Am feeling way much better. Bless Ben for his heart. I was miserable throughout last night because I yelled at Abby, but things became better this morning. We even managed to go our regular Thai restaurant for our weekly fix. Today, we ate A LOT. It was so good. I was smiling after that! :) during the lunch, ben suggested i arrange for a massage- self care. So i went for one after lunch. When i stepped in, it seemed i looked so fatigued the people there just understood and didn't dish out any courtesy crap. Usually they're really friendly, but today, the manager just saw me and gave me a super-sympathetic look. I came out much fresher. The therapist used a fantastic massage gel on me that literally melted away my knots! A heavy investment, and i would really love to get it. Without it, the massage wouldn't be as effective. But it's really pricey! Although the therapist wasn't my regular one, she's also really good. Thank God for today. I managed to finish 3 stacks of marking, but poor kids got slightly neglected by mummy. I asked Abby why i yelled at her yesterday, and she said rhd didn't know. Anyway, i apologised to her for yelling needlessly. She's forgiven me! :)
Was doing a bit of bedtime reading, and abby chose one of her favourite books "It's not easy being a bunny". She can almost read half the book by herself! :) i would read the non-repetitive parts while she'd do the repeated but sequentially-lengthened paragraphs. At first i thought she'd memorised the texts, later, when i pointed out the words at random to her, she could read them! Words such as 'bear, bird, beaver, pig, possum, skunk'! I'm so thrilled! :)
Anyway, I suspect my monthly cycle is fooling around with my moods. Ben reminded me to be thankful for not getting hfmd! That would mean i actually have one week of teaching time instead of taking MCs. Thank God indeed! :D
Showing posts with label Testimony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Testimony. Show all posts
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
It's Finally Friday!
Finally, the madness of this week is over. I cannot describe how thrilled I am. The madness is gone! Woohoo!
I finally managed to sit down today to mark & tally 3 stacks of worksheets, within good time. It's become a luxury-to sit down and mark. My kids and I had just returned from NEWater, so they had some time to kill. They offered their time and services and asked me if i needed any help. Of course! Now, i have 2 tasks almost completed by them! Praise the Lord! One's a reading tree project that's been on hold for the longest time because it just takes up too much time. The other is a tally of their work which takes up time and is not really worth it. So, thank God they took over!
During the trip, one of my boys who had been trying to tell me something the whole day managed to get his message across. He, on his own accord, passed a nomination form around to vote for a preferred Twisted Tales project (which went bad yesterday during the selection process). So it's done! Praise the Lord! Wow. Amazing.
Plus, some angels from my class came up to me, chuckling, telling me to go to our school's Expression Corner. Thankfully, my RO Jo reminded me coz she saw the msg-it was about how life's hard but it's fun coz they're in my class! :D they can be the sweetest at times! :) *touched*
God's been good. I've had favour with parents, students and colleagues. All glory to Him! :)
I finally managed to sit down today to mark & tally 3 stacks of worksheets, within good time. It's become a luxury-to sit down and mark. My kids and I had just returned from NEWater, so they had some time to kill. They offered their time and services and asked me if i needed any help. Of course! Now, i have 2 tasks almost completed by them! Praise the Lord! One's a reading tree project that's been on hold for the longest time because it just takes up too much time. The other is a tally of their work which takes up time and is not really worth it. So, thank God they took over!
During the trip, one of my boys who had been trying to tell me something the whole day managed to get his message across. He, on his own accord, passed a nomination form around to vote for a preferred Twisted Tales project (which went bad yesterday during the selection process). So it's done! Praise the Lord! Wow. Amazing.
Plus, some angels from my class came up to me, chuckling, telling me to go to our school's Expression Corner. Thankfully, my RO Jo reminded me coz she saw the msg-it was about how life's hard but it's fun coz they're in my class! :D they can be the sweetest at times! :) *touched*
God's been good. I've had favour with parents, students and colleagues. All glory to Him! :)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Delayed blog-housekeeping; Work stuff
I've finally changed the tickers below. It's really quite embarassing - prior to the change, Shalom's ticker was stuck at "Shalom's 1 year old!" for the past 13 months. With a photo of him at 4 months.
I also realised I haven't been blogging much last year - mostly because of teaching just sucks the time out from your life. Mondays to Fridays are way too short to do anything much... which is a good thing because it forces me to stare at every minute on Saturday and Sunday, just relishing every moment of it.
I've just done up my time table, and looking at it, I'm amazed I can even find time to mark. These few weeks have been rather exhausting especially with a 3 hr Speech & Drama workshop by Lorna Whinston every Thurdsay. 2 down, 6 more to go. That's 24 hrs worth of work time set aside for this course. I really wanted to siam it because I really couldn't manage my mountains, but mustered enough courage to confess to my hod that I haven't attended it. It's compulsory lah.
Anyway, I got promoted. I never expected to, not after I received my performance bonus of one month plus half a month top up and a 0.6 growth bonus, whatever that means. I received my PB notice right after Ben's, who got a TWO AND A HALF MONTH'S BONUS. He's amazing. I'm glad I snagged him as my life partner. I'd give him 20 and a half month's bonus for just being himself. Who ever gets 2.5 months in Civil Service?!?! So, you see, the promotion news came as a pleasant surprise, thinking that 1 month really is just, 1 month. When I received the email from my P, I almost wanted to delete it after reading the congratulatory message, but I thought, "Better not. Otherwise if don't congratulate people not very nice." And so I looked at the attachment and paused for many seconds when I saw my name on the list.
"Me? Promoted? Wah. Miracle!" I really never ever expected to be promoted. NEVER. Not so fast anyway. It really is a miracle of God. I just began full-fledged teaching last year, and I think we're supposed to wait for 3 years before getting promoted from GEO1.1 to GEO1A1 (for degree holders). My colleague nicely reminded me about my grouse with NS guys - they get promoted after 1 year because of their 2.5 yrs in NS. So after 1 year in teaching, all will get promoted. But not the girls. So I was never expecting this promotion, not after hearing awful news about many people who were passed up for promotion. My understanding? People take a really long time to move up the MOE ladder.
