fancies. So clever. Think she's got a simple-minded mother who'll just stare at her blankly, wait for that charming smile then get/do for her what she wants. Sometimes the mother gets it. Sometimes she doesn't. Well. At least Abby doesn't scream. THAT MUCH. It's a different scenario downstairs. Her screams are celebrated. Cheered. In fact all her nonsensical behaviours. Wait till she becomes a toddler. Then she'll see the world of difference. *SHUDDER* It's short of abuse.
I really wonder when we can move.
Sigh.
*Scheming* Take the maid and run. Heh.
K. Back to real life. Tons of work. As usual. Who doesn't have? Issue is: How to tackle it?
CEM101 - 1 project, 1 report; 1 quiz
CAE104 - Plenty of readings; 1 essay; 1 exam
CAE203 - 1 Presentation; 1 essay (coming up); 1 exam
CAE234 - 1 500 word essay; 1 exam
CTL201 - 1 debate and 1 essay
*pondering* how did i manage to survive the last four semesters?
God. Help. Me.
Sigh. Seems like my impression of her is not unique. Fren heard from others of the SAME behaviours. No need to repeat her. Bitched enough.
Strange thing is - she told Suresh and Rosa that she's afraid of me. That's why all these changes/updates only go to/through Suresh and Rosa. Why uh? I very fierce meh?
Anyway, just came back from spending the nite at my mum's. She's just totally stunned. She met a married lady a couple of months back who was seeing another guy. Refused to break up with him. A believer. Then she developed cancer. Then it went into remission. Then it spreaded to other areas. Within a short time, she died.
Abby's developing into sort of a screamer/semi-crier. She dussen haf to scream long and hard. Just at a certain pitch, and people will pander to her whims and fancies. So clever. Think she's got a simple-minded mother who'll just stare at her blankly, wait for that charming smile then get/do for her what she wants. Sometimes the mother gets it. Sometimes she doesn't. Well. At least Abby doesn't scream. THAT MUCH. It's a different scenario downstairs. Her screams are celebrated. Cheered. In fact all her nonsensical behaviours. Wait till she becomes a toddler. Then she'll see the world of difference. *SHUDDER* It's short of abuse.
I really wonder when we can move.
Sigh.
*Scheming* Take the maid and run. Heh.
K. Back to real life. Tons of work. As usual. Who doesn't have? Issue is: How to tackle it?
CEM101 - 1 project, 1 report; 1 quiz
CAE104 - Plenty of readings; 1 essay; 1 exam
CAE203 - 1 Presentation; 1 essay (coming up); 1 exam
CAE234 - 1 500 word essay; 1 exam
CTL201 - 1 debate and 1 essay
*pondering* how did i manage to survive the last four semesters?
God. Help. Me.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Post Valentine's
Hiaks! Should have taken photos!
Rosa, Suresh & I went to Swensen's @ JP just now after we had our CCL meeting with our tuor, meet for what I also dunno. Anyway I started editing the compiled report, and I got stuck. I didn't know what I was reading. I thought I was really tired, but I really tried to comprehend what I was reading. This project has really taken its toll on me. I've become SUPER TERRIFIED of changing one of my grpmate's work after the entire fieldwork meeting(S) etc. We've clocked plenty of hours just meeting and being coerced to do stuff. Suresh has been super patient! Rosa's the super diplomatic one, and me? I the super blur one. Just give everyone stress. But @ the last min can produce work and keep them happy. Well, two of them at least. Coz the other one kancheong lah. But she juggle school, family etc very good. Kudos. Scary.
Anyway, before the meeting I took out all the CLIPART in the essay (WHO ON EARTH PUTS CLIPART IN ESSAYS???) and some photos which I may plan to use later if it's really relevant, and started editing (which became quite massive) with my blue pen. Well, at least for the first page. Then we went for the meeting. Put the stack of report on the table and then the group member saw and she was just completely stunned at the sea of blue. Apparently Rosa tried to edit on her own hardcopy and gave up also. She also thought it was typical of people in NIE to put clip art in essays. And she was waiting for us to comment on the standard of English. (And she was acting English HOD leh... hahaha...) But she's really nice. So she didn't say anything. Suresh nice also. Dun say anything or else kena hamtam AGAIN. I not nice. I dun say, but I just see what I can do. Why don't say? Normally I would, but I've learnt that when things need to be changed, and I bring it up, things would just be WHINED away and then remain status quo. *faint* "Whhhhhy????? Why you want to chaaaannnge?" *shudder*
So after the meeting, the three of us decided we needed a break & some food and headed for Swensen's @ JP. We promised we wouldn't talk about work. Then as we placed our orders, I realised it's actually the first time I went out with NIE friends and DIDN'T talk about work. Well, we kinda did, but it wasn't the main purpose. Then the group member called Rosa and started panicking, accusing me of saying things I didn't say (again) and had to be pacified by Rosa.
