I've just had a fantastic weekend. Although I've been sick the entire long weekend - extended by two days because I was on MC since Wednesday and still nursing the cold - it's been amazing. I was knocked out cold on Wednesday; tried to sleep the entire day but was interrupted once in a while by the kids which was fine with me. Anyway, I caught the bug from them and then they wanted it back. So we ended up sharing it.
Was supposed to meet up with Mich and Elise but had to cancel it the last minute because by then I was out cold again by 9pm. I would have been the living dead at the date. :( Sorry babes, we'll arrange again k?
Why was the weekend fantastic? Because Ben helped me put the foot down. As from the weekend, the verdict is - as long as there's an adult (other than the helper) at home, my MIL is free to do whatever she likes on her own. Perhaps the arrangement might sound harsh (to her at least), but honestly, I really didn't give birth to two kids for her pleasure. It was only from this weekend that I'm beginning to recognise the semblance of the family we were supposed to be.
Take for instance - if Ben & I were living on our own, somewhere else in another country, and his mum was there, day in day out, we wouldn't be able to define to coupleship. But if we were on our own, getting the hang of things on our own, we would be able to identify ourselves as a couple. This is a result of boundaries.
Likewise, for these 5 days (4.5 actually coz she was over on Wednesday but left in the late afternoon), I've finally started to bond with the children and together with Ben, be the authority of the household. It's not easy, but it's surely worth it. On Saturday night, the kids ate something I cooked for them for the very first time. Including my granny also. Although the noodles weren't fantastic, still I was glad they could finally have something their own mother prepared. My helper assisted and was very kind to my rudimentary culinary skills. The husband, granny and kids were also very merciful. My granny complimented on my chicken balls though! :)
We trodded off to the zoo on Friday, much to the dismay of my bro and gf coz they wanted to take the kids there, but on Sat. Abby had been looking forward to the trip and due to some miscommunication on my part, we went on Friday instead of Saturday. We wanted to cover Bird Park also, so one on fri, and one on sat. But bro insisted on taking them to the zoo on sat. We offered to go again on Sat coz we bought the Zoo Pass but they didn't want to. We hit the zoo close to 4 and walked till 6. For the first time, we walked without the map. And for the first time, I saw so many parts of the zoo I had never seen before. I used up so many packets of tissue paper that I lost count, and definitely took notice of the bins in the zoo. I died at bedtime. I was so feverish that I was feeling really cold and shivering. Then we prayed and Ben got me two Panadol cold relief tablets. I could not take the air-conditioning so Ben chose not to sleep in the oven with me. The amazing thing was, before he was sound asleep, I woke him up to say that I was fine already. No longer cold, in fact feeling very hot and perspiring! It was really fast! I didn't keep track of the duration, but it was really fast.
We dug up some old photos and were amazed by what we saw. Check them out.
The Boys
Cute right? :) Pity Ben's second photo is slightly damaged. :(
We missed out taking quite a bit of photos. So must be more religious in doing so. Otherwise time will pass too quickly. Anyway, I'm just really glad for this window of opportunity for the family to enjoy one another. It really makes me appreciative of little things like this. Pity that boundaries have to be so clearly stated in the face instead of knowing what to do at the appropriate time. As such, feelings may be soured. I've also learnt that I can't control her mouth - with me and with others, but I can control my words and actions. I always try to be nice to her, not that I am hypocritical, but in the hope that by
being nice to her, I can generate positive feelings within myself instead of feeling negative (and showing it) whenever she's here. Sometimes she's nice. But most importantly, I always have to remember that she's my kids' granny. Likewise, I am their mother. She isn't. I need to remember that.