So, it really is a miracle. Someone actually told me that it could have been my contract teaching years being taken into consideration. Definitely not relief teaching though. Come to think of it, I've been with MOE since 2000. That's long. And I just got confirmed end of last year. And I'm still considered a beginning teacher. A 10 year old beginning teacher. Wah. I am a walking paradox. With all these facts, a promotion is unlikely.
Oh well. I just hope I don't have to start from the bottom of the new scale - meaning: pay cut. The starting pay of the next scale is lower than my current scale. I hope the number of increments will follow; otherwise I think I might very likely reject the promotion. :S If that's the case, then on the other hand (if we do continue with the number of increments) why do they still have the basic level (no increment) if people get promoted say after a few years, i.e. after a few increments?
Hmmm... quite confusing. I know trying to squeeze a few more cents is quite a challenge. I did try my best to get them to recognise my Murdoch degree many years ago, and they gave quite an evasive answer, which basically got me stuck at the diploma level though with a degree. That's quite a few hundred dollars difference. Now my colleague's asking me to write in to adjust my pay coz of previous working experience, which I haven't much. :( Some mid-career changers have adjusted quite a bit, but I haven't worked for that long outside... just 8 months previously? It's NIE that has taken my youth away, though during then I did pop twice. ;)
It's nice to receive the promotion, but the higher we climb, the thinner the air gets up there. I really hope I don't end up neglecting Abby and Shalom because of a silly ladder.
I also realised I haven't been blogging much last year - mostly because of teaching just sucks the time out from your life. Mondays to Fridays are way too short to do anything much... which is a good thing because it forces me to stare at every minute on Saturday and Sunday, just relishing every moment of it.
I've just done up my time table, and looking at it, I'm amazed I can even find time to mark. These few weeks have been rather exhausting especially with a 3 hr Speech & Drama workshop by Lorna Whinston every Thurdsay. 2 down, 6 more to go. That's 24 hrs worth of work time set aside for this course. I really wanted to siam it because I really couldn't manage my mountains, but mustered enough courage to confess to my hod that I haven't attended it. It's compulsory lah.
Anyway, I got promoted. I never expected to, not after I received my performance bonus of one month plus half a month top up and a 0.6 growth bonus, whatever that means. I received my PB notice right after Ben's, who got a TWO AND A HALF MONTH'S BONUS. He's amazing. I'm glad I snagged him as my life partner. I'd give him 20 and a half month's bonus for just being himself. Who ever gets 2.5 months in Civil Service?!?! So, you see, the promotion news came as a pleasant surprise, thinking that 1 month really is just, 1 month. When I received the email from my P, I almost wanted to delete it after reading the congratulatory message, but I thought, "Better not. Otherwise if don't congratulate people not very nice." And so I looked at the attachment and paused for many seconds when I saw my name on the list.
"Me? Promoted? Wah. Miracle!" I really never ever expected to be promoted. NEVER. Not so fast anyway. It really is a miracle of God. I just began full-fledged teaching last year, and I think we're supposed to wait for 3 years before getting promoted from GEO1.1 to GEO1A1 (for degree holders). My colleague nicely reminded me about my grouse with NS guys - they get promoted after 1 year because of their 2.5 yrs in NS. So after 1 year in teaching, all will get promoted. But not the girls. So I was never expecting this promotion, not after hearing awful news about many people who were passed up for promotion. My understanding? People take a really long time to move up the MOE ladder.
So, it really is a miracle. Someone actually told me that it could have been my contract teaching years being taken into consideration. Definitely not relief teaching though. Come to think of it, I've been with MOE since 2000. That's long. And I just got confirmed end of last year. And I'm still considered a beginning teacher. A 10 year old beginning teacher. Wah. I am a walking paradox. With all these facts, a promotion is unlikely.
Oh well. I just hope I don't have to start from the bottom of the new scale - meaning: pay cut. The starting pay of the next scale is lower than my current scale. I hope the number of increments will follow; otherwise I think I might very likely reject the promotion. :S If that's the case, then on the other hand (if we do continue with the number of increments) why do they still have the basic level (no increment) if people get promoted say after a few years, i.e. after a few increments?
Hmmm... quite confusing. I know trying to squeeze a few more cents is quite a challenge. I did try my best to get them to recognise my Murdoch degree many years ago, and they gave quite an evasive answer, which basically got me stuck at the diploma level though with a degree. That's quite a few hundred dollars difference. Now my colleague's asking me to write in to adjust my pay coz of previous working experience, which I haven't much. :( Some mid-career changers have adjusted quite a bit, but I haven't worked for that long outside... just 8 months previously? It's NIE that has taken my youth away, though during then I did pop twice. ;)
It's nice to receive the promotion, but the higher we climb, the thinner the air gets up there. I really hope I don't end up neglecting Abby and Shalom because of a silly ladder.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Church Camp, Kids Sick, Lina's Back!, Approaching Avalanche
Haven't been able to blog coz my hands (and feet) are tied with overwhelming responsibilities. Nevertheless, I'm glad life's almost back to sanity. We returned from church camp on the 15th and it was AMAZING. When I first arrived there, I was spent. Tired. Fatigued. During the first session, Ps Martin Steel spoke about coming with a heart of expectancy. I just expected to survive the camp. Nothing else. But God just was amazing. Actually, I was anything but enthusiastic. I was bitter, fatigued, worried, aching, miserable etc... so when Ps Martin asked us to get into groups of 2s and 3s to pray for one another, I wasn't that excited about it. In fact I wanted to go back to the room. However, it seemed like God had other plans. This lady turned around and smiled at me after the instructions, and so I went up to her and joined hands with her. She just said, "Let's pray as the Holy Spirit leads." I was like, hmm... alright. I felt this strong anointing on her, but since I was so out-of-shape emotionally, spiritually, etc, I just went along with her.
When she started praying, she was spot on for every single bug in my life. From that coldness in my heart, to the fatigue, to that silent isolation which I hardly told anyone, and even healing for the backache which I have been having. God was indeed alive and kicking, through her I felt heard and alive. I cried like a baby and just simply couldn't stop. She understood. I had not even said a word and she understood.