Suresh and I have concluded that, if Rosa was our supervisor/HOD/P, we'd died for her. If it was that group member, we'd die for sure. It's really that bad. No more next time for Suresh. No more next time for me. Enough is enough. I've had enough opportunities with her, maybe it's time to give other people a chance, people whom she can dominate over or whine to if the former doesn't work.
But honestly, although we've got clashes, I've been humbled by her Vegetable Hunt idea (something like treasure hunt). Initially we (S, R and I) wanted the Hunt out of the fieldwork. Well, not so much Rosa, but definitely S & I. But later we realised that it worked to break the monotony of the trip which was good. :) So I humbly accepted that and learnt to keep quiet and not contest anymore, coz I've got much to learn. Prior to that, we felt that getting a bunch of P6 boys and girls to run around granite ground looking for vegetables in a place that wasn't too welcoming wasn't a good idea. Because the hunt extended all the way to the main gate, which was a considerable distance away from the meeting place. (This was later changed to a more confined area at our insistence.) Our group member was threatened by other groups' fun activities such as the Amazing Race along the Singapore River. So she wanted that sort of activity as well. In a place where the owners wouldn't want people memssing up their million dollar system. Thank God it turned out well though.
Glad that the three of us went Swensen's after that. Laughed non-stop. Made silly jokes. Shared about labour and breastfeeding experiences (to warn Suresh at least so that he'd be sympathetic and supportive towards his future wife next time). Talked about helping each other with our lit module. The three of us had so much fun. It was really easy gelling together. :) Rosa's really a dear, with her infectious and hearty laughter. :)
Well, there came a point at Swensen's when I realised the last time I went there was when Eve was still pregnant and I had just given birth to Abby. Really miss Eve. Seeing her so tired really pains me. It's really no joke. I can even sense the pressure and burden that's weighing on her. Really pray for supernatural strength and for the Holy Spirit to speak to her during this time. Really hope things get better. How to help, I also dunno. But I'd avail myself even just to hear her talk. :) Miss her tons. =(
Having a baby is no joke. But then again, it's probably one of the best things that's happened to us. Well, enjoy while we can, in the midst of this madness, coz it won't last forever. :D We face different issues, yet as we overcome we'll be stronger yah? :D
Rosa, Suresh & I went to Swensen's @ JP just now after we had our CCL meeting with our tuor, meet for what I also dunno. Anyway I started editing the compiled report, and I got stuck. I didn't know what I was reading. I thought I was really tired, but I really tried to comprehend what I was reading. This project has really taken its toll on me. I've become SUPER TERRIFIED of changing one of my grpmate's work after the entire fieldwork meeting(S) etc. We've clocked plenty of hours just meeting and being coerced to do stuff. Suresh has been super patient! Rosa's the super diplomatic one, and me? I the super blur one. Just give everyone stress. But @ the last min can produce work and keep them happy. Well, two of them at least. Coz the other one kancheong lah. But she juggle school, family etc very good. Kudos. Scary.
Anyway, before the meeting I took out all the CLIPART in the essay (WHO ON EARTH PUTS CLIPART IN ESSAYS???) and some photos which I may plan to use later if it's really relevant, and started editing (which became quite massive) with my blue pen. Well, at least for the first page. Then we went for the meeting. Put the stack of report on the table and then the group member saw and she was just completely stunned at the sea of blue. Apparently Rosa tried to edit on her own hardcopy and gave up also. She also thought it was typical of people in NIE to put clip art in essays. And she was waiting for us to comment on the standard of English. (And she was acting English HOD leh... hahaha...) But she's really nice. So she didn't say anything. Suresh nice also. Dun say anything or else kena hamtam AGAIN. I not nice. I dun say, but I just see what I can do. Why don't say? Normally I would, but I've learnt that when things need to be changed, and I bring it up, things would just be WHINED away and then remain status quo. *faint* "Whhhhhy????? Why you want to chaaaannnge?" *shudder*
So after the meeting, the three of us decided we needed a break & some food and headed for Swensen's @ JP. We promised we wouldn't talk about work. Then as we placed our orders, I realised it's actually the first time I went out with NIE friends and DIDN'T talk about work. Well, we kinda did, but it wasn't the main purpose. Then the group member called Rosa and started panicking, accusing me of saying things I didn't say (again) and had to be pacified by Rosa.
