Facts vs Myths

Okie. So I bought this week's issue of 8 Days. How could I not when they have SO MANY NEW MUMMIES on the cover? I'm not referring to the Egyptian ones... Well, Li Lin looks gorgeous - great skin, slim and happy, while Sage is just delighted. Wow...

Okie. For a moment there, I bet you thought that pregnancy and childbirth would be that glorious? Remember - this is the cover of one of the most popular weekly magazines in Singapore. If they had put a post-pregnant but still-hampered-by-pregnancy-weight-woman on the cover, sales would plummet. Also, everything's edited.

The truth about pregnancy and the whole works is... it's a huge gamble. From getting pregnant (am I? Or am I not?) to morning sickness, to hormonal manipulation (outbreaks, pigmentation, great/lousy hair, great/lousy mood, great/lousy appetite, etc - actually make that, EVERYTHING), to massive weight gain, to erratic mood swings, terrible self-image, etc. That's during the pregnancy. On top of that, you worry about whether the baby's fine, whether 'it's' a boy or girl (sometimes, regretfully, 'again'), uncomfortable if the baby kicks, worried like mad if the baby doesn't, unsure if you've eaten sufficiently, worried that you've eaten too much, afraid of the impending labour, then more afraid if it's false labour, glad that baby has a toy in the womb - umblical cord, but worried when the baby uses it as a necklace, excited when the water bag breaks, worried when the baby's in there for too long *after* the water bag's broken - distressed, if it'll eat its own meconium, etc, and all these before the baby actually arrives.

Now. When the baby arrives, you've got other worries. Afraid if the person who's just sneezed has just inherited the world's deadliest contagious disease. Whether your baby is growing right on target. Worried if your baby is a freak when it grows way beyond the target. (Like the china baby who started crawling 20 days after birth.) Whether your baby would be threatened in any way - on the roads, at home, etc. If your baby still recognises you after you've been away at work the whole day. Broken hearted when your baby rejects you. Exhilerated when your baby chuckles when you walk into the room. And you still look like an overweight version of who you were before birth. Whether you boobs would sag after you give up breastfeeding. Wonder where your boobs went *after* you give up breastfeeding (which solves the previous worry). Whether the tummy which *suddenly appeared* after you weaned your baby off would go away (although it was always there but hidden under the udders), whether the tummy is simply excess skin that would not go away because of age, lack of money, determination to exercise, etc, whether your skin would finally clear up after the hormonal rampage. (If you've had your first menses, you'll probably understand how hormones wreck your skin. Pregnancy - multiply by about 10 times the effect.) Worry about whether you'll have any hair left AFTER it finally decides to stop shedding the compulsory post-pregnancy hair shedding tradition. Worry WHEN it'll stop shedding. Worry whether you'll end up looking like you desparately need a Yun-Nan 200 session hair-treatment course.

Well, of course. You'll say, "Dun worry!" or "I'm not the worrying sort." But how can you not when someone's who's been a part of you is now away from you? You'll realise that your heart is never the same again - that when you leave for work in the morning, your heart stays behind with your baby. But you'll have to gather whatever strength you have to focus (oh talk about focusing - there's a study that's confirmed brain shrinkage due to pregnancy. You'll become more stupid.) See? Focused right? As I was saying, you'll have to focus on your work and everything else. Thank God there's God. If not, I would have been shattered many times over. Glad that He's in control. At least I don't have to be, or pretend to be.

Conclusion: It's a myth to have your cake and eat it too. Unless you've a divine Baker who'll take care of all your needs. It hasn't been an easy journey, and there's more to come. God's been great so far and has been my Sellotape to stop me from falling to bits. Thank God for putting people in my life and for a fantastic and supportive husband who's the greatest dad I've ever seen. God IS good.