In Transit

Got posted to school. Got my timetable. Got my committee. Almost settled down at our new place. Trying to settle into our new routine. Abigail's starting school next Wednesday. I won't be able to be with her. Parents are allowed to accompany their child for one day only. My school's starting next wednesday also. Haven't planned seating layout yet. Haven't cleaned classroom yet. Haven't arranged tables yet. Trying to prepare for first day of school now. So many things to blog but thoughts are flying all over the place. We have reclaimed the final part of our marriage. :)

Woo Hoo!

I have internet access! :D Anyway, quick updates...,

> Found Shalom's ears to be really dirty when we brought the kids over on Saturday. I checked with lina and Eka, and assumed it was just itchy fingers that traveled from the cereal bowl into the ear. We cleaned the ears, especially the right one. The next day, it was waxy again. It seemed like it splattered from inside. I started to panic. He was having a slight fever, on and off also. He was generally well, except for runny nose. We thought it was from the dust at our new place. At times he was fussy, but he's rather feisty, so no alarms set off. On Monday morning, I saw the bed stained. I checked Shalom's ears and found thick fluid flowing out! I was frantic. Grabbed breakfast and tried to surf the net on GPRS for info while waiting for GP's opening hour. I wasn't sure about the operating hours, so I waited abit. Doc checked and said that his eardrum was BROKEN. I was horrified. It was a middle ear infection, most likely triggered by the frequent colds and ailments that he's been suffering, thanks to Abby going to childcare and other reasons. Anyway the doc said that it's a good thing that the ear drum's broken, so that the fluid would flow out instead of building up, which would possibly lead to hearing loss. The ear drum would heal by itself (THANK GOD!) and he'll be fine. Just that now he needs to be put on rather strong antibiotics, plus medicine for runny nose, cough and phlegm. As much as we've been restricting his diet (no sugar no salt) the medication he's been taking so regularly is so filled with sugar, I feel our efforts are pointless. However, he keeps coughing and then throwing up whatever medication he takes (strong gag reflex) that I doubt any medicine has been getting in. It's only sometimes that he doesn't throw up.

> Abby's schedule to go for eye op this thursday. The styes have found themselves a new recruit - so altogether there are three visible ones (two have already affected her skin so there'll be scarring, regardless whether she undergoes surgery) and a couple of dormat ones. KKH Eye centre snr consultant will do an I&D (incision and drainage) to clear the styes. There was this nurse today who tried to explain the procedure to Abby, but it sounded so horrifying I distracted Abby halfway and tried to get her NOT to pay attention to the nurse. It went something like, "Girl, you go for operation okay! The doctor will cut your eye then take it out. It will be very painful but the doctors and nurses will make you better ok?" ARGH. Abby had this horrified look on her face. She knows that she's going for surgery. In fact she's been in such pain she keeps asking for "Put towel eye" - warm compress on her eye. Except that she's not willing to put the medication. I think they sting.

> We had our house blessing yesterday. Mum and my aunt's family came over and prayed for the place. When we went around anointing the house, Abby also took part in the action. It was so cute seeing her with her right palm facing up holding a drip of anointing oil and anointing the house, AND praying and walking around. Mum just came back from Israel, so she bought some stuff as well as a cross for the house. :)

> The place is almost ready, except for the upgrading stuff and curtains and feature wall (if we save up enough). Nevertheless, it's really our very own pad. :) Now the kids sleep separately from us, and we're having separation anxiety.

Abigail's Graduation Concert

Abby's childcare had their graduation concert last Thursday at the HDB auditorium. We were all pretty anxious. I mean, I've known Abby to be the clingy, "MUMMY! MUMMY!" then burst into big tears sort, so I didn't know how she'd fare on stage. But this charming girl took all of us by surprise! When it was the playgroup's turn to perform, the curtains revealed a bunch of all-too-cute boys and girls who started shaking their hands to Sesame Street's No-No-No! (I didn't know there was such a song. Now I know where all her NOs! came from...hmm...)