The next evening, when she saw me again, she rejoiced. She saw that I was completely different. Indeed I was. With that divine encounter, I couldn't stay the same - cynical and embittered. In fact, upon hindsight, I believe it was because I had to serve on the worship team the next morning that I had this 'clean-up' so that I could worship Jesus without hindrance and to help lead His people to worship Him. Anyway, she said that she had such a huge burden for me the evening before that when she returned to her hotel room, she continued praying in tears for me. God really works wonders.
Besides this encounter, my cell-groupmates had the burden for everyone to come together before the day starts and after the day's activities to pray together. Every morning at 6.40am before the 7am prayer service and 10.30pm after the evening service. It was very exciting! In fact, as we gathered around outside the conference room to pray, our dearest pastor Mark was moved to tears at seeing that passion in our cell. Everyone has been ignited. And we need to protect our fire and fan the flame. Usually after each church camp, when the fire is not well-protected, it would perish due to neglect. However, when we united and close ranks, the fire keeps on burning. In fact, the cell now gathers at 7.30pm to have a pre-cell prayer before cell at 8.20, and yesterday cell was radically different! In fact our worship leader said that of all the cell meetings she's attended, yesterday was the most exciting so far! It was amazing! :D Praise God!
I'm so glad the kids have bonded so well with the cell group, especially with Eileen, Soks, Jeremy, Chellie and Anderson. Usually the kids would be rather shy, but after this camp and now that we're meeting so regularly, they are family to the kids!
God's really so good. In spite of challenges like Shalom's 40.3 deg Cel fever, we continued praying as well as giving med, sponging, and miraculously, today he's all well! Yesterday he was still above 39.5. Unfortunately, Abby's now down with fever, hovering around 39 plus, so it's really back to prayer, medication and sponging. As the cell prayed for healing for the two kids, we were expecting healing. Shalom's healed! Now's Abby's turn!
Praise God that Lina's back! Ben and I have learnt to appreciate her way much more, as we've had experience with other helpers during her absence, and the way she works is absolutely commendable. I'm just glad God's blessed us with her.
The hols are coming to an end, but God's proven Himself faithful. Although I feel like I'm treading into an absolutely chaotic territory come Monday, He has promised that He will see me through it all. Through Anderson's testimony during cell, I am encouraged by how the seemingly huge workpile was easily dealt with. I really pray for supernatural time management and efficiency so that I will meet my deadlines and be a responsible and proactive teacher. This really calls for a miracle!
When she started praying, she was spot on for every single bug in my life. From that coldness in my heart, to the fatigue, to that silent isolation which I hardly told anyone, and even healing for the backache which I have been having. God was indeed alive and kicking, through her I felt heard and alive. I cried like a baby and just simply couldn't stop. She understood. I had not even said a word and she understood.
The next evening, when she saw me again, she rejoiced. She saw that I was completely different. Indeed I was. With that divine encounter, I couldn't stay the same - cynical and embittered. In fact, upon hindsight, I believe it was because I had to serve on the worship team the next morning that I had this 'clean-up' so that I could worship Jesus without hindrance and to help lead His people to worship Him. Anyway, she said that she had such a huge burden for me the evening before that when she returned to her hotel room, she continued praying in tears for me. God really works wonders.
Besides this encounter, my cell-groupmates had the burden for everyone to come together before the day starts and after the day's activities to pray together. Every morning at 6.40am before the 7am prayer service and 10.30pm after the evening service. It was very exciting! In fact, as we gathered around outside the conference room to pray, our dearest pastor Mark was moved to tears at seeing that passion in our cell. Everyone has been ignited. And we need to protect our fire and fan the flame. Usually after each church camp, when the fire is not well-protected, it would perish due to neglect. However, when we united and close ranks, the fire keeps on burning. In fact, the cell now gathers at 7.30pm to have a pre-cell prayer before cell at 8.20, and yesterday cell was radically different! In fact our worship leader said that of all the cell meetings she's attended, yesterday was the most exciting so far! It was amazing! :D Praise God!
I'm so glad the kids have bonded so well with the cell group, especially with Eileen, Soks, Jeremy, Chellie and Anderson. Usually the kids would be rather shy, but after this camp and now that we're meeting so regularly, they are family to the kids!
God's really so good. In spite of challenges like Shalom's 40.3 deg Cel fever, we continued praying as well as giving med, sponging, and miraculously, today he's all well! Yesterday he was still above 39.5. Unfortunately, Abby's now down with fever, hovering around 39 plus, so it's really back to prayer, medication and sponging. As the cell prayed for healing for the two kids, we were expecting healing. Shalom's healed! Now's Abby's turn!
Praise God that Lina's back! Ben and I have learnt to appreciate her way much more, as we've had experience with other helpers during her absence, and the way she works is absolutely commendable. I'm just glad God's blessed us with her.
The hols are coming to an end, but God's proven Himself faithful. Although I feel like I'm treading into an absolutely chaotic territory come Monday, He has promised that He will see me through it all. Through Anderson's testimony during cell, I am encouraged by how the seemingly huge workpile was easily dealt with. I really pray for supernatural time management and efficiency so that I will meet my deadlines and be a responsible and proactive teacher. This really calls for a miracle!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
A Tough Reminder
Screaming at trees and children
Many parents, perhaps the majority, admit to losing their tempers and screaming at their kids from time to time. Usually we shrug it off assuming that not much harm was done. But is that really the case?
Deep in the woods of the Solomon Islands lives a tribe of villagers who practice a strange form of logging. When a tree is too large to be felled with an axe, they bring it down by yelling at it. Tribesmen believed to have special powers sneak up on the tree at dawn and scream at the top of their lungs. Day after day, they repeat this practice. Eventually, the tree dies and falls to the ground. "It kills the spirit of the tree," they say.
Well, I admit that I'm a bit skeptical of thie practice and that it works on trees, but I'll you this much: It will sure bring down a human being. If you want to kill someone's spirit, yelling is a great way to get it done.
And no spirit on earth is more fragile than that of a child. Though we mean no harm when we scream and shout at our kids, is there really nothing harmless about it? It's humiliating, and it's discouraging to children, and it often leaves scars that will last for a lifetime.