Suresh and I have concluded that, if Rosa was our supervisor/HOD/P, we'd died for her. If it was that group member, we'd die for sure. It's really that bad. No more next time for Suresh. No more next time for me. Enough is enough. I've had enough opportunities with her, maybe it's time to give other people a chance, people whom she can dominate over or whine to if the former doesn't work.
But honestly, although we've got clashes, I've been humbled by her Vegetable Hunt idea (something like treasure hunt). Initially we (S, R and I) wanted the Hunt out of the fieldwork. Well, not so much Rosa, but definitely S & I. But later we realised that it worked to break the monotony of the trip which was good. :) So I humbly accepted that and learnt to keep quiet and not contest anymore, coz I've got much to learn. Prior to that, we felt that getting a bunch of P6 boys and girls to run around granite ground looking for vegetables in a place that wasn't too welcoming wasn't a good idea. Because the hunt extended all the way to the main gate, which was a considerable distance away from the meeting place. (This was later changed to a more confined area at our insistence.) Our group member was threatened by other groups' fun activities such as the Amazing Race along the Singapore River. So she wanted that sort of activity as well. In a place where the owners wouldn't want people memssing up their million dollar system. Thank God it turned out well though.
Glad that the three of us went Swensen's after that. Laughed non-stop. Made silly jokes. Shared about labour and breastfeeding experiences (to warn Suresh at least so that he'd be sympathetic and supportive towards his future wife next time). Talked about helping each other with our lit module. The three of us had so much fun. It was really easy gelling together. :) Rosa's really a dear, with her infectious and hearty laughter. :)
Well, there came a point at Swensen's when I realised the last time I went there was when Eve was still pregnant and I had just given birth to Abby. Really miss Eve. Seeing her so tired really pains me. It's really no joke. I can even sense the pressure and burden that's weighing on her. Really pray for supernatural strength and for the Holy Spirit to speak to her during this time. Really hope things get better. How to help, I also dunno. But I'd avail myself even just to hear her talk. :) Miss her tons. =(
Having a baby is no joke. But then again, it's probably one of the best things that's happened to us. Well, enjoy while we can, in the midst of this madness, coz it won't last forever. :D We face different issues, yet as we overcome we'll be stronger yah? :D
Saturday, February 12, 2005
My little Abigail
Her daddy thinks she looks like a firefighter in the hat she chose for herself. You think? :) She's already sitting up by herself in a high chair! :D This picture was taken on the 2nd day of CNY when we went for dinner with Ben's family. :)
Well, we went to Crystal Jade @ Toa Payoh today for lunch, and our darling girl was just so in love with her voice. So she was happily vocalising, then it started to sound like she was whining in her highchair. Still, she managed to amuse her elders, but Mummy wasn't amused already. Her voice is LOUD. So when she started yelling, I carried her and warned her very softly but sternly right into her ears. Well, in front of elders how to scold grandchildren? I didn't know if she understood me but she still looked like she was ready to kid around. She does that when I scold her - just break into a heartmelting smile... tsk tsk. Put her down in her stroller cause she hadn't had enough sleep (her nap was interrupted but she was cool with it, happy and all) and she continued to yell abit. Not crying, just yelling. Warned her very sternly again (mummy the only fierce one!) and in a couple of moments, she fell asleep. I was very surprised. So was Ben.
That behaviour was really undesirable - she was causing a ruckus and a disturbance to the other patrons in the restaurant. Someone had to do the dirty job, and I'm glad I did. Thank God no big hoo-ha regarding scolding her. And thank God she responded!
She's still an angel nevertheless. Did you know on the 1st day of CNY, we went to my mum's place and she said 'Eh..Bee...GAIL!' No kidding. My mum, Ben and Randy also heard her say it! :D
Friday, February 11, 2005
Argh!