Actually the kids started shaking, then slowly they all stopped and a few burst out in tears. Stage fright. Almost all came to a standstill except Abby. She was happily shaking, singing the song to the entire audience, wasn't searching for us, just purely enjoying herself! Except when she started getting distracted by this boy who cried off the stage... and then she regained composure and continued shaking her sparklers. And at the final part, everyone was supposed to do a star-jump, and she was one of the rare few who did it! Pity thing was, although Ben took a video recording, Abby was mostly blocked from our direction, so we could only see her partially. She was blocked by a local celebrity's daughter - didn't know she was in the same class as Abby. Argh. Anyway, after we're done with moving house, hopefully Ben will transfer the video to the computer so that I can upload it online. :D



We were very disappointed coz we really couldn't see Abby very well. It was all too fast! She really really enjoyed herself. :D It was over too quickly, and I started wondering - everytime I asked her about her concert, she would roll her hands and walk forward and backwards. Then I figured that the step was self-created. But later we figured that she might have another appearance during the finale, so we endured through the rest of the programme (my brother was quite captivated by this 5 year old eurasian girl's looks) until it was the finale. But I must admit, there were moments of entertainment - such as when a girl dropped her hat the moment she came on, and continued to dance sans hat for a tap dance, and when a boy came on much later, he gentlemanly handed her hat to her. Another girl dropped her shoe and continued to dance as if nothing had happened. Excellent showmanship! :D

We heard the commotion even before the curtains were unveiled. Then we saw Abby! :D Great view coz she was at the front row! The whole group sung, "If we hold on together" and Abby could sing it too! At least parts of it, and at the chorus, she was one of the rare few who did the rolling hands action ("when clouds rolled by, for you and I") and the subsequent hand actions.





Seeing her enjoy herself performing is amazing. Gosh. She's so young and yet she's so amazing on stage. I've never seen her on-stage, so it really wasn't Ben or my idea to get her to perform for the year-end concert. I didn't even know there was one. Prior to this, I believe that even Primary Ones need tonnes of guidance on stage, so it would be close to impossible for me to imagine putting any kid younger than 6 up there. But this one? I'm speechless. I'm just glad that she enjoyed performing, and if she's keen to do it again, she's free to do so. But she will never be coerced against her will. And she has a strong one, just like her parents. :P (But she's stronger...:S) If she had been one of the kids who broke down and had to be carried (usually during school days she's quite clingy with the teacher also... so I thought she'd be afraid) we'll most likely decline subsequent concert performances because we don't want to put unnecessary pressure on her. But she seemed to like it a lot! :) That's really an encouragement, because she seems to be quite a shy and timid girl. So all of us were really taken by surprise!

Anyway, it was way past the kids' bedtime, so most of them weren't really at tip top condition. We managed to capture a few shots, including a close up of her which shows her stye (yup, she performed even with 2 styes) as well as Ian, the boy who has made quite an impression on our little lady. :) We're just glad we got the video footage of it. Must remember to bring good quality video camera if she's performing ever again. Digital camera video footage is extremely lousy from such distance!

Persistent Styes

Abby's styes aren't getting any better. They first evolved in September, and that was in the right upper eyelid. Now the left upper and lower eyelids have styes slapping each other everytime abby blinks. We went back for 2nd review today - doesn't look any better. Dr recommends surgery because she's afraid the infection will spread. Now on maximum medication dosage and things aren't any better. We requested for another week, hoping that the styes will erupt and the entire saga will end. We're really praying for a miracle. We took these photos - taken so far away yet the styes can be seen. Putting medication, as well as giving her oral medication, is very challenging. Dr recommends surgery coz of the difficulty in giving medicine. Abby'll be on GA, then all the styes will be removed. Post-op will not be as painful if the incision is done inner lid, instead of outer lid. Anyway, all this sounds too painful to me. Though I went for one before, I was much older. She's only 2. Sigh.

The Time is NOW!