Admittedly, children will be irresponsible at times, and they're going to get on our nerves every now and then. Still, they deserve-and need-to be treated with dignity and respect. Resist the temptation to yell at them.
Taken from Today, Thursday, 25th January 2007
Although this article is written for parents, it is especially significant to me as an educator. It is week 5 of the year, and many colleagues have already lost their voice at least once. I hate the feeling in my throat after I yell at the kids. My body can take long days, but once I yell, even once, my throat starts feeling funny.
My mentor & I resolved last Friday not to scream at the students this week. That was before this article was published. Needless to say, we yelled at them so we reflected and decided not to. Oh well, I yelled once this week. Other than that, when I wasn't yelling, I observed many things.
First of all, when I wasn't yelling, the kids listened better. At only 10, they've learnt to shut out pain - that includes our shelling. It's a self-defence mechanism at work. Especially the once that are most difficult and most testing. Those that are openly defiant especially when you shout at them to sit down so that you can begin your lesson.
Without shouting/yelling, I was forced to get the kids on task. I also paid attention to them - as human beings. Then numerous realisations hit me.
1. These kids are bored. Honestly, if I had to teach from the textbook, I'd be real bored as well. They are bored (and so am I) because they see little purpose in school. The faraway PSLE doesn't do much to motivate them. Also, they are so used to multitasking (think multiple windows, internet, iTunes, cable, MSN, etc) vs paying attention to the teacher. During our time, we, as students, probably were able to last about 20-30minutes. These kids aren't anywhere near there. Even if they are, the entertainer has to be really entertaining. Even with enjoyable tv programs, they are used to commercial breaks. How then can we fault them for being restless?
2. There are various ways of learning. Majority of the kids aren't auditory learners, so whatever we say won't even reach their ears. I tried this - I was 'supposed to' scold them, but I explained to them in a strange way, saying, "Alright, at this point, normally I will scold you. But since you won't listen anyway, and it really takes lotsa energy to scold, and most importantly, it'll waste time, then what I'll do is, we'll just take 2 minutes. Just imagine me scolding you." And then I watched the clock for 2 minutes. It worked simply because we were heading out to the computer lab for some fun. So they felt the pain of wasted time. I wouldn't recommend this for the normal talk and chalk lesson, coz that's precisely what they want. They literally felt the time wasting away. Lesson learnt. Back to various learning styles. Quite a number are visual learners, so I prepare my specific but simple instructions on powerpoint - quick job, saves me time to yell again and again, and most can't hear me anyway - and leave it on when they're doing work. It really saves repeating - energy and time.
3. Setting the agenda on the board for the day really helps them to follow through with me, instead of them feeling bombarded or led by the nose. When they know how many more items are there to go, they'll gladly do so. This visual aid also reminds me what's to be done.
4. They actually love to work. It's when there's lotsa teacher talk and no work that frustrates them. So this week, most lessons have been hands-on, IT-based, drama, group work, discussion. In fact, my form class is about to adopt an endangered animal. For real. Amazing! But they didn't do very well for the report. Oh well.
5. Structure activities so that they actually have opportunities to get out of their seat. Normally I would distribute all worksheets, get them to do them, then hand up to the leader (now known as Task Captain). But what I did on Friday was to term the worksheets as 'Levels' (like games), finish Level 1, put worksheet in front, ascend to Level 2, etc... kinda shuttle run style but no running. Everyone enjoyed the chance to get out of their seat. They didn't abuse it, thank God.
6. Setting up a blog really helps to facilitate things. I get to put up English interactive lessons and games and the kids who have computer access can go there and explore. One of my weaker pupils actually enjoyed this site! But my regret? Putting up the tagboard. They've been flooding the board and one of them - an anonymous creature - has been using vulgar words. IP banned, but would that frustrate him even more?
7. Not screaming especially at those 'characters' actually provided bonding opportunities. One of them (who's an untouchable coz the parent will sue anyone and everyone) whom I've yelled at actually showed me a magic card trick. Ben thinks it's an accomplishment. :)
8. One kid had a major meltdown on Thursday. We were supposed to have spelling, and the kids around him were badgering him to follow my given format. He was extremely resistant, and I was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Although I was firm (yet gentle), he seemingly obliged but threw the book at the table after I walked away. He's really got social-emotional issues - I've had a few encounters with him and definitely has special needs. When I walked to him again, he refused to get started on his spelling and walked out of the class. Not the first time - he does that everytime the class gets too noisy. He'll just sit outside, calm himself down then return. But this time he disappeared. As expected, he returned after awhile but he packed his bag. He just wanted to walk off for good this time. I held him back and he started screaming and growling. I kept holding him and saying, "It's ok, it's ok." Usually I would've have gotten into a shouting match. But this time, instincts told me he really needed help. I asked him if he wanted to return to his parents, and he started sobbing in my arms and nodded. He wanted to go back into his 'hole' and said that his granny was waiting for him. I managed to get him to stay, and provided the priviledge of being the first to leave when the bell rang. I just couldn't trust that the granny would pick him up 25 minutes before dismissal. She might not even be there. So he stayed on and the lesson continued. The class was shocked by the entire saga and we had some finger fun and Simon says, kinda business as usual. That boy even contributed quite a bit when we had to do vocab. The next day, he asked me when he could do his spelling. It's almost as if he's 2 separate persons. When I spoke to the Chinese teacher, she said I should have restrained him when he first wanted to walk out. I said I did (only when he packed his bag) and the whole hooha happened. Thank God I didn't yell at him. It would have been worse.
9. Because there was no yelling, one of my 'characters' even helped me do admin stuff after school. Usually there'll be some kind of resistance, but because of the peaceful dealings (i.e. no yelling) he was keen to help me as he had time before his soccer. He was a really good help I must say. Sadly, I learnt that his parent has been really violent with him in the name of discipline and he's recording all the violence down so that he can get back next time. Heart pain.