This is not good. It's approaching my deadline and i'm still no where near creating a semblance of an assignment for children's illustrated books. :P Sigh. Panic also no use, I need to get down to doing it!! Wanted to do it today, but never got around to typing something out. Maybe if I braindump I'd feel better. Okie, braindump is a term I use to just dump EVERYTHING that's been floating around in my brain. Then after that I sort out the wheat and the chaff. Hopefully there'll be things valuable in the braindump. The assignment word limit is between 800 and 1500 words. A discussion for two books, one for upper and the other for lower. WHAT COULD BE SO DIFFICULT ABOUT THAT???? But no... I can't seem to squeeze a word out of my brain. :P Tis not good...
Well, anyway, I hope that tomorrow will be a productive day.
Seeing my mum today reallly made me pretty sad. She's a silent giver. She gives so well that no one realises that she's giving (though she can be pretty loud!). But today she finally said it. All this time, from the time I gave birth till now, she hasn't had a solid opportunity to spend time with Abby. Either people are fighting to carry her or she's being carried or she's TOTALLY cranky because she's tired. So she's just been waiting. So quietly. Her first grandchild and yet she has to restrain herself. :( She's not exactly excellent with children, but her heart is just to love.
Sometimes I get tired just speaking up for her. But because of who she is, she is often misunderstood. She can come across as someone domineering and obstinate, so her motives are misunderstood. Worse is when she is seen through the eyes of my brother. If we could only just see her as who she really is, then perhaps she wouldn't have to fight for her survival. Strange that she's got so many friends in church, etc, but when it comes to family, she's more often than not, rejected. She spends little time with her family, so because of that, she has to live with accusations and insults, spoken and murmured, even in people's head. I just wished we'd be a little more patient with her and hear her heartbeat before reacting. Personally I just feel so tied down. Seeing her go in and out of hospital so many times and me not spending enough time with her really dumps the guilt on me. Even my own daughter doesn't take to her very well. Guess at times even ben just bears with her. He's learning to love her more, but perhaps she can be quite a difficult person to love, especially when she's so easily misunderstood. I just wish I could have more time with her before it's too late. She fought with her life for me. It's just a little something I could do for her. Just eat as often as I can with her, spend time with her. As much as staying with my in laws is borrowed time for ben, likewise I hope to borrow abit more time with my mum before it's too late. She's had too many near death encounters. And being almost destroyed by a heartless and insenstive man could have left her totally embittered, but by the grace of God, she is living on borrowed time. I just wish I could borrow a piece of that time and be with her.
I'm glad I went seletar with ben and abby today. It meant alot to me. Even though my mum tried to ask me a couple of times to go, and I rejected her initially. She will just try and try, and I know deep within she really wants us to be there. And it was great to know that I wasn't imposing on ben's time when we made the trip. It was my work that he was more concerned with. Hope that when this semester is over, I'll make it routine to spend as much time with her as possible, even possibly to the extent of leaving abby with her for the day if I'm not able to spend that time there. With her heart of love to love abby, I can trust her. Even if there are mistakes and slip ups. Abby also has to borrow Granny's time to spend it with her. I hope both of them will be happy. :)
Well, anyway, I hope that tomorrow will be a productive day.
Seeing my mum today reallly made me pretty sad. She's a silent giver. She gives so well that no one realises that she's giving (though she can be pretty loud!). But today she finally said it. All this time, from the time I gave birth till now, she hasn't had a solid opportunity to spend time with Abby. Either people are fighting to carry her or she's being carried or she's TOTALLY cranky because she's tired. So she's just been waiting. So quietly. Her first grandchild and yet she has to restrain herself. :( She's not exactly excellent with children, but her heart is just to love.
Sometimes I get tired just speaking up for her. But because of who she is, she is often misunderstood. She can come across as someone domineering and obstinate, so her motives are misunderstood. Worse is when she is seen through the eyes of my brother. If we could only just see her as who she really is, then perhaps she wouldn't have to fight for her survival. Strange that she's got so many friends in church, etc, but when it comes to family, she's more often than not, rejected. She spends little time with her family, so because of that, she has to live with accusations and insults, spoken and murmured, even in people's head. I just wished we'd be a little more patient with her and hear her heartbeat before reacting. Personally I just feel so tied down. Seeing her go in and out of hospital so many times and me not spending enough time with her really dumps the guilt on me. Even my own daughter doesn't take to her very well. Guess at times even ben just bears with her. He's learning to love her more, but perhaps she can be quite a difficult person to love, especially when she's so easily misunderstood. I just wish I could have more time with her before it's too late. She fought with her life for me. It's just a little something I could do for her. Just eat as often as I can with her, spend time with her. As much as staying with my in laws is borrowed time for ben, likewise I hope to borrow abit more time with my mum before it's too late. She's had too many near death encounters. And being almost destroyed by a heartless and insenstive man could have left her totally embittered, but by the grace of God, she is living on borrowed time. I just wish I could borrow a piece of that time and be with her.
