7th Year Anniversary

Today marks seven years Ben & I have been together. Time has flown by so fast, it's amazing. Both of us can't believe it's been seven years already. Which is a good sign. :)

When we started going out together, both of us had heaps of issues with almost every single aspect of our lives. Like for instance, both of us had almost given up on the opposite sex because of tragically painful past relationships. To cut the long story short, because of our ex-es, we are better people. *argh*

Through these years, we've managed to work through most of our issues, and it's been a much better ride especially for 2006. With both our pasts as well as our upbringing, we had a challenging time initially. Also, we almost broke up (twice, I think?), once right before the wedding. It was by God's grace that there was intervention, and the relationship was saved.

I am so blessed by Ben in so many ways. He's always been a gentleman, and up to right now whenever he opens the car door for me, I always tease him, saying, "So, is the girl new, or the car?" :D He's also very down-to-earth and very humble. As his wife, I find myself very encouraged by how he has chosen to live his life. I am very blessed to have him committed to the marriage and to the family. Coming from my family, I am not the most secure person. In fact, recently we had an 'in-depth analysis' and realised that a perception that I was holding was building a wall in our marriage. Because of my parents' marriage, I had begun to 'gear myself up' for the day where the news of a third party would surface. In my head, I would never find out about it because he's not the careless sort. The only way I would ever find out was by his confession. So as I result, I started acting like he already had someone else, mentally preparing myself for the day where I would have to walk out with 2 kids in tow, and the works - like my mother. Unfortunately, my subtle defence started to hurt the marriage. Thank God Ben was sensitive enough to detect that something was not right, and gently helped me to surface this erroneous belief which was beginning to put an almost undetectable strain our marriage. We're still working on it and things have been improving by leaps and bounds. It is challenging for me because none of the men in my family have been monogamous. It's sad, but it's true. Therefore I kinda take it for granted that this applies to all men. This cynicism was detrimental to the relationship because trust was absent. Even without evidence, it was already 'guilty until proven innocent' - and even then, still guilty. Initially when my belief was revealed, Ben explained, "Imagine you are running a business. If you believe that this business is doomed for failure, you wouldn't put your whole heart in it right? You'd behave as if the business would go bust anytime." It's scary, but it's true.

Do I believe that totally monogamous marriages exist? This is a question I've been asking myself. I always say that wives should always highly esteem their husbands, otherwise they'd go be the men of another household. Also, don't be suspicious if the husband is having an affair - otherwise, since the suspicion is already there, might as well fulfill it instead of having to defend himself all the time. Now I have to examine myself if other beliefs are erroneous. Because it is really not fair to Ben. I don't think I'd like it very much either if he kept suspecting me of harbouring feelings or even having an affair with anyone. His trust for me is very reassuring, and it is only right that I commit this to him as well. Looking at our records, it is I who have more grounds for suspicion. However, Ben has chosen to trust me, and it is a privilege and honour to have that trust, and a joy to uphold it. It is really precious to me.

Deep down inside, I know he will remain faithful. Some may say that I'm naive, but looking at the odds, I'll definitely kill the relationship if I don't commit my trust fully. It's a gamble worth taking. Since God has placed the both of us together - and even held us together through times when the relationship almost went awry, I believe that God will hold our hearts together through to the end.

Thanks love. :) It's been a great ride. :)