Woohoo! :D We're now waiting for the movers to arrive after lunch, and everything's mostly packed into our fifty-over boxes - with some more stuff still spilling around, e.g. our clothes, kids' clothes, etc. This whole week will be devoted to unpacking and cosolidating two systems - ben & mine - into one. It's gonna be a fun time trying to merge two separate schemas together and make the most logical conclusion from two separate cultures and lifestyles.

Things have been amazing - we've been really worried about storing our massive number of books. We wanted to get some bookcases from Ikea but we didn't know many to get and what dimensions to get in. So we wanted to wait till most of the existing shelves are moved over before we got the new shelves. But now it's solved coz we're inheriting the shelves.

Oh! Here they come! :D Woohoo!

Revelations from house moving

> That three large plastin bins of assessment books can fit into one paper carton.

> That things that have gone missing mysteriously still aren't surfacing, such as my beloved stack of notes, the missing no. 4 finger from Abigail's puzzle, and the fried fly that fell of the table and disappeared into the abyss among the table and chair legs.

> An additional thirty boxes seems too many to one person and not enough to another. Teen challenge delivered them yesterday. The two rooms are about 40-50% packed and we're left with 22 empty boxes. Will finish by today I think.

> There's kinship in the family especially during hardship such as hard labour. Sister-in-law's hubby whipped out his newly bought O2 and blocked Monday for us when we mentioned that we'll be moving then. *touched*

> Our moving date is controlled by things beyond our control, such as the lift that can accommodate the large pieces of furniture suddenly tendering its application for sabbatical leave for EIGHT MONTHS. Starting on the date we wanted to move - 12 Dec. Buy Toto also not so 'chun'. Just that we don't buy.

> Such a significant event will have a ripple effect on many things and even more emotions. Some look forward to it with anticipation, others with dread and disappointment, especially when they are not in the picture. Oh well, if only we could accommodate to everyone. But can anyone ever?

> The movers may possibly kill their backs from the loads of books we have.

> De-cluttering doesn't take place until we start putting the things we want or need in the places that have been allocated for them. That's 'Reduce' (the need for the things we don't need - we'll give or sell). For the things we are retaining, we'll have to squeeze the life out of them till it's no longer worth using - that's Reuse. When they are at that state, we 'Recycle'.

> We've even bought a recycling bin from Ikea that can be lined with the free recycling bags for our recyclables! :D Lina and Abby are now so familiar with hearing the word 'Recycling'. My trash bin now sees only used tissue papers and 3-in-1 satchets (which I suspect can be recycled also. Haven't found that out thought). Oh, and the occasional 'tar-bao' styrofoam boxes. On the other hand, my recyclables box is filled most of the time. :)

> Things we buy actually stick with us FOR LIFE. Traditionally we'll go mad with buying stuff, even to the point where we think we *might* even need it, or simply because it's cheap, but now those stuff falls under "Will consider, if ever". And we hardly ever do. I've learnt that we need a bigger house to store the massive amounts of clutter we'll never use. And it only gets bigger as we acquire the stuff we don't need.

> Although this may seem as a 'downgrade' - from bungalow to 5-room flat (at least we're made to feel that way anyway - with the constant "Your house big enough to put a fridge or not? Big enough to put this or not? That or not?") we had a paradigm shift as we compared our spacious but old 30 yr old point block to the new but puny condominiums. That one cannot even put tv. I swear.

> Our new location may seem 'ulu' especially to north-easterner Ben who needs to travel to work in Toa Payoh daily, he didn't realise that he made an Hougang-Marine Parade trip daily for the past three years when he was at the student care. That time, no problem. Even when faced with the daily half hourly cruel jam along Hougang Ave 3/Kaki Bukit. Another paradigm shift. Now all is well.