10. The overall atmosphere is much better now. As for my form class, I'm really enjoying my time there. They're keen to learn and they seem to have begun dreaming of the impossible. One of them asked me, "You mean it's possible to be a female pilot?" "Why not?" "You mean we can publish our own books?" "Why not?" And then you see their eyes light up. Shiok. :D
This week's resolutions:
- Be more sensitive to pupils' needs and help them see that they're not too young to start contributing to society. This week's topic which is long overdue - people with disabilities and personal recount also known as diary writing. I'd rather call it blogging. :)
- No yelling, no screaming, no shouting.
- Take time out for lunch.
- Leave for home early at least one day a week - Tuesday.
Purposeful Engagement, Positive Experience.
That's my motto. We'll see how things go this week.
Many parents, perhaps the majority, admit to losing their tempers and screaming at their kids from time to time. Usually we shrug it off assuming that not much harm was done. But is that really the case?
Deep in the woods of the Solomon Islands lives a tribe of villagers who practice a strange form of logging. When a tree is too large to be felled with an axe, they bring it down by yelling at it. Tribesmen believed to have special powers sneak up on the tree at dawn and scream at the top of their lungs. Day after day, they repeat this practice. Eventually, the tree dies and falls to the ground. "It kills the spirit of the tree," they say.
Well, I admit that I'm a bit skeptical of thie practice and that it works on trees, but I'll you this much: It will sure bring down a human being. If you want to kill someone's spirit, yelling is a great way to get it done.
And no spirit on earth is more fragile than that of a child. Though we mean no harm when we scream and shout at our kids, is there really nothing harmless about it? It's humiliating, and it's discouraging to children, and it often leaves scars that will last for a lifetime.
Admittedly, children will be irresponsible at times, and they're going to get on our nerves every now and then. Still, they deserve-and need-to be treated with dignity and respect. Resist the temptation to yell at them.
Taken from Today, Thursday, 25th January 2007
Although this article is written for parents, it is especially significant to me as an educator. It is week 5 of the year, and many colleagues have already lost their voice at least once. I hate the feeling in my throat after I yell at the kids. My body can take long days, but once I yell, even once, my throat starts feeling funny.
My mentor & I resolved last Friday not to scream at the students this week. That was before this article was published. Needless to say, we yelled at them so we reflected and decided not to. Oh well, I yelled once this week. Other than that, when I wasn't yelling, I observed many things.
First of all, when I wasn't yelling, the kids listened better. At only 10, they've learnt to shut out pain - that includes our shelling. It's a self-defence mechanism at work. Especially the once that are most difficult and most testing. Those that are openly defiant especially when you shout at them to sit down so that you can begin your lesson.
Without shouting/yelling, I was forced to get the kids on task. I also paid attention to them - as human beings. Then numerous realisations hit me.
1. These kids are bored. Honestly, if I had to teach from the textbook, I'd be real bored as well. They are bored (and so am I) because they see little purpose in school. The faraway PSLE doesn't do much to motivate them. Also, they are so used to multitasking (think multiple windows, internet, iTunes, cable, MSN, etc) vs paying attention to the teacher. During our time, we, as students, probably were able to last about 20-30minutes. These kids aren't anywhere near there. Even if they are, the entertainer has to be really entertaining. Even with enjoyable tv programs, they are used to commercial breaks. How then can we fault them for being restless?
2. There are various ways of learning. Majority of the kids aren't auditory learners, so whatever we say won't even reach their ears. I tried this - I was 'supposed to' scold them, but I explained to them in a strange way, saying, "Alright, at this point, normally I will scold you. But since you won't listen anyway, and it really takes lotsa energy to scold, and most importantly, it'll waste time, then what I'll do is, we'll just take 2 minutes. Just imagine me scolding you." And then I watched the clock for 2 minutes. It worked simply because we were heading out to the computer lab for some fun. So they felt the pain of wasted time. I wouldn't recommend this for the normal talk and chalk lesson, coz that's precisely what they want. They literally felt the time wasting away. Lesson learnt. Back to various learning styles. Quite a number are visual learners, so I prepare my specific but simple instructions on powerpoint - quick job, saves me time to yell again and again, and most can't hear me anyway - and leave it on when they're doing work. It really saves repeating - energy and time.
3. Setting the agenda on the board for the day really helps them to follow through with me, instead of them feeling bombarded or led by the nose. When they know how many more items are there to go, they'll gladly do so. This visual aid also reminds me what's to be done.
4. They actually love to work. It's when there's lotsa teacher talk and no work that frustrates them. So this week, most lessons have been hands-on, IT-based, drama, group work, discussion. In fact, my form class is about to adopt an endangered animal. For real. Amazing! But they didn't do very well for the report. Oh well.
5. Structure activities so that they actually have opportunities to get out of their seat. Normally I would distribute all worksheets, get them to do them, then hand up to the leader (now known as Task Captain). But what I did on Friday was to term the worksheets as 'Levels' (like games), finish Level 1, put worksheet in front, ascend to Level 2, etc... kinda shuttle run style but no running. Everyone enjoyed the chance to get out of their seat. They didn't abuse it, thank God.
6. Setting up a blog really helps to facilitate things. I get to put up English interactive lessons and games and the kids who have computer access can go there and explore. One of my weaker pupils actually enjoyed this site! But my regret? Putting up the tagboard. They've been flooding the board and one of them - an anonymous creature - has been using vulgar words. IP banned, but would that frustrate him even more?
