Need God

Tomorrow's my CAE104 paper, from 9.30am to 12nn. I'm not finished with Frankenstein yet. Didn't study for all. Hope I can be coherent enough on paper tomorrow. Remember quotes? How to? I shall now firmly declare that it is only by God's grace that I make it through this module. God, help me understand the exam questions, and recall the appropriate responses. Have to do 3 questions, within 2.5hrs. I take about 3 days to do 1 question. How about that? And I haven't been using the pen to write non-stop for 2.5hrs. So physically, it'll be a challenge. God, can you remind me why you want me to be in this course again? I mean, I'm really grateful for it, yet it is a struggle, although comparatively way easier than my peers who have a heavier work & school load. That one? mission impossible.

Pray that abby's eyes recover. Dirty hands and eyes don't mix. Have been applying medicine since Sunday, still the swelling and redness comes on and off. Went back to Dr Junior today. (yup. The PD's name IS Junior.) He gave antibiotics. Also said that by Friday, if things don't improve, we'll need to take her to a specialist and sedate her to get her eye checked for foreign particles. Scary!

He said something that irked my MIL today. He ALWAYS says that Abby looks like a boy... so I'm rather used to it lah. Many say that too. Well, they can say whatever they want. Doesn't bother me. When we reached home, she muttered, "Hui En na2 li3 xiang4 nan2 hai2 zi3?" (Literal translation: Abigail where got look like boy? SCE) I told her not to be bothered by that. Hah.

Anyway, was a lil' irked this afternoon. Abby has been EXTREMELY TRYING. Perhaps due to her current condition, or because of 'nurture'. She's picked up by her care-givers whenever she whines ABIT. Gosh. If not, she'll erupt into a full-blown cry. She's my daughter, I know what kind of full blown cries she's capable of. (Coz I can too... hahah...:P) Anyway, she's becoming a certified fussy pot. Even when I'm upstairs studying, when she cries abit downstairs, I can hear the, "ooorh oorh lah." :S And lately, she refuses to take her naps. So she's been touring the house. From her own crib to our bed, to her grandparents' bed, to the crib in their room and then to hy's room. See her mood. (Gosh. Really trying to contain myself here. See baby's mood? We'll be in deep trouble!) So have been taking care of abby abit these few days coz I've been at home, and she's also refusing to nap. She can play till she's real tired, fall asleep seated, and still refuse to lie down for a nap. So after she did so today, I put her in her crib and she whined. Thank God her messiah didn't come upstairs. She promptly went back to sleep after a bit of whining.

So I shared this with her granny while on the way to the pd. She recounted how her own MIL would intervene and not allow the babies to cry. In response, I said that children are parents' responsibilities, which she promptly said that her MIL didn't care - and usually just grabbed the babies away from her. But she said she's chin chye. Well, to summarise, I ended with - if that's the case, to *minimise family squabbles*, then it's better not to have anymore kids. *fuming* Really very upsetting to see abby become a brat. Let's hope it's because she's not feeling too well at the moment, and not a 'nurture' problem. I really hope these three months would be beneficial for Abby. But in the long term, with teaching and all, how? Sigh. It's already a challenge to have father and mother see eye to eye regarding discipline issues; now the challenge is complicated when external caregivers are involved. But in Singapore, unless we can afford to live on single income, then it's really a common problem to many. Well, my MIL is more negotiable than my mum. Let's just say, although the current scenario is less than ideal, I'm contented.

Well, really need God to see me through the next few days and preserve my sanity and health. Really looking forward to next Tuesday! :D