I'm glad I went seletar with ben and abby today. It meant alot to me. Even though my mum tried to ask me a couple of times to go, and I rejected her initially. She will just try and try, and I know deep within she really wants us to be there. And it was great to know that I wasn't imposing on ben's time when we made the trip. It was my work that he was more concerned with. Hope that when this semester is over, I'll make it routine to spend as much time with her as possible, even possibly to the extent of leaving abby with her for the day if I'm not able to spend that time there. With her heart of love to love abby, I can trust her. Even if there are mistakes and slip ups. Abby also has to borrow Granny's time to spend it with her. I hope both of them will be happy. :)
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
CNY Eve
Buried deep in work. Hopefully will finish my children's lit assignment (well, let's start on it first...) and social studies (yup, that too, have to start). My group members are going to kill me if they found out I HAVEN'T STARTED. Scary hor? But anyway, just dead tired lah.
Went for 3 rounds of reunion dinner today - my maternal granny, paternal granny and my parents-in-law. Guess wat? The most enjoyable was the last one. It's really ironic. As much as Ben has been happy regarding my presence in his family having some sort of positive influence, I feel really insignificant in my own family. Just a lil' girl. My own famil(ies) are just too preoccupied with themselves and seem to have lost touch with enjoying other peoples' presence. Instead, this evening at home, we had a dinner with my in-laws, our family, carole and family and hy and family (well, hubby lah. But that's considered a family unit already!). Oh, and also got this china boy who's been having reunion dinners with us for quite a while - a boy whom ben's dad sponsors. Had an enjoyable dinner, and after that had great dessert as well as a photo taking session. Waiting for the pictures to be sent from carole. It was really fun. As much as we think Ben's dad is not very comfortable with expressing affection towards his children, he really enjoyed the phototaking session! :D They looked like they were getting married, with the two grandchildren on their laps, and their children and respective spouses (spice?) taking turns to sit beside them. We even had a men only and women only pictures! Imagine that! :D
Clockwise from left: China Boy, Jun, Ying, me, Benji, my dad-in-law with abby on his lap, my mum-in-law with cody on her lap, Carole and Bee. Photo courtesy of auntie carole.
Also, during dinner, Ben was sharing about how my granny was selling eggs till late last nite, and no one bought from her. So my MIL suggested buying from her, instead of going to NTUC. Immediately, my FIL teased my MIL by asking, "Got points or not?" with a big smile. Heh... super farni! :D
I really praise God for this family and I really feel very blessed to be part of it. Although all families will have their fair share of squabbles, still I think my in-laws are awesome. No joke. :D God is good. :D
Went for 3 rounds of reunion dinner today - my maternal granny, paternal granny and my parents-in-law. Guess wat? The most enjoyable was the last one. It's really ironic. As much as Ben has been happy regarding my presence in his family having some sort of positive influence, I feel really insignificant in my own family. Just a lil' girl. My own famil(ies) are just too preoccupied with themselves and seem to have lost touch with enjoying other peoples' presence. Instead, this evening at home, we had a dinner with my in-laws, our family, carole and family and hy and family (well, hubby lah. But that's considered a family unit already!). Oh, and also got this china boy who's been having reunion dinners with us for quite a while - a boy whom ben's dad sponsors. Had an enjoyable dinner, and after that had great dessert as well as a photo taking session. Waiting for the pictures to be sent from carole. It was really fun. As much as we think Ben's dad is not very comfortable with expressing affection towards his children, he really enjoyed the phototaking session! :D They looked like they were getting married, with the two grandchildren on their laps, and their children and respective spouses (spice?) taking turns to sit beside them. We even had a men only and women only pictures! Imagine that! :D
Clockwise from left: China Boy, Jun, Ying, me, Benji, my dad-in-law with abby on his lap, my mum-in-law with cody on her lap, Carole and Bee. Photo courtesy of auntie carole.