7. Not screaming especially at those 'characters' actually provided bonding opportunities. One of them (who's an untouchable coz the parent will sue anyone and everyone) whom I've yelled at actually showed me a magic card trick. Ben thinks it's an accomplishment. :)
8. One kid had a major meltdown on Thursday. We were supposed to have spelling, and the kids around him were badgering him to follow my given format. He was extremely resistant, and I was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Although I was firm (yet gentle), he seemingly obliged but threw the book at the table after I walked away. He's really got social-emotional issues - I've had a few encounters with him and definitely has special needs. When I walked to him again, he refused to get started on his spelling and walked out of the class. Not the first time - he does that everytime the class gets too noisy. He'll just sit outside, calm himself down then return. But this time he disappeared. As expected, he returned after awhile but he packed his bag. He just wanted to walk off for good this time. I held him back and he started screaming and growling. I kept holding him and saying, "It's ok, it's ok." Usually I would've have gotten into a shouting match. But this time, instincts told me he really needed help. I asked him if he wanted to return to his parents, and he started sobbing in my arms and nodded. He wanted to go back into his 'hole' and said that his granny was waiting for him. I managed to get him to stay, and provided the priviledge of being the first to leave when the bell rang. I just couldn't trust that the granny would pick him up 25 minutes before dismissal. She might not even be there. So he stayed on and the lesson continued. The class was shocked by the entire saga and we had some finger fun and Simon says, kinda business as usual. That boy even contributed quite a bit when we had to do vocab. The next day, he asked me when he could do his spelling. It's almost as if he's 2 separate persons. When I spoke to the Chinese teacher, she said I should have restrained him when he first wanted to walk out. I said I did (only when he packed his bag) and the whole hooha happened. Thank God I didn't yell at him. It would have been worse.
9. Because there was no yelling, one of my 'characters' even helped me do admin stuff after school. Usually there'll be some kind of resistance, but because of the peaceful dealings (i.e. no yelling) he was keen to help me as he had time before his soccer. He was a really good help I must say. Sadly, I learnt that his parent has been really violent with him in the name of discipline and he's recording all the violence down so that he can get back next time. Heart pain.
10. The overall atmosphere is much better now. As for my form class, I'm really enjoying my time there. They're keen to learn and they seem to have begun dreaming of the impossible. One of them asked me, "You mean it's possible to be a female pilot?" "Why not?" "You mean we can publish our own books?" "Why not?" And then you see their eyes light up. Shiok. :D
This week's resolutions:
- Be more sensitive to pupils' needs and help them see that they're not too young to start contributing to society. This week's topic which is long overdue - people with disabilities and personal recount also known as diary writing. I'd rather call it blogging. :)
- No yelling, no screaming, no shouting.
- Take time out for lunch.
- Leave for home early at least one day a week - Tuesday.
Purposeful Engagement, Positive Experience.
That's my motto. We'll see how things go this week.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
The Difference between a Father and a Mother
Ben took Abby to school yesterday. Seems she was pretty clingy. But Ben stood at a distance and let her mingle with her new friends and teachers. Ben showed me a photo of her engaged in an activity. Upon closer inspection, it seemed like she was doing fractions. Wah.
Today, parents weren't allowed to accompany their kids. So Ben handed Abby over to her teacher and left. She clinged on to Ben for her dear life. But within 5 minutes, she was playing with other kids and her toys. It was really quick. Ben even took a video of her playing with some toys. When her granny picked her up after school, she didn't burst out crying like how she used to do so at the previous childcare. My MIL was very surprised. Her teacher even said that Abby was very well-behaved and even played with other kids. We of little faith. We expected her to yell her lungs out, but she was happy in her new environment.
I've learnt NOT to be there during such events. I'm way too soft-hearted. Formerly at the childcare, I almost whipped her home after hearing her cry non-stop on the third day. I was there for the first 2 days. It was heart-wrenching. And she cried for a long time after that. Even when she finally settled down. At times she would be fine, then burst out crying when my MIL picks her up at the end of her session. Ben does a much better job of dropping her off at school. Coz Abby 'takes Angel to school' (not that she's going to school, but she's accompanying her toy angel to school). Ben'll pray with her every morning before dropping her off, and that really helps her to adjust. Once we asked her whom she saw at her previous childcare. And she replied, "Jesus." :)
I'm just glad she's here - in a Christian environment, with caring and loving teachers, highly engaging with preferred teaching philosophies. I just hope I can teach that way too. :P
Today, parents weren't allowed to accompany their kids. So Ben handed Abby over to her teacher and left. She clinged on to Ben for her dear life. But within 5 minutes, she was playing with other kids and her toys. It was really quick. Ben even took a video of her playing with some toys. When her granny picked her up after school, she didn't burst out crying like how she used to do so at the previous childcare. My MIL was very surprised. Her teacher even said that Abby was very well-behaved and even played with other kids. We of little faith. We expected her to yell her lungs out, but she was happy in her new environment.
I've learnt NOT to be there during such events. I'm way too soft-hearted. Formerly at the childcare, I almost whipped her home after hearing her cry non-stop on the third day. I was there for the first 2 days. It was heart-wrenching. And she cried for a long time after that. Even when she finally settled down. At times she would be fine, then burst out crying when my MIL picks her up at the end of her session. Ben does a much better job of dropping her off at school. Coz Abby 'takes Angel to school' (not that she's going to school, but she's accompanying her toy angel to school). Ben'll pray with her every morning before dropping her off, and that really helps her to adjust. Once we asked her whom she saw at her previous childcare. And she replied, "Jesus." :)
I'm just glad she's here - in a Christian environment, with caring and loving teachers, highly engaging with preferred teaching philosophies. I just hope I can teach that way too. :P
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
7th Year Anniversary
Today marks seven years Ben & I have been together. Time has flown by so fast, it's amazing. Both of us can't believe it's been seven years already. Which is a good sign. :)
When we started going out together, both of us had heaps of issues with almost every single aspect of our lives. Like for instance, both of us had almost given up on the opposite sex because of tragically painful past relationships. To cut the long story short, because of our ex-es, we are better people. *argh*
Through these years, we've managed to work through most of our issues, and it's been a much better ride especially for 2006. With both our pasts as well as our upbringing, we had a challenging time initially. Also, we almost broke up (twice, I think?), once right before the wedding. It was by God's grace that there was intervention, and the relationship was saved.
