Home, School, Ben, Abby, Parenting & Monkeys

Okie, we've finally broken the news to Ben's parents. And now we can tell the world. WE GOT A FLAT!!! It's a 5-room flat in Bedok, mid level and we got it at 15k below valuation! :D Initially there were other slightly higher offers, about 10k below valuation, but the owner(s) were reluctant to let it go. Just when they decided to sell it at that price, the potential buyers all committed themselves to other places! So we happiliy came along, offered our 'best' price and they sold it to us! :D

It's in original condition, so tonnes of work needs to be done. But we're just glad that God's blessed us with this place. Ben finally told his dad after a series of events which opened up the way to us (him) being able to announce the news. Basically his parents are ready to let us go, even his mum, and just hopes that we'll be back weekly for dinners, which is basically not a problem for us coz we wanna do that anyway.

Although upgrading is due for the new place soon, we're glad that the whole place will have a whole facelift. It's not gonna be a piece of cake, but part of the upgrading has been done already. There are security features at the lobby, security gate and camera and lift stops at every level, so it's basically only the exterior as well as our toilets, grilles and doors, which they assume will take about two weeks. :)

However, plans will be put on hold until I get over the first trimester. Gosh. Every weekend I just knock out. I sleep for the most of saturdays, and sundays I'm still partially zombified. But I'm fine from mondays to fridays, especially on tuesdays when I have classes from 8.30am to 5.30pm with only two 1-hr breaks. That's when I'm the most energetic and chatty, right up to the night! Guess it's really God's strength that keeps me going on. But I can barely keep my eyes open on saturdays. I'm just soooo tired.

Ben's gone back to camp and might not see him tomorrow. Horrid thoughts just filled my mind before he left and I'm just praying that God will protect him. I dunno what I'll do without him. :'( I've been having strange dreams as well. Downside of pregnancy - the dreams which can be super vivid at times!

But on a brighter note, Ben was back over the weekend and spent great time with Abby. There was this night where Abby woke up and didn't want to sleep, just play and yak. So she rattled on her entire vocabulary of words to a sleeping mummy and a sleepy daddy. So cute. "Daaaada, Daaaadi, Bah Bah, Mama, Mamam, Mak!, Jie Jie (sounds like), Wooh (for dog), Wah-Wer (for flower)." Yesterday she started her, "How?" and now loves to mimic Ben's mum's yawn. She can identify 'eye' and 'ear' in Hock Chia!! But that's on other people's faces. Today just taught her where her ears were, and when Ben asked this evening, she pointed to her left ear! :D Very fast learner! :D Likes to listen to "Eensy Weensy Spider" and looks like she's trying to do the Spider climb up the spout! Best part is - sometimes, when the rain washes the spider out (I usually emphasise on Wash!) she'll mimic the flow of the rushing water! Heheh... so cute! Oh, and she can do "Jiu Yang Dub Dub Puay!" (That's Hock Chia for bird fly away or something!) So cute... See, she picked up so many things in dialect, shows that we hardly spend time with her... sigh... but good lah. Dowan her to lose her roots. So whatever minute window of opportunity we have with her, just enjoy her and savour every moment! She's such a cutie... :D loves to give us kisses with 'mmmmm' sound effect! :D

After we stopped being anal parents as recommended by some parenting philosophy (well, not exactly, but I've learnt to take it with a pinch of salt. In fact, a huge dash of it.) we've bonded better. Well, although we managed to withdraw from GKGW organised by a group (paid LOADS OF MONEY but got a partial refund), we're still attending the course but organised by our church instead, at a fraction of the cost. Because of the former group (the people we know and the instructor's expectations) we felt everything had to be done EXACTLY. Otherwise we weren't doing it right. But I think for this new course (partially because we're paying a ridiculous fraction of what we paid for the first organiser) the pressure's off. Also the new instructors aren't that strict I think. We'll take what we agree with and just throw away the rest. I've read too much stuff online regarding Ezzo and although I don't agree with how he's managing himself and the way things have turned out, I still think that he's probably got some two cents worth that we could listen to (and not more that S$700 worth of lessons!). Argh.

Anyway, I've been reading Chewymom's website regarding her past experience with Ezzo as well as Tulipgirl's which provides me a counter perspective to what is being preached. It does get quite 'exclusive' in the course with all that teachings going around, yet with these two ex-Ezzo moms providing experience, I'm getting a more balanced picture of the situation. Perhaps for those who haven't heard in detail regarding Ezzo, these two ladies may provide a strong perspective towards the teaching. Yet, one side of the story will always sound correct until we hear the other side of the story. So Chewymom and Tulipgirl are just my counter reference points to the course which we used to subscribe until the guilt overtook us and made us think we're bad parents. Now, we recognise that whatever courses we attend, they are just somebody's opinion about how things should be done. It doesn't mean because everyone's done it that way, that means that's the way things should be done. Well, this story says it all. :)

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey will make an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, take away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.

Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not?

Because, as far as they know, that's the way it's always been done.... and that, my friends, is how company policy begins.