Spending the Day

Didn't have to go to school today (Wednesday's off) and don't have to either tomorrow (or later, rather). Wanted to clear my Maths assignment, Social Studies Reflection and some Teacher & Society essay for next Tuesday, but ended spending the day (from 3pm till 9.30pm) with Abigail instead. Although I didn't manage to get any work done, still it was a definitely a worthy sacrifice.

Lately, I think with all the changes - new sibling (big change!), turning two, going to daycare, getting bitten - Abigail hasn't really been adjusting very well. It is a lot of change especially in a few short months - and there'll be more changes ahead. I think she's been feeling a little out of place (especially when I kinda overcompensated before the birth of Shalom by holding her whenever possible and even to sleep every night) when she sees Shalom feeding every morning at my side. She's been more vocal, more manja, more violent (hitting our faces - sometimes playfully, sometimes when she's really frustrated), more sullen, and... just different.

On Sunday, when we reached church without Ben as he was parking the car, Abby was very quiet. I saw a li'l tear. She held me really close. Unfortunately, I had to go change Shalom's diaper, so Ben took over. When I returned, Ben told me Abby had a very unique experience. It seemed as if she was delivered. Seems she started crying suddenly, sobbing terribly and then stopped after a while. When she stopped she looked relieved. When I returned from the loo with Shalom, the first thing she did was to give Shalom a hug. Amazing.

Even for daycare, we've decided that September shall be her last month. We're stopping for several reasons. Firstly, although the teachers are good, somehow as an educator, I am surprised to see empty shelves in a playgroup environment. The classroom consists of 1 pigeon hole for the PG kids, 1 shelf that had books that were torn, one other shelf that holds their waterbottles and 2 trays of toys. (I managed to find one of them for $5 a set.) Although the whole environment (outside the Playgroup zone) is rather wholesome, the problem is, the PG kids don't really get to get out of their zone. So it's quite dumb. We send Abby there before 9 and then pick her up around 11.30-12noon. Every weekday. Monthly it's more than $400. It's not worth it. Secondly, a few days ago, when my MIL went to pick Abby up, it seemed that Abby burst out crying upon seeing her granny. She mentioned, "Teacher... BEAT!" Sigh. Although Abby's learning to speak, sometimes deciphering has to take a while. We really didn't know if her teacher had hit her (I really hope not) but it was still quite worrying coz Abby has stopped crying in daycare for a while. So it seemed this morning, her favourite teacher spoke to ben and told him that when she tried to conduct a lesson (I think a few days ago) Abby couldn't sit still. So she was very firm with Abby and she burst out crying. Ben was quite taken aback upon hearing that. Maybe, just maybe, our kid is not as 'prodigical' as the others, who are able to sit still and attend to the teacher AT TWO YEARS OLD. I have that problem with older kids (8? or 9?) sometimes in my class also. They have REALLY HIGH EXPECTATIONS of my kid. And I'm not sorry she's not meeting up to them. I don't expect Abby to be sitting quietly watching the teacher especially if she's not interested. Ok. Maybe we'll work on that. True, she's easily distracted, but I think that's normal! Perhaps she hasn't learnt to 'sit still', if so, we're very willing to give her time to learn. Even so, I'm just glad she's interested enough in her surroundings to want to explore.

Just now, when we were playing for the whole time, she did keep changing from activity to activity. A couple of minutes here, a couple of minutes on a new activity. But she is always reminded to put away her toys before commencing on a new one. She went through more than 10 books, did sorting, constructing, dancing, singing, getting her snack and then dinner, a video (our wedding video :P) sticker pasting, online Elmo activity, shape-sorting, pretend play, drawing, colouring. It wasn't a half-hearted event; she was really engaged in every single moment and even finished most of the activities! :) I really wished I was able to stay at home full time to help her explore her world more. Oh well.

After our dinner, we had our shower and continued playing, this time with Ben around. Ben first put Shalom to bed and then played with Abby. I realised that after today's play, Abby seemed much less frustrated and more settled in knowing that we, esp I, still love her. She's no problems with Ben's love, but affected by my 'absence' due to seeing her li'l bro always in my arms. There've been a few times when she asked to breastfeed, and wise Ben told me that she wants to be cradled and cuddled as well. I've tried my best telling her that I love her, but somehow she doesn't really believe it. Till yesterday. Because to her, love is indeed spelt T-I-M-E.