I am so blessed by Ben in so many ways. He's always been a gentleman, and up to right now whenever he opens the car door for me, I always tease him, saying, "So, is the girl new, or the car?" :D He's also very down-to-earth and very humble. As his wife, I find myself very encouraged by how he has chosen to live his life. I am very blessed to have him committed to the marriage and to the family. Coming from my family, I am not the most secure person. In fact, recently we had an 'in-depth analysis' and realised that a perception that I was holding was building a wall in our marriage. Because of my parents' marriage, I had begun to 'gear myself up' for the day where the news of a third party would surface. In my head, I would never find out about it because he's not the careless sort. The only way I would ever find out was by his confession. So as I result, I started acting like he already had someone else, mentally preparing myself for the day where I would have to walk out with 2 kids in tow, and the works - like my mother. Unfortunately, my subtle defence started to hurt the marriage. Thank God Ben was sensitive enough to detect that something was not right, and gently helped me to surface this erroneous belief which was beginning to put an almost undetectable strain our marriage. We're still working on it and things have been improving by leaps and bounds. It is challenging for me because none of the men in my family have been monogamous. It's sad, but it's true. Therefore I kinda take it for granted that this applies to all men. This cynicism was detrimental to the relationship because trust was absent. Even without evidence, it was already 'guilty until proven innocent' - and even then, still guilty. Initially when my belief was revealed, Ben explained, "Imagine you are running a business. If you believe that this business is doomed for failure, you wouldn't put your whole heart in it right? You'd behave as if the business would go bust anytime." It's scary, but it's true.
Do I believe that totally monogamous marriages exist? This is a question I've been asking myself. I always say that wives should always highly esteem their husbands, otherwise they'd go be the men of another household. Also, don't be suspicious if the husband is having an affair - otherwise, since the suspicion is already there, might as well fulfill it instead of having to defend himself all the time. Now I have to examine myself if other beliefs are erroneous. Because it is really not fair to Ben. I don't think I'd like it very much either if he kept suspecting me of harbouring feelings or even having an affair with anyone. His trust for me is very reassuring, and it is only right that I commit this to him as well. Looking at our records, it is I who have more grounds for suspicion. However, Ben has chosen to trust me, and it is a privilege and honour to have that trust, and a joy to uphold it. It is really precious to me.
Deep down inside, I know he will remain faithful. Some may say that I'm naive, but looking at the odds, I'll definitely kill the relationship if I don't commit my trust fully. It's a gamble worth taking. Since God has placed the both of us together - and even held us together through times when the relationship almost went awry, I believe that God will hold our hearts together through to the end.
Thanks love. :) It's been a great ride. :)
When we started going out together, both of us had heaps of issues with almost every single aspect of our lives. Like for instance, both of us had almost given up on the opposite sex because of tragically painful past relationships. To cut the long story short, because of our ex-es, we are better people. *argh*
Through these years, we've managed to work through most of our issues, and it's been a much better ride especially for 2006. With both our pasts as well as our upbringing, we had a challenging time initially. Also, we almost broke up (twice, I think?), once right before the wedding. It was by God's grace that there was intervention, and the relationship was saved.
I am so blessed by Ben in so many ways. He's always been a gentleman, and up to right now whenever he opens the car door for me, I always tease him, saying, "So, is the girl new, or the car?" :D He's also very down-to-earth and very humble. As his wife, I find myself very encouraged by how he has chosen to live his life. I am very blessed to have him committed to the marriage and to the family. Coming from my family, I am not the most secure person. In fact, recently we had an 'in-depth analysis' and realised that a perception that I was holding was building a wall in our marriage. Because of my parents' marriage, I had begun to 'gear myself up' for the day where the news of a third party would surface. In my head, I would never find out about it because he's not the careless sort. The only way I would ever find out was by his confession. So as I result, I started acting like he already had someone else, mentally preparing myself for the day where I would have to walk out with 2 kids in tow, and the works - like my mother. Unfortunately, my subtle defence started to hurt the marriage. Thank God Ben was sensitive enough to detect that something was not right, and gently helped me to surface this erroneous belief which was beginning to put an almost undetectable strain our marriage. We're still working on it and things have been improving by leaps and bounds. It is challenging for me because none of the men in my family have been monogamous. It's sad, but it's true. Therefore I kinda take it for granted that this applies to all men. This cynicism was detrimental to the relationship because trust was absent. Even without evidence, it was already 'guilty until proven innocent' - and even then, still guilty. Initially when my belief was revealed, Ben explained, "Imagine you are running a business. If you believe that this business is doomed for failure, you wouldn't put your whole heart in it right? You'd behave as if the business would go bust anytime." It's scary, but it's true.
Do I believe that totally monogamous marriages exist? This is a question I've been asking myself. I always say that wives should always highly esteem their husbands, otherwise they'd go be the men of another household. Also, don't be suspicious if the husband is having an affair - otherwise, since the suspicion is already there, might as well fulfill it instead of having to defend himself all the time. Now I have to examine myself if other beliefs are erroneous. Because it is really not fair to Ben. I don't think I'd like it very much either if he kept suspecting me of harbouring feelings or even having an affair with anyone. His trust for me is very reassuring, and it is only right that I commit this to him as well. Looking at our records, it is I who have more grounds for suspicion. However, Ben has chosen to trust me, and it is a privilege and honour to have that trust, and a joy to uphold it. It is really precious to me.
Deep down inside, I know he will remain faithful. Some may say that I'm naive, but looking at the odds, I'll definitely kill the relationship if I don't commit my trust fully. It's a gamble worth taking. Since God has placed the both of us together - and even held us together through times when the relationship almost went awry, I believe that God will hold our hearts together through to the end.
Thanks love. :) It's been a great ride. :)
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
It could have turned out real bad
I was feeding Abigail dinner tonite when she behaved like she had found something in her mouth. Slowly, she pulled out, between her thumb and index finger, a fishbone! It's about 2cm long! Thank God Lina wasn't the one who prepared the fish but my MIL, otherwise she'd have been throttled to death by now. Not too long ago I explained to Abby what a fishbone was and even let her touch one, or rather, several. Showed her how it felt like, especially in the mouth, and to eat carefully and pull it out if ever she found one inside. THANK GOD SHE DID. It's really scary.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Sudden changes
Suddenly, our Wish came true. Ben's dad called during lunch yesterday and asked us to go to Tagore coz he's looking at either a Wish or Honda Stream. To cut the long story short, we committed to a Toyota Wish XE 1.8L (Light Grey that doesn't look very grey). It's been our dream to get this car coz our Mazda can't ferry anyone once the family loads up, and we hate that. Actually, we've died to that idea coz when Ben's dad first saw the Wish, he wasn't overly impressed with it and wanted to get a Picnic instead (which is supposedly the same car actually! but more conventional looking). So the two men didn't get any coz they couldn't agree. Oh well. Then suddenly - many months later (FIL has been scouting around actually!) and got us there. It was totally amazing.