Also, during dinner, Ben was sharing about how my granny was selling eggs till late last nite, and no one bought from her. So my MIL suggested buying from her, instead of going to NTUC. Immediately, my FIL teased my MIL by asking, "Got points or not?" with a big smile. Heh... super farni! :D
I really praise God for this family and I really feel very blessed to be part of it. Although all families will have their fair share of squabbles, still I think my in-laws are awesome. No joke. :D God is good. :D
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
No Dinner
Wat a bummer. Supposed to haf dinner with ben's sisters and spouses but AT THE LAST MINUTE during my fieldwork session at Singapore River, my stomach decided to act up and kill me. When that happens, all life ceases. I'll just be about to throw up and my head would continually threaten to explode. Think it was thinking about my very own fieldwork that's going to take place this thursday WITH NO BOOKLET READY that hit me in the stomach. *stress*
So Ben had to cancel the dinner (the girls and their boys went on their own) and shipped me back home. Had HOT HOT porridge and struggled to finish my Street of the Small Night Market presentation of Question-2-that-no-one-wanted-to-do-because-it-asked-for-the-ideological-basis-of-the-book and ALSO the BOOKLET. Sent it to the gang at 12.24am this morning. I almost doubled over.
Called Rosa this morning to inform her of the changes in the booklet. Did most on hers coz auntie very texty lah. The rest got many many space. Msged suresh to ask if he needed to insert any changes. He congratulated me on the booklet well done. Well, a huge portion was done by Ben. I just took over after I felt like I wasn't going to implode anymore.
Lately I've been having SO SO SO much trouble getting my engine started. The feeling sucks. It's alredi week FIVE and I still feel blardi sluggish. Deadlines are going to come and go and I still would feel a thing. Yet I'm panicking inside. I'm wondering, how on earth did I manage?
Had a fantastic discussion with Ben (well, many discussions...) and he helped me see that currently I have only two points regarding NIE in my head. One: God wants me in here. Two: I'm in here for the money that I'll be getting when I graduate.
Tha'ts why I've been struggling so badly. If it's money-motivated, then it's greed. He's also recently learnt this lesson - he realised that going into business was out of greed because of the share in the company. But lately, because payment due in NOVEMBER has been delayed till now, we have realised that these people are really not reliable. It's just a couple of hundred dollars stuck there, and it's already taking SO LONG. Can you imagine if it were figures we imagined we'd get when he first started the company? Pray that God will open new doors for him. He's given 5 whole months to this company. And it's time to move on. It's been a faith move because he's got a wife on no pay leave and a baby to feed. Though we stay with his parents, it's totally unfair and ridiculous to depend on them to feed us. We really really need to stand up on our own and not depend on them to provide, but on God. It's really NOT easy.
Well, back to the subject of school. Ben's been enjoying his Master's course. He has realised more about himself and in the process, he's became a more confident person. :) Our marriage also has gone through a breakthrough. Because of the confidence, we're able to deal with issues we've been avoiding for the fear of being too hurt beyond repair. Praise God for this breakthrough!
Church was pretty awesome last sunday. Had a sermon on Breakthrough in Marriage. Lately have been listening to a couple of cassette tapes regarding marriage as well. Went for altar call and auntie Ayelan prayed for us. I was real upset within because of so so many struggles... and after Ps Mark also prayed, Auntie ayelan asked ben if we've been talking. I hesitated so much and gathered my guts and said not really. I knew that it would shock him. It would shock anyone else also, if they knew how much we communicated. We talk alot. ALOT. Yet within me there was a lot of pent up frustration which I wasn't capable of verbalising. It's not his fault whatsoever. Just that I really needed to be heard. So on Monday night, we sat down and talked about what happened, how shocked he was (and also quite hurt - which I totally understood) and then I clarified myself. Later he let me ramble incoherently. About school. About home. About my group. About abby. About everything else under the sun. In about half hour (i think), my verbal diarrhoea was over. God bless a man who knows just when to listen and not give solutions. He's utterly gorgeous. :D I'm blessed.