> Our helper will almost never be alone with the kids at the new place. My mum who's a stone's throw away, my aunt who's got a toddler, my granny whose daughter has migrated down under, plus my beloved brother who's the Singapore Idol to my two kids, will possibly all be regulars that the new hangout. Plus my in-laws. Plus cell. Plus friends. Plus plus. :D

> We'll be taking several days off from the kids to unpack and unwind at the new place. We haven't had couple time together very much since Abby was born. Plus the kids have been sleeping with us in the same bedroom. Plus the baby monitor that's also in the room. Plus the no-locked doors policy (long story). MIL was smiling ear to ear when we asked her if we could leave the kids over for a couple of nights. Everyone's happy. Not sure for Abby though. She's been ultra-clingy these few days. Maybe because of the moving. I now pack with her clamped at my leg. Okie, exaggerating. But close enough.

> I've been procrastinating long enough. Will update again when I have this sensation again. Heh. :)

7th Year Anniversary

Today marks seven years Ben & I have been together. Time has flown by so fast, it's amazing. Both of us can't believe it's been seven years already. Which is a good sign. :)

When we started going out together, both of us had heaps of issues with almost every single aspect of our lives. Like for instance, both of us had almost given up on the opposite sex because of tragically painful past relationships. To cut the long story short, because of our ex-es, we are better people. *argh*

Through these years, we've managed to work through most of our issues, and it's been a much better ride especially for 2006. With both our pasts as well as our upbringing, we had a challenging time initially. Also, we almost broke up (twice, I think?), once right before the wedding. It was by God's grace that there was intervention, and the relationship was saved.

I am so blessed by Ben in so many ways. He's always been a gentleman, and up to right now whenever he opens the car door for me, I always tease him, saying, "So, is the girl new, or the car?" :D He's also very down-to-earth and very humble. As his wife, I find myself very encouraged by how he has chosen to live his life. I am very blessed to have him committed to the marriage and to the family. Coming from my family, I am not the most secure person. In fact, recently we had an 'in-depth analysis' and realised that a perception that I was holding was building a wall in our marriage. Because of my parents' marriage, I had begun to 'gear myself up' for the day where the news of a third party would surface. In my head, I would never find out about it because he's not the careless sort. The only way I would ever find out was by his confession. So as I result, I started acting like he already had someone else, mentally preparing myself for the day where I would have to walk out with 2 kids in tow, and the works - like my mother. Unfortunately, my subtle defence started to hurt the marriage. Thank God Ben was sensitive enough to detect that something was not right, and gently helped me to surface this erroneous belief which was beginning to put an almost undetectable strain our marriage. We're still working on it and things have been improving by leaps and bounds. It is challenging for me because none of the men in my family have been monogamous. It's sad, but it's true. Therefore I kinda take it for granted that this applies to all men. This cynicism was detrimental to the relationship because trust was absent. Even without evidence, it was already 'guilty until proven innocent' - and even then, still guilty. Initially when my belief was revealed, Ben explained, "Imagine you are running a business. If you believe that this business is doomed for failure, you wouldn't put your whole heart in it right? You'd behave as if the business would go bust anytime." It's scary, but it's true.

Do I believe that totally monogamous marriages exist? This is a question I've been asking myself. I always say that wives should always highly esteem their husbands, otherwise they'd go be the men of another household. Also, don't be suspicious if the husband is having an affair - otherwise, since the suspicion is already there, might as well fulfill it instead of having to defend himself all the time. Now I have to examine myself if other beliefs are erroneous. Because it is really not fair to Ben. I don't think I'd like it very much either if he kept suspecting me of harbouring feelings or even having an affair with anyone. His trust for me is very reassuring, and it is only right that I commit this to him as well. Looking at our records, it is I who have more grounds for suspicion. However, Ben has chosen to trust me, and it is a privilege and honour to have that trust, and a joy to uphold it. It is really precious to me.

Deep down inside, I know he will remain faithful. Some may say that I'm naive, but looking at the odds, I'll definitely kill the relationship if I don't commit my trust fully. It's a gamble worth taking. Since God has placed the both of us together - and even held us together through times when the relationship almost went awry, I believe that God will hold our hearts together through to the end.

Thanks love. :) It's been a great ride. :)