Another thing - my MIL's maid has been on our nerves for the longest time, so much so that we're pretty numb to it. Initially we really wanted her out - even wanted to install CCTV to 'catch her' etc... but also died to the ideas. And then - when she went for her medical check up on thursday, the pregnancy test kit showed "+". She even wanted the doc NOT to tell my MIL! Oh well. She says that it's her hubby's (he came to singapore) - they did it on Hari Raya which was on 24 Oct 2006. (Check up was on 22 Nov.) You do the math. My aunt asked, "Her hubby sent his sperm here uh?" Not too long ago, she said that he had run away with some other woman. It's all too confusing. Anyway she's gone back. Seems she wanted to abort the foetus and had wanted her friend to deliver the abortion medicine here, which ruffled my FIL's feathers. He said if she wants to do it, go back Indo to do it, but not in the house. Seems she's bent on it. Hopefully the saga has ceased. They're getting a new maid, and MIL is rather pleased with the new one after the interview last night - doesn't like long hair, walks fast, can cook (but Indo food). We're 'encouraging' ours to be on her best behaviour so that the new one won't adopt the nasty generational attitude towards my MIL.
Things are looking upwards. :)
Another thing - my MIL's maid has been on our nerves for the longest time, so much so that we're pretty numb to it. Initially we really wanted her out - even wanted to install CCTV to 'catch her' etc... but also died to the ideas. And then - when she went for her medical check up on thursday, the pregnancy test kit showed "+". She even wanted the doc NOT to tell my MIL! Oh well. She says that it's her hubby's (he came to singapore) - they did it on Hari Raya which was on 24 Oct 2006. (Check up was on 22 Nov.) You do the math. My aunt asked, "Her hubby sent his sperm here uh?" Not too long ago, she said that he had run away with some other woman. It's all too confusing. Anyway she's gone back. Seems she wanted to abort the foetus and had wanted her friend to deliver the abortion medicine here, which ruffled my FIL's feathers. He said if she wants to do it, go back Indo to do it, but not in the house. Seems she's bent on it. Hopefully the saga has ceased. They're getting a new maid, and MIL is rather pleased with the new one after the interview last night - doesn't like long hair, walks fast, can cook (but Indo food). We're 'encouraging' ours to be on her best behaviour so that the new one won't adopt the nasty generational attitude towards my MIL.
Things are looking upwards. :)
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Posting Update
Because of my no-pay leave supposedly ending on 31 Dec 06, the ministry hasn't been able to post me. So after today's conversation with one of their really nice and patient staff, I found out that I haven't been posted to any school yet and that they'll try to rush me to report on 4th dec (so that I can start drawing a paycheck :D). The lady also called me many times (I was at Hip Hop so I couldn't take the call) and when I finally called her back, her colleague, who was also really nice, filled me in on the details. I'm just really grateful to them for being so nice and patient. I mean, after dealing with a certain department in NIE that eats trainees for breakfast, I'm kinda terrified at these corporate people. But I'm just glad we had a pleasant conversation. And the best part: They will send the posting memo to my current residence! Yesh! that means I don't have to shuttle to the new place whenever I have this sense that I HAVE MAIL. It's really disappointing actually...
Oh well. Glad things are looking up. Praise God. :)
Oh well. Glad things are looking up. Praise God. :)
Expecting Changes
Had a hectic weekend, and I just realised that the graduating cohort (i.e. PGDE January intake) is supposed to report on 4 Dec to their schools! Let's see, I've got an exam on the 28th Nov, but have got some NIE enrichment programme starting on the 27th which will last for a week (but I'm exempted from several activities :D) and am most likely to report to my new school on the 4th! I haven't finished packing yet, in fact, I've barely started! :P have to speed up the packing process now.
Anyway, I've been bugging MOE personnel regarding my posting by calling them everyday - 3 days liao. They haven't gotten back to me yet. Will call them again tomorrow. Seems they have sent the posting memo out the previous Firday (10 Nov) but till now I haven't received any news. It's very troublesome coz I have to go to the new place to open the letterbox just to see if there's any mail! I've tried my luck by asking them if they could release my posting to me over the phone, but they said it's not the normal practice. SO I HAVE TO SHUTTLE WHENEVER I HEAR NEWS THAT I MIGHT HAVE RECEIVED MY POSTING. But the nice lady did suggest (but didn't follow up) for me to provide them my mailing address so that it would be easier for me. That's really sweet of her actually. Seems like I might have been overlooked coz I'm not the graduating January cohort but one of the remmants from the previous July 04 BA intake. Anyhow they'll have to post me somewhere, but it seems like I'm not on Poi Ching's list either. Oh well. God will put me in wherever He deems fit.
Time's running out, and I'm spending every precious moment of it with the kiddos. I now have very strong arms. :)
Anyway, I've been bugging MOE personnel regarding my posting by calling them everyday - 3 days liao. They haven't gotten back to me yet. Will call them again tomorrow. Seems they have sent the posting memo out the previous Firday (10 Nov) but till now I haven't received any news. It's very troublesome coz I have to go to the new place to open the letterbox just to see if there's any mail! I've tried my luck by asking them if they could release my posting to me over the phone, but they said it's not the normal practice. SO I HAVE TO SHUTTLE WHENEVER I HEAR NEWS THAT I MIGHT HAVE RECEIVED MY POSTING. But the nice lady did suggest (but didn't follow up) for me to provide them my mailing address so that it would be easier for me. That's really sweet of her actually. Seems like I might have been overlooked coz I'm not the graduating January cohort but one of the remmants from the previous July 04 BA intake. Anyhow they'll have to post me somewhere, but it seems like I'm not on Poi Ching's list either. Oh well. God will put me in wherever He deems fit.
Time's running out, and I'm spending every precious moment of it with the kiddos. I now have very strong arms. :)
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