Just a note- we have our fair share of communication, and it isn't me who's doing all the talking. :) I get to listen to his heartbeat and his passion and I'm really privileged because he doesn't share it with others. Just that lately I haven't been able to share like how he has, and I just felt stifled. I don't think I was very coherent, but he understood what I wanted to say. :)
So after the altar call, Serene came over and hugged me real tightly and just spoke words of encouragement and of life into me. She said, "Audrey, you're doing good." And kept repeating that. I felt so assured. She said that we've been an encouragement to our peers, the young adults around us. They see us struggle and still keep the faith and want to serve, so they're real encouraged. I never knew all this was happening. She really really spoke words of life. She also said that i had to go through was I'm going through so that I would be able to minister to others in time to come. Praise God for her. She's God-sent. :)
So Ben had to cancel the dinner (the girls and their boys went on their own) and shipped me back home. Had HOT HOT porridge and struggled to finish my Street of the Small Night Market presentation of Question-2-that-no-one-wanted-to-do-because-it-asked-for-the-ideological-basis-of-the-book and ALSO the BOOKLET. Sent it to the gang at 12.24am this morning. I almost doubled over.
Called Rosa this morning to inform her of the changes in the booklet. Did most on hers coz auntie very texty lah. The rest got many many space. Msged suresh to ask if he needed to insert any changes. He congratulated me on the booklet well done. Well, a huge portion was done by Ben. I just took over after I felt like I wasn't going to implode anymore.
Lately I've been having SO SO SO much trouble getting my engine started. The feeling sucks. It's alredi week FIVE and I still feel blardi sluggish. Deadlines are going to come and go and I still would feel a thing. Yet I'm panicking inside. I'm wondering, how on earth did I manage?
Had a fantastic discussion with Ben (well, many discussions...) and he helped me see that currently I have only two points regarding NIE in my head. One: God wants me in here. Two: I'm in here for the money that I'll be getting when I graduate.
Tha'ts why I've been struggling so badly. If it's money-motivated, then it's greed. He's also recently learnt this lesson - he realised that going into business was out of greed because of the share in the company. But lately, because payment due in NOVEMBER has been delayed till now, we have realised that these people are really not reliable. It's just a couple of hundred dollars stuck there, and it's already taking SO LONG. Can you imagine if it were figures we imagined we'd get when he first started the company? Pray that God will open new doors for him. He's given 5 whole months to this company. And it's time to move on. It's been a faith move because he's got a wife on no pay leave and a baby to feed. Though we stay with his parents, it's totally unfair and ridiculous to depend on them to feed us. We really really need to stand up on our own and not depend on them to provide, but on God. It's really NOT easy.
Well, back to the subject of school. Ben's been enjoying his Master's course. He has realised more about himself and in the process, he's became a more confident person. :) Our marriage also has gone through a breakthrough. Because of the confidence, we're able to deal with issues we've been avoiding for the fear of being too hurt beyond repair. Praise God for this breakthrough!
Church was pretty awesome last sunday. Had a sermon on Breakthrough in Marriage. Lately have been listening to a couple of cassette tapes regarding marriage as well. Went for altar call and auntie Ayelan prayed for us. I was real upset within because of so so many struggles... and after Ps Mark also prayed, Auntie ayelan asked ben if we've been talking. I hesitated so much and gathered my guts and said not really. I knew that it would shock him. It would shock anyone else also, if they knew how much we communicated. We talk alot. ALOT. Yet within me there was a lot of pent up frustration which I wasn't capable of verbalising. It's not his fault whatsoever. Just that I really needed to be heard. So on Monday night, we sat down and talked about what happened, how shocked he was (and also quite hurt - which I totally understood) and then I clarified myself. Later he let me ramble incoherently. About school. About home. About my group. About abby. About everything else under the sun. In about half hour (i think), my verbal diarrhoea was over. God bless a man who knows just when to listen and not give solutions. He's utterly gorgeous. :D I'm blessed.
Just a note- we have our fair share of communication, and it isn't me who's doing all the talking. :) I get to listen to his heartbeat and his passion and I'm really privileged because he doesn't share it with others. Just that lately I haven't been able to share like how he has, and I just felt stifled. I don't think I was very coherent, but he understood what I wanted to say. :)
So after the altar call, Serene came over and hugged me real tightly and just spoke words of encouragement and of life into me. She said, "Audrey, you're doing good." And kept repeating that. I felt so assured. She said that we've been an encouragement to our peers, the young adults around us. They see us struggle and still keep the faith and want to serve, so they're real encouraged. I never knew all this was happening. She really really spoke words of life. She also said that i had to go through was I'm going through so that I would be able to minister to others in time to come. Praise God for her. She's God-sent. :)
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