Leave. Me. Alone.

I snapped at Abby and Shalom last night. They were fighting over the nesting dolls and neither would give in. I yelled at them so sternly and terrified Abby. Shalom held his tears back but Abby was shocked. I broke down. After Abby called Ben (who was at cell), Abby came over to hug me.

How could I do this to my own kids?

The stress of the week has really taken its toll on me. The pressure of not being able to say no. Dealing with the stupidity of some people which led to me fixing up the mess after I returned after the extremely taxing break taking care of two kids who were sick and fussy. Having to plan for lesson observation because of my poor scheduling.

I snapped.

I have almost reached my breaking point.

I snapped earlier yesterday in my English/Science class. We've been collecting the Young Scientist projects, and I had returned the project 3 times to a particular group to get them to change their answers. But no, three times they returned it to me with the same answer. I got really fed up. Here's what they wrote:

Q: How is NEWater generated and give two of its uses.
A: NEWater is from our urine and we drink our own urine. It is purified by urine. It is healthier and it is more refreshing.

And these two girls are my good pupils. They refused to talk to me after that. I refused to look at them also.

Another incident: My kids often confide in me regarding the class politics because I take action. As a result, they don't fool around because they know I care. So two boys came to me to tell me that two other boys have been fighting. So I intervened. I found out that their history dates back to last year, in this colleague's class. She overheard and later told me, "My class doesn't have these issues."

Yah right. Because you cannot be bothered.

I'm fed up and bitchy. I'm pissed. I need rest. Exams are coming and I do not have enough time to revise with my classes. The stacks of marking have risen high, and I have brought marking home. I cannot rest well. I need a